99:01,000['  ]| <Say, Heav'n-born Muse>
99:01,000['  ]| <From "Poems on Several Occasions", Antwerp, 1680?>
99:01,000['  ]| <Scolar Press, 1971>
99:01,000['  ]| <The Argument.>
99:01,001['  ]| How Tall-Boy, Kill-Prick, Suck-Prick did contend
99:01,002['  ]| For Bridegroom Dildo, Friend did fight with Friend;
99:01,003['  ]| But Man of God, by Lay-Men call'd Parson,
99:01,004['  ]| Contriv'd by turns, how each might rub her Arse on.
99:01,005['  ]| Say, Heav'n-born Muse, for only thou canst tell,
99:01,006['  ]| How discord Dire between two Widows fell;
99:01,007['  ]| What made the Fair One, and her well-shap'd Mother,
99:01,008['  ]| Duty forget, and pious Nature smother.
99:01,009['  ]| Who was most Modest, Virtuous, or Fair,
99:01,010['  ]| Was not the cause of contest, I dare swear.
99:01,100['  ]| Not Wit, nor Breeding, rais'd this Emulation;
99:01,011['  ]| Those things with them are Trifles out of fashion:
99:01,012['  ]| Great was the Strife rais'd up by envious Fate,
99:01,013['  ]| To ruin Pego's happy Reign and State. 
99:01,014['  ]| When R*** with evil Eye beheld
99:01,015['  ]| The Three dear Friends, his Heart with Rancour swell'd,
99:01,016['  ]| That in one House they were of one accord,
99:01,017['  ]| Wanton in Bed, and Riotous at Board,
99:01,018['  ]| Preferring Brawny G*** to Spiny Lord;
99:01,019['  ]| He vow'd to break this Triple League of Love,
99:01,020['  ]| And from their Breasts sweet Friendship to remove.
99:01,021['  ]| In a foul Day from bawdy Bath he flies,
99:01,022['  ]| To put in Act his hasted Enterprise.
99:01,023['  ]| I'th'Bow'r of Bliss, where sacred Ballocks dwells, 
99:01,024['  ]| There lives a Hag deep read in Charms and spells,
99:01,025['  ]| Philters and Potions, that by Magick skill
99:01,026['  ]| Can give an Eunuch Stones, and Cunt its fill;
99:01,027['  ]| Babes at her call fly from the breeding Womb,
99:01,028['  ]| With neighbour Turd in loathsome Jakes to roam;
99:01,029['  ]| As oft as Finger, Dildo, Pego, rape
99:01,030['  ]| The Virgin Hymen, she repairs the Gap:
99:01,031['  ]| Fam'd through the World for the Cunt-mending Trade:
99:01,032['  ]| To her he goes, t' implore her mighty Aid;
99:01,033['  ]| By Men she's call'd the Mother of the Maids.  
99:01,034['  ]| Hail, worthy Dame, (said he) repleat with Grace,
99:01,035['  ]| Mother o'th' Maids, Daughter of Noble Race!
99:01,036['  ]| Whilst men of God to Betty B*** go,
99:01,037['  ]| Whilst Prick and Pen with white an black do's flow,
99:01,038['  ]| My lasting Verse shall magnifie thy Fame,
99:01,039['  ]| And melting Tarse adore thy wholy Name;
99:01,040['  ]| Therefore, dear mother lend thine equal Ear
99:01,041['  ]| To my Complaint, and favour my just Pray'r.
99:01,042['  ]| There is a Place, a down a gloomy Vale,
99:01,043['  ]| Where burthen'd Nature lays her nasty Tail;  
99:01,044['  ]| Ten thousand Pilgrims thither do resort
99:01,045['  ]| For Ease, Disease, for Letchery and Sport:
99:01,046['  ]| Thither two Beldams and a jilting Wife
99:01,047['  ]| Came to Swive of the tedious Hours of Life.
99:01,048['  ]| I willing to contribute to their joy,
99:01,049['  ]| Offer'd my Mite to th' young insatiate Toy,
99:01,050['  ]| Who banish'd Cuck, cause Cunt he could not cloy.
99:01,051['  ]| Her upright Dam, Kill-Prick, the wise old Jew,
99:01,052['  ]| Told me, I must twelve times her Womb bedew,
99:01,053['  ]| E're her Child Suck-Prick should her Bottocks shew.  
99:01,054['  ]| Resolv'd to win (like Hercules) the Prize,
99:01,055['  ]| Twelve times I scour'd the Kennel 'twixt her thighs;
99:01,056['  ]| The cheating Jilt, at the Twelfth, A dry bob cries.
99:01,057['  ]| My Prick and I thus cross-bit in high Rage
99:01,058['  ]| Appeal'd to the skilful Sticklers on the Stage;
99:01,059['  ]| With that fair Tall-boy and bold Suck-Prick come
99:01,060['  ]| To squeese my Tarse and pass their final Doom,
99:01,061['  ]| Saying, if one Priapus I could shew
99:01,062['  ]| One holy Relick of kind pearly Dew,
99:01,063['  ]| I the twelfth time in Kill-Prick's Arse did spew.  
99:01,064['  ]| To their deciding Test I did submit,
99:01,065['  ]| Priapus squeez'd, a Snow-ball did emit:
99:01,066['  ]| Yet these two partial Dames, A dry-bob cry,
99:01,067['  ]| Perform your bargain (Peer) or Frig and die.
99:01,068['  ]| Thus was I rook'd of twelve substantial Fucks,
99:01,069['  ]| By these base stinking over itching Nocks.
99:01,070['  ]| Your Aid, your Aid, dear Mother me inspire
99:01,071['  ]| With apt Revenge to feed my raging Fire.
99:01,072['  ]| The gracious Matron, smiling on him, said,
99:01,073['  ]| Be it as thou desir'st my dear lov'd Lad;  
99:01,074['  ]| For this Abuse the Rump fed Runts shall mourn,
99:01,075['  ]| Till slimy Cunt to grimy Arse-hole turn.
99:01,076['  ]| By her Caves mouth a verdant Myrtle grows,
99:01,077['  ]| Bearing Loves Trophies on his sacred Boughs;
99:01,078['  ]| The Crowns of Kings were offer'd to this Shrine,
99:01,079['  ]| Dildoes and Merkins of the Royal Line;
99:01,080['  ]| Fair Ladies Hearts with mitred Pricks transfixt,
99:01,081['  ]| In mystic manner make the Crucifix.
99:01,082['  ]| To the Tree she leads him, from a Bough pulls down,
99:01,083['  ]| A mighty Tool, a Dildoe of Renown:  
99:01,084['  ]| A Dildoe long and large, as Hector's Lance,
99:01,085['  ]| Inscribed, 9Honi 9Soit 9Qui 9Mal 9y' 9Pence.
99:01,086['  ]| Knight of the Garter made for's vast Deserts,
99:01,087['  ]| As modern Heroe was for's monstrous Parts,
99:01,088['  ]| This, Pious Son (said she) Nail up in Box,
99:01,089['  ]| By Carrier send it to these sault-burning Nocks,
99:01,090['  ]| Directed thus: To the Lady most deserving,
99:01,091['  ]| Who's made most Slaves, and kept most Pricks from starving.
99:01,092['  ]| O're-joy'd with hop'd Success, away he flies
99:01,093['  ]| To Bath disguis'd, to bear the welcome Prize:  
99:01,094['  ]| But when they saw the Image of Blest Man,
99:01,095['  ]| Who can express how fast, how swift they ran,
99:01,096['  ]| Each for herself so seized! No Dog at Deer,
99:01,097['  ]| Nor Hawk at Hern shew'd such a swift Career;
99:01,098['  ]| At once they souse on the beloved Prey,
99:01,099['  ]| And sworn Friends to engage in mortal Fray.
99:01,100['  ]| Old Kill-Prick, dreadful to her Friends and Foes,
99:01,101['  ]| Like Luxemburgh in Back and Breast-plate shows.
99:01,102['  ]| Gigantick Tall-Boy, famed in the West
99:01,103['  ]| For Cornish-Hugg, to the Fight her self addrest;  
99:01,104['  ]| Whilst the Child Suck-Prick hop'd to steal away,
99:01,105['  ]| By Stratagem, the Glory of the Day.
99:01,106['  ]| But all in vain, Tall-Boy with one Hand held
99:01,107['  ]| Jov's Prize, which th' other crafty Suck-Prick fell'd:
99:01,108['  ]| But Looks, nor Menaces, nor crashing Blow,
99:01,109['  ]| Cou'd make stout Kick-Prick quit her lov'd Dildoe:
99:01,110['  ]| Undaunted, she maintain'd a Cruel Fight,
99:01,111['  ]| For Conquest scratcht and tore with all her might.
99:01,112['  ]| So have I seen a Crump-back'd Crablouse stick
99:01,113['  ]| With fervent love to lick creating Prick;  
99:01,114['  ]| The more he pulls, the more the loving Wretch
99:01,115['  ]| Do's strive to stay, and to each Hair do's catch,
99:01,116['  ]| Till Murd'ring Man, enrag'd, from Ballock tears
99:01,117['  ]| The Nock-born Brat, and ends his hopeful Years.
99:01,118['  ]| So had it fair'd with Kill-Prick, had not Fate
99:01,119['  ]| Sent Man of God to end the Dire Debate.
99:01,120['  ]| What Rage, what Fury (said he) do's ye stir,
99:01,121['  ]| To shed the Blood of Saints in Cruel War?
99:01,122['  ]| How will you make the Mother Church to Mourn,
99:01,123['  ]| And to Fanaticks be the Publick Scorn?  
99:01,124['  ]| For shame, Dear Souls, reserve your Noble Blood
99:01,125['  ]| To spend with Man. Abasht the Warriors stood
99:01,126['  ]| To see the Holy Father in the Place;
99:01,127['  ]| But strait on the Matter putting a good Face,
99:01,128['  ]| Thus Kill-Prick spake:  To you, O Reverend Sir,
99:01,129['  ]| The Justness of the Cause I will transfer;
99:01,130['  ]| A Cause to great for Lay-men vile to try,
99:01,131['  ]| Fit for Plus Ultra's deep Divinity;
99:01,132['  ]| A cause for which Blest Saints above would Die!
99:01,133['  ]| The Modest Tall-Boy so devout appears,  
99:01,134['  ]| Though stealing Pricks, you'd think she said her Pray's.
99:01,135['  ]| And though sh' had almost won the Bloody Field,
99:01,136['  ]| With Suck Prick) Babe of Grace) to this do's yield.
99:01,137['  ]| The cause being stated, Holy Man do's pray
99:01,138['  ]| For a Blessing on's Endeavours, then do's say,
99:01,139['  ]| Whereas, Sage Matrons, you do all agree,
99:01,140['  ]| Your Case to yield to my Integrity,
99:01,141['  ]| Fitter for General Council than weak me;
99:01,142['  ]| Dildo's a lawful Tool, deny't who can,
99:01,143['  ]| I'll prove 'tis made for a meet help for Man;  
99:01,144['  ]| As unto Rector Curate is assistant,
99:01,145['  ]| So Dildo's to fall'n Prick, when Cunt has pist on't.
99:01,146['  ]| But here's the Elect ordain'd for Propagation
99:01,147['  ]| Who trusts in this, is blest in Generation:
99:01,148['  ]| This has done more than Tunbridge, Bath, or Epsom,
99:01,149['  ]| Though ne're so barren this is sure to help 'm.
99:01,150['  ]| Then pulling out the Rector of the Females,
99:01,151['  ]| Nine times he bath'd him in their piping hot Tails:
99:01,152['  ]| Panting, quoth he, Now Peace be on you all,
99:01,153['  ]| When I am absent, then on Dildoe call;  
99:01,154['  ]| As those in Holy-Church to Image pray,
99:01,155['  ]| When Wonderworking Saint is ou o' th' way.
99:01,156['  ]| Thus all well-pleas'd, to Church away they go,
99:01,157['  ]| To sing Te Deum for their dear Dildoe.