307,00,000[' ]| 307:01,000[' ]| 307:01,001[A ]| Ovid, who bid the ladies laugh, 307:01,002[A ]| Spoke only to the young and fair; 307:01,003[A ]| For thee his counsel was not safe, 307:01,004[A ]| Who of sound teeth has scarce a pair; 307:01,005[A ]| If thou thy glass, or me believe, 307:01,006[A ]| Shun mirth, as foplings do the wind; 307:01,007[A ]| At Durfey's farce affect to grieve; 307:01,008[A ]| And let thy eyes alone be kind. 307:01,009[A ]| Speak not though it were to give consent; 307:01,010[A ]| For he that sees those rotten bones, 307:01,011[A ]| Will dread the monumental scent, 307:01,012[A ]| And fly thy sighs like dying groans. 307:01,013[A ]| If thou art wise, see dismal plays, 307:01,014[A ]| And to sad stories lend thy ear; 307:01,015[A ]| With the afflicted, spend thy days, 307:01,016[A ]| And laugh not above once a year. 307:02,000[' ]| 307:02,001[A ]| I offer love, but thou respect wilt have; 307:02,002[A ]| Take, Sextus, all thy pride and folly crave; 307:02,003[A ]| But know, I can be no man's friend and slave. 307:03,000[' ]| 307:03,001[A ]| How shall we please this age? If in a song 307:03,002[A ]| We put above six lines, they count it long; 307:03,003[A ]| If we contract it to an epigram, 307:03,004[A ]| As deep the dwarfish poetry they damn; 307:03,005[A ]| If we write plays, few see above an act, 307:03,006[A ]| And those lewd masks, or noisy fops distract: 307:03,007[A ]| Let us write satire then, and at our ease 307:03,008[A ]| Vex the ill-natured fools we cannot please. 307:04,000[' ]| 307:04,001[A ]| When thou art asked to sup abroad, 307:04,002[A ]| Thou swearst thou hast but newly dined; 307:04,003[A ]| That eating late does overload 307:04,004[A ]| The stomach, and oppress the mind: 307:04,005[A ]| But if Appicius make a treat, 307:04,006[A ]| The slenderest summons thou obeyst, 307:04,007[A ]| No child is greedier of the teat, 307:04,008[A ]| Than thou art of the bounteous feast. 307:04,009[A ]| There thou wilt drink till every star 307:04,010[A ]| Be swallowed by the rising sun: 307:04,011[A ]| Such charms hath wine we pay not for, 307:04,012[A ]| And mirth, at others' charge begun. 307:04,013[A ]| Who shuns his club, yet flies to every treat 307:04,014[A ]| Does not a supper, but a reckoning hate. 307:05,000[' ]| 307:05,001[A ]| What business, or what hope brings thee to town, 307:05,002[A ]| Who canst not pimp, nor cheat, nor swear, nor lie? 307:05,003[A ]| This place will nourish no such idle drone; 307:05,004[A ]| Hence, in remoter parts thy fortune try. 307:05,005[A ]| But thou hast courage, honesty, and wit, 307:05,006[A ]| And one, or all these three, will give thee bread: 307:05,007[A ]| The malice of this town thou knowst not yet; 307:05,008[A ]| Wit is a good diversion, but base trade; 307:05,009[A ]| Cowards will, for thy courage, call thee bully, 307:05,010[A ]| Till all, like Thraso's, thy acquaintance shun; 307:05,011[A ]| Rogues call thee for thy honesty a cully; 307:05,012[A ]| Yet this is all thou hast to live upon: 307:05,013[A ]| Friend, three such virtues, Audley had undone; 307:05,014[A ]| Be wise, and ere thou art in a gaol, be gone, 307:05,015[A ]| Of all that starving crew we saw today 307:05,016[A ]| None but has killed his man, or writ his play. 307:06,000[' ]| 307:06,001[A ]| That thou dost cashoo breath, and foreign gums, 307:06,002[A ]| Enough to put thy mistress into fits; 307:06,003[A ]| Though Rome thy hair, and Spain thy gloves perfumes, 307:06,004[A ]| Few like, but all suspect, those borrowed sweets: 307:06,005[A ]| The gifts of various nature come and go, 307:06,006[A ]| He that smells always, well does never so. 307:07,000[' ]| 307:07,001[A ]| If Scaeva for more friends thou care, 307:07,002[A ]| Which thy great merit cannot want; 307:07,003[A ]| For me an humble place prepare, 307:07,004[A ]| That I am new, make no complaint, 307:07,005[A ]| Thy dearest friends were strangers once, like me, 307:07,006[A ]| Like them, in time, I an old friend may be, 307:07,007[A ]| If thou no want of friendly virtues see. 307:08,000[' ]| 307:08,001[A ]| If thou dost want a horse, thou buyst a score, 307:08,002[A ]| Or if a piece of wine, thou wilt have a tun; 307:08,003[A ]| Swords, belts, or hats, does any cheat bring o'er; 307:08,004[A ]| At his own rate thou wilt have all or none. 307:08,005[A ]| Whilst out of wantonness thou buyst so fast, 307:08,006[A ]| Out of mere want thou wilt sell all at last. 307:09,000[' ]| 307:09,001[A ]| Leave off thy paint, perfumes, and youthful dress, 307:09,002[A ]| And nature's failing honesty confess; 307:09,003[A ]| Double we see those faults which art would mend, 307:09,004[A ]| Plain downright ugliness would less offend. 307:10,000[' ]| 307:10,001[A ]| Thou strutst, as if thou wert the only lord; 307:10,002[A ]| When we all know of such there is an house, 307:10,003[A ]| Where I might sit, could I the price afford, 307:10,004[A ]| And Child has now three earldoms out at use, 307:10,005[A ]| High expectation does attend good seed, 307:10,006[A ]| Yet none will buy a known jade, for his breed; 307:10,007[A ]| Boast not too much thy mighty pedigree, 307:10,008[A ]| Were they alive, they'd be ashamed of thee. 307:11,000[' ]| 307:11,001[A ]| Through servile flattery thou dost all commend: 307:11,002[A ]| Who cares to please, where no man can offend? 307:12,000[' ]| 307:12,001[A ]| Thou quibblest well, hast craft and industry, 307:12,002[A ]| Flatterest great men, laughst at their enemies, 307:12,003[A ]| Rallyst the absent, art a pretty spy, 307:12,004[A ]| Yet for all this in court thou dost not rise; 307:12,005[A ]| Thou playst thy court-game booty: I'm afraid 307:12,006[A ]| Thou hast promised marriage, when thy fortune's made, 307:12,007[A ]| And so thou darst not thrive upon thy trade. 307:13,000[' ]| 307:13,001[A ]| All things are common amongst friends, thou sayst; 307:13,002[A ]| This is thy morning and thy evening song: 307:13,003[A ]| Thou in rich point, and Indian silk art dressed, 307:13,004[A ]| Six foreign steeds to thy calash belong, 307:13,005[A ]| Whilst by my clothes the ragman scarce would gain, 307:13,006[A ]| And an uneasy hackney jolts my sides; 307:13,007[A ]| A cloak embroidered intercepts thy rain, 307:13,008[A ]| A worsted camlet my torn breeches hides; 307:13,009[A ]| Turbots and mullets thy large dishes hold, 307:13,010[A ]| In mine a solitary whiting lies; 307:13,011[A ]| Thy train might fire the impotent and old, 307:13,012[A ]| Whilst my poor hand a Ganymede supplies: 307:13,013[A ]| For an old wanting friend thou wilt nothing do, 307:13,014[A ]| Yet all is common among friends we know; 307:13,015[A ]| Nothing so common, as to use 'em so. 307:14,000[' ]| 307:14,001[A ]| That thou dost shorten thy long nights with wine, 307:14,002[A ]| We all forgive thee, for so Cato did; 307:14,003[A ]| That thou writest poems without one good line, 307:14,004[A ]| Tully's example may that weakness hide; 307:14,005[A ]| Thou art a cuckold, so great Caesar was; 307:14,006[A ]| Eatst till thou spewst, Antonius did the same; 307:14,007[A ]| That thou lovst whores, Jove loves a bucksome lass; 307:14,008[A ]| But that thou art whipped, is thy peculiar shame. 307:15,000[' ]| 307:15,001[A ]| Whilst thou sitst drinking up thy loyalty, 307:15,002[A ]| And railst at laws, thou dost not understand, 307:15,003[A ]| Adorst the ministers, who know not thee, 307:15,004[A ]| Sellst thy long freedom for a short command, 307:15,005[A ]| The power thou aimst at, if o'er thee one have, 307:15,006[A ]| In a rich coat thou art but a ranting slave. 307:16,000[' ]| 307:16,001[A ]| Coscus, thou sayst my epigrams are long; 307:16,002[A ]| I'd take thy judgement on a pot of ale: 307:16,003[A ]| So thou mayst say the elephant's too strong, 307:16,004[A ]| A dwarf too short, the pyramid too tall; 307:16,005[A ]| Things are not long, where we can nothing spare; 307:16,006[A ]| But, Coscus, even thy distichs tedious are. 307:17,000[' ]| 307:17,001[A ]| That thy wife coughs all night, and spits all day; 307:17,002[A ]| Already thou believst thy fortune made: 307:17,003[A ]| Her whole estate thou thinkst thy sudden prey; 307:17,004[A ]| She will not die, but wheedles like a jade. 307:18,000[' ]| 307:18,001[A ]| Wouldst thou be free, I fear thou art in jest; 307:18,002[A ]| But if thou wouldst, this is the only way: 307:18,003[A ]| Be no man's tavern, nor domestic guest; 307:18,004[A ]| Drink wholesome wine, which thy own servants draw; 307:18,005[A ]| Of knavish Curio, scorn the ill-got plate, 307:18,006[A ]| The numerous servants, and the cringing throng; 307:18,007[A ]| With a few friends on fewer dishes eat, 307:18,008[A ]| And let thy clothes, like mine, be plain and strong; 307:18,009[A ]| Such friendships make, as thou mayst keep with ease, 307:18,010[A ]| Great men expect, what good men hate to pay; 307:18,011[A ]| Be never thou thy*self in pain to please, 307:18,012[A ]| But leave to fools, and knaves, the uncertain prey. 307:18,013[A ]| Let thy expense with thy estate keep pace; 307:18,014[A ]| Meddle with no man's business, scarce thy own; 307:18,015[A ]| Contented pay for a plebeian face, 307:18,016[A ]| And leave vain fops the beauties of the town. 307:18,017[A ]| If to this pitch of virtue thou canst bring 307:18,018[A ]| Thy mind, thou art freer than the Persian king. 307:19,000[' ]| 307:19,001[A ]| Thou swearst thou wilt drink no more; kind heaven send 307:19,002[A ]| Me such a cook or coachman, but no friend. 307:20,000[' ]| 307:20,001[A ]| When to thy husband thou didst first refuse 307:20,002[A ]| The lawful pleasures of thy charming bed; 307:20,003[A ]| Men did his pipe, and pot, and whores accuse; 307:20,004[A ]| On his mere lewdness the whole fault we laid: 307:20,005[A ]| Into thy house thou tookst a deep divine, 307:20,006[A ]| And all thy neighbours flocked to hear him preach; 307:20,007[A ]| The cheated world did in thy praises join, 307:20,008[A ]| The wiser sort yet knew thy wanton reach; 307:20,009[A ]| From Sundays crowds thou didst thy gallants choose, 307:20,010[A ]| And, when they failed thee, the good doctor use. 307:21,000[' ]| 307:21,001[A ]| Thou wilt fight, if any man call Thebe whore: 307:21,002[A ]| That she is thine, what can proclaim it more? 307:22,000[' ]| 307:22,001[A ]| Cloris, the prettiest girl about the town, 307:22,002[A ]| Asked fifty guineas for her maidenhead; 307:22,003[A ]| I laughed, but Cascus paid the money down, 307:22,004[A ]| And the young wench did to his chamber lead. 307:22,005[A ]| This thrift my eager Catzo did upbraid, 307:22,006[A ]| And wished that he had grown 'twixt Cascus's thighs; 307:22,007[A ]| Get me but half what his got him, I said, 307:22,008[A ]| And to content thee, I'll ne'er stick at price. 307:23,000[' ]| 307:23,001[A ]| Thou art an atheist, Quintus, and a wit, 307:23,002[A ]| Thinkst all was of self-moving atoms made, 307:23,003[A ]| Religion only for the vulgar fit, 307:23,004[A ]| Priests rogues, and preaching their deceitful trade; 307:23,005[A ]| Wilt drink, whore, fight, blaspheme, damn, curse and swear: 307:23,006[A ]| Why wilt thou swear, by God, if there be none? 307:23,007[A ]| And if there be, thou shouldst his vengeance fear: 307:23,008[A ]| Methinks this huffing might be let alone; 307:23,009[A ]| 'Tis thou art free, mankind besides a slave, 307:23,010[A ]| And yet a whore may lead thee by the nose, 307:23,011[A ]| A drunken bottle, and a flattering knave, 307:23,012[A ]| A mighty prince, slave to thy dear soul's foes, 307:23,013[A ]| Thy lust, thy rage, ambition and thy pride; 307:23,014[A ]| He that serves God, need nothing serve beside. 307:24,000[' ]| 307:24,001[A ]| When Arria to her Phoetus gave the steel, 307:24,002[A ]| Which from her bleeding side did newly part; 307:24,003[A ]| From my own wound, she said, no pain I feel: 307:24,004[A ]| And yet thy wound will stab me to the heart. 307:25,000[' ]| 307:25,001[A ]| One month a lawyer, thou the next wilt be 307:25,002[A ]| A grave physician, and the third a priest; 307:25,003[A ]| Choose quickly one profession of the three; 307:25,004[A ]| Married to her, thou yet mayst court the rest. 307:25,005[A ]| Whilst thou standst doubting, Bradbury has got 307:25,006[A ]| Five thousand pound, and Conquest as much more; 307:25,007[A ]| Watson is made bishop, from a drunken sot: 307:25,008[A ]| Leap in, and stand not shivering on the shore; 307:25,009[A ]| On any one amiss thou canst not fall, 307:25,010[A ]| Thou wilt end in nothing, if thou graspst at all. 307:26,000[' ]| 307:26,001[A ]| Surly and sour thou dislikst mankind; 307:26,002[A ]| But most thou hatest the company thou art in; 307:26,003[A ]| Seest all their faults, but to thy own art blind: 307:26,004[A ]| Yet still thou cryst, when shall we meet again? 307:26,005[A ]| Thou canst not sit at home, what shouldst thou read? 307:26,006[A ]| For all are fools, thou knowst that ever writ. 307:26,007[A ]| What shouldst thou do abroad? this age does breed 307:26,008[A ]| A sort of vermin, have not half their wit. 307:26,009[A ]| Thou hatest the world, hate flesh and devil so, 307:26,010[A ]| And, for a blessed end, to Burnet's go; 307:26,011[A ]| But, for thy misery, thou art an atheist too. 307:27,000[' ]| 307:27,001[A ]| Phrine, as odious as youth well can be, 307:27,002[A ]| The daughter of a courtier in high place, 307:27,003[A ]| Met with a Balaam ass, that could not see; 307:27,004[A ]| His blindness she, and that excused her face. 307:27,005[A ]| Were she not ugly, she would him despise; 307:27,006[A ]| Nor would he marry her, if he had eyes. 307:27,007[A ]| To their defects, they're for the match in debt, 307:27,008[A ]| And, but for faults on both sides, ne'er had met. 307:28,000[' ]| 307:28,001[A ]| That I ne'er saw thee in a coach with man, 307:28,002[A ]| Nor thy chaste name in wanton satire met; 307:28,003[A ]| That from thy sex thy liking never ran, 307:28,004[A ]| So as to suffer a male servant yet. 307:28,005[A ]| I thought thee the Lucretia of our time: 307:28,006[A ]| But, Bassa, thou the while a Tribas wert, 307:28,007[A ]| And clashing cunts, with a prodigious crime, 307:28,008[A ]| Didst act of man the inimitable part. 307:28,009[A ]| What OEdipus this riddle can untie? 307:28,010[A ]| Without a male, there was adultery. 307:29,000[' ]| 307:29,001[A ]| Storm not, brave friend, that thou hadst never yet 307:29,002[A ]| Mistress nor wife that others did not swive, 307:29,003[A ]| But, like a Christian, pardon and forget, 307:29,004[A ]| For thy own pox will thy revenge contrive. 307:30,000[' ]| 307:30,001[A ]| When I had purchased a fresh whore or coat, 307:30,002[A ]| For which I knew not how to pay, 307:30,003[A ]| Sextus, that wretched covetous old sot, 307:30,004[A ]| My ancient friend, as he will say; 307:30,005[A ]| Lest I should borrow of him, took great care, 307:30,006[A ]| And muttered to himself aloud, 307:30,007[A ]| So as he knew I could not choose but hear 307:30,008[A ]| How much he to Secundas owed, 307:30,009[A ]| And twice as much he paid for interest, 307:30,010[A ]| Nor had one farthing in his trusty chest: 307:30,011[A ]| If I had asked, I knew he would not lend; 307:30,012[A ]| 'Tis new, beforehand, to deny a friend.