99:01,000['  ]| <Say, Heav'n-born Muse>
99:01,000['  ]| <From "Poems on Several Occasions" Antwerp, 1680?>
99:01,000['  ]| <Scolar Press, 1971>
99:01,000['  ]| <The Argument.>
99:01,001['  ]| How Tall-Boy, Kill-Prick, Suck-Prick did contend
99:01,002['  ]| For$4$ Bridegroom Dildo, Friend did fight with Friend;
99:01,003['  ]| But Man of God, by$4$ Lay-Men called Parson,
99:01,004['  ]| Contrived by$4$ turns, how each might rub her Arse on$5$.
99:01,005['  ]| Say, Heaven-born Muse, for$3$ only thou canst tell,
99:01,006['  ]| How discord Dire between two Widows fell;
99:01,007['  ]| What made the Fair One, and her well-shap'd Mother,
99:01,008['  ]| Duty forget, and pious Nature smother.
99:01,009['  ]| Who$6#1$ was most Modest, Virtuous, or Fair,
99:01,010['  ]| Was not the cause of contest, I dare swear.
99:01,100['  ]| Not Wit, nor Breeding, raised this Emulation;
99:01,011['  ]| Those things with them are Trifles out of fashion:
99:01,012['  ]| Great was the Strife raised up$5$ by$4$ envious Fate,
99:01,013['  ]| To$9$ ruin Pego's happy Reign and State. 
99:01,014['  ]| When R*** with evil Eye beheld
99:01,015['  ]| The Three dear Friends, his Heart with Rancour swelled,
99:01,016['  ]| That$3$ in$4$ one House they were of one accord,
99:01,017['  ]| Wanton in$4$ Bed, and Riotous at Board,
99:01,018['  ]| Preferring Brawny G*** to$4$ Spiny Lord;
99:01,019['  ]| He vowed to$9$ break this Triple League of Love,
99:01,020['  ]| And from their Breasts sweet Friendship to$9$ remove.
99:01,021['  ]| In$4$ a foul Day from bawdy Bath he flies,
99:01,022['  ]| To$9$ put in$4$ Act his hasted Enterprise.
99:01,023['  ]| In$4$ the Bower of Bliss, where sacred Ballocks dwells, 
99:01,024['  ]| There lives a Hag deep read in$4$ Charms and spells,
99:01,025['  ]| Philters and Potions, that$6#1$ by$4$ Magic skill
99:01,026['  ]| Can give an Eunuch Stones, and Cunt its fill;
99:01,027['  ]| Babes at her call fly from the breeding Womb,
99:01,028['  ]| With neighbour Turd in$4$ loathsome Jakes to$9$ roam;
99:01,029['  ]| As oft as Finger, Dildo, Pego, rape
99:01,030['  ]| The Virgin Hymen, she repairs the Gap:
99:01,031['  ]| Famed through the World for$4$ the Cunt-mending Trade:
99:01,032['  ]| To$4$ her he goes, to$9$ implore her mighty Aid;
99:01,033['  ]| By$4$ Men she is called the Mother of the Maids. 
99:01,034[B  ]| Hail, worthy Dame, 
99:01,034['  ]| (said he) 
99:01,034[B  ]| repleat with Grace,
99:01,035[B  ]| Mother of the Maids, Daughter of Noble Race!
99:01,036[B  ]| Whilst men of God to$4$ Betty B*** go,
99:01,037[B  ]| Whilst Prick and Pen with white and black does flow,
99:01,038[B  ]| My lasting Verse shall magnify thy Fame,
99:01,039[B  ]| And melting Tarse adore thy holy Name;
99:01,040[B  ]| Therefore, dear mother lend thine equal Ear
99:01,041[B  ]| To$4$ my Complaint, and favour my just Prayer.
99:01,042[B  ]| There is a Place, a*down a gloomy Vale,
99:01,043[B  ]| Where burthened Nature lays her nasty Tail; 
99:01,044[B  ]| Ten thousand Pilgrims thither do resort
99:01,045[B  ]| For$4$ Ease, Disease, for$4$ Lechery and Sport:
99:01,046[B  ]| Thither two Beldams and a jilting Wife
99:01,047[B  ]| Came to$9$ Swive off the tedious Hours of Life.
99:01,048[B  ]| I willing to$9$ contribute to$4$ their joy,
99:01,049[B  ]| Offered my Mite to$4$ the young insatiate Toy,
99:01,050[B  ]| Who$6#1$ banished Cuck, cause Cunt he could not cloy.
99:01,051[B  ]| Her upright Dam, Kill-Prick, the wise old Jew,
99:01,052[B  ]| Told me, I must twelve times her Womb bedew,
99:01,053[B  ]| Before her Child Suck-Prick should her Bottocks shew. 
99:01,054[B  ]| Resolved to$9$ win (like$4$ Hercules) the Prize,
99:01,055[B  ]| Twelve times I scoured the Kennel betwixt her thighs;
99:01,056[B  ]| The cheating Jilt, at the Twelfth, A dry bob cries.
99:01,057[B  ]| My Prick and I thus cross-bit in$4$ high Rage
99:01,058[B  ]| Appealed to$4$ the skilful Sticklers on$4$ the Stage;
99:01,059[B  ]| With that$6#2$ fair Tall-boy and bold Suck-Prick come
99:01,060[B  ]| To$9$ squeeze my Tarse and pass their final Doom,
99:01,061[B  ]| Saying, if one Priapus I could shew
99:01,062[B  ]| One holy Relick of kind pearly Dew,
99:01,063[B  ]| I the twelfth time in$4$ Kill-Prick's Arse did spew. 
99:01,064[B  ]| To$4$ their deciding Test I did submit,
99:01,065[B  ]| Priapus squeezed, a Snow-ball did emit:
99:01,066[B  ]| Yet these two partial Dames, A dry bob cry,
99:01,067[B  ]| Perform your bargain (Peer) or Frig and die.
99:01,068[B  ]| Thus was I rooked of twelve substantial Fucks,
99:01,069[B  ]| By$4$ these base stinking over itching Nocks.
99:01,070[B  ]| Your Aid, your Aid, dear Mother me inspire
99:01,071[B  ]| With apt Revenge to$9$ feed my raging Fire.
99:01,072[C  ]| The gracious Matron, smiling on$4$ him, said,
99:01,073[C  ]| Be it as thou desirest my dear loved Lad; 
99:01,074[C  ]| For$4$ this Abuse the Rump fed Runts shall mourn,
99:01,075[C  ]| Till slimy Cunt to$4$ grimy Arse-hole turn.
99:01,076['  ]| By$4$ her Cave's mouth a verdant Myrtle grows,
99:01,077['  ]| Bearing Love's Trophies on$4$ his sacred Boughs;
99:01,078['  ]| The Crowns of Kings were offered to$4$ this Shrine,
99:01,079['  ]| Dildoes and Merkins of the Royal Line;
99:01,080['  ]| Fair Ladies' Hearts with mitred Pricks transfixed,
99:01,081['  ]| In$4$ mystic manner make the Crucifix.
99:01,082['  ]| To$4$ the Tree she leads him, from a Bough pulls down,
99:01,083['  ]| A mighty Tool, a Dildo of Renown: 
99:01,084['  ]| A Dildo long and large, as Hector's Lance,
99:01,085['  ]| Inscribed, 9Honi 9Soit 9Qui 9Mal 9y' 9Pence.
99:01,086['  ]| Knight of the Garter made for$4$ his vast Deserts,
99:01,087['  ]| As modern Hero was for$4$ his monstrous Parts,
99:01,088[C  ]| This, Pious Son 
99:01,088['  ]| (said she) 
99:01,088[C  ]| Nail up$5$ in$4$ Box,
99:01,089[C  ]| By$4$ Carrier send it to$4$ these sault-burning Nocks,
99:01,090[C  ]| Directed thus: To$4$ the Lady most deserving,
99:01,091[C  ]| Who$6#1$ has made most Slaves, and kept most Pricks from starving.
99:01,092['  ]| Over-joyed with hoped Success, away he flies
99:01,093['  ]| To$4$ Bath disguised, to$9$ bear the welcome Prize: 
99:01,094['  ]| But when they saw the Image of Blest Man,
99:01,095['  ]| Who$6#2$ can express how fast, how swift they ran,
99:01,096['  ]| Each for$4$ herself so$5#1$ seized! No$2$ Dog at Deer,
99:01,097['  ]| Nor Hawk at Hern shewed such a swift Career;
99:01,098['  ]| At once they souse on$4$ the beloved Prey,
99:01,099['  ]| And sworn Friends to$9$ engage in$4$ mortal Fray.
99:01,100['  ]| Old Kill-Prick, dreadful to$4$ her Friends and Foes,
99:01,101['  ]| Like$4$ Luxemburgh in$4$ Back and Breast-plate shows.
99:01,102['  ]| Gigantick Tall-Boy, famed in$4$ the West
99:01,103['  ]| For$4$ Cornish-Hug, to$4$ the Fight herself addressed; 
99:01,104['  ]| Whilst the Child Suck-Prick hoped to$9$ steal away,
99:01,105['  ]| By$4$ Stratagem, the Glory of the Day.
99:01,106['  ]| But all in$4$ vain, Tall-Boy with one Hand held
99:01,107['  ]| Jove's Prize, which$6#1$ the other crafty Suck-Prick felled:
99:01,108['  ]| But Looks, nor Menaces, nor crashing Blow,
99:01,109['  ]| Could make stout Kick-Prick quit her loved Dildo:
99:01,110['  ]| Undaunted, she maintained a Cruel Fight,
99:01,111['  ]| For$4$ Conquest scratched and tore with all her might.
99:01,112['  ]| So$3$ have I seen a Crump-backed Crablouse stick
99:01,113['  ]| With fervent love to$9$ lick creating Prick; 
99:01,114['  ]| The more he pulls, the more the loving Wretch
99:01,115['  ]| Does strive to$9$ stay, and to$4$ each Hair does catch,
99:01,116['  ]| Till Murdering Man, enraged, from Ballock tears
99:01,117['  ]| The Nock-born Brat, and ends his hopeful Years.
99:01,118['  ]| So$3$ had it fared with Kill-Prick, had not Fate
99:01,119['  ]| Sent Man of God to$9$ end the Dire Debate.
99:01,120[D  ]| What Rage, what Fury 
99:01,120['  ]| (said he) 
99:01,120[D  ]| does ye stir,
99:01,121[D  ]| To$9$ shed the Blood of Saints in$4$ Cruel War?
99:01,122[D  ]| How will$1$ you make the Mother Church to$9$ Mourn,
99:01,123[D  ]| And to$4$ Fanatics be the Public Scorn? 
99:01,124[D  ]| For$4$ shame, Dear Souls, reserve your Noble Blood
99:01,125[D  ]| To$9$ spend with Man. Abashed the Warriors stood
99:01,126['  ]| To$9$ see the Holy Father in$4$ the Place;
99:01,127['  ]| But strait on$4$ the Matter putting a good Face,
99:01,128['  ]| Thus Kill-Prick spake:  
99:01,128[E  ]| To$4$ you, O Reverend Sir,
99:01,129[E  ]| The Justness of the Cause I will$1$ transfer;
99:01,130[E  ]| A Cause too great for$4$ Lay-men vile to$9$ try,
99:01,131[E  ]| Fit for$4$ Plus Ultra's deep Divinity;
99:01,132[E  ]| A cause for$4$ which$6#1$ Blest Saints above would Die!
99:01,133['  ]| The Modest Tall-Boy so$5#1$ devout appears, 
99:01,134['  ]| Though stealing Pricks, you would think she said her Prayers.
99:01,135['  ]| And though she had almost won the Bloody Field,
99:01,136['  ]| With Suck Prick (Babe of Grace) to$4$ this does yield.
99:01,137['  ]| The cause being stated, Holy Man does pray
99:01,138['  ]| For$4$ a Blessing on$4$ his Endeavours, then does say,
99:01,139[D  ]| Whereas, Sage Matrons, you do all agree,
99:01,140[D  ]| Your Case to$9$ yield to$4$ my Integrity,
99:01,141[D  ]| Fitter for$4$ General Council than weak me;
99:01,142[D  ]| Dildo is a lawful Tool, deny it who$6#1$ can,
99:01,143[D  ]| I will$1$ prove it is made for$4$ a meet help for$4$ Man; 
99:01,144[D  ]| As unto Rector Curate is assistant,
99:01,145[D  ]| So$3$ Dildo is to$4$ fallen Prick, when Cunt has pissed on$4$ it.
99:01,146[D  ]| But here is the Elect ordained for$4$ Propagation
99:01,147[D  ]| Who$6#1$ trusts in$4$ this, is blest in$4$ Generation:
99:01,148[D  ]| This has done more than Tunbridge, Bath, or Epsom,
99:01,149[D  ]| Though never so$5#1$ barren this is sure to$9$ help them.
99:01,150['  ]| Then pulling out the Rector of the Females,
99:01,151['  ]| Nine times he bathed him in$4$ their piping hot Tails:
99:01,152['  ]| Panting, quoth he, 
99:01,152[D  ]| Now Peace be on$4$ you all,
99:01,153[D  ]| When I am absent, then on$4$ Dildoe call; 
99:01,154['  ]| As those in$4$ Holy-Church to$4$ Image pray,
99:01,155['  ]| When Wonderworking Saint is out of the way.
99:01,156['  ]| Thus all well-pleased, to$4$ Church away they go,
99:01,157['  ]| To$9$ sing Te Deum for$4$ their dear Dildoe.