901:01,000[' ]| 901:01,001[A ]| What, Timon, does old age begin t' approach 901:01,002[A ]| That thus thou droop'st under a night's debauch? 901:01,003[A ]| Hast thou lost deep to needy rogues on tick 901:01,004[A ]| Who ne'er could pay and must be paid next week? 901:01,005[B ]| Neither, alas; but a dull dining sot 901:01,006[B ]| Seized me i' th' Mall who just my name had got. 901:01,007[B ]| He runs upon me, cries: 901:01,007@c | ""Dear rogue, I'm thine! 901:01,008@c | With me some wits of thy acquaintance dine."" 901:01,009[B ]| I tell him I'm engaged, but, as a whore 901:01,010[B ]| With modesty enslaves her spark the more, 901:01,011[B ]| The longer I denied, the more he pressed. 901:01,012[B ]| At last I e'en consent to be his guest. 901:01,013[B ]| He takes me in his coach and as we go 901:01,014[B ]| Pulls out a libel of a sheet or two, 901:01,015[B ]| Insipid as The*Praise*of*Pious*Queens 901:01,016[B ]| Or Shadwell's unassisted former scenes, 901:01,017[B ]| Which he admired and praised at every line: 901:01,018[B ]| At last it was so sharp it must be mine. 901:01,019[B ]| I vowed I was no more a wit than he, 901:01,020[B ]| Unpractised and unblessed in poetry: 901:01,021[B ]| A song to Phyllis I perhaps might make 901:01,022[B ]| But never rhymed but for my pintle's sake. 901:01,023[B ]| I envied no man's fortune nor his fame, 901:01,024[B ]| Nor ever thought of a revenge so tame. 901:01,025[B ]| He knew my style, he swore, and 'twas in vain 901:01,026[B ]| Thus to deny the issue of my brain. 901:01,027[B ]| Choked with his flattery, I no answer make 901:01,028[B ]| But silent leave him to his dear mistake, 901:01,029[B ]| Which he by this has spread o'er the whole town 901:01,030[B ]| And me with an officious lie undone. 901:01,031[B ]| Of a well-meaning fool I'm most afraid 901:01,032[B ]| Who sillily repeats what was well said. 901:01,033[B ]| But this was not the worst: when he came home, 901:01,034[B ]| He asked 901:01,034@c | ""Are Sedley, Buckhurst, Savile come?"" 901:01,035[B ]| No, but there were above Halfwit and Huff, 901:01,036[B ]| Kickum and Dingboy: 901:01,036@c | ""Oh, 'tis well enough! 901:01,037@c | They're all brave fellows!"", 901:01,037[B ]| cries mine host, 901:01,037@c | ""Let's dine! 901:01,038@c | I long to have my belly full of wine. 901:01,039@c | They'll write and fight I dare assure you: 901:01,040@c | They're men \7tam*Marte*quam*Mercurio.\"" 901:01,041[B ]| I saw my error, but 'twas now too late: 901:01,042[B ]| No means nor hopes appear of a retreat. 901:01,043[B ]| Well, we salute and each man takes his seat. 901:01,044@c | ""Boy!"", 901:01,044[B ]| says my sot, 901:01,044@c | ""Is my wife ready yet?"" 901:01,045[B ]| A wife, good gods! a fop and bullies too! 901:01,046[B ]| For one poor meal what must I undergo? 901:01,047[B ]| In comes my lady straight: she had been fair, 901:01,048[B ]| Fit to give love and to prevent despair; 901:01,049[B ]| But age, beauty's incurable disease, 901:01,050[B ]| Had left her more desire than power to please. 901:01,051[B ]| As cocks will strike although their spurs be gone, 901:01,052[B ]| She with her old blear eyes to smite begun. 901:01,053[B ]| Though nothing else, she in despite of time 901:01,054[B ]| Preserved the affectation of her prime. 901:01,055[B ]| However you began, she brought in love 901:01,056[B ]| And hardly from that subject would remove. 901:01,057[B ]| We chanced to speak of the French king's success: 901:01,058[B ]| My lady wondered much how heaven could bless 901:01,059[B ]| A man that loved two women at one time, 901:01,060[B ]| But more how he to them excused his crime. 901:01,061[B ]| She asked Huff if love's flame he never felt: 901:01,062[B ]| He answered bluntly, 901:01,062@w | ""Do you think I'm gelt?"" 901:01,063[B ]| She at his plainness smiled, then turned to me: 901:01,064@v | ""Love in young minds precedes ev'n poetry. 901:01,065@v | You to that passion can no stranger be; 901:01,066@v | But wits are given to inconstancy."" 901:01,067[B ]| She had run on, I think, till now, but meat 901:01,068[B ]| Came up and suddenly she took her seat. 901:01,069[B ]| I thought the dinner would make some amends 901:01,070[B ]| When my good host cries out, 901:01,070@c | ""You're all my friends! 901:01,071@c | Our own plain fare and the best terse the Bull 901:01,072@c | Affords I'll give you and your bellies full. 901:01,073@c | As for French kickshaws, sillery and champoon, 901:01,074@c | Ragouts and fricassees, in troth we've none."" 901:01,075@b | ""Here's a good dinner towards"", 901:01,075[B ]| thought I, when straight 901:01,076[B ]| Up comes a piece of beef, full horseman's weight, 901:01,077[B ]| Hard as the arse of Mosely under which 901:01,078[B ]| The coachman sweats as ridden by a witch; 901:01,079[B ]| A dish of carrots, each of them as long 901:01,080[B ]| As tool that to fair countess did belong, 901:01,081[B ]| Which her small pillow could not so well hide 901:01,082[B ]| But visitors his flaming head espied: 901:01,083[B ]| Pig, goose and capon followed in the rear 901:01,084[B ]| With all that country bumpkins call good cheer, 901:01,085[B ]| Served up with sauces all of eighty-eight 901:01,086[B ]| When our tough youth wrestled and threw the weight. 901:01,087[B ]| And now the bottle briskly flies about, 901:01,088[B ]| Instead of ice wrapped up in a wet clout. 901:01,089[B ]| A brimmer follows the third bit we eat: 901:01,090[B ]| Small beer becomes our drink and wine our meat. 901:01,091[B ]| The table was so large that in less space 901:01,092[B ]| A man might safe six old Italians place: 901:01,093[B ]| Each man had as much room as Porter, Blunt, 901:01,094[B ]| Or Harris had in Cullen's bushel cunt. 901:01,095[B ]| And now the wine began to work, mine host 901:01,096[B ]| Had been a colonel: we must hear him boast 901:01,097[B ]| Not of towns won but an estate he lost 901:01,098[B ]| For the King's service, which indeed he spent 901:01,099[B ]| Whoring and drinking, but with good intent. 901:01,100[B ]| He talked much of a plot and money lent 901:01,101[B ]| In Cromwell's time. My lady, she 901:01,102[B ]| Complained our love was coarse, our poetry 901:01,103[B ]| Unfit for modest ears: small whores and players 901:01,104[B ]| Were of our harebrained youth the only cares, 901:01,105[B ]| Who were too wild for any virtuous league, 901:01,106[B ]| Too rotten to consummate the intrigue. 901:01,107[B ]| Falkland she praised and Suckling's easy pen 901:01,108[B ]| And seemed to taste their former parts again. 901:01,109[B ]| Mine host drinks to the best in Christendom, 901:01,110[B ]| And decently my lady quits the room. 901:01,111[B ]| Left to ourselves, of several things we prate: 901:01,112[B ]| Some regulate the stage and some the state. 901:01,113[B ]| Halfwit cries up my lord of Orrery: 901:01,114@w | ""Ah, how well Mustapha and Zanger die! 901:01,115@w | His sense so little forced that by one line 901:01,116@w | You may the other easily divine: 901:01,117@w | And which is worse, if any worse can be, 901:01,118@w | He never said one word of it to me. 901:01,119@w | There's fine poetry! You'd swear 'twere prose, 901:01,120@w | So little on the sense the rhymes impose."" 901:01,121@w | ""Damn me!"", 901:01,121[B ]| cries Dingboy, 901:01,121@w | ""In my mind, God's wounds, 901:01,122@w | Etherege writes airy songs and soft lampoons 901:01,123@w | The best of any man; as for your nouns, 901:01,124@w | Grammar and rules of art, he knows 'em not, 901:01,125@w | Yet writ two talking plays without one plot."" 901:01,126[B ]| Huff was for Settle and \Morocco\ praised; 901:01,127[B ]| Said rumbling words like drums his courage raised: 901:01,128[B ]| Whose broad-built bulks the boist'rous billows bear ~~ ~~ 901:01,129[B ]| Zaphee and Sallee, Mogador, Oran, 901:01,130[B ]| The famed Arzile, Alcazar, Tetuan. 901:01,131@w | ""Was ever braver language writ by man?"" 901:01,132[B ]| Kickum for Crowne declared, said in romance 901:01,133[B ]| He had outdone the very wits of France: 901:01,134@w | ""Witness \Pandion\ and his \Charles*the*Eight\, 901:01,135@w | Where a young monarch, careless of his fate, 901:01,136@w | Though foreign troops and rebels shock his state, 901:01,137@w | Complains another sight afflicts him more, 901:01,138@w | Viz% the queen's galleys rowing from the shore, 901:01,139@w | Fitting their oars and tackling to be gone, 901:01,140@w | Whilst sporting waves smiled on the rising sun. 901:01,141@w | "Waves smiling on the sun" ~~ I'm sure that's new, 901:01,142@w | And 'twas well thought on, give the Devil his due."" 901:01,143[B ]| Mine host who had said nothing in an hour 901:01,144[B ]| Rose up and praised \The*Indian*Emperor\: 901:01,145@c | ""As if our old world modestly withdrew, 901:01,146@c | And here in private had brought forth a new. 901:01,147@c | There are two lines! Who but he durst presume 901:01,148@c | To make th' old world a new withdrawing room 901:01,149@c | Where of another world she's brought to bed? 901:01,150@c | What a brave midwife is a Laureate's head! 901:01,151@c | But pox of all these scribblers! What d' ye think: 901:01,152@c | Will Zouches this year any champoon drink? 901:01,153@c | Will Turenne fight him?"" 901:01,153@w | ""Without doubt"", 901:01,153[B ]| says Huff, 901:01,154@w | ""When they two meet, their meeting will be rough."" 901:01,155@w | ""Damn me!"", 901:01,155[B ]| says Dingboy, 901:01,155@w | ""The French cowards are. 901:01,156@w | They pay, but th' English, Scots and Swiss make war. 901:01,157@w | In gaudy troops at a review they shine 901:01,158@w | But dare not with the Germans battle join. 901:01,159@w | What now appears like courage is not so: 901:01,160@w | 'Tis a short pride which from success does grow. 901:01,161@w | On their first blow they'll shrink into those fears 901:01,162@w | They showed at Crecy, Agincourt, Poitiers. 901:01,163@w | Their loss was infamous: honour so stained 901:01,164@w | Is by a nation not to be regained."" 901:01,165@w | ""What they were then, I know not; now they're brave: 901:01,166@w | He that denies it lies and is a slave"", 901:01,167[B ]| Says Huff and frowned. Says Dingboy, 901:01,167@w | ""That do I"" 901:01,168[B ]| And at that word at th' other's head let fly 901:01,169[B ]| A greasy plate, when suddenly they all 901:01,170[B ]| Together by the ears in parties fall: 901:01,171[B ]| Halfwit with Dingboy joins, Kickum with Huff ~~ 901:01,172[B ]| Their swords were safe and so we let them cuff 901:01,173[B ]| Till they, mine host and I had all enough. 901:01,174[B ]| Their rage once over, they begin to treat 901:01,175[B ]| And six fresh bottles must the peace complete. 901:01,176[B ]| I ran downstairs with a vow nevermore 901:01,177[B ]| To drink bear glass and hear the bullies roar.