821:1,0000['  ]| <The First Part> 
821:1,0000['  ]| <CANTO I> 
821:1,0000['  ]| <THE ARGUMENT> 
821:1,0000['  ]| <\Sir*Hudibras his passing worth,\> 
821:1,0000['  ]| <\The manner how he sallied forth,\> 
821:1,0000['  ]| <\His arms and equipage are shown,\> 
821:1,0000['  ]| <\His horse's virtues and his own.\> 
821:1,0000['  ]| <\The adventure of the bear and fiddle\> 
821:1,0000['  ]| <\Is sung but breaks off in the middle.\> 
821:1,0001['  ]| When civil fury first grew high 
821:1,0002['  ]| And men fell out they knew not why, 
821:1,0003['  ]| When hard words, jealousies and fears 
821:1,0004['  ]| Set folks together by the ears 
821:1,0005['  ]| And made them fight like mad or drunk 
821:1,0006['  ]| For Dame*Religion as for punk, 
821:1,0007['  ]| Whose honesty they all durst swear for, 
821:1,0008['  ]| Though not a man of them knew wherefore, 
821:1,0009['  ]| When gospel-trumpeter, surrounded 
821:1,0010['  ]| With long-eared rout, to battle sounded 
821:1,0011['  ]| And pulpit, drum ecclesiastic, 
821:1,0012['  ]| Was beat with fist instead of a stick, 
821:1,0013['  ]| Then did Sir*Knight abandon dwelling 
821:1,0014['  ]| And out he rode a-colonelling.  
821:1,0015['  ]| A wight he was whose very sight would 
821:1,0016['  ]| Entitle him Mirror of Knighthood, 
821:1,0017['  ]| That never bent his stubborn knee 
821:1,0018['  ]| To anything but chivalry, 
821:1,0019['  ]| Nor put up blow but that which laid 
821:1,0020['  ]| Right worshipful on shoulder-blade; 
821:1,0021['  ]| Chief of domestic knights and errant 
821:1,0022['  ]| Either for chartel or for warrant, 
821:1,0023['  ]| Great on the bench, great in the saddle, 
821:1,0024['  ]| That could as well bind o'er as swaddle.  
821:1,0025['  ]| Mighty he was at both of these 
821:1,0026['  ]| And styled of war as well as peace 
821:1,0027['  ]| (So some rats of amphibious nature 
821:1,0028['  ]| Are either for the land or water).  
821:1,0029['  ]| But here our authors make a doubt 
821:1,0030['  ]| Whether he were more wise or stout.  
821:1,0031['  ]| Some hold the one and some the other, 
821:1,0032['  ]| But, howsoe'er they make a pother, 
821:1,0033['  ]| The difference was so small, his brain 
821:1,0034['  ]| Outweighed his rage but half a grain, 
821:1,0035['  ]| Which made some take him for a tool 
821:1,0036['  ]| That knaves do work with, called a fool, 
821:1,0037['  ]| And offer to lay wagers that, 
821:1,0038['  ]| As Montaigne, playing with his cat, 
821:1,0039['  ]| Complains she thought him but an ass, 
821:1,0040['  ]| Much more she would Sir*Hudibras 
821:1,0041['  ]| (For that's the name our valiant knight 
821:1,0042['  ]| To all his challenges did write), 
821:1,0043['  ]| But they're mistaken very much:  
821:1,0044['  ]| 'Tis plain enough he was no such.  
821:1,0045['  ]| We grant, although he had much wit, 
821:1,0046['  ]| H'was very shy of using it, 
821:1,0047['  ]| As being loath to wear it out, 
821:1,0048['  ]| And therefore bore it not about 
821:1,0049['  ]| Unless on holy days or so, 
821:1,0050['  ]| As men their best apparel do.  
821:1,0051['  ]| Beside 'tis known he could speak Greek 
821:1,0052['  ]| As naturally as pigs squeak; 
821:1,0053['  ]| That Latin was no more difficile 
821:1,0054['  ]| Than to a blackbird 'tis to whistle.  
821:1,0055['  ]| Being rich in both, he never scanted 
821:1,0056['  ]| His bounty unto such as wanted, 
821:1,0057['  ]| But much of either would afford 
821:1,0058['  ]| To many that had not one word.  
821:1,0059['  ]| For Hebrew roots, although they're found 
821:1,0060['  ]| To flourish most in barren ground, 
821:1,0061['  ]| He had such plenty as sufficed 
821:1,0062['  ]| To make some think him circumcised; 
821:1,0063['  ]| And truly so, perhaps, he was:  
821:1,0064['  ]| 'Tis many a pious Christian's case.  
821:1,0065['  ]| He was in logic a great critic, 
821:1,0066['  ]| Profoundly skilled in analytic.  
821:1,0067['  ]| He could distinguish and divide 
821:1,0068['  ]| A hair 'twixt south and south-west side, 
821:1,0069['  ]| On either which he would dispute, 
821:1,0070['  ]| Confute, change hands and still confute.  
821:1,0071['  ]| He'd undertake to prove by force 
821:1,0072['  ]| Of argument a man's no horse; 
821:1,0073['  ]| He'd prove a buzzard is no fowl, 
821:1,0074['  ]| And that a lord may be an owl, 
821:1,0075['  ]| A calf an alderman, a goose a justice, 
821:1,0076['  ]| And rooks committee-men and trustees.  
821:1,0077['  ]| He'd run in debt by disputation 
821:1,0078['  ]| And pay with ratiocination.  
821:1,0079['  ]| All this by syllogism, true 
821:1,0080['  ]| In mood and figure, he would do.  
821:1,0081['  ]| For rhetoric, he could not ope 
821:1,0082['  ]| His mouth but out there flew a trope, 
821:1,0083['  ]| And when he happened to break off 
821:1,0084['  ]| I'th' middle of his speech, or cough, 
821:1,0085['  ]| He'd hard words ready to show why, 
821:1,0086['  ]| And tell what rules he did it by, 
821:1,0087['  ]| Else when with greatest art he spoke 
821:1,0088['  ]| You'd think he talked like other folk; 
821:1,0089['  ]| For all a rhetorician's rules 
821:1,0090['  ]| Teach nothing but to name his tools.  
821:1,0091['  ]| His ordinary rate of speech 
821:1,0092['  ]| In loftiness of sound was rich, 
821:1,0093['  ]| A Babylonish dialect 
821:1,0094['  ]| Which learned pedants much affect.  
821:1,0095['  ]| It was a particoloured dress 
821:1,0096['  ]| Of patched and piebald languages; 
821:1,0097['  ]| 'Twas English cut on Greek and Latin, 
821:1,0098['  ]| Like fustian heretofore on satin.  
821:1,0099['  ]| It had an odd, promiscuous tone, 
821:1,0100['  ]| As if he'd talked three parts in one, 
821:1,0101['  ]| Which made some think, when he did gabble 
821:1,0102['  ]| They'd heard three labourers of Babel, 
821:1,0103['  ]| Or Cerberus himself pronounce 
821:1,0104['  ]| A leash of languages at once.  
821:1,0105['  ]| This he as volubly would vent 
821:1,0106['  ]| As if his stock would ne'er be spent, 
821:1,0107['  ]| And truly to support that charge 
821:1,0108['  ]| He had supplies as vast and large; 
821:1,0109['  ]| For he could coin or counterfeit 
821:1,0110['  ]| New words with little or no wit; 
821:1,0111['  ]| Words so debased and hard, no stone 
821:1,0112['  ]| Was hard enough to touch them on, 
821:1,0113['  ]| And when with hasty noise he spoke 'em 
821:1,0114['  ]| The ignorant for current took 'em; 
821:1,0115['  ]| That had the orator, who once 
821:1,0116['  ]| Did fill his mouth with pebble stones 
821:1,0117['  ]| When he harangued, but known his phrase 
821:1,0118['  ]| He would have used no other ways.  
821:1,0119['  ]| In mathematics he was greater 
821:1,0120['  ]| Than Tycho*Brahe or Erra*Pater; 
821:1,0121['  ]| For he by geometric scale 
821:1,0122['  ]| Could take the size of pots of ale, 
821:1,0123['  ]| Resolve by sines and tangents straight 
821:1,0124['  ]| If bread or butter wanted weight, 
821:1,0125['  ]| And wisely tell what hour o'th' day 
821:1,0126['  ]| The clock does strike by algebra.  
821:1,0127['  ]| Beside he was a shrewd philosopher 
821:1,0128['  ]| And had read every text and gloss over.  
821:1,0129['  ]| What e'er the crabbed'st author hath 
821:1,0130['  ]| He understood b'implicit faith; 
821:1,0131['  ]| What ever sceptic could inquere for 
821:1,0132['  ]| For every why he had a wherefore; 
821:1,0133['  ]| Knew more than forty of them do, 
821:1,0134['  ]| As far as words and terms could go.  
821:1,0135['  ]| All which he understood by rote 
821:1,0136['  ]| And, as occasion served, would quote, 
821:1,0137['  ]| No matter whether right or wrong; 
821:1,0138['  ]| They might be either said or sung.  
821:1,0139['  ]| His notions fitted things so well 
821:1,0140['  ]| That which was which he could not tell, 
821:1,0141['  ]| But oftentimes mistook the one 
821:1,0142['  ]| For th'other, as great clerks have done.  
821:1,0143['  ]| He could reduce all things to acts 
821:1,0144['  ]| And knew their natures by abstracts, 
821:1,0145['  ]| Where entity and quiddity, 
821:1,0146['  ]| The ghosts of defunct bodies, fly; 
821:1,0147['  ]| Where truth in person does appear, 
821:1,0148['  ]| Like words congealed in northern air.  
821:1,0149['  ]| He knew what's what, and that's as high 
821:1,0150['  ]| As metaphysic wit can fly.  
821:1,0151['  ]| In school divinity as able 
821:1,0152['  ]| As he that hight irrefragable; 
821:1,0153['  ]| Profound in all the nominal 
821:1,0154['  ]| And real ways beyond them all, 
821:1,0155['  ]| And with as delicate a hand 
821:1,0156['  ]| Could twist as tough a rope of sand, 
821:1,0157['  ]| And weave fine cobwebs, fit for skull 
821:1,0158['  ]| That's empty when the moon is full, 
821:1,0159['  ]| Such as take lodgings in a head 
821:1,0160['  ]| That's to be let unfurnished.  
821:1,0161['  ]| He could raise scruples dark and nice 
821:1,0162['  ]| And after solve 'em in a trice; 
821:1,0163['  ]| As if divinity had catched 
821:1,0164['  ]| The itch, of purpose to be scratched, 
821:1,0165['  ]| Or, like a mountebank, did wound 
821:1,0166['  ]| And stab herself with doubts profound 
821:1,0167['  ]| Only to show with how small pain 
821:1,0168['  ]| The sores of faith are cured again; 
821:1,0169['  ]| Although by woeful proof we find 
821:1,0170['  ]| They always leave a scar behind.  
821:1,0171['  ]| He knew the seat of paradise, 
821:1,0172['  ]| Could tell in what degree it lies, 
821:1,0173['  ]| And, as he was disposed, could prove it 
821:1,0174['  ]| Below the moon or else above it; 
821:1,0175['  ]| What Adam dreamt of when his bride 
821:1,0176['  ]| Came from her closet in his side; 
821:1,0177['  ]| Whether the devil tempted her 
821:1,0178['  ]| By a High Dutch interpreter; 
821:1,0179['  ]| If either of them had a navel; 
821:1,0180['  ]| Who first made music malleable; 
821:1,0181['  ]| Whether the serpent at the fall 
821:1,0182['  ]| Had cloven feet, or none at all.  
821:1,0183['  ]| All this, without a gloss or comment, 
821:1,0184['  ]| He would unriddle in a moment 
821:1,0185['  ]| In proper terms, such as men smatter 
821:1,0186['  ]| When they throw out and miss the matter.  
821:1,0187['  ]| For his religion, it was fit 
821:1,0188['  ]| To match his learning and his wit:  
821:1,0189['  ]| 'Twas Presbyterian true blue, 
821:1,0190['  ]| For he was of that stubborn crew 
821:1,0191['  ]| Of errant saints whom all men grant 
821:1,0192['  ]| To be the true church militant, 
821:1,0193['  ]| Such as do build their faith upon 
821:1,0194['  ]| The holy text of pike and gun, 
821:1,0195['  ]| Decide all controversies by 
821:1,0196['  ]| Infallible artillery, 
821:1,0197['  ]| And prove their doctrine orthodox 
821:1,0198['  ]| By apostolic blows and knocks; 
821:1,0199['  ]| Call fire and sword and desolation 
821:1,0200['  ]| A ""godly thorough reformation"" 
821:1,0201['  ]| Which always must be carried on 
821:1,0202['  ]| And still be doing, never done, 
821:1,0203['  ]| As if religion were intended 
821:1,0204['  ]| For nothing else but to be mended.  
821:1,0205['  ]| A sect whose chief devotion lies 
821:1,0206['  ]| In odd, perverse antipathies; 
821:1,0207['  ]| In falling out with that or this, 
821:1,0208['  ]| And finding somewhat still amiss; 
821:1,0209['  ]| More peevish, cross and splenetic 
821:1,0210['  ]| Than dog distract or monkey sick; 
821:1,0211['  ]| That with more care keep holy day 
821:1,0212['  ]| The wrong, than others the right way; 
821:1,0213['  ]| Compound for sins they are inclined to 
821:1,0214['  ]| By damning those they have no mind to; 
821:1,0215['  ]| Still so perverse and opposite, 
821:1,0216['  ]| As if they worshipped God for spite.  
821:1,0217['  ]| The self-same thing they will abhor 
821:1,0218['  ]| One way, and long another for.  
821:1,0219['  ]| Free will they one way disavow, 
821:1,0220['  ]| Another, nothing else allow.  
821:1,0221['  ]| All piety consists therein 
821:1,0222['  ]| In them, in other men all sin.  
821:1,0223['  ]| Rather than rail, they will defy 
821:1,0224['  ]| That which they love most tenderly, 
821:1,0225['  ]| Quarrel with minced pies, and disparage 
821:1,0226['  ]| Their best and dearest friend plum-porridge; 
821:1,0227['  ]| Fat pig and goose itself oppose, 
821:1,0228['  ]| And blaspheme custard through the nose.  
821:1,0229['  ]| Th'apostles of this fierce religion, 
821:1,0230['  ]| Like Mahomet's, were ass and widgeon, 
821:1,0231['  ]| To whom our knight, by fast instinct 
821:1,0232['  ]| Of wit and temper, was so linked, 
821:1,0233['  ]| As if hypocrisy and nonsense 
821:1,0234['  ]| Had got th'advowson of his conscience.  
821:1,0235['  ]| Thus was he gifted and accoutred, 
821:1,0236['  ]| We mean on the inside, not the outward:  
821:1,0237['  ]| That next of all we shall discuss.  
821:1,0238['  ]| Then listen, sirs, it followeth thus:  
821:1,0239['  ]| His tawny bear was th'equal grace 
821:1,0240['  ]| Both of his wisdom and his face; 
821:1,0241['  ]| In cut and dye so like a tile, 
821:1,0242['  ]| A sudden view it would beguile.  
821:1,0243['  ]| The upper part thereof was whey, 
821:1,0244['  ]| The nether orange mixed with grey.  
821:1,0245['  ]| This hairy meteor did denounce 
821:1,0246['  ]| The fall of sceptres and of crowns; 
821:1,0247['  ]| With grizzly type did represent 
821:1,0248['  ]| Declining age of government, 
821:1,0249['  ]| And tell with hieroglyphic spade 
821:1,0250['  ]| Its own grave and the state's were made.  
821:1,0251['  ]| Like Samson's heart-breakers, it grew 
821:1,0252['  ]| In time to make a nation rue, 
821:1,0253['  ]| Though it contributed its own fall 
821:1,0254['  ]| To wait upon the public downfall.  
821:1,0255['  ]| It was canonic, and did grow 
821:1,0256['  ]| In holy orders by strict vow; 
821:1,0257['  ]| Of rule as sullen and severe 
821:1,0258['  ]| As that of rigid cordelier.  
821:1,0259['  ]| 'Twas bound to suffer persecution 
821:1,0260['  ]| And martyrdom with resolution; 
821:1,0261['  ]| T'oppose itself against the hate 
821:1,0262['  ]| And vengeance of th'incensed state, 
821:1,0263['  ]| In whose defiance it was worn, 
821:1,0264['  ]| Still ready to be pulled and torn, 
821:1,0265['  ]| With red-hot irons to be tortured, 
821:1,0266['  ]| Reviled and spit upon and martyred.  
821:1,0267['  ]| Maugre all which, 'twas to stand fast 
821:1,0268['  ]| As long as monarchy should last, 
821:1,0269['  ]| But when the state should hap to reel, 
821:1,0270['  ]| 'Twas to submit to fatal steel, 
821:1,0271['  ]| And fall, as it were consecrate 
821:1,0272['  ]| A sacrifice to fall of state, 
821:1,0273['  ]| Whose thread of life the fatal sisters 
821:1,0274['  ]| Did twist together with its whiskers, 
821:1,0275['  ]| And twine so close that time should never, 
821:1,0276['  ]| In life or death, their fortunes sever, 
821:1,0277['  ]| But with his rusty sickle mow 
821:1,0278['  ]| Both down together at a blow.  
821:1,0279['  ]| So learned Taliacotius, from 
821:1,0280['  ]| The brawny part of porter's bum, 
821:1,0281['  ]| Cut supplemental noses which 
821:1,0282['  ]| Would last as long as parent breech, 
821:1,0283['  ]| But when the date of nock was out, 
821:1,0284['  ]| Off dropped the sympathetic snout.  
821:1,0285['  ]| His back, or rather burthen, showed 
821:1,0286['  ]| As if it stooped with its own load; 
821:1,0287['  ]| For, as A*Eneas bore his sire 
821:1,0288['  ]| Upon his shoulders through the fire, 
821:1,0289['  ]| Our knight did bear no less a pack 
821:1,0290['  ]| Of his own buttocks on his back, 
821:1,0291['  ]| Which now had almost got the upper 
821:1,0292['  ]| Hand of his head, for want of crupper.  
821:1,0293['  ]| To poise this equally, he bore 
821:1,0294['  ]| A paunch of the same bulk before, 
821:1,0295['  ]| Which still he had a special care 
821:1,0296['  ]| To keep well crammed with thrifty fare, 
821:1,0297['  ]| As white-pot, butter-milk and curds, 
821:1,0298['  ]| Such as a country house affords, 
821:1,0299['  ]| With other victual, which anon 
821:1,0300['  ]| We further shall dilate upon 
821:1,0301['  ]| When of his hose we come to treat, 
821:1,0302['  ]| The cupboard where he kept his meat.  
821:1,0303['  ]| His doublet was of sturdy buff, 
821:1,0304['  ]| And though not sword, yet cudgel-proof, 
821:1,0305['  ]| Whereby 'twas fitter for his use 
821:1,0306['  ]| That feared no blows but such as bruise.  
821:1,0307['  ]| His breeches were of rugged woollen 
821:1,0308['  ]| And had been at the Siege of Bullen, 
821:1,0309['  ]| The old King*Harry so well known, 
821:1,0310['  ]| Some writers held they were his own.  
821:1,0311['  ]| Through they were lined with many a piece 
821:1,0312['  ]| Of ammuniton-bread and cheese, 
821:1,0313['  ]| And fat black-puddings, proper food 
821:1,0314['  ]| For warriors that delight in blood; 
821:1,0315['  ]| For, as we said, he always chose 
821:1,0316['  ]| To carry victual in his hose.  
821:1,0317['  ]| That often tempted rats and mice 
821:1,0318['  ]| The ammunition to surprise, 
821:1,0319['  ]| And, when he put a hand but in 
821:1,0320['  ]| The one or th'other magazine, 
821:1,0321['  ]| They stoutly in defence on't stood 
821:1,0322['  ]| And from the wounded foe drew blood, 
821:1,0323['  ]| And, till th'were stormed, and beaten out, 
821:1,0324['  ]| Ne'er left the fortified redoubt.  
821:1,0325['  ]| And though knights errant, as some think, 
821:1,0326['  ]| Of old did neither eat nor drink, 
821:1,0327['  ]| Because, when thorough deserts vast 
821:1,0328['  ]| And regions desolate they passed, 
821:1,0329['  ]| Where belly-timber above ground 
821:1,0330['  ]| Or under was not to be found, 
821:1,0331['  ]| Unless they gazed, there's not one word 
821:1,0332['  ]| Of their provision on record, 
821:1,0333['  ]| Which made some confidently write 
821:1,0334['  ]| They had no stomachs but to fight, 
821:1,0335['  ]| 'Tis false:  for Arthur wore in hall 
821:1,0336['  ]| Round table, like a farthingal, 
821:1,0337['  ]| On which, with shirt pulled out behind 
821:1,0338['  ]| And eke before, his good knights dined; 
821:1,0339['  ]| Though 'twas no table, some suppose, 
821:1,0340['  ]| But a huge pair of round trunk-hose, 
821:1,0341['  ]| In which he carried as much meat 
821:1,0342['  ]| As he and all his knights could eat, 
821:1,0343['  ]| When, laying by their swords and truncheons, 
821:1,0344['  ]| They took their breakfasts or their nuncheons.  
821:1,0345['  ]| But let that pass at present, lest 
821:1,0346['  ]| We should forget where we digressed, 
821:1,0347['  ]| As learned authors use, to whom 
821:1,0348['  ]| We leave it, and to th'purpose come.  
821:1,0349['  ]| His puissant sword unto his side 
821:1,0350['  ]| Near his undaunted heart was tied 
821:1,0351['  ]| With basket-hilt that would hold broth, 
821:1,0352['  ]| And serve for fight and dinner both.  
821:1,0353['  ]| In it he melted lead for bullets, 
821:1,0354['  ]| To shoot at foes, and sometimes pullets, 
821:1,0355['  ]| To whom he bore so fell a grutch, 
821:1,0356['  ]| He ne'er gave quarter t'any such.  
821:1,0357['  ]| The trenchant blade, Toledo trusty, 
821:1,0358['  ]| For want of fighting was grown rusty 
821:1,0359['  ]| And ate into itself, for lack 
821:1,0360['  ]| Of somebody to hew and hack.  
821:1,0361['  ]| The peaceful scabbard where it dwelt 
821:1,0362['  ]| The rancour of its edge had felt; 
821:1,0363['  ]| For of the lower end two handful 
821:1,0364['  ]| It had devoured, 'twas so manful, 
821:1,0365['  ]| And so much scorned to lurk in case 
821:1,0366['  ]| As if it durst not show its face.  
821:1,0367['  ]| In many desperate attempts 
821:1,0368['  ]| Of warrants, exigents, contempts, 
821:1,0369['  ]| It had appeared with courage bolder 
821:1,0370['  ]| Than sergeant*Bum invading shoulder.  
821:1,0371['  ]| Oft had it ta'en possession, 
821:1,0372['  ]| And prisoners too, or made them run.  
821:1,0373['  ]| This sword a dagger had his page, 
821:1,0374['  ]| That was but little for his age, 
821:1,0375['  ]| And therefore waited on him so 
821:1,0376['  ]| As dwarfs upon knights errant do.  
821:1,0377['  ]| It was a serviceable dudgeon 
821:1,0378['  ]| Either for fighting or for drudging.  
821:1,0379['  ]| When it had stabbed, or broke a head 
821:1,0380['  ]| It would scrape trenchers or chip bread, 
821:1,0381['  ]| Toast cheese or bacon, though it were 
821:1,0382['  ]| To bait a mouse trap, 'twould not care.  
821:1,0383['  ]| 'Twould make clean shoes, and in the earth 
821:1,0384['  ]| Set leeks and onions, and so forth 
821:1,0385['  ]| It had been prentice to a brewer, 
821:1,0386['  ]| Where this and more it did endure, 
821:1,0387['  ]| But left the trade, as many more 
821:1,0388['  ]| Have lately done on the same score.  
821:1,0389['  ]| In th'holsters at his saddle-bow 
821:1,0390['  ]| Two aged pistols he did stow 
821:1,0391['  ]| Among the surplus of such meat 
821:1,0392['  ]| As in his hose he could not get.  
821:1,0393['  ]| They were upon hard duty still, 
821:1,0394['  ]| And every night stood sentinel 
821:1,0395['  ]| To guard the magazine i'th' hose 
821:1,0396['  ]| From two-legged and from four-legged foes.  
821:1,0397['  ]| Thus clad and fortified, Sir*Knight 
821:1,0398['  ]| From peaceful home set forth to fight 
821:1,0399['  ]| But first with nimble, active force 
821:1,0400['  ]| He got on th'outside of his horse; 
821:1,0401['  ]| For having but one stirrup, tied 
821:1,0402['  ]| T'his saddle, on the further side, 
821:1,0403['  ]| It was so short he'd much ado 
821:1,0404['  ]| To reach it with his desperate toe.  
821:1,0405['  ]| But after many strains and heaves 
821:1,0406['  ]| He got up to the saddle eaves, 
821:1,0407['  ]| From whence he vaulted into th'seat 
821:1,0408['  ]| With so much vigour, strength and heat 
821:1,0409['  ]| That he had almost tumbled over 
821:1,0410['  ]| With his own weight, but did recover 
821:1,0411['  ]| By laying  hold on tail and mane 
821:1,0412['  ]| Which oft he used instead of rein.  
821:1,0413['  ]| But now we talk of mounting steed, 
821:1,0414['  ]| Before we further do proceed 
821:1,0415['  ]| It doth behove us to say something 
821:1,0416['  ]| Of that which bore our valiant bumkin.  
821:1,0417['  ]| The beast was sturdy, large and tall, 
821:1,0418['  ]| With mouth of meal and eyes of wall 
821:1,0419['  ]| (I would say eye, for he'd but one, 
821:1,0420['  ]| As most agree, though some say none).  
821:1,0421['  ]| He was well stayed and in his gait 
821:1,0422['  ]| Preserved a grave, majestic state.  
821:1,0423['  ]| At spur or switch no more he skipped 
821:1,0424['  ]| Or mended pace than Spaniard whipped, 
821:1,0425['  ]| And yet so fiery, he would bound 
821:1,0426['  ]| As if he grieved to touch the ground, 
821:1,0427['  ]| That Caesar's horse who, as fame goes, 
821:1,0428['  ]| Had corns upon his feet and toes, 
821:1,0429['  ]| Was not by half so tender hoofed 
821:1,0430['  ]| Nor trod upon the ground so soft.  
821:1,0431['  ]| And, as that beast would kneel and stoop 
821:1,0432['  ]| (Some write) to take his rider up, 
821:1,0433['  ]| So Hudibras his ('tis well known) 
821:1,0434['  ]| Would often do to set him down.  
821:1,0435['  ]| We shall not need to say what lack 
821:1,0436['  ]| Of leather was upon his back, 
821:1,0437['  ]| For that was hidden under pad, 
821:1,0438['  ]| And breech of knight galled full as bad.  
821:1,0439['  ]| His strutting ribs on both sides showed, 
821:1,0440['  ]| Like furrows he himself had ploughed; 
821:1,0441['  ]| For underneath the skirt of panel, 
821:1,0442['  ]| 'Twixt every two there was a channel.  
821:1,0443['  ]| His draggling tail hung in the dirt, 
821:1,0444['  ]| Which on his rider he would flirt 
821:1,0445['  ]| Still as his tender side he pricked 
821:1,0446['  ]| With armed heel, or with unarmed kicked; 
821:1,0447['  ]| For Hudibras wore but one spur, 
821:1,0448['  ]| As wisely knowing, could he stir 
821:1,0449['  ]| To active trot one side of's horse, 
821:1,0450['  ]| The other would not hand an arse.  
821:1,0451['  ]| A squire he had whose name was Ralph 
821:1,0452['  ]| That in th'adventure went his half.  
821:1,0453['  ]| Though writers, for more stately tone, 
821:1,0454['  ]| Do call him Ralpho, 'tis all one, 
821:1,0455['  ]| And when we can with metre safe 
821:1,0456['  ]| We'll call him so, if not plain Ralph 
821:1,0457['  ]| (For rhyme the rudder is of verses, 
821:1,0458['  ]| With which like ships they steer their courses).  
821:1,0459['  ]| An equal stock of wit and valour 
821:1,0460['  ]| He had laid in, by birth a tailor.  
821:1,0461['  ]| The mighty Tyrian queen that gained 
821:1,0462['  ]| With subtle shreds a tract of land, 
821:1,0463['  ]| Did leave it with a castle fair 
821:1,0464['  ]| To his great ancestor, her heir.  
821:1,0465['  ]| From him descended cross-legged knights, 
821:1,0466['  ]| Famed for their faith and warlike fights 
821:1,0467['  ]| Against the bloody cannibal, 
821:1,0468['  ]| Whom they destroyed, both great and small.  
821:1,0469['  ]| This sturdy squier had as well 
821:1,0470['  ]| As the bold Trojan knight, seen hell, 
821:1,0471['  ]| Not with a counterfeit pass 
821:1,0472['  ]| Of golden bough, but true gold lace.  
821:1,0473['  ]| His knowledge was not far behind 
821:1,0474['  ]| The knight's, but of another kind, 
821:1,0475['  ]| And he another way came by't:  
821:1,0476['  ]| Some call it ""gifts"" and some ""new light""; 
821:1,0477['  ]| A liberal art that cost no pains 
821:1,0478['  ]| Of study, industry or brains.  
821:1,0479['  ]| His wits were sent him for a token, 
821:1,0480['  ]| But in the carriage cracked and broken.  
821:1,0481['  ]| Like commendation ninepence, crooked 
821:1,0482['  ]| With ""to and from my love"", it looked.  
821:1,0483['  ]| He ne'er considered it, as loath 
821:1,0484['  ]| To look a gift-horse in the mouth, 
821:1,0485['  ]| And very wisely would lay forth 
821:1,0486['  ]| No more upon it that 'twas worth, 
821:1,0487['  ]| But as he got it freely, so 
821:1,0488['  ]| He spent it frank and freely too 
821:1,0489['  ]| (For saints themselves will sometimes be 
821:1,0490['  ]| Of gifts that cost them nothing, free).  
821:1,0491['  ]| By means of this, with hem and cough, 
821:1,0492['  ]| Prolongers to enlightened snuff, 
821:1,0493['  ]| He could deep mysteries unriddle 
821:1,0494['  ]| As easily as thread a needle; 
821:1,0495['  ]| For, as of vagabonds we say 
821:1,0496['  ]| That they are ne'er beside their way, 
821:1,0497['  ]| What'er men speak by this new light, 
821:1,0498['  ]| Still they are sure to the i'th' right.  
821:1,0499['  ]| 'Tis a dark-lantern of the spirit 
821:1,0500['  ]| Which none see by but those that bear it; 
821:1,0501['  ]| A light that falls down from on high 
821:1,0502['  ]| For spiritual trades to cozen by; 
821:1,0503['  ]| An \7ignis*fatuus\ that bewitches, 
821:1,0504['  ]| And leads men into pools and ditches, 
821:1,0505['  ]| To make them dip themselves, and sound 
821:1,0506['  ]| For Christendom in dirty pond, 
821:1,0507['  ]| To dive like wild-fowl for salvation, 
821:1,0508['  ]| And fish to catch regeneration.  
821:1,0509['  ]| This light inspires, and plays upon 
821:1,0510['  ]| The nose of saint, like bagpipe drone, 
821:1,0511['  ]| And speaks through hollow, empty soul, 
821:1,0512['  ]| As through a trunk, or whispering-hole, 
821:1,0513['  ]| Such language as no mortal ear 
821:1,0514['  ]| But spiritual eavesdroppers can hear.  
821:1,0515['  ]| So Phoebus, or some friendly muse, 
821:1,0516['  ]| Into small poets, song infuse, 
821:1,0517['  ]| Which they at second-hand rehearse 
821:1,0518['  ]| Through reed or bagpipe, verse for verse.  
821:1,0519['  ]| Thus Ralph became infallible 
821:1,0520['  ]| As three or four-legged oracle, 
821:1,0521['  ]| The ancient cup, or modern chair; 
821:1,0522['  ]| Spoke truth point-blank, though unaware; 
821:1,0523['  ]| For mystic learning wondrous able 
821:1,0524['  ]| In magic, talisman and cabal, 
821:1,0525['  ]| Whose primitive tradition reaches 
821:1,0526['  ]| As far as Adam's first green breeches; 
821:1,0527['  ]| Deep-sighted in intelligences, 
821:1,0528['  ]| Ideas, atoms, influences; 
821:1,0529['  ]| And much of \7Terra*Incognita\, 
821:1,0530['  ]| Th'intelligible world, could say; 
821:1,0531['  ]| A deep occult philosopher, 
821:1,0532['  ]| As learned as the wild Irish are, 
821:1,0533['  ]| Or Sir*Agrippa, for profound 
821:1,0534['  ]| And solid lying much renowned.  
821:1,0535['  ]| He Anthroposophus and Fludd 
821:1,0536['  ]| And Jacob*Behmen understood, 
821:1,0537['  ]| Knew many an amulet and charm 
821:1,0538['  ]| That would do neither good nor harm; 
821:1,0539['  ]| In Rosicrucian lore as learned 
821:1,0540['  ]| As he that \7vere 7adeptus\ earned.  
821:1,0541['  ]| He understood the speech of birds 
821:1,0542['  ]| As well as they themselves do words; 
821:1,0543['  ]| Could tell what subtlest parrots mean, 
821:1,0544['  ]| That speak and think contrary clean; 
821:1,0545['  ]| What member 'tis of whom they talk 
821:1,0546['  ]| When they cry ""Rope"", and "Walk, knave, walk"".  
821:1,0547['  ]| He'd extract numbers out of matter 
821:1,0548['  ]| And keep them in a glass, like water, 
821:1,0549['  ]| Of sovereign power to make men wise; 
821:1,0550['  ]| For, dropped in blear, thick-sighted eyes, 
821:1,0551['  ]| They'd make them see in darkest night, 
821:1,0552['  ]| Like owls, though purblind in the light, 
821:1,0553['  ]| By help of these, as he professed, 
821:1,0554['  ]| He had first matter seen undressed.  
821:1,0555['  ]| He took her naked, all alone, 
821:1,0556['  ]| Before one rag of form was on.  
821:1,0557['  ]| The chaos too he had descried, 
821:1,0558['  ]| And seen quite through, or else he lied; 
821:1,0559['  ]| Not that of pasteboard which men show 
821:1,0560['  ]| For groats at fair of Barthol'mew, 
821:1,0561['  ]| But its great-grandsire, first o'th' name, 
821:1,0562['  ]| Whence that and Reformation came; 
821:1,0563['  ]| Both cousin-germans, and right able 
821:1,0564['  ]| T'inveigle and draw in the rabble 
821:1,0565['  ]| (But Reformation was, some say, 
821:1,0566['  ]| O'th' younger house to puppet play).  
821:1,0567['  ]| He could foretell whats'ever was 
821:1,0568['  ]| By consequence to come to pass, 
821:1,0569['  ]| As death of great men, alterations, 
821:1,0570['  ]| Diseases, battles, inundations; 
821:1,0571['  ]| All this without th'eclipse of sun 
821:1,0572['  ]| Or dreadful comet he hath done 
821:1,0573['  ]| By inward light, a way as good 
821:1,0574['  ]| And easy to be understood; 
821:1,0575['  ]| But with more lucky hit than those 
821:1,0576['  ]| That use to make the stars depose, 
821:1,0577['  ]| Like knights o'th' post, and falsely charge 
821:1,0578['  ]| Upon themselves what others forge; 
821:1,0579['  ]| As if they were consenting to 
821:1,0580['  ]| All mischief in the world men do; 
821:1,0581['  ]| Or, like the devil, did tempt and sway 'em 
821:1,0582['  ]| To rogueries, and then betray 'em.  
821:1,0583['  ]| They'll search a planet's house to know 
821:1,0584['  ]| Who broke and robbed a house below; 
821:1,0585['  ]| Examine Venus and the Moon 
821:1,0586['  ]| Who stole a thimble or a spoon; 
821:1,0587['  ]| And though they nothing will confess, 
821:1,0588['  ]| Yet by their very looks can guess, 
821:1,0589['  ]| And tell what guilty aspect bodes, 
821:1,0590['  ]| Who stole, and who received the goods.  
821:1,0591['  ]| They'll question Mars, and by his look 
821:1,0592['  ]| Detect who 'twas that nimmed a cloak; 
821:1,0593['  ]| Make Mercury confess and peach  
821:1,0594['  ]| Those thieves which he himself did teach.  
821:1,0595['  ]| They'll find i'th' physiognomies 
821:1,0596['  ]| O'th' planets all men's destinies, 
821:1,0597['  ]| Like him that took the doctor's bill, 
821:1,0598['  ]| And swallowed it instead o'th' pill; 
821:1,0599['  ]| Cast the nativity o'th' question, 
821:1,0600['  ]| And, from positions to be guessed on, 
821:1,0601['  ]| As sure as if they knew the moment 
821:1,0602['  ]| Of native's birth, tell what will come on't.  
821:1,0603['  ]| They'll feel the pulses of the stars 
821:1,0604['  ]| To find out agues, coughs, catarrhs, 
821:1,0605['  ]| And tell what crisis does divine 
821:1,0606['  ]| The rot in sheep, or mange in swine; 
821:1,0607['  ]| In men what gives or cures the itch, 
821:1,0608['  ]| What makes them cuckolds, poor or rich; 
821:1,0609['  ]| What gains or loses, hangs or saves; 
821:1,0610['  ]| What makes men great, what fools or knaves; 
821:1,0611['  ]| But not what wise, for only of those 
821:1,0612['  ]| The stars, they say, cannot dispose, 
821:1,0613['  ]| No more than can the astrologians.  
821:1,0614['  ]| There they say right, and like true Trojans.  
821:1,0615['  ]| This Ralpho knew, and therefore took 
821:1,0616['  ]| The other course, of which we spoke.  
821:1,0617['  ]| Thus was th'accomplished squire endued 
821:1,0618['  ]| With gifts and knowledge parlous shrewd.  
821:1,0619['  ]| Never did trusty squire with knight 
821:1,0620['  ]| Or knight with squier jump more right.  
821:1,0621['  ]| Their arms and equipage did fit, 
821:1,0622['  ]| As well as virtues, parts and wit.  
821:1,0623['  ]| Their valours too were of a rate, 
821:1,0624['  ]| And out they sallied at the gate.  
821:1,0625['  ]| Few miles on horseback had they jogged, 
821:1,0626['  ]| But fortune unto them turned dogged:  
821:1,0627['  ]| For they a sad adventure met 
821:1,0628['  ]| Of which we now prepare to treat.  
821:1,0629['  ]| But ere we venture to unfold 
821:1,0630['  ]| Achievements so resolved and bold, 
821:1,0631['  ]| We should, as learned poets use, 
821:1,0632['  ]| Invoke th'assistance of some muse 
821:1,0633['  ]| (However critics count it sillier 
821:1,0634['  ]| Than jugglers talking t'a familiar).  
821:1,0635['  ]| We think 'tis no great matter which:  
821:1,0636['  ]| They're all alike; yet we shall pitch 
821:1,0637['  ]| On one that fits our purpose most, 
821:1,0638['  ]| Whom therefore thus do we accost:  
821:1,0639['  ]| Thou that with ale, or viler liquors, 
821:1,0640['  ]| Didst inspire Withers, Prynne and Vickars, 
821:1,0641['  ]| And force them, though it were in spite 
821:1,0642['  ]| Of nature and their stars, to write; 
821:1,0643['  ]| Who, as we find in sullen writs, 
821:1,0644['  ]| And cross-grained works of modern wits, 
821:1,0645['  ]| With vanity, opinion, want, 
821:1,0646['  ]| The wonder of the ignorant, 
821:1,0647['  ]| The praises of the author, penned 
821:1,0648['  ]| By himself, or wit-ensuring friend, 
821:1,0649['  ]| The itch of picture in the front, 
821:1,0650['  ]| With bays, and wicked rhyme upon't, 
821:1,0651['  ]| All that is left o'th' forked hill 
821:1,0652['  ]| To make men scribble without skill, 
821:1,0653['  ]| Canst make a poet, spite of fate, 
821:1,0654['  ]| And teach all people to translate, 
821:1,0655['  ]| Though out of languages in which 
821:1,0656['  ]| They understand no part of speech, 
821:1,0657['  ]| Assist me but this once, I 'mplore, 
821:1,0658['  ]| And I shall trouble thee no more.  
821:1,0659['  ]| In western clime there is a town 
821:1,0660['  ]| To those that dwell therein well known; 
821:1,0661['  ]| Therefore there needs no more be said here, 
821:1,0662['  ]| We unto them refer our reader 
821:1,0663['  ]| (For brevity is very good 
821:1,0664['  ]| When w'are, or are not, understood).  
821:1,0665['  ]| To this town people did repair 
821:1,0666['  ]| On days of market or of fair, 
821:1,0667['  ]| And to cracked fiddle and hoarse tabor 
821:1,0668['  ]| In merriment did drudge and labour.  
821:1,0669['  ]| But now a sport more formidable 
821:1,0670['  ]| Had raked together village rabble.  
821:1,0671['  ]| 'Twas an old way of recreating, 
821:1,0672['  ]| Which learned butchers call bear-baiting; 
821:1,0673['  ]| A bold, adventurous exercise, 
821:1,0674['  ]| With ancient heroes in high prize; 
821:1,0675['  ]| For authors do affirm it came 
821:1,0676['  ]| From Isthmian or Nemean game; 
821:1,0677['  ]| Others derive it from the bear 
821:1,0678['  ]| That's fixed in northern hemisphere, 
821:1,0679['  ]| And round about the pole does make 
821:1,0680['  ]| A circle, like a bear at stake, 
821:1,0681['  ]| That at the chain's end wheels about, 
821:1,0682['  ]| And overturns the rabble-rout.  
821:1,0683['  ]| For, after solemn proclamation 
821:1,0684['  ]| In the bear's name (as is the fashion, 
821:1,0685['  ]| According to the law of arms, 
821:1,0686['  ]| To keep men from inglorious harms) 
821:1,0687['  ]| That none presume to come so near 
821:1,0688['  ]| As forty foot at stake of bear; 
821:1,0689['  ]| If any yet be so foolhardy 
821:1,0690['  ]| T'expose themselves to vain jeopardy; 
821:1,0691['  ]| If they come wounded off and lame, 
821:1,0692['  ]| No honour's got by such a maim; 
821:1,0693['  ]| Although the bear gain much, being bound 
821:1,0694['  ]| In honour to make good his ground 
821:1,0695['  ]| When he's engaged, and take no notice 
821:1,0696['  ]| If any press upon him, who 'tis, 
821:1,0697['  ]| But let them know at their own cost 
821:1,0698['  ]| That he intends to keep his post.  
821:1,0699['  ]| This to prevent, and other harms 
821:1,0700['  ]| Which always wait on feats of arms 
821:1,0701['  ]| (For in the hurry of a fray 
821:1,0702['  ]| 'Tis hard to keep out of harm's way), 
821:1,0703['  ]| Thither the knight his course did steer, 
821:1,0704['  ]| To keep the peace 'twixt dog and bear, 
821:1,0705['  ]| As he believed h'was bound to do 
821:1,0706['  ]| In conscience and commission too, 
821:1,0707['  ]| And therefore thus bespoke the squire:  
821:1,0708['  ]| ""We that are wisely mounted higher 
821:1,0709['  ]| Than constables, in curule wit, 
821:1,0710['  ]| When on tribunal bench we sit, 
821:1,0711['  ]| Like speculators should foresee, 
821:1,0712['  ]| From pharos of authority, 
821:1,0713['  ]| Portended mischiefs, farther then 
821:1,0714['  ]| Low, proletarian tithing-men.  
821:1,0715['  ]| And therefore, being informed by bruit 
821:1,0716['  ]| That dog and bear are to dispute; 
821:1,0717['  ]| For so of late men fighting name, 
821:1,0718['  ]| Because they often prove the same 
821:1,0719['  ]| (For where the first does hap to be, 
821:1,0720['  ]| The last does \7coincidere\); 
821:1,0721['  ]| \7Quantum 7in 7nobis\, have thought good 
821:1,0722['  ]| To save th'expense of Christian blood, 
821:1,0723['  ]| And try if we by mediation 
821:1,0724['  ]| Of treaty and accommodation 
821:1,0725['  ]| Can end the quarrel, and compose 
821:1,0726['  ]| The bloody duel without blows.  
821:1,0727['  ]| Are not our liberties, our lives, 
821:1,0728['  ]| The laws, religion and our wives 
821:1,0729['  ]| Enough at once to lie at stake 
821:1,0730['  ]| For Covenant and the cause's sake; 
821:1,0731['  ]| But in that quarrel dogs and bears, 
821:1,0732['  ]| As well as we, must venture theirs?  
821:1,0733['  ]| This feud, by jesuits invented, 
821:1,0734['  ]| By evil counsel is fomented.  
821:1,0735['  ]| There is a Machiavellian plot 
821:1,0736['  ]| (Though every \7nare 7olfact\ is not), 
821:1,0737['  ]| A deep design in 't, to divide 
821:1,0738['  ]| The well-affected that confide, 
821:1,0739['  ]| By setting brother against brother 
821:1,0740['  ]| To claw and curry one another.  
821:1,0741['  ]| Have we not enemies \7plus 7satis\, 
821:1,0742['  ]| That \7cane 7et 7angue 7peius\ hate us?  
821:1,0743['  ]| And shall we turn our fangs and claws 
821:1,0744['  ]| Upon our own selves without cause?  
821:1,0745['  ]| That some occult design doth lie 
821:1,0746['  ]| IN bloody cynarctomachy, 
821:1,0747['  ]| Is plain enough to him that knows 
821:1,0748['  ]| How saints lead brothers by the nose.  
821:1,0749['  ]| I wish myself a pseudo-prophet, 
821:1,0750['  ]| But sure some mischief will come of it, 
821:1,0751['  ]| Unless by providential wit 
821:1,0752['  ]| Or force we averruncate it.  
821:1,0753['  ]| For what design, what interest 
821:1,0754['  ]| Can beast have to encounter beast?  
821:1,0755['  ]| They fight for no espoused cause, 
821:1,0756['  ]| Frail privilege, fundamental laws, 
821:1,0757['  ]| Nor for a thorough reformation, 
821:1,0758['  ]| Nor Covenant, nor Protestation, 
821:1,0759['  ]| Nor liberty of consciences, 
821:1,0760['  ]| Nor lords' and commons' ordinances, 
821:1,0761['  ]| Nor for the church, nor for church lands, 
821:1,0762['  ]| To get them in their own no hands, 
821:1,0763['  ]| Nor evil counsellors to bring 
821:1,0764['  ]| To justice that seduce the king, 
821:1,0765['  ]| Nor for the worship of us men, 
821:1,0766['  ]| Though we have done as much for them.  
821:1,0767['  ]| Th'Egyptians worshipped dogs, and for 
821:1,0768['  ]| Their faith made fierce and zealous war; 
821:1,0769['  ]| Others adored a rat, and some 
821:1,0770['  ]| For that church suffered martyrdom; 
821:1,0771['  ]| The Indians fought for the truth 
821:1,0772['  ]| Of th'elephant, and monkey's tooth, 
821:1,0773['  ]| And many, to defend that faith, 
821:1,0774['  ]| Fought it out \7mordicus\ to death; 
821:1,0775['  ]| But no beast ever was so slight 
821:1,0776['  ]| For man, as for his god, to fight.  
821:1,0777['  ]| They have more wit, alas, and know 
821:1,0778['  ]| Themselves and us better than so.  
821:1,0779['  ]| But we, we only, do infuse 
821:1,0780['  ]| The rage in them like \9boutefeus\.  
821:1,0781['  ]| 'Tis our example that instils 
821:1,0782['  ]| In them th'infection of our ills.  
821:1,0783['  ]| For, as some late philosophers 
821:1,0784['  ]| Have well observed, beasts that converse 
821:1,0785['  ]| With man, take after him, as hogs 
821:1,0786['  ]| Get pigs all th'year, and bitches dogs.  
821:1,0787['  ]| Just so by our example cattle 
821:1,0788['  ]| Learn to give one another battle.  
821:1,0789['  ]| We read in Nero's time, the heathen, 
821:1,0790['  ]| When they destroyed the Christian brethren, 
821:1,0791['  ]| They sewed them in the skins of bears, 
821:1,0792['  ]| And then set dogs about their ears; 
821:1,0793['  ]| From whence, no doubt, th'invention came 
821:1,0794['  ]| Of this lewd, anti-Christian game."" 
821:1,0795['  ]| On this, quoth Ralpho,
821:1,0795[B  ]| ""Verily, 
821:1,0796[B  ]| The point seems very plain to me.  
821:1,0797[B  ]| It is an anti-Christian game, 
821:1,0798[B  ]| Unlawful both in thing and name, 
821:1,0799[B  ]| First for the name:  the word ""bear baiting"" 
821:1,0800[B  ]| Is carnal, and of man's creating:  
821:1,0801[B  ]| For certainly there's no such word 
821:1,0802[B  ]| In all the scripture on record; 
821:1,0803[B  ]| Therefore unlawful and a sin.  
821:1,0804[B  ]| And so is, secondly, the thing:  
821:1,0805[B  ]| A vile assembly 'tis, that can 
821:1,0806[B  ]| No more be proved by scripture than 
821:1,0807[B  ]| Provincial, classic, national, 
821:1,0808[B  ]| Mere human creature-cobwebs all.  
821:1,0809[B  ]| Thirdly, it is idolatrous; 
821:1,0810[B  ]| For when men run a-whoring thus 
821:1,0811[B  ]| With their inventions, whatsoe'er 
821:1,0812[B  ]| The thing be, whether dog or bear, 
821:1,0813[B  ]| It is idolatrous and pagan 
821:1,0814[B  ]| No less than worshipping of Dragon."" 
821:1,0815['  ]| Quoth Hudibras,
821:1,0815[A  ]| ""I smell a rat.  
821:1,0816[A  ]| Ralpho, thou dost prevaricate.  
821:1,0817[A  ]| For though the thesis which thou lay'st 
821:1,0818[A  ]| Be true \7ad*amussim\ as thou say'st 
821:1,0819[A  ]| (For that bear-baiting should appear 
821:1,0820[A  ]| \7Jure*divino\ lawfuller 
821:1,0821[A  ]| Than synods are, thou dost deny, 
821:1,0822[A  ]| \7Totidem*verbis\ so do I), 
821:1,0823[A  ]| Yet there's a fallacy in this; 
821:1,0824[A  ]| For if by sly homoeosis 
821:1,0825[A  ]| Thou wouldst sophistically imply 
821:1,0826[A  ]| Both are unlawful, I deny."" 
821:1,0827[B  ]| ""And I"",
821:1,0827['  ]| quoth Ralpho,
821:1,0827[B  ]| ""do not doubt 
821:1,0828[B  ]| But bear-baiting may be made out 
821:1,0829[B  ]| In gospel times as lawful as is 
821:1,0830[B  ]| Provincial or parochial classis; 
821:1,0831[B  ]| And that both are so near of kin, 
821:1,0832[B  ]| And like in all, as well as sin, 
821:1,0833[B  ]| That, put them in a bag and shake 'em, 
821:1,0834[B  ]| Yourself o'th' sudden would mistake 'em, 
821:1,0835[B  ]| And not know which is which, unless 
821:1,0836[B  ]| You measure by their wickedness; 
821:1,0837[B  ]| For 'tis not hard t'imagine whether 
821:1,0838[B  ]| O'th' two is worst, though I name neither."" 
821:1,0839['  ]| Quoth Hudibras,
821:1,0839[A  ]| ""Thou offerest much, 
821:1,0840[A  ]| But art not able to keep touch.  
821:1,0841[A  ]| \7Mira 7de 7lente\, as 'tis i'th' adage, 
821:1,0842[A  ]| \7Id*est\, to make a leek a cabbage.  
821:1,0843[A  ]| Thou canst at best but overstrain 
821:1,0844[A  ]| A paradox, and th'own hot brain.  
821:1,0845[A  ]| For what can synods have at all 
821:1,0846[A  ]| With bears that's analogical?  
821:1,0847[A  ]| Or what relation has debating 
821:1,0848[A  ]| Of church affaiers with bear-baiting?  
821:1,0849[A  ]| A just comparison still is 
821:1,0850[A  ]| Of things \7eiusdem*generis\.  
821:1,0851[A  ]| And then what genus rightly doth 
821:1,0852[A  ]| Include and comprehend them both?  
821:1,0853[A  ]| If animal, both of us may 
821:1,0854[A  ]| As justly pass for bears as they; 
821:1,0855[A  ]| For we are animals no less, 
821:1,0856[A  ]| Although of different specieses.  
821:1,0857[A  ]| But, Ralpho, this is no fit place 
821:1,0858[A  ]| Nor time to argue out the case; 
821:1,0859[A  ]| For now the field is not far off 
821:1,0860[A  ]| Where we must give the world a proof 
821:1,0861[A  ]| Of deeds, not words, and such as suit 
821:1,0862[A  ]| Another manner of dispute; 
821:1,0863[A  ]| A controversy that affords 
821:1,0864[A  ]| Actions for arguments, not words, 
821:1,0865[A  ]| Which we must manage at a rate 
821:1,0866[A  ]| Of prowess and conduct adequate 
821:1,0867[A  ]| To what our place and fame doth promise, 
821:1,0868[A  ]| And all the godly expect from us.  
821:1,0869[A  ]| Nor shall they be deceived, unless 
821:1,0870[A  ]| We're slurred and outed by success:  
821:1,0871[A  ]| Success, the mark no mortal wit 
821:1,0872[A  ]| Or surest hand can always hit; 
821:1,0873[A  ]| For, whatsoe'ver we perpetrate, 
821:1,0874[A  ]| We do but row; we're steered by fate, 
821:1,0875[A  ]| Which in success oft disinherits, 
821:1,0876[A  ]| For spurious causes, noblest merits.  
821:1,0877[A  ]| Great actions are not always true sons 
821:1,0878[A  ]| Of great and mighty resolutions; 
821:1,0879[A  ]| Nor do the bold'st attempts bring forth 
821:1,0880[A  ]| Events still equal to their worth, 
821:1,0881[A  ]| But sometimes fail, and in their stead 
821:1,0882[A  ]| Fortune and cowardice succeed.  
821:1,0883[A  ]| Yet we have no great cause to doubt:  
821:1,0884[A  ]| Our actions stil have borne us out, 
821:1,0885[A  ]| Which, though they're known to be so ample, 
821:1,0886[A  ]| We need not copy for example.  
821:1,0887[A  ]| We're not the only person durst 
821:1,0888[A  ]| Attempt this province, nor the first:  
821:1,0889[A  ]| In northern clime a valorous knight 
821:1,0890[A  ]| Did whilom kill his bear in fight 
821:1,0891[A  ]| And wound a fiddler.  We have both 
821:1,0892[A  ]| Of these the objects of our wroth, 
821:1,0893[A  ]| And equal fame and glory from 
821:1,0894[A  ]| Th'attempt or victory to come.  
821:1,0895[A  ]| 'Tis sung, there is a valiant Mameluke 
821:1,0896[A  ]| In foreign land, ycleped *** , 
821:1,0897[A  ]| To whom we have been oft compared 
821:1,0898[A  ]| For person, parts, address and beard; 
821:1,0899[A  ]| Both equally reputed stout, 
821:1,0900[A  ]| And in the same cause both have fought.  
821:1,0901[A  ]| He oft in such attempts as these 
821:1,0902[A  ]| Came off with glory and success; 
821:1,0903[A  ]| Nor will we fall in th'execution 
821:1,0904[A  ]| For want of equal resolution.  
821:1,0905[A  ]| Honour is, like a widow, won 
821:1,0906[A  ]| With brisk attempt and putting on; 
821:1,0907[A  ]| With entering manfully and urging; 
821:1,0908[A  ]| Not slow approaches, like a virgin."" 
821:1,0909['  ]| This said, as once the Phrygian knight, 
821:1,0910['  ]| So ours with rusty steel did smite 
821:1,0911['  ]| His Trojan horse, and just as much 
821:1,0912['  ]| He mended pace upon the touch; 
821:1,0913['  ]| But from his empty stomach groaned, 
821:1,0914['  ]| Just as that hollow beast did sound, 
821:1,0915['  ]| And angry answered from behind 
821:1,0916['  ]| With brandished tail and blast of wind.  
821:1,0917['  ]| So have I seen with armed heel 
821:1,0918['  ]| A wight bestride a commonweal; 
821:1,0919['  ]| While still the more he kicked and spurred, 
821:1,0920['  ]| The less the sullen jade has stirred.  
821:2,0000['  ]| <CANTO II> 
821:2,0000['  ]| <THE ARGUMENT> 
821:2,0000['  ]| <\The catalogue and character\> 
821:2,0000['  ]| <\Of th'enemy's best men of war,\> 
821:2,0000['  ]| <\Whom, in a bold harangue, the knight\> 
821:2,0000['  ]| <\Defies and challenges to fight.\> 
821:2,0000['  ]| <\H'encounters Talgol, routs the bear\> 
821:2,0000['  ]| <\And takes the fiddler prisoner;\> 
821:2,0000['  ]| <\Conveys him to enchanted castle,\> 
821:2,0000['  ]| <\There shuts him fast in wooden bastille.\> 
821:2,0001['  ]| There was an ancient, sage philosopher 
821:2,0002['  ]| That had read Alexander*Ross over, 
821:2,0003['  ]| And swore the world, as he could prove, 
821:2,0004['  ]| Was made of fighting and of love:  
821:2,0005['  ]| Just so romances are, for what else 
821:2,0006['  ]| Is in them all but love and battels?  
821:2,0007['  ]| O'th' first of these we've no great matter 
821:2,0008['  ]| To treat of, but a world o'th' latter, 
821:2,0009['  ]| In which to do the injured right 
821:2,0010['  ]| We mean, in what concerns just fight.  
821:2,0011['  ]| Certes our authors are to blame, 
821:2,0012['  ]| For to make some well-sounding name 
821:2,0013['  ]| A pattern fit for modern knights 
821:2,0014['  ]| To copy out in frays and fights 
821:2,0015['  ]| (Like those that a whole street do raze 
821:2,0016['  ]| To build a palace in the place).  
821:2,0017['  ]| They never care how many others 
821:2,0018['  ]| They kill, without regard of mothers, 
821:2,0019['  ]| Or wives, or children, so they can 
821:2,0020['  ]| Make up some fierce, dead-doing man, 
821:2,0021['  ]| Composed of many ingredient valours, 
821:2,0022['  ]| Just like the manhood of nine tailors.  
821:2,0023['  ]| So a wild Tartar, when he spies 
821:2,0024['  ]| A man that's handsome, valiant, wise, 
821:2,0025['  ]| If he can kill him, thinks t'inherit 
821:2,0026['  ]| His wit, his beauty and his spirit, 
821:2,0027['  ]| As if just so much he enjoyed 
821:2,0028['  ]| As in another is destroyed.  
821:2,0029['  ]| For, when a giant's slain in fight, 
821:2,0030['  ]| And mowed o'erthwart, or cleft downright, 
821:2,0031['  ]| It is a heavy case, no doubt, 
821:2,0032['  ]| A man should have his brains beat out 
821:2,0033['  ]| Because he's tall and has large bones, 
821:2,0034['  ]| As men kill beavers for their stones.  
821:2,0035['  ]| But as for our part, we shall tell 
821:2,0036['  ]| The naked truth of what befell, 
821:2,0037['  ]| And, as an equal friend to both 
821:2,0038['  ]| The knight and bear, but more to troth, 
821:2,0039['  ]| With neither faction shall take part, 
821:2,0040['  ]| But give to each his due desert, 
821:2,0041['  ]| And never coin a formal lie on't 
821:2,0042['  ]| To make the knight o'ercome the giant.  
821:2,0043['  ]| This being professed we hope 's enough, 
821:2,0044['  ]| And now go on where we left off.  
821:2,0045['  ]| They rode, but authors having not 
821:2,0046['  ]| Determined whether pace or trot 
821:2,0047['  ]| (That is to say, whether ""tollutation"", 
821:2,0048['  ]| As they do term 't, or ""succussation""), 
821:2,0049['  ]| We leave it, and go on, as now 
821:2,0050['  ]| Suppose they did, no matter how 
821:2,0051['  ]| (Yet some from subtle hints have got 
821:2,0052['  ]| Mysterious light it was a trot.  
821:2,0053['  ]| But let that pass).  They now begun 
821:2,0054['  ]| To spur their living engines on.  
821:2,0055['  ]| For, as whipped tops and bandied balls, 
821:2,0056['  ]| The learned hold, are animals, 
821:2,0057['  ]| So horses they affirm to be 
821:2,0058['  ]| Mere engines made by geometry, 
821:2,0059['  ]| And were invented first from engines, 
821:2,0060['  ]| As Indian Britons were from penguins.  
821:2,0061['  ]| So let them be.  And, as I was saying, 
821:2,0062['  ]| They their live engines plied, not staying 
821:2,0063['  ]| Until they reached the fatal champaign 
821:2,0064['  ]| Which th'enemy did then encamp on, 
821:2,0065['  ]| The dire Pharsalian plain when battle 
821:2,0066['  ]| Was to be waged 'twixt puissant cattle 
821:2,0067['  ]| And fierce auxiliary men 
821:2,0068['  ]| That came to aid their bretheren, 
821:2,0069['  ]| Who now began to take the field 
821:2,0070['  ]| As from his steed the knight beheld.  
821:2,0071['  ]| For, as our modern wits behold, 
821:2,0072['  ]| Mounted a pick-back on the old, 
821:2,0073['  ]| Much further off, much further he, 
821:2,0074['  ]| Raised on his aged beast could see, 
821:2,0075['  ]| Yet not sufficient to descry 
821:2,0076['  ]| All postures of the enemy.  
821:2,0077['  ]| And therefore orders the bold squire 
821:2,0078['  ]| T'advance and view their body nigher 
821:2,0079['  ]| That, when their motions he had known, 
821:2,0080['  ]| He might know how to fit his own.  
821:2,0081['  ]| Meanwhile he stopped his willing steed 
821:2,0082['  ]| To fit himself for martial deed.  
821:2,0083['  ]| Both kinds of metal he prepared, 
821:2,0084['  ]| Either to give blows or to ward, 
821:2,0085['  ]| Courage within and steel without, 
821:2,0086['  ]| To give or to receive a rout.  
821:2,0087['  ]| His death-charged pistols he did fit well, 
821:2,0088['  ]| Drawn out from life-preserving victual.  
821:2,0089['  ]| These being primed, with force he laboured 
821:2,0090['  ]| To free sword from retentive scabbard 
821:2,0091['  ]| And, after many a painful pluck, 
821:2,0092['  ]| He cleared at length the rugged tuck, 
821:2,0093['  ]| Then shook himself to see that prowess 
821:2,0094['  ]| In scabbard of his arms sat loose, 
821:2,0095['  ]| And, raised upon his desperate foot, 
821:2,0096['  ]| On stirrup side he gazed about, 
821:2,0097['  ]| Portending blood, like blazing star, 
821:2,0098['  ]| The beacon of approaching war.  
821:2,0099['  ]| The squire advanced with greater speed 
821:2,0100['  ]| Than could b'expected from his steed, 
821:2,0101['  ]| But far more in returning made, 
821:2,0102['  ]| For now the foe he had surveyed, 
821:2,0103['  ]| Ranged, as to him they did appear, 
821:2,0104['  ]| With van, main battle, wings and rear.  
821:2,0105['  ]| In th'head of all this warlike rabble 
821:2,0106['  ]| Crowdero marched, expert and able:  
821:2,0107['  ]| Instead of trumpet and of drum 
821:2,0108['  ]| That makes the warrior's stomach come, 
821:2,0109['  ]| Whose noise whets valour sharp, like beer 
821:2,0110['  ]| By thunder turned to vinegar 
821:2,0111['  ]| (For if a trumpet sound or drum beat, 
821:2,0112['  ]| Who has not a month's mind to combat?), 
821:2,0113['  ]| A squeaking engine he applied 
821:2,0114['  ]| Unto his neck on north-east side, 
821:2,0115['  ]| Just where the hangman does dispose 
821:2,0116['  ]| To special friends the fatal noose 
821:2,0117['  ]| (For 'tis great grace when statesmen straight 
821:2,0118['  ]| Dispatch a friend, let others wait).  
821:2,0119['  ]| His warped ear hung o'er the strings, 
821:2,0120['  ]| Which was but souse to chitterlings; 
821:2,0121['  ]| For guts, some write, ere they are sodden, 
821:2,0122['  ]| Are fit for music or for pudden, 
821:2,0123['  ]| From whence men borrow every kind 
821:2,0124['  ]| Of minstrelsy by string or wind.  
821:2,0125['  ]| His grizzly bear was long and thick, 
821:2,0126['  ]| With which he strung his fiddle stick, 
821:2,0127['  ]| For he to horse tail scorned to owe 
821:2,0128['  ]| For what on his own chin did grow.  
821:2,0129['  ]| Chiron, the four-legged bard, had both 
821:2,0130['  ]| A beard and tail of his own growth, 
821:2,0131['  ]| And yet by authors 'tis averted 
821:2,0132['  ]| He made use only of his beard.  
821:2,0133['  ]| In Staffordshire, where virtuous worth 
821:2,0134['  ]| Does raise the minstrelsy, not birth; 
821:2,0135['  ]| Where bulls do choose the boldest king 
821:2,0136['  ]| And ruler o'er th men of string 
821:2,0137['  ]| (As once in Persia, 'tis said, 
821:2,0138['  ]| Kings were proclaimed by a horse that neighed), 
821:2,0139['  ]| He, bravely venturing at a crown, 
821:2,0140['  ]| By chance of war was beaten down 
821:2,0141['  ]| And wounded sore.  His leg, then broke, 
821:2,0142['  ]| Had got a deputy of oak; 
821:2,0143['  ]| For when a shin in fight is cropped, 
821:2,0144['  ]| The knee with one of timber's propped; 
821:2,0145['  ]| Esteemed more honourable than the other, 
821:2,0146['  ]| And takes place, though the younger brother.  
821:2,0147['  ]| Next marched brave Orsin, famous for 
821:2,0148['  ]| Wise conduct, and success in war; 
821:2,0149['  ]| A skilful leader, stout, severe, 
821:2,0150['  ]| Now marshal to the champion bear.  
821:2,0151['  ]| With truncheon tipped with iron head 
821:2,0152['  ]| The warrior to the lists he led, 
821:2,0153['  ]| With solemn march and stately pace, 
821:2,0154['  ]| But far more grave and solemn face; 
821:2,0155['  ]| Grave as the Emperor of Pegu, 
821:2,0156['  ]| Or Spanish potentate Don*Diego.  
821:2,0157['  ]| This leader was of knowledge great, 
821:2,0158['  ]| Either for charge or for retreat; 
821:2,0159['  ]| Knew when t'engage his bear pell-mell 
821:2,0160['  ]| And when to bring him off as well.  
821:2,0161['  ]| So lawyers, lest the bear defendant 
821:2,0162['  ]| And plaintiff dog should make an end on 't, 
821:2,0163['  ]| Do stave and tail with writs of error, 
821:2,0164['  ]| Reverse of judgement and demurrer, 
821:2,0165['  ]| To let them breathe awhile, and then 
821:2,0166['  ]| Cry ""Whoop!"" and set them on again.  
821:2,0167['  ]| As Romulus a wolf did rear, 
821:2,0168['  ]| So he was dry-nursed by a bear 
821:2,0169['  ]| That fed him with the purchased prey 
821:2,0170['  ]| Of many a fierce and bloody fray; 
821:2,0171['  ]| Bred up where discipline most rare is 
821:2,0172['  ]| In military Garden*Paris.  
821:2,0173['  ]| For soldiers heretofore did grow 
821:2,0174['  ]| In gardens, just as weeds do now, 
821:2,0175['  ]| Until some splay-foot politicians 
821:2,0176['  ]| T'Apollo offered up petitions 
821:2,0177['  ]| For licencing a new invention 
821:2,0178['  ]| They'd found out, of an antique engine, 
821:2,0179['  ]| To root out all the weeds that grow 
821:2,0180['  ]| In public garden at a blow 
821:2,0181['  ]| And leave th'herbs standing.  Quoth Sir*Sun, 
821:2,0182[W  ]| ""My friends, that is not to be done"".  
821:2,0183[W  ]| ""Not done?""
821:2,0183['  ]| quoth statesmen,
821:2,0183[W  ]| ""Yes, an't please ye.  
821:2,0184[W  ]| When 'tis once known you'll say 'tis easy.""  
821:2,0185[W  ]| ""Why then, let's know it!""
821:2,0185['  ]| quoth Apollo.  
821:2,0186[W  ]| ""We'll beat a drum and they'll all follow."" 
821:2,0187[W  ]| ""A drum?""
821:2,0187['  ]| quoth Phoebus,
821:2,0187[W  ]| ""Troth that's true; 
821:2,0188[W  ]| A pretty invention, quaint and new.  
821:2,0189[W  ]| But though of voice and instrument 
821:2,0190[W  ]| We are, 'tis true, chief president, 
821:2,0191[W  ]| We such loud music do not profess:  
821:2,0192[W  ]| The devil's master of that office, 
821:2,0193[W  ]| Where it must pass, if 't be a drum.  
821:2,0194[W  ]| He'll sign it with \Cler%  Parl% Dom% Com%\ 
821:2,0195[W  ]| To him apply yourselves, and he 
821:2,0196[W  ]| Will soon dispatch you for his fee."" 
821:2,0197['  ]| They did so, but it proved so ill, 
821:2,0198['  ]| They'd better have let them grow there still.  
821:2,0199['  ]| But to resume what we discoursing 
821:2,0200['  ]| Were on before, that is stout Orsin:  
821:2,0201['  ]| That which so oft by sundry writers 
821:2,0202['  ]| Has been applied t'almost all fighters 
821:2,0203['  ]| More justly may b'ascribed to this 
821:2,0204['  ]| Than any other warrior, \viz\:  
821:2,0205['  ]| None ever acted both parts bolder, 
821:2,0206['  ]| Both of a chieftain and a soldier.  
821:2,0207['  ]| He was of great descent and high 
821:2,0208['  ]| For splendour and antiquity, 
821:2,0209['  ]| And from celestial origine 
821:2,0210['  ]| Derived himself in a right line; 
821:2,0211['  ]| Not as the ancient heroes did, 
821:2,0212['  ]| Who, that their base births might be had 
821:2,0213['  ]| (Knowing they were of doubtful gender 
821:2,0214['  ]| And that they came in at a windore), 
821:2,0215['  ]| Made Jupiter himself and others 
821:2,0216['  ]| O'th' gods gallants to their own mothers, 
821:2,0217['  ]| To get on them a race of champions 
821:2,0218['  ]| (Of which old Homer first made lampoons).  
821:2,0219['  ]| Arctophylax in northern sphere 
821:2,0220['  ]| Was his undoubted ancestor; 
821:2,0221['  ]| From him his great forefathers came, 
821:2,0222['  ]| And in all ages bore his name.  
821:2,0223['  ]| Learned he was in med'cinal lore, 
821:2,0224['  ]| For by his side a pouch he wore, 
821:2,0225['  ]| Replete with strange hermetic powder 
821:2,0226['  ]| That wounds nine miles point-blanc would solder, 
821:2,0227['  ]| By skilful chemist with great cost 
821:2,0228['  ]| Extracted from a rotten post, 
821:2,0229['  ]| But of a heav'nlier influence 
821:2,0230['  ]| Than that which mountebanks dispense, 
821:2,0231['  ]| Though by Promethean fier made, 
821:2,0232['  ]| As they do quack that drive that trade.  
821:2,0233['  ]| For, as when slovens do amiss 
821:2,0234['  ]| At others' doors by stool or piss, 
821:2,0235['  ]| The learned write, a red-hot spit, 
821:2,0236['  ]| Being prudently applied to it, 
821:2,0237['  ]| Will convey mischief from the dung 
821:2,0238['  ]| Unto the part that did the wrong, 
821:2,0239['  ]| So this did healing, and as sure 
821:2,0240['  ]| As that did mischief, this would cure.  
821:2,0241['  ]| Thus virtuous Orsin was endued 
821:2,0242['  ]| With learning, conduct, fortitude 
821:2,0243['  ]| Incomparable; and, as the prince 
821:2,0244['  ]| Of poets, Homer, sung long since, 
821:2,0245['  ]| A skilful leech is better far 
821:2,0246['  ]| Than half a hundred men of war, 
821:2,0247['  ]| So he appeared, and by his skill, 
821:2,0248['  ]| No less than dint of sword, could kill.  
821:2,0249['  ]| The gallant Bruin marched next him, 
821:2,0250['  ]| With visage formidably grim, 
821:2,0251['  ]| And rugged as a Saracen 
821:2,0252['  ]| Or Turk of Mahomet's own kin, 
821:2,0253['  ]| Clad in a mantle \8della*guer\ 
821:2,0254['  ]| Of rough, impenetrable fur, 
821:2,0255['  ]| And in his nose, like Indian king, 
821:2,0256['  ]| He wore for ornament a ring; 
821:2,0257['  ]| About his neck a three-fold gorget, 
821:2,0258['  ]| As tough as trebled leathern target; 
821:2,0259['  ]| ""Armed"", as heralds cant, and ""langued"", 
821:2,0260['  ]| Or, as the vulgar say, sharp-fanged.  
821:2,0261['  ]| For, as the teeth in beasts of prey 
821:2,0262['  ]| Are swords with which they fight in fray, 
821:2,0263['  ]| So swords in men of war are teeth 
821:2,0264['  ]| Which they do eat their victual with.  
821:2,0265['  ]| He was by birth, some authors write, 
821:2,0266['  ]| A Russian, some a Muscovite, 
821:2,0267['  ]| And 'mong the Cossacks had been bred, 
821:2,0268['  ]| Of whom we in diurnals read, 
821:2,0269['  ]| That serve to fill up pages here 
821:2,0270['  ]| As with their bodies ditches there.  
821:2,0271['  ]| Scrimansky was his cousin-german, 
821:2,0272['  ]| With whom he served and fed on vermin, 
821:2,0273['  ]| And when these failed he'd suck his claws 
821:2,0274['  ]| And quarter himself upon his paws.  
821:2,0275['  ]| And though his countrymen, the Huns, 
821:2,0276['  ]| Did use to stew between their bums 
821:2,0277['  ]| And their warm horses' backs their meat, 
821:2,0278['  ]| And every man his saddle eat, 
821:2,0279['  ]| He was not half so nice as they, 
821:2,0280['  ]| But ate it raw when't came in 's way.  
821:2,0281['  ]| He had traced countries far and near 
821:2,0282['  ]| More than le*Blanc, the traveller, 
821:2,0283['  ]| Who writes, he spoused in India 
821:2,0284['  ]| Of noble house a lady gay, 
821:2,0285['  ]| And got on her a race of worthies 
821:2,0286['  ]| As stout as any upon earth is.  
821:2,0287['  ]| Full many a fight for him between 
821:2,0288['  ]| Talgol and Orsin oft had been, 
821:2,0289['  ]| Each striving to deserve the crown 
821:2,0290['  ]| Of a saved citizen.  The one 
821:2,0291['  ]| To guard his bear, the other fought 
821:2,0292['  ]| To aid his dog, both made more stout 
821:2,0293['  ]| By several spurs of neighbourhood, 
821:2,0294['  ]| Church fellow-membership, and blood.  
821:2,0295['  ]| But Talgol, mortal foe to cows, 
821:2,0296['  ]| Never got ought of him but blows; 
821:2,0297['  ]| Blows hard and heavy, such as he 
821:2,0298['  ]| Had lend, repayed with usury.  
821:2,0299['  ]| Yet Talgol was of courage stout, 
821:2,0300['  ]| And vanquished oftener than he fought; 
821:2,0301['  ]| Inured to labour, sweat and toil, 
821:2,0302['  ]| And, like a champion, shone with oil.  
821:2,0303['  ]| Right many  a widow his keen blade, 
821:2,0304['  ]| And many fatherless, had made.  
821:2,0305['  ]| He many a boar and huge dun cow 
821:2,0306['  ]| Did, like another Guy, o'erthrow; 
821:2,0307['  ]| But Guy with him in fight compared 
821:2,0308['  ]| Had like the boar or dun cow fared.  
821:2,0309['  ]| With greater troops of sheep he'd fought 
821:2,0310['  ]| Than Ajax or bold Don*Quixote, 
821:2,0311['  ]| And many a serpent of fell kind, 
821:2,0312['  ]| With wings before and stings behind 
821:2,0313['  ]| Subdued, as poets say long agone 
821:2,0314['  ]| Bold Sir*George Saint*George did the dragon.  
821:2,0315['  ]| Nor engine, nor device polemic, 
821:2,0316['  ]| Disease, nor doctor epidemic, 
821:2,0317['  ]| Though stored with deletery medicines 
821:2,0318['  ]| (Which whosoever took is dead since), 
821:2,0319['  ]| E'er sent so vast a colony 
821:2,0320['  ]| To both the underworlds as he.  
821:2,0321['  ]| For he was of that noble trade 
821:2,0322['  ]| That demigods and heroes made, 
821:2,0323['  ]| Slaughter and knocking on the head, 
821:2,0324['  ]| The trade to which they all were bred, 
821:2,0325['  ]| And is, like others, glorious when 
821:2,0326['  ]| 'Tis great and large, but base if mean.  
821:2,0327['  ]| The former rides in triumph for it, 
821:2,0328['  ]| The latter in a two-wheeled chariot, 
821:2,0329['  ]| For daring to profane a thing 
821:2,0330['  ]| So sacred, with vile bungleing.  
821:2,0331['  ]| Next these the brave Magnano came, 
821:2,0332['  ]| Magnano, great in martial fame; 
821:2,0333['  ]| Yet, when with Orsin he waged fight, 
821:2,0334['  ]| 'Tis sung he got but little by't.  
821:2,0335['  ]| Yet he was fierce as forest boar, 
821:2,0336['  ]| Whose spoils upon his back he wore, 
821:2,0337['  ]| As thick as Ajax' seven-fold shield, 
821:2,0338['  ]| Which o'er his brazen arms he held.  
821:2,0339['  ]| But brass was feeble to resist 
821:2,0340['  ]| The fury of his armed fist, 
821:2,0341['  ]| Nor could the hardest iron hold out 
821:2,0342['  ]| Against his blows, but they would through't.  
821:2,0343['  ]| In magic he was deeply rad 
821:2,0344['  ]| As he that made the brazen head; 
821:2,0345['  ]| Profoundly skilled in the black art 
821:2,0346['  ]| As English Merlin for his heart, 
821:2,0347['  ]| But far more skilful in the spheres 
821:2,0348['  ]| Than he was at the sieve and shears.  
821:2,0349['  ]| He could transform himself in colour 
821:2,0350['  ]| As like the devil as a collier; 
821:2,0351['  ]| As like as hypocrites in show 
821:2,0352['  ]| Are to true saints, or crow to crow.  
821:2,0353['  ]| Of warlike engines he was author, 
821:2,0354['  ]| Devised for quick despatch of slaughter.  
821:2,0355['  ]| The cannon, blunderbuss and saker 
821:2,0356['  ]| He was th'inventor of and maker.  
821:2,0357['  ]| The trumpet and the kettle-drum 
821:2,0358['  ]| Did both from his invention come.  
821:2,0359['  ]| He was the first that e'er did teach 
821:2,0360['  ]| To make, and how to stop a breach.  
821:2,0361['  ]| A lance he bore with iron pike; 
821:2,0362['  ]| Th'one half would thrust, the other strike, 
821:2,0363['  ]| And when their forces he had joined 
821:2,0364['  ]| He scorned to turn his parts behind.  
821:2,0365['  ]| He Trulla loved, Trulla more bright 
821:2,0366['  ]| Than burnished armour of her knight; 
821:2,0367['  ]| A bold virago, stout and tall 
821:2,0368['  ]| As Joan of France or English Mall.  
821:2,0369['  ]| Through perils both of wind and limb, 
821:2,0370['  ]| Through thick and thin she followed him 
821:2,0371['  ]| In every adventure h'undertook 
821:2,0372['  ]| And never him or it forsook.  
821:2,0373['  ]| At breach of wall or hedge-surprise 
821:2,0374['  ]| She shared in th'hazard and the prize; 
821:2,0375['  ]| At beating quarters up or forage 
821:2,0376['  ]| Behaved herself with matchless courage, 
821:2,0377['  ]| And laid about in fight more busily 
821:2,0378['  ]| Than th'Amazonian dame Penthesile.  
821:2,0379['  ]| And, though some critics here cry shame 
821:2,0380['  ]| And say our authors are to blame 
821:2,0381['  ]| That (spite of all philosophers 
821:2,0382['  ]| Who hold no females stout but bears, 
821:2,0383['  ]| And heretofore did so abhor 
821:2,0384['  ]| Their women should pretend to war, 
821:2,0385['  ]| They would not suffer the stout'st dame 
821:2,0386['  ]| To swear by Hercules his name) 
821:2,0387['  ]| Make feeble ladies in their works 
821:2,0388['  ]| To fight like termagants and Turks; 
821:2,0389['  ]| To lay their native arms aside, 
821:2,0390['  ]| Their modesty, and ride astride; 
821:2,0391['  ]| To run a-tilt at men, and wield 
821:2,0392['  ]| Their naked tools in open field; 
821:2,0393['  ]| As stout Armida, bold Thalestris, 
821:2,0394['  ]| And she that would have been the mistress 
821:2,0395['  ]| Of Gondibert, but he had grace 
821:2,0396['  ]| And rather took a country lass; 
821:2,0397['  ]| They say 'tis false, without all sense, 
821:2,0398['  ]| But of pernicious consequence 
821:2,0399['  ]| To government, which they suppose 
821:2,0400['  ]| Can never be upheld in prose; 
821:2,0401['  ]| Strip nature naked to the skin, 
821:2,0402['  ]| You'll find about her no such thing.  
821:2,0403['  ]| It may be so, yet what we tell 
821:2,0404['  ]| Of Trulla that's improbable 
821:2,0405['  ]| Shall be deposed by those have seen't, 
821:2,0406['  ]| Or, what's as good, produced in print, 
821:2,0407['  ]| And if they will not take our word, 
821:2,0408['  ]| We'll prove it true upon record.  
821:2,0409['  ]| The upright Cerdon next advanced, 
821:2,0410['  ]| Of all his race the valiant'st, 
821:2,0411['  ]| Cerdon the great, renowned in song, 
821:2,0412['  ]| Like Herc'les, for repair of wrong.  
821:2,0413['  ]| He raised the low and fortified 
821:2,0414['  ]| The weak against the strongest side.  
821:2,0415['  ]| Ill has he read that never hit 
821:2,0416['  ]| On him in muse's deathless writ.  
821:2,0417['  ]| He had a weapon keen and fierce 
821:2,0418['  ]| That through a bull-hide shield would pierce 
821:2,0419['  ]| And cut it in a thousand pieces, 
821:2,0420['  ]| Though tougher than the knight of Greece his, 
821:2,0421['  ]| With whom his black-thumbed ancestor  
821:2,0422['  ]| Was comrade in the ten years war.  
821:2,0423['  ]| For when the restless Greeks sat down 
821:2,0424['  ]| So many years before Troy town, 
821:2,0425['  ]| And were renowned, as Homer writes, 
821:2,0426['  ]| For well-soled boots no less than fights, 
821:2,0427['  ]| They owed that glory only to 
821:2,0428['  ]| His ancestor that made them so.  
821:2,0429['  ]| Fast friend he was to reformation 
821:2,0430['  ]| Until 'twas worn quite out of fashion; 
821:2,0431['  ]| Next rectifier of wry law, 
821:2,0432['  ]| And would make three to cure one flaw; 
821:2,0433['  ]| Learned he was and could take note, 
821:2,0434['  ]| Transcribe, collect, translate and quote; 
821:2,0435['  ]| But preaching was his chiefest talent, 
821:2,0436['  ]| Or argument, in which being valiant, 
821:2,0437['  ]| He used to lay about and stickle, 
821:2,0438['  ]| Like ram or bull, at conventicle:  
821:2,0439['  ]| For disputants, like rams and bulls, 
821:2,0440['  ]| Do fight with arms that spring from skulls.  
821:2,0441['  ]| Last Colon came, bold man of war, 
821:2,0442['  ]| Destined to blows by fatal star; 
821:2,0443['  ]| Right expert in command of horse, 
821:2,0444['  ]| But cruel and without remorse.  
821:2,0445['  ]| That which of centaur long ago 
821:2,0446['  ]| Was said, and has been wrested to 
821:2,0447['  ]| Some other knights, was true of this:  
821:2,0448['  ]| He and his horse were of a piece.  
821:2,0449['  ]| One spirit did inform them both, 
821:2,0450['  ]| The self-same vigour, fury, wroth; 
821:2,0451['  ]| Yet he was much the rougher part 
821:2,0452['  ]| And always had a harder heart, 
821:2,0453['  ]| Although his horse had been of those 
821:2,0454['  ]| That fed on man's flesh, as fame goes.  
821:2,0455['  ]| Strange food for horse!  and yet, alas, 
821:2,0456['  ]| It may be true, for flesh is grass.  
821:2,0457['  ]| Sturdy he was, and no less able 
821:2,0458['  ]| Than Hercules to cleanse a stable; 
821:2,0459['  ]| As great a drover, and as great 
821:2,0460['  ]| A critic too in hog or neat.  
821:2,0461['  ]| He ripped the womb up of his mother, 
821:2,0462['  ]| Dame*Tellus, 'cause she wanted fother 
821:2,0463['  ]| And provender wherewith to feed 
821:2,0464['  ]| Himself and his less cruel steed.  
821:2,0465['  ]| It was a question whether he 
821:2,0466['  ]| Or 's horse were of a family 
821:2,0467['  ]| More worshipful, till antiquaries 
821:2,0468['  ]| (After they'd almost pored out their eyes) 
821:2,0469['  ]| Did very learnedly decide 
821:2,0470['  ]| The business on the horse's side, 
821:2,0471['  ]| And proved not only horse, but cows, 
821:2,0472['  ]| Nay pigs were of the elder house:  
821:2,0473['  ]| For beasts, when man was but a piece 
821:2,0474['  ]| Of earth himself, did th'earth possess.  
821:2,0475['  ]| These worthies were the chief that led 
821:2,0476['  ]| The combatants, each in the head 
821:2,0477['  ]| Of his command, with arms and rage 
821:2,0478['  ]| Ready and longing to engage.  
821:2,0479['  ]| The numerous rabble was drawn out 
821:2,0480['  ]| Of several countries round about, 
821:2,0481['  ]| From villages remote and shires 
821:2,0482['  ]| Of east and western hemispheres.  
821:2,0483['  ]| From foreign parishes and regions, 
821:2,0484['  ]| Of different manners, speech, religions 
821:2,0485['  ]| Came men and mastiffs, some to fight 
821:2,0486['  ]| For fame and honour, some for sight.  
821:2,0487['  ]| And now the field of death, the lists, 
821:2,0488['  ]| Were entered by antagonists, 
821:2,0489['  ]| And blood was ready to be broached, 
821:2,0490['  ]| When Hudibras in haste approached 
821:2,0491['  ]| With squire and weapons to attack them, 
821:2,0492['  ]| But first from his horse bespake them:  
821:2,0493[A  ]| ""What rage, O citizens, what fury 
821:2,0494[A  ]| Doth you to these dire actions hurry?  
821:2,0495[A  ]| What oestrum, what phrenetic mood 
821:2,0496[A  ]| Makes you thus lavish of your blood, 
821:2,0497[A  ]| While the proud Vies your trophies boast 
821:2,0498[A  ]| And unrevenged walks *** ghost?  
821:2,0499[A  ]| What towns, what garrison might you 
821:2,0500[A  ]| With hazard of this blood subdue, 
821:2,0501[A  ]| Which now you're bent to throw away 
821:2,0502[A  ]| In vain, untriumphable fray?  
821:2,0503[A  ]| Shall saints in civil bloodshed wallow 
821:2,0504[A  ]| Of saints, and let the cause lie fallow?  
821:2,0505[A  ]| The cause, for which we fought and swore 
821:2,0506[A  ]| So boldly, shall we now give o'er?  
821:2,0507[A  ]| Then because quarrels still are seen 
821:2,0508[A  ]| With oaths and swearing to begin, 
821:2,0509[A  ]| The solemn League and Covenant 
821:2,0510[A  ]| Will seeme a mere god-damn-me rant, 
821:2,0511[A  ]| And we that took it and have fought, 
821:2,0512[A  ]| As lewd as drunkards that fall out.  
821:2,0513[A  ]| For as we make war for the King 
821:2,0514[A  ]| Against himself, the self-same thing 
821:2,0515[A  ]| Some will not stick to swear we do 
821:2,0516[A  ]| For God and for religion too.  
821:2,0517[A  ]| For if bear-baiting we allow, 
821:2,0518[A  ]| What good can reformation do?  
821:2,0519[A  ]| The blood and treasure that's laid out 
821:2,0520[A  ]| Is thrown away and goes for nought.  
821:2,0521[A  ]| Are these the fruits o'th' Protestation, 
821:2,0522[A  ]| The prototype of reformation, 
821:2,0523[A  ]| Which all the saints, and some since martyrs, 
821:2,0524[A  ]| Wore in their hats like wedding-garters 
821:2,0525[A  ]| When 'twas resolved by either house 
821:2,0526[A  ]| Six members' quarrel to espouse?  
821:2,0527[A  ]| Did they for this draw down the rabble 
821:2,0528[A  ]| With zeal and noises formidable, 
821:2,0529[A  ]| And make all cries about the town 
821:2,0530[A  ]| Join throats to cry the bishops down?  
821:2,0531[A  ]| Who, having round begirt the palace 
821:2,0532[A  ]| (As once a month they do the gallows), 
821:2,0533[A  ]| As Members gave the sign about, 
821:2,0534[A  ]| Set up their throats with hideous shout; 
821:2,0535[A  ]| When tinkers bawled aloud to settle 
821:2,0536[A  ]| Church discipline, for patching kettle; 
821:2,0537[A  ]| No sow-gelder did blow his horn 
821:2,0538[A  ]| To geld a cat, but cried "Reform"; 
821:2,0539[A  ]| The oyster-women locked their fish up 
821:2,0540[A  ]| And trudged away to cry "No bishop"; 
821:2,0541[A  ]| The mousetrap-men laid save-alls by 
821:2,0542[A  ]| And 'gainst ev'l counsellors did cry; 
821:2,0543[A  ]| Botchers left old clothes in the lurch 
821:2,0544[A  ]| And fell to turn and patch the church; 
821:2,0545[A  ]| Some cried "The Covenant", instead 
821:2,0546[A  ]| Of "Pudding-pies and gingerbread", 
821:2,0547[A  ]| And some for broom, old boots and shoes, 
821:2,0548[A  ]| Bawled out to purge the Commons' House; 
821:2,0549[A  ]| Instead of "Kitchen-stuff", some cry 
821:2,0550[A  ]| "A gospel-preaching ministry", 
821:2,0551[A  ]| And some for old suits, coats or cloak, 
821:2,0552[A  ]| "No surplices nor service book".  
821:2,0553[A  ]| A strange harmonious inclination 
821:2,0554[A  ]| Of all degrees to reformation!  
821:2,0555[A  ]| And is this all?  Is this the end 
821:2,0556[A  ]| To which these carryings on did tend?  
821:2,0557[A  ]| Hath public faith like a young heir 
821:2,0558[A  ]| For this tak'n up all sorts of ware, 
821:2,0559[A  ]| And run int' every tradesman's book 
821:2,0560[A  ]| Till both turned bankrupts and are broke?  
821:2,0561[A  ]| Did saints for this bring in their plate 
821:2,0562[A  ]| And crowd as if they came too late?  
821:2,0563[A  ]| For when they thought the cause had need on't, 
821:2,0564[A  ]| Happy was he that cold be rid on't.  
821:2,0565[A  ]| Did they coin piss-pots, bowls and flagons 
821:2,0566[A  ]| Int'officers of horse and dragoons, 
821:2,0567[A  ]| And into pikes and musketeers 
821:2,0568[A  ]| Stamp beakers, cups and porringers?  
821:2,0569[A  ]| A thimble, bodkin and a spoon 
821:2,0570[A  ]| Did start up living men as soon 
821:2,0571[A  ]| As in the furnace they were thrown, 
821:2,0572[A  ]| Just like the dragon's teeth b'ing sown.  
821:2,0573[A  ]| Then was the cause all gold and plate, 
821:2,0574[A  ]| The brethren's off'rings, consecrate 
821:2,0575[A  ]| Like th'Hebrew calf, and down before it 
821:2,0576[A  ]| The saints fell prostrate to adore it.  
821:2,0577[A  ]| So say the wicked ~~ and will you 
821:2,0578[A  ]| Make that sarcasmous scandal true, 
821:2,0579[A  ]| By running after dogs and bears, 
821:2,0580[A  ]| Beasts more unclean than calves or steers?  
821:2,0581[A  ]| Have pow'rful prechers plied their tongues 
821:2,0582[A  ]| And laid themselves out and their lungs; 
821:2,0583[A  ]| Used all means, both direct and sinister, 
821:2,0584[A  ]| I'th' power of gospel-preaching minister?  
821:2,0585[A  ]| Have they invented tones to win 
821:2,0586[A  ]| The women, and make them draw in 
821:2,0587[A  ]| The men, as Indians with a female 
821:2,0588[A  ]| Tame elephant inveigle the male?  
821:2,0589[A  ]| Have they told prov'dence what it must do, 
821:2,0590[A  ]| Whom to avoid and whom to trust to?  
821:2,0591[A  ]| Discovered th'enemy's design, 
821:2,0592[A  ]| And which way best to countermine; 
821:2,0593[A  ]| Prescribed what ways it hath to work, 
821:2,0594[A  ]| Or it will ne'er advance the kirk; 
821:2,0595[A  ]| Told it the news o'th' last express, 
821:2,0596[A  ]| And, after good or bad success, 
821:2,0597[A  ]| Made prayers, not so like petitions 
821:2,0598[A  ]| As overtures and propositions 
821:2,0599[A  ]| (Such as the army did present 
821:2,0600[A  ]| To their creator, th'parliament) 
821:2,0601[A  ]| In which they freely will confess 
821:2,0602[A  ]| They will not, cannot acquiesce 
821:2,0603[A  ]| Unless the work be carried on 
821:2,0604[A  ]| In the same way they have begun, 
821:2,0605[A  ]| By setting church and commonweal 
821:2,0606[A  ]| All on a flame bright as their zeal 
821:2,0607[A  ]| On which the saints were all agog ~~ 
821:2,0608[A  ]| And all this for a bear and dog?  
821:2,0609[A  ]| The parliament drew up petitions 
821:2,0610[A  ]| T'itself, and sent them, like commisions, 
821:2,0611[A  ]| To well-affected persons down 
821:2,0612[A  ]| In every city and great town, 
821:2,0613[A  ]| With power to levy horse and men, 
821:2,0614[A  ]| Only to bring them back again.  
821:2,0615[A  ]| For this did many, many a mile, 
821:2,0616[A  ]| Ride manfully in rank and file 
821:2,0617[A  ]| With papers in their hats that showed 
821:2,0618[A  ]| As if they to the pillory rode.  
821:2,0619[A  ]| Have all these courses, these efforts, 
821:2,0620[A  ]| Been tried by people of all sorts, 
821:2,0621[A  ]| \7Velis 7et 7remis, 7omnibus 7nervis,\ 
821:2,0622[A  ]| And all t'advance the cause's service?  
821:2,0623[A  ]| And shall all now be thrown away 
821:2,0624[A  ]| In petulant intestine fray?  
821:2,0625[A  ]| Shall we that in the Covenant swore 
821:2,0626[A  ]| Each man of us to run before 
821:2,0627[A  ]| Another still in reformation, 
821:2,0628[A  ]| Give dogs and bears a dispensation?  
821:2,0629[A  ]| How will disenting brethren relish it?  
821:2,0630[A  ]| What will malignants say?  \7Videlicet\, 
821:2,0631[A  ]| That each man swore to do his best 
821:2,0632[A  ]| To damn and perjure all the rest, 
821:2,0633[A  ]| And bid the devil take the hinmost, 
821:2,0634[A  ]| Which at this race is like to win most.  
821:2,0635[A  ]| They'll say our business to reform 
821:2,0636[A  ]| The church and state is but a worm; 
821:2,0637[A  ]| For to subscribe, unsight, unseen, 
821:2,0638[A  ]| T'an unknown church's discipline 
821:2,0639[A  ]| What is it else but beforehand 
821:2,0640[A  ]| T'engage, and after understand?  
821:2,0641[A  ]| For when we swore to carry on 
821:2,0642[A  ]| The present reformation 
821:2,0643[A  ]| According to the purest mode 
821:2,0644[A  ]| Of churches best-reformed abroad, 
821:2,0645[A  ]| What did we else but make a vow 
821:2,0646[A  ]| To do we know not what nor how?  
821:2,0647[A  ]| For no three of us will agree 
821:2,0648[A  ]| Where, or what churches these should be, 
821:2,0649[A  ]| And is, indeed, the self-same case 
821:2,0650[A  ]| With theirs that swore Etceteras, 
821:2,0651[A  ]| Or the French League, in which men vowed 
821:2,0652[A  ]| To fight to the last drop of blood.  
821:2,0653[A  ]| These slanders will be thrown upon 
821:2,0654[A  ]| The cause and work we carry on, 
821:2,0655[A  ]| If we permit men to run headlong 
821:2,0656[A  ]| T'exorbitancies fit for Bedlam, 
821:2,0657[A  ]| Rather than gospel-walking times 
821:2,0658[A  ]| When slightest sins are greatest crimes.  
821:2,0659[A  ]| But we the matter so shall handle 
821:2,0660[A  ]| As to remove that odious scandal.  
821:2,0661[A  ]| In name of king and parliament 
821:2,0662[A  ]| I charge ye all, no more foment 
821:2,0663[A  ]| This feud, but keep the peace between 
821:2,0664[A  ]| Your brethren and your countrymen, 
821:2,0665[A  ]| And to those places straight repair 
821:2,0666[A  ]| Where your respective dwellings are.  
821:2,0667[A  ]| But, to that purpose, first surrender 
821:2,0668[A  ]| The fiddler, as the prime offender, 
821:2,0669[A  ]| Th'incendiary vile that is chief 
821:2,0670[A  ]| Author and engineer of mischief, 
821:2,0671[A  ]| That makes division between friends 
821:2,0672[A  ]| For profane and malignant ends.  
821:2,0673[A  ]| He and that engine of vile noise 
821:2,0674[A  ]| On which illegally he plays 
821:2,0675[A  ]| Shall (\7dictum 7factum\) both be brought 
821:2,0676[A  ]| To condign punishment, as th'ought.  
821:2,0677[A  ]| This must be done, and I would fain see 
821:2,0678[A  ]| Mortal so sturdy as to gainsay; 
821:2,0679[A  ]| For then I'll take another course, 
821:2,0680[A  ]| And soon reduce you all by force."" 
821:2,0681['  ]| This said, he clapped his hand on sword 
821:2,0682['  ]| To show he meant to keep his word.  
821:2,0683['  ]| But Talgol, who had long suppressed 
821:2,0684['  ]| Enflamed wrath in glowing breast, 
821:2,0685['  ]| Which now began to rage and burn as 
821:2,0686['  ]| Implacably as flame in furnace, 
821:2,0687['  ]| Thus answered him:
821:2,0687[D  ]| ""Thou vermin wretched 
821:2,0688[D  ]| As e'er in measled pork was hatched!  
821:2,0689[D  ]| Thou tail of worship that dost grow 
821:2,0690[D  ]| On rump of justice as of cow!  
821:2,0691[D  ]| How darest thou, with that sullen luggage 
821:2,0692[D  ]| O'thyself, old iron and other baggage, 
821:2,0693[D  ]| With which thy steed of bones and leather 
821:2,0694[D  ]| Has broke his wind in halting hither, 
821:2,0695[D  ]| How darest th', I say, adventure thus 
821:2,0696[D  ]| T'oppose thy lumber against us?  
821:2,0697[D  ]| Could thine impertinence find out 
821:2,0698[D  ]| No work t'employ itself about, 
821:2,0699[D  ]| Where thou, secure from wooden blow, 
821:2,0700[D  ]| Thy busy vanity might'st show?  
821:2,0701[D  ]| Was no dispute afoot between 
821:2,0702[D  ]| The caterwauling bretheren?  
821:2,0703[D  ]| No subtle question raised among 
821:2,0704[D  ]| Those out o'their wits and those i'th' wrong?  
821:2,0705[D  ]| No prize between those combatants 
821:2,0706[D  ]| O'th' times, the land and water saints, 
821:2,0707[D  ]| Where thou might'st stickle without hazard 
821:2,0708[D  ]| Of outrage to thy die and mazard, 
821:2,0709[D  ]| And not for want of business come 
821:2,0710[D  ]| To us to be thus troublesome; 
821:2,0711[D  ]| To interrupt our better sort 
821:2,0712[D  ]| Of disputants, and spoil our sport?  
821:2,0713[D  ]| Was there no felony, no bawd, 
821:2,0714[D  ]| Cutpurse nor burglary abroad?  
821:2,0715[D  ]| No stolen pig nor plundered goose 
821:2,0716[D  ]| To tie thee up from breaking loose?  
821:2,0717[D  ]| No ale unlicensed, broken hedge, 
821:2,0718[D  ]| For which thou statute might'st allege, 
821:2,0719[D  ]| To keep thee busy from foul evil 
821:2,0720[D  ]| And shame due to thee from the devil?  
821:2,0721[D  ]| Did no committee sit, where he 
821:2,0722[D  ]| Might cut out journey-work for thee, 
821:2,0723[D  ]| And set th'a task with subornation 
821:2,0724[D  ]| To stitch up sale and sequestration, 
821:2,0725[D  ]| To cheat with holiness and zeal 
821:2,0726[D  ]| All parties and the commonweal?  
821:2,0727[D  ]| Much better had it been for thee 
821:2,0728[D  ]| He'd kept thee where th'art used to be, 
821:2,0729[D  ]| Or sent th'on business any whither, 
821:2,0730[D  ]| So he had never brought thee hither.  
821:2,0731[D  ]| But if thou'st brain enough in skull 
821:2,0732[D  ]| To keep within its lodging whole, 
821:2,0733[D  ]| And not provoke the rage of stones 
821:2,0734[D  ]| And cudgels to thy hide and bones, 
821:2,0735[D  ]| Tremble, and vanish while thou may'st, 
821:2,0736[D  ]| Which I'll not promise if thou stay'st."" 
821:2,0737['  ]| At this the knight grew high in wroth 
821:2,0738['  ]| And, lifting hands and eyes up both, 
821:2,0739['  ]| Three times he smote on stomach stout, 
821:2,0740['  ]| From whence at length these words broke out:  
821:2,0741[A  ]| ""Was I for this entitled Sir, 
821:2,0742[A  ]| And girt with trusty sword and spur, 
821:2,0743[A  ]| For fame and honour to wage battle, 
821:2,0744[A  ]| Thus to be braved by foe to cattle?  
821:2,0745[A  ]| Not all that pride that makes thee swell 
821:2,0746[A  ]| As big as thou dost blow-up veal; 
821:2,0747[A  ]| Nor all thy tricks and sleights to cheat, 
821:2,0748[A  ]| And sell thy carrion for good meat; 
821:2,0749[A  ]| Not all thy magic to repair 
821:2,0750[A  ]| Decayed old age in tough, lean ware, 
821:2,0751[A  ]| Make natural death appear thy work, 
821:2,0752[A  ]| And stop the gangrene in stale pork; 
821:2,0753[A  ]| Not all that force that makes thee proud, 
821:2,0754[A  ]| Because thy bullock ne'er withstood, 
821:2,0755[A  ]| Though armed with all thy cleavers, knives 
821:2,0756[A  ]| And axes made to hew down lives, 
821:2,0757[A  ]| Shall save or help thee to evade 
821:2,0758[A  ]| The hand of justice or this blade, 
821:2,0759[A  ]| Which I, her sword-bearer, do carry 
821:2,0760[A  ]| For civil deed and military; 
821:2,0761[A  ]| Nor shall these words of venom base, 
821:2,0762[A  ]| Which thou hast from their native place, 
821:2,0763[A  ]| Thy stomach, pumped to fling on me, 
821:2,0764[A  ]| Go unrevenged, though I am free.  
821:2,0765[A  ]| Thou down the same throat shalt devour 'em, 
821:2,0766[A  ]| Like tainted beef, and pay dear for 'em.  
821:2,0767[A  ]| Nor shall it e'er be said that wight 
821:2,0768[A  ]| With gauntlet blue and bases white, 
821:2,0769[A  ]| And round, blunt dudgeon by his side, 
821:2,0770[A  ]| So great a man at arms defied 
821:2,0771[A  ]| With words far bitterer than wormwood, 
821:2,0772[A  ]| That would in Job or Grizel stir mood.  
821:2,0773[A  ]| Dogs with their tongues their wounds do heal, 
821:2,0774[A  ]| But men with hands, as thou shalt feel."" 
821:2,0775['  ]| This said, with hasty rage he snatched 
821:2,0776['  ]| His gun-shot, that in holster watched, 
821:2,0777['  ]| And, bending cock, he levelled full 
821:2,0778['  ]| Against th'outside of Talgol's skull, 
821:2,0779['  ]| Vowing that he should ne'er stir further, 
821:2,0780['  ]| Nor henceforth cow or bullock murther.  
821:2,0781['  ]| But Pallas came in shape of rust, 
821:2,0782['  ]| And 'twixt the spring and hammer thrust 
821:2,0783['  ]| Her Gorgon shield, which made the cock 
821:2,0784['  ]| Stand stiff, as if 'twere turned t'a stock.  
821:2,0785['  ]| Meanwhile fierce Talgol, gath'ring might, 
821:2,0786['  ]| With rugged truncheon charged the knight, 
821:2,0787['  ]| And he his rusty pistol held 
821:2,0788['  ]| To take the blow on, like a shield.  
821:2,0789['  ]| The gun recoiled, as well it might, 
821:2,0790['  ]| Not used to such a kind of fight, 
821:2,0791['  ]| And shrunk from its great master's gripe, 
821:2,0792['  ]| Knocked down and stunned with mortal stripe.  
821:2,0793['  ]| Then Hudibras with furious haste 
821:2,0794['  ]| Drew out his sword, yet not so fast 
821:2,0795['  ]| But Talgol first with hardy thwack 
821:2,0796['  ]| Twice bruised his head and twice his back.  
821:2,0797['  ]| But when his nut-brown sword was out, 
821:2,0798['  ]| Courageously he laid about, 
821:2,0799['  ]| Imprinting many a wound upon 
821:2,0800['  ]| His mortal foe, the truncheon.  
821:2,0801['  ]| The trusty cudgel did oppose 
821:2,0802['  ]| Itself against dead-doing blows, 
821:2,0803['  ]| To guard its leader from fell bane, 
821:2,0804['  ]| And then revenged itself again.  
821:2,0805['  ]| And though the sword, some understood, 
821:2,0806['  ]| In force had much the odds of wood, 
821:2,0807['  ]| 'Twas nothing so:  both sides were ballanced 
821:2,0808['  ]| So equal, none knew which was valiant'st.  
821:2,0809['  ]| For wood with honour being engaged 
821:2,0810['  ]| Is so implacably enraged, 
821:2,0811['  ]| Though iron hew and mangle more, 
821:2,0812['  ]| Wood wounds and bruises honour more.  
821:2,0813['  ]| And now both knights were out of breath, 
821:2,0814['  ]| Tired in the hot pursuit of death, 
821:2,0815['  ]| While all the rest, amazed, stood still, 
821:2,0816['  ]| Expecting which should take or kill.  
821:2,0817['  ]| This Hudibras observed, and fretting 
821:2,0818['  ]| Conquest should be so long a-getting, 
821:2,0819['  ]| He drew up all his force into 
821:2,0820['  ]| One body, and that into one blow.  
821:2,0821['  ]| But Talgol wisely avoided it 
821:2,0822['  ]| By cunning sleight; for, had it hit, 
821:2,0823['  ]| The upper part of him the blow 
821:2,0824['  ]| Had slit, as sure as that below.  
821:2,0825['  ]| Meanwhile th'incomparable Colon 
821:2,0826['  ]| To aid his friend began to fall on.  
821:2,0827['  ]| Him Ralph encountered, and straight grew 
821:2,0828['  ]| A fierce dispute betwixt them two, 
821:2,0829['  ]| Th'one armed with metal, th'other wood; 
821:2,0830['  ]| This fit for bruise and that for blood.  
821:2,0831['  ]| With many a stiff thwack, many a bang, 
821:2,0832['  ]| Hard crab-tree and old iron rang, 
821:2,0833['  ]| While none that saw them could divine 
821:2,0834['  ]| to which side conquest would incline, 
821:2,0835['  ]| Until Magnano, who did envy 
821:2,0836['  ]| That two should with so many men vie, 
821:2,0837['  ]| By subtle stratagem of brain 
821:2,0838['  ]| Performed what force could ne'er attain.  
821:2,0839['  ]| For he, by foul hap having found 
821:2,0840['  ]| Where thistles grew on barren ground, 
821:2,0841['  ]| In haste he drew his weapon out 
821:2,0842['  ]| And, having cropped them from the root, 
821:2,0843['  ]| He clapped them under th'horse's tail 
821:2,0844['  ]| With prickles sharper than a nail.  
821:2,0845['  ]| The angry did beast straight resent 
821:2,0846['  ]| The wrong done to his fundament, 
821:2,0847['  ]| Began to kick and fling and wince, 
821:2,0848['  ]| As if he'd been beside his sense, 
821:2,0849['  ]| Striving to disengage from smart 
821:2,0850['  ]| And raging pain th'afflicted part.  
821:2,0851['  ]| Instead of which he threw the pack 
821:2,0852['  ]| Of squire and baggage from his back, 
821:2,0853['  ]| And, blund'ring still, with smarting rump, 
821:2,0854['  ]| He gave the chapion's steed a thump 
821:2,0855['  ]| That staggered him.  The knight did stoop 
821:2,0856['  ]| And sat on further side aslope.  
821:2,0857['  ]| This Talgol viewing, who had now 
821:2,0858['  ]| By flight escaped the fatal blow, 
821:2,0859['  ]| He rallied, and again fell to't; 
821:2,0860['  ]| For, catching him by nearer foot, 
821:2,0861['  ]| He lifted with such might and strength 
821:2,0862['  ]| As would have hurled him thrice his length 
821:2,0863['  ]| And dashed his brains (if any) out.  
821:2,0864['  ]| But Mars, that still protects the stout, 
821:2,0865['  ]| In pudding-time came to his aid 
821:2,0866['  ]| And under him the bear conveyed; 
821:2,0867['  ]| The bear, upon whose soft fur gown 
821:2,0868['  ]| The knight with all his weight fell down.  
821:2,0869['  ]| The friendly rug preserved the ground 
821:2,0870['  ]| And headlong knight from bruise or wound, 
821:2,0871['  ]| Like feather bed betwixt a wall 
821:2,0872['  ]| And heavy brunt of cannon-ball.  
821:2,0873['  ]| As Sancho on a blanket fell 
821:2,0874['  ]| And had no hurt, ours fared as well 
821:2,0875['  ]| In body, though his mighty spirit, 
821:2,0876['  ]| B'ing heavy, did not so well bear it.  
821:2,0877['  ]| The bear was in a greater fright, 
821:2,0878['  ]| Beat down and worsted by the knight.  
821:2,0879['  ]| He roared and raged and flung about 
821:2,0880['  ]| To shake off bondage from his snout.  
821:2,0881['  ]| His wrath, enflamed, boiled o'er, and from 
821:2,0882['  ]| His jaws of death he threw the foam.  
821:2,0883['  ]| Fury in stranger postures threw him, 
821:2,0884['  ]| And more, than ever herald drew him.  
821:2,0885['  ]| He tore the earth, which he had saved 
821:2,0886['  ]| From squelch of knight, and stormed and raved, 
821:2,0887['  ]| And vexed the more, because the harms 
821:2,0888['  ]| He felt were 'gainst the Law of Arms; 
821:2,0889['  ]| For men he always took to be 
821:2,0890['  ]| His friends, and dogs the enemy, 
821:2,0891['  ]| Who never so much hurt had done him 
821:2,0892['  ]| As his own side by falling on him.  
821:2,0893['  ]| It grieved him to the guts that they 
821:2,0894['  ]| For whom he'd fought so many a fray, 
821:2,0895['  ]| And served with loss of blood so long, 
821:2,0896['  ]| Should offer such inhuman wrong, 
821:2,0897['  ]| Wrong of unsoldier-like conditon, 
821:2,0898['  ]| For which he flung down his commission, 
821:2,0899['  ]| And laid about him, till his nose 
821:2,0900['  ]| From thrall of ring and cord broke loose.  
821:2,0901['  ]| Soon as he felt himself enlarged, 
821:2,0902['  ]| Through thickest of his foes he charged, 
821:2,0903['  ]| And made way through th'amazed crew.  
821:2,0904['  ]| Some he o'erran and some o'erthrew, 
821:2,0905['  ]| But took none; for, by hasty flight, 
821:2,0906['  ]| He strove t'avoid the conquering knight, 
821:2,0907['  ]| From whom he fled with as much haste 
821:2,0908['  ]| And dread as he the rabble chased.  
821:2,0909['  ]| In haste he fled, and so did they, 
821:2,0910['  ]| Each of his fear a several way.  
821:2,0911['  ]| Crowdero only kept the field, 
821:2,0912['  ]| Not stirring from the place he held, 
821:2,0913['  ]| Though beaten down and wounded sore 
821:2,0914['  ]| I'th' fiddle, and a leg that bore 
821:2,0915['  ]| One side of him, not that of bone, 
821:2,0916['  ]| But, much its betters, th'wooden one.  
821:2,0917['  ]| He, spying Hudibras lie strowed 
821:2,0918['  ]| Upon the ground like log of wood, 
821:2,0919['  ]| With fright of fall, supposed wound, 
821:2,0920['  ]| And loss of urine, in a swound, 
821:2,0921['  ]| In haste he snatched the wooden limb 
821:2,0922['  ]| That, hurt in th'ankle, lay by him, 
821:2,0923['  ]| And, fitting it for sudden fight, 
821:2,0924['  ]| Straight drew it up t'attack the knight.  
821:2,0925['  ]| For, getting up on stump and huckle, 
821:2,0926['  ]| He with the foe began to buckle, 
821:2,0927['  ]| Vowing to be revenged for breach 
821:2,0928['  ]| Of crowd and shin upon the wretch, 
821:2,0929['  ]| Sole author of all detriment 
821:2,0930['  ]| He and his fiddle underwent.  
821:2,0931['  ]| But Ralpho (who had now begun 
821:2,0932['  ]| T'adventure resurrection 
821:2,0933['  ]| From heavy squelch, and had got up 
821:2,0934['  ]| Upon his legs with sprained crup), 
821:2,0935['  ]| Looking about, beheld the bard 
821:2,0936['  ]| To charge the knight entranced prepared.  
821:2,0937['  ]| He snatched his whinyard up, that fled 
821:2,0938['  ]| When he was falling off his steed 
821:2,0939['  ]| (As rats do from a falling house) 
821:2,0940['  ]| To hide itself from rage of blows, 
821:2,0941['  ]| And, winged with speed and fury, flew 
821:2,0942['  ]| To rescue knight from black and blue.  
821:2,0943['  ]| Which e'er he could achieve, his sconce 
821:2,0944['  ]| The leg encountered twice and once, 
821:2,0945['  ]| And now 'twas raised to smite again, 
821:2,0946['  ]| When Ralpho thrust himself between.  
821:2,0947['  ]| He took the blow upon his arm 
821:2,0948['  ]| To shield the knight from further harm 
821:2,0949['  ]| And, joining wrath with force, bestowed 
821:2,0950['  ]| On th'wooden member such a load 
821:2,0951['  ]| That down it fell, and with it bore 
821:2,0952['  ]| Crowdero, whom it propped before.  
821:2,0953['  ]| To him the squire right nimbly run 
821:2,0954['  ]| And, setting his bold foot upon 
821:2,0955['  ]| His trunk, thus spoke:
821:2,0955[B  ]| ""What desperate frenzy 
821:2,0956[B  ]| Made thee, thou whelp of sin, to fancy 
821:2,0957[B  ]| Thyself and all that coward rabble 
821:2,0958[B  ]| T'encounter us in battle able?  
821:2,0959[B  ]| How durst th', I say, oppose thy curship 
821:2,0960[B  ]| 'Gainst arms, authority and worship?  
821:2,0961[B  ]| And Hudibras or me provoke, 
821:2,0962[B  ]| Though all thy limbs were heart of oak, 
821:2,0963[B  ]| And th'other half of thee as good 
821:2,0964[B  ]| To bear out blows as that of wood?  
821:2,0965[B  ]| Could not the whipping-post prevail 
821:2,0966[B  ]| With all its rhetoric, nor the gaol, 
821:2,0967[B  ]| To keep from flaying scourge thy skin, 
821:2,0968[B  ]| And ankle free from iron gin?  
821:2,0969[B  ]| Which now thou shalt ~~ but first our care 
821:2,0970[B  ]| Must see how Hudibras doth fare."" 
821:2,0971['  ]| This said, he gently raised the knight 
821:2,0972['  ]| And set him on his bum upright.  
821:2,0973['  ]| To rouse him from lethargic dump, 
821:2,0974['  ]| He tweaked his nose with gentle thump, 
821:2,0975['  ]| Knocked on his breast, as if't had been 
821:2,0976['  ]| To raise the spirits lodged within.  
821:2,0977['  ]| They, wakened with the noise, did fly 
821:2,0978['  ]| From inward room to window eye 
821:2,0979['  ]| And gently opening lid, the casement, 
821:2,0980['  ]| Looked out, but yet with some amazement.  
821:2,0981['  ]| This gladded Ralpho much to see, 
821:2,0982['  ]| Who thus bespoke the knight:  quoth he, 
821:2,0983['  ]| Tweaking his nose,
821:2,0983[B  ]| ""You are, great sir, 
821:2,0984[B  ]| A self-denying conqueror.  
821:2,0985[B  ]| As high, victorious and great 
821:2,0986[B  ]| As e'er fought for the churches yet, 
821:2,0987[B  ]| If you will give yourself but leave 
821:2,0988[B  ]| To make out what y'already have, 
821:2,0989[B  ]| That's victory.  The foe, for dread 
821:2,0990[B  ]| Of your nine-worthiness, is fled, 
821:2,0991[B  ]| All save Crowdero, for whose sake 
821:2,0992[B  ]| You did th'espoused cause undertake, 
821:2,0993[B  ]| And he lies prisoner at your feet, 
821:2,0994[B  ]| To be disposed as you think meet, 
821:2,0995[B  ]| Either for life, or death, or sale, 
821:2,0996[B  ]| The gallows, or perpetual gaol; 
821:2,0997[B  ]| For one wink of your powerful eye 
821:2,0998[B  ]| Must sentence him to live or die.  
821:2,0999[B  ]| His fiddle is your proper purchase, 
821:2,1000[B  ]| Won in the service of the churches, 
821:2,1001[B  ]| And by your doom must be allowed 
821:2,1002[B  ]| To be or be no more a crowd, 
821:2,1003[B  ]| For though success did not confer 
821:2,1004[B  ]| Just title on the conquerer; 
821:2,1005[B  ]| Though dissipations were not strong 
821:2,1006[B  ]| Conclusions whether right or wrong; 
821:2,1007[B  ]| Although outgoings did not confirm, 
821:2,1008[B  ]| And owning were but a mere term; 
821:2,1009[B  ]| Yet, as the wicked have no right 
821:2,1010[B  ]| To th'creature, though usurped by might, 
821:2,1011[B  ]| The property is in the saint, 
821:2,1012[B  ]| From whom th'injuriously detain 't.  
821:2,1013[B  ]| Of him they hold their luxuries, 
821:2,1014[B  ]| Their dogs, their horses, whores and dice, 
821:2,1015[B  ]| Their riots, revels, masques, delights, 
821:2,1016[B  ]| Pimps, buffoons, fiddlers, parasites, 
821:2,1017[B  ]| All which the saints have title to, 
821:2,1018[B  ]| And ought t'enjoy, if they'd their due.  
821:2,1019[B  ]| What we take from them is no more 
821:2,1020[B  ]| Than what was ours by right before.  
821:2,1021[B  ]| For we are their true landlords still, 
821:2,1022[B  ]| And they our tenants but at will."" 
821:2,1023['  ]| At this the knight begun to rouse 
821:2,1024['  ]| And by degrees grow valorous.  
821:2,1025['  ]| He stared about, and seeing none 
821:2,1026['  ]| Of all his foes remain but one, 
821:2,1027['  ]| He snatched his weapon that lay near him, 
821:2,1028['  ]| And from the ground began to rear him, 
821:2,1029['  ]| Vowing to make Crowdero pay 
821:2,1030['  ]| For all the rest that ran away.  
821:2,1031['  ]| But Ralpho now in colder blood 
821:2,1032['  ]| His fury mildly thus withstood:  
821:2,1033[B  ]| ""Great sir,""
821:2,1033['  ]| quoth he,
821:2,1033[B  ]| ""your mighty spirit 
821:2,1034[B  ]| Is raised too high.  This slave does merit 
821:2,1035[B  ]| To be the hangman's business, sooner 
821:2,1036[B  ]| Than from your hand to have the honour 
821:2,1037[B  ]| Of his destruction.  I that am 
821:2,1038[B  ]| So much below in deed and name, 
821:2,1039[B  ]| Did scorn to hurt his forfeit carcass, 
821:2,1040[B  ]| Or ill entreat his fiddle or case.  
821:2,1041[B  ]| Will you, great sir, that glory blot 
821:2,1042[B  ]| In cold blood which you gained in hot?  
821:2,1043[B  ]| Will you employ your conquering sword 
821:2,1044[B  ]| To break a fiddle and your word?  
821:2,1045[B  ]| For though I fought and overcame 
821:2,1046[B  ]| And quarter gave, 'twas in your name.  
821:2,1047[B  ]| For great commanders always own 
821:2,1048[B  ]| What's prosperous by the soldier done.  
821:2,1049[B  ]| To save, where you have power to kill, 
821:2,1050[B  ]| Argues your power above your will, 
821:2,1051[B  ]| And that you will and power have less 
821:2,1052[B  ]| Than both might have of selfishness.  
821:2,1053[B  ]| This power, which now alive with dread 
821:2,1054[B  ]| He trembles at, if he were dead 
821:2,1055[B  ]| Would no more keep the slave in awe 
821:2,1056[B  ]| Than if you were a knight of straw; 
821:2,1057[B  ]| For death would then be his conqueror, 
821:2,1058[B  ]| Not you, and free him from that terror.  
821:2,1059[B  ]| If danger from his life accrue, 
821:2,1060[B  ]| Or honour from his death to you, 
821:2,1061[B  ]| 'Twere policy and honour too 
821:2,1062[B  ]| To do as you resolved to do.  
821:2,1063[B  ]| But, sir, 'twould wrong your valour much 
821:2,1064[B  ]| To say it needs or fears a crutch.  
821:2,1065[B  ]| Great conquerors greater glory gain 
821:2,1066[B  ]| By foes in triumph led than slain.  
821:2,1067[B  ]| The laurels that adorn their brows 
821:2,1068[B  ]| Are pulled from living, not dead boughs, 
821:2,1069[B  ]| And living foes.  The greatest fame 
821:2,1070[B  ]| Of cripple slain can be but lame.  
821:2,1071[B  ]| One half of him's already slain, 
821:2,1072[B  ]| The other is not worth your pain.  
821:2,1073[B  ]| Th'honour can but on one side light, 
821:2,1074[B  ]| As worship did when y'were dubbed knight.  
821:2,1075[B  ]| Wherefore I think it better far 
821:2,1076[B  ]| To keep him prisoner of war, 
821:2,1077[B  ]| And let him fast in bonds abide, 
821:2,1078[B  ]| At court of justice to be tried, 
821:2,1079[B  ]| Where, if h'appear so bold or crafty, 
821:2,1080[B  ]| There may be danger in his safety.  
821:2,1081[B  ]| If any member there dislike 
821:2,1082[B  ]| His face, or to his beard have pike; 
821:2,1083[B  ]| Of if his death will save, or yield, 
821:2,1084[B  ]| Revenge, or fright, it is revealed.  
821:2,1085[B  ]| Though he has quarter, ne'ertheless 
821:2,1086[B  ]| You've power to hang him when you please.  
821:2,1087[B  ]| This hath been often done by some 
821:2,1088[B  ]| Of our great conquerors (you know whom), 
821:2,1089[B  ]| And has by most of us been held 
821:2,1090[B  ]| Wise justice, and to some revealed.  
821:2,1091[B  ]| For words and promises that yoke 
821:2,1092[B  ]| The conqueror are quickly broke, 
821:2,1093[B  ]| Like Samson's cuffs, though by his own 
821:2,1094[B  ]| Direction and advice put on.  
821:2,1095[B  ]| For if we should fight for the cause 
821:2,1096[B  ]| By rules of military laws, 
821:2,1097[B  ]| And only do what they call just, 
821:2,1098[B  ]| The cause would quickly fall to dust.  
821:2,1099[B  ]| This among ourselves may speak, 
821:2,1100[B  ]| But to the wicked or the weak 
821:2,1101[B  ]| We must be cautious to declare 
821:2,1102[B  ]| Perfection truths, such as these are."" 
821:2,1103['  ]| This said, the high outrageous mettle 
821:2,1104['  ]| Of knight began to cool and settle.  
821:2,1105['  ]| He liked the squire's advice, and soon  
821:2,1106['  ]| Resolved to see the business done, 
821:2,1107['  ]| And therefore charged him first to bind 
821:2,1108['  ]| Crowdero's hands on rump behind, 
821:2,1109['  ]| And to its former place and use 
821:2,1110['  ]| The wooden member to reduce, 
821:2,1111['  ]| But force it take an oath before 
821:2,1112['  ]| Ne'er to bear arms against him more.  
821:2,1113['  ]| Ralpho despatched with speedy haste, 
821:2,1114['  ]| And having tied Crowdero fast, 
821:2,1115['  ]| He gave Sir*Knight the end of cord 
821:2,1116['  ]| To lead the captive of his sword 
821:2,1117['  ]| In triumph, while the steeds he caught, 
821:2,1118['  ]| And them to further service brought.  
821:2,1119['  ]| The squire in state rode on before, 
821:2,1120['  ]| And on his nut-brown whinyard bore 
821:2,1121['  ]| The trophy fiddle and the case, 
821:2,1122['  ]| Placed on his shoulder like a mace.  
821:2,1123['  ]| The knight himself did after ride, 
821:2,1124['  ]| Leading Crowdero by his side, 
821:2,1125['  ]| And towed him if he lagged behind, 
821:2,1126['  ]| Like boat against the tide and wind.  
821:2,1127['  ]| Thus grave and solemn they march on 
821:2,1128['  ]| Until quite through the town they'd gone, 
821:2,1129['  ]| At further end of which there stands 
821:2,1130['  ]| An ancient castle that commands 
821:2,1131['  ]| Th'adjacent parts.  In all the fabric  
821:2,1132['  ]| You shall not see one stone nor a brick, 
821:2,1133['  ]| But all of wood, by powerful spell 
821:2,1134['  ]| Of magic made impregnable.  
821:2,1135['  ]| There's neither iron bar, nor gate, 
821:2,1136['  ]| Portcullis, chain, nor bolt, nor grate, 
821:2,1137['  ]| And yet men durance there abide 
821:2,1138['  ]| In dungeon scarce three inches wide, 
821:2,1139['  ]| With roof so low  that under it 
821:2,1140['  ]| They never stand, but lie or sit; 
821:2,1141['  ]| And yet so foul that whoso is in 
821:2,1142['  ]| Is to the middle leg in prison, 
821:2,1143['  ]| In circle magical confined 
821:2,1144['  ]| With walls of subtle air and wind, 
821:2,1145['  ]| Which none are able to break thorough 
821:2,1146['  ]| Until they're freed by head of borough.  
821:2,1147['  ]| Thither arrived, th'advent'rous knight 
821:2,1148['  ]| And bold squire from their steeds alight 
821:2,1149['  ]| At th'outward wall, near which there stands 
821:2,1150['  ]| A bastille built t'imprison hands, 
821:2,1151['  ]| By strange enchantment made to fetter 
821:2,1152['  ]| The lesser parts, and free the greater.  
821:2,1153['  ]| For, though the body may creep through, 
821:2,1154['  ]| The hands in grate are fast enough.  
821:2,1155['  ]| And when a circle 'bout the wrist 
821:2,1156['  ]| Is made by beadle exorcist, 
821:2,1157['  ]| The body feels the spur and switch 
821:2,1158['  ]| As if 'twere ridden post by witch 
821:2,1159['  ]| At twenty miles an houer pace, 
821:2,1160['  ]| And yet ne'er stirs out of the place.  
821:2,1161['  ]| On top of this there is a spire 
821:2,1162['  ]| On which Sir*Knight first bids the squire 
821:2,1163['  ]| The fiddle and its spoils, the case, 
821:2,1164['  ]| In manner of a trophy place.  
821:2,1165['  ]| That done, they ope the trap-door gate 
821:2,1166['  ]| And let Crowdero down thereat.  
821:2,1167['  ]| Crowdero making doleful face, 
821:2,1168['  ]| Like hermit poor in pensive place, 
821:2,1169['  ]| To dungeon they the wretch commit, 
821:2,1170['  ]| And the survivor of his feet.  
821:2,1171['  ]| But th'other, that had broke the peace, 
821:2,1172['  ]| And head of knighthood, they release.  
821:2,1173['  ]| Though a delinquent false and forged, 
821:2,1174['  ]| Yet, being a stranger, he's enlarged, 
821:2,1175['  ]| While his comrade that did no hurt 
821:2,1176['  ]| Is clapped up fast in prison for't.  
821:2,1177['  ]| So Justice, while she winks at crimes, 
821:2,1178['  ]| Stumbles on Innocence sometimes.  
821:3,0000['  ]| <CANTO III> 
821:3,0000['  ]| <THE ARGUMENT> 
821:3,0000['  ]| <\The scattered rout return and rally,\> 
821:3,0000['  ]| <\Surround the place; the knight does sally\> 
821:3,0000['  ]| <\And is made prisoner.  Then they seize\> 
821:3,0000['  ]| <\Th'enchanted fort by storm, release\> 
821:3,0000['  ]| <\Crowdero, and put the squire in's place.\> 
821:3,0000['  ]| <\I should have first said ""Hudibras"".\> 
821:3,0001['  ]| Ay me!  What perils do environ 
821:3,0002['  ]| The man that meddles with cold iron!  
821:3,0003['  ]| What plaguy mischiefs and mishaps 
821:3,0004['  ]| Do dog him still with after-claps!  
821:3,0005['  ]| For though Dame*Fortune seem to smile 
821:3,0006['  ]| And leer upon him for a while, 
821:3,0007['  ]| She'll after show him, in the nick 
821:3,0008['  ]| Of all his glories, a dog-trick.  
821:3,0009['  ]| This any man may sing or say 
821:3,0010['  ]| I'th' ditty called ""What if a day"".  
821:3,0011['  ]| For Hudibras, who thought he'd won 
821:3,0012['  ]| The field as certain as a gun, 
821:3,0013['  ]| And, having routed the whole troop, 
821:3,0014['  ]| With victory was cock-a-hoop; 
821:3,0015['  ]| Thinking he'd done enough to purchase 
821:3,0016['  ]| Thanksgiving*Day among the churches, 
821:3,0017['  ]| Wherein his mettle and brave worth 
821:3,0018['  ]| Might be explained by holder-forth, 
821:3,0019['  ]| And registered by fame eternal 
821:3,0020['  ]| In deathless pages of diurnal; 
821:3,0021['  ]| Found in few minutes, to his cost, 
821:3,0022['  ]| He did but count without his host, 
821:3,0023['  ]| And that a turnstile is more certain 
821:3,0024['  ]| Than, in events of war, Dame*Fortune.  
821:3,0025['  ]| For now the late faint-hearted rout, 
821:3,0026['  ]| O'erthrown and scattered round about, 
821:3,0027['  ]| Chased by the horror of their fear 
821:3,0028['  ]| From bloody fray of knight and bear 
821:3,0029['  ]| (All but the dogs, who in pursuit 
821:3,0030['  ]| Of the knight's victory, stood to 't, 
821:3,0031['  ]| And most ignobly sought to get 
821:3,0032['  ]| The honour of his blood and sweat), 
821:3,0033['  ]| Seeing the coast was free and clear 
821:3,0034['  ]| O'th' conquered and the conquerer, 
821:3,0035['  ]| Took heart again and faced about, 
821:3,0036['  ]| As if they meant to stand it out.  
821:3,0037['  ]| For now the half-defeated bear, 
821:3,0038['  ]| Attacked by th'enemy i'th' rear, 
821:3,0039['  ]| Finding their number grew too great 
821:3,0040['  ]| For him to make a safe retreat, 
821:3,0041['  ]| Like a bold chieftain faced about; 
821:3,0042['  ]| But, wisely doubting to hold out, 
821:3,0043['  ]| Gave way to fortune, and with haste 
821:3,0044['  ]| Faced the proud foe, and fled, and faced, 
821:3,0045['  ]| Retiring still until he found 
821:3,0046['  ]| He'd got th'advantage of the ground; 
821:3,0047['  ]| And then as valiantly made head 
821:3,0048['  ]| To check the foe, and forthwith fled, 
821:3,0049['  ]| Leaving no art untried, nor trick 
821:3,0050['  ]| Of warrior stout and politic; 
821:3,0051['  ]| Until, in spite of hot pursuit, 
821:3,0052['  ]| He gained a pass to hold dispute 
821:3,0053['  ]| On better terms, and stop the course 
821:3,0054['  ]| Of the proud foe.  With all his force 
821:3,0055['  ]| He bravely charged, and for a while 
821:3,0056['  ]| Forced their whole body to recoil; 
821:3,0057['  ]| But still their numbers so increased, 
821:3,0058['  ]| He found himself at length oppressed, 
821:3,0059['  ]| And all evasions so uncertain 
821:3,0060['  ]| To save himself for better fortune, 
821:3,0061['  ]| That he resolved, rather than yield, 
821:3,0062['  ]| To die with honour in the field, 
821:3,0063['  ]| And sell his hide and carcass at 
821:3,0064['  ]| A price as high and desperate 
821:3,0065['  ]| As e'er he could.  This resolution 
821:3,0066['  ]| He forthwith put in execution 
821:3,0067['  ]| And bravely threw himself among 
821:3,0068['  ]| The enemy i'th' greatest throng.  
821:3,0069['  ]| But what could single valour do 
821:3,0070['  ]| Against so numerous a foe?  
821:3,0071['  ]| Yet much he did, indeed too much 
821:3,0072['  ]| To be believed, where th'odds was such:  
821:3,0073['  ]| But one against a multitude 
821:3,0074['  ]| Is more than mortal can make good.  
821:3,0075['  ]| For while one party he opposed, 
821:3,0076['  ]| His rear was suddenly enclosed, 
821:3,0077['  ]| And no room left him for retreat 
821:3,0078['  ]| Or fight against a foe so great.  
821:3,0079['  ]| For now the mastiffs, charging home, 
821:3,0080['  ]| To blows and handy-grips were come, 
821:3,0081['  ]| While manfully himself he bore, 
821:3,0082['  ]| And, setting his right foot before, 
821:3,0083['  ]| He raised himself to show how tall 
821:3,0084['  ]| His person was above them all.  
821:3,0085['  ]| This equall shame and envy stirred 
821:3,0086['  ]| In th'enemy, that one should beard 
821:3,0087['  ]| So many warriors and so stout 
821:3,0088['  ]| As he had done, and stand it out, 
821:3,0089['  ]| Disdaining to lay down his arms 
821:3,0090['  ]| And yield on honourable terms.  
821:3,0091['  ]| Enraged thus, some in the rear 
821:3,0092['  ]| Attacked him, and some everywhere, 
821:3,0093['  ]| Till down he fell, yet, falling, fought, 
821:3,0094['  ]| And being down still laid about, 
821:3,0095['  ]| As Witherington in doleful dumps 
821:3,0096['  ]| Is said to fight upon his stumps.  
821:3,0097['  ]| But all, alas, had been in vain, 
821:3,0098['  ]| And he inevitably slain, 
821:3,0099['  ]| If Trulla and Cerdon in the nick 
821:3,0100['  ]| To rescue him had not been quick.  
821:3,0101['  ]| For Trulla, who was light of foot 
821:3,0102['  ]| As shafts which long-field Parthians shoot 
821:3,0103['  ]| (But not so light as to be borne 
821:3,0104['  ]| Upon the ears of standing corn, 
821:3,0105['  ]| Or trip it o'er the water quicker 
821:3,0106['  ]| Than witches when their staves they liquor, 
821:3,0107['  ]| As some report), was got among 
821:3,0108['  ]| The foremost of the martial throng, 
821:3,0109['  ]| Where, pitying the vanquished bear, 
821:3,0110['  ]| She called to Cerdon who stood near, 
821:3,0111['  ]| Viewing the bloody fight, to whom, 
821:3,0112[E  ]| ""Shall we,""
821:3,0112['  ]| quoth she,
821:3,0112[E  ]| ""stand still hum*drum, 
821:3,0113[E  ]| And see stout Bruin all alone 
821:3,0114[E  ]| By numbers basely overthrown?  
821:3,0115[E  ]| Such feats already he's achieved, 
821:3,0116[E  ]| In story not to be believed, 
821:3,0117[E  ]| And 'twould to us be shame enough 
821:3,0118[E  ]| Not to attempt to fetch him off."" 
821:3,0119[F  ]| ""I would,""
821:3,0119['  ]| quoth he,
821:3,0119[F  ]| ""venture a limb 
821:3,0120[F  ]| To second thee and rescue him; 
821:3,0121[F  ]| But then we must about it straight 
821:3,0122[F  ]| Or else our aid will come too late.  
821:3,0123[F  ]| Quarter he scorns, he is so stout, 
821:3,0124[F  ]| And therefore cannot long hold out."" 
821:3,0125['  ]| This said, they waved their weapons round 
821:3,0126['  ]| About their heads to clear the ground, 
821:3,0127['  ]| And, joining forces, laid about 
821:3,0128['  ]| So fiercely that th'amazed rout 
821:3,0129['  ]| Turned tail again, and straight begun 
821:3,0130['  ]| As if the devil drove, to run.  
821:3,0131['  ]| Meanwhile th'approached the place where Bruin 
821:3,0132['  ]| Was now engaged to mortal ruin.  
821:3,0133['  ]| The conquering foe they soon assailed; 
821:3,0134['  ]| First Trulla staved and Cerdon tailed 
821:3,0135['  ]| Until the mastiffs loosed their hold, 
821:3,0136['  ]| And yet, alas, do what they could, 
821:3,0137['  ]| The worsted bear came off with store 
821:3,0138['  ]| Of bloody wounds, but all before.  
821:3,0139['  ]| For as Achilles, dipped in pond, 
821:3,0140['  ]| Was anabaptized free from wound, 
821:3,0141['  ]| Made proof against dead-doing steel 
821:3,0142['  ]| All over but the pagan heel, 
821:3,0143['  ]| So did our champion's arms defend 
821:3,0144['  ]| All of him but the other end, 
821:3,0145['  ]| His head and ears, which in the martial 
821:3,0146['  ]| Encounter lost a leathern parcel.  
821:3,0147['  ]| For, as an Austrian archduke once 
821:3,0148['  ]| Had one ear (which in ducatoons 
821:3,0149['  ]| Is half the coin) in battle pared 
821:3,0150['  ]| Close to his head, so Bruin fared; 
821:3,0151['  ]| But tugged and pulled on th'other side, 
821:3,0152['  ]| Like scrivener newly crucified, 
821:3,0153['  ]| Or like the late-corrected leathern 
821:3,0154['  ]| Ears of the circumcised brethren.  
821:3,0155['  ]| But gentle Trulla into th'ring 
821:3,0156['  ]| He wore in 's nose conveyed a string, 
821:3,0157['  ]| With which she marched before, and led 
821:3,0158['  ]| The warrior to a grassy bed, 
821:3,0159['  ]| As authors write, in a cool shade 
821:3,0160['  ]| Which eglantine and roses made, 
821:3,0161['  ]| Close by a softly-murmuring stream 
821:3,0162['  ]| Where lovers used to loll and dream.  
821:3,0163['  ]| There leaving him to his repose, 
821:3,0164['  ]| Secured from pursuit of foes, 
821:3,0165['  ]| And wanting nothing but a song, 
821:3,0166['  ]| And a well-tuned theorbo hung 
821:3,0167['  ]| Upon a bough, to ease the pain 
821:3,0168['  ]| His tugged ears suffered, with a strain, 
821:3,0169['  ]| They both drew up to march in quest 
821:3,0170['  ]| Of his great leader and the rest.  
821:3,0171['  ]| For Orsin (who was more renowned 
821:3,0172['  ]| For stout maintaining of his ground 
821:3,0173['  ]| In standing fights than for pursuit, 
821:3,0174['  ]| As being not so quick of foot) 
821:3,0175['  ]| Was not long able to keep pace 
821:3,0176['  ]| With others that pursued the chase, 
821:3,0177['  ]| But found himself left far behind, 
821:3,0178['  ]| Both out of heart and out of wind; 
821:3,0179['  ]| Grieved to behold his bear pursued 
821:3,0180['  ]| So basely by a multitude, 
821:3,0181['  ]| And like to fall, not by the prowess, 
821:3,0182['  ]| But numbers of his coward foes.  
821:3,0183['  ]| He raged and kept as heavy a coil as 
821:3,0184['  ]| Stout Hercules for loss of Hylas, 
821:3,0185['  ]| Forcing the valleys to repeat 
821:3,0186['  ]| The accents of his sad regret.  
821:3,0187['  ]| He beat his breast and tore his hair 
821:3,0188['  ]| For loss of his dear crony bear, 
821:3,0189['  ]| That Echo from the hollow ground 
821:3,0190['  ]| His doleful wailing did resound 
821:3,0191['  ]| More wistfully by many times 
821:3,0192['  ]| Than in small poets' splay-foot rhymes, 
821:3,0193['  ]| That make her in their ruthful stories 
821:3,0194['  ]| To answer to inter'gatories, 
821:3,0195['  ]| And most unconscionably depose 
821:3,0196['  ]| To things of which she nothing knows, 
821:3,0197['  ]| And when she has said all she can say, 
821:3,0198['  ]| 'Tis wrested to the lover's fancy.  
821:3,0199['  ]| Quoth he,
821:3,0199[C  ]| ""O whither, wicked Bruin, 
821:3,0200[C  ]| Art thou fled to my ~~ ""
821:3,0200['  ]| Echo:
821:3,0200[V  ]| ""Ruin?"" 
821:3,0201[C  ]| ""I thought thou'dst scorned to budge a step 
821:3,0202[C  ]| For fear.""
821:3,0202['  ]| Quoth Echo,
821:3,0202[V  ]| ""Marry guep!"" 
821:3,0203[C  ]| ""Am not I here to take thy part?  
821:3,0204[C  ]| Then what has quailed thy stubborn heart?  
821:3,0205[C  ]| Have these bones rattled, and this head 
821:3,0206[C  ]| So often in thy quarrel bled?  
821:3,0207[C  ]| Nor did I ever winch or grudge it 
821:3,0208[C  ]| For thy dear sake.""
821:3,0208['  ]| Quoth she,
821:3,0208[V  ]| ""Mum budget!"" 
821:3,0209[C  ]| ""Think'st thou 'twill not be laid i'th' dish 
821:3,0210[C  ]| Thou turn'dst thy back?""
821:3,0210['  ]| Quoth Echo,
821:3,0210[V  ]| ""Pish!"" 
821:3,0211[C  ]| ""To run from those thou'dst overcome 
821:3,0212[C  ]| Thus cowardly?""
821:3,0212['  ]| Quoth Echo,
821:3,0212[V  ]| ""Mum!"" 
821:3,0213[C  ]| ""But what a vengeance makes thee fly 
821:3,0214[C  ]| From me too, as thine enemy?  
821:3,0215[C  ]| Or, if thou hast no thought of me, 
821:3,0216[C  ]| Nor what I have endured for thee, 
821:3,0217[C  ]| Yet shame and honour might prevail 
821:3,0218[C  ]| To keep thee thus from turning tail.  
821:3,0219[C  ]| For who would grudge to spend his blood in 
821:3,0220[C  ]| His honour's cause?""
821:3,0220['  ]| Quoth she,
821:3,0220[V  ]| ""A puddin!"" 
821:3,0221['  ]| This said, his grief to anger turned 
821:3,0222['  ]| Which in his manly stomach burned.  
821:3,0223['  ]| Thirst of revenge, and wrath, in place 
821:3,0224['  ]| Of sorrow now began to blaze.  
821:3,0225['  ]| He vowed the authors of his woe 
821:3,0226['  ]| Should equal vengeance undergo, 
821:3,0227['  ]| And with their bones and flesh pay dear 
821:3,0228['  ]| For what he suffered, and his bear.  
821:3,0229['  ]| This being resolved, with equal speed 
821:3,0230['  ]| And rage he hasted to proceed 
821:3,0231['  ]| To action straight, and giving o'er 
821:3,0232['  ]| To search for Bruin any more, 
821:3,0233['  ]| He went in quest of Hudibras, 
821:3,0234['  ]| To find him out, where e'er he was, 
821:3,0235['  ]| And if he were above ground, vowed 
821:3,0236['  ]| He'd ferret him, lurk where he would.  
821:3,0237['  ]| But scarce had he a furlong on 
821:3,0238['  ]| This resolute adventure gone, 
821:3,0239['  ]| When he encountered with that crew 
821:3,0240['  ]| Whom Hudibras did late subdue.  
821:3,0241['  ]| Honour, revenge, contempt and shame 
821:3,0242['  ]| Did equally their breasts inflame.  
821:3,0243['  ]| 'Mong these the fierce Magnano was, 
821:3,0244['  ]| And Talgol, foe to Hudibras, 
821:3,0245['  ]| Cerdon and Colon, warriors stout 
821:3,0246['  ]| And resolute as ever fought, 
821:3,0247['  ]| Whom furious Orsin thus bespoke:  
821:3,0248[C  ]| ""Shall we,""
821:3,0248['  ]| quoth he,
821:3,0248[C  ]| ""thus basely brook 
821:3,0249[C  ]| The vile affront that paltry ass 
821:3,0250[C  ]| And feeble scoundrel Hudibras, 
821:3,0251[C  ]| With that more paltry ragamuffin 
821:3,0252[C  ]| Ralpho, with vapouring and huffing, 
821:3,0253[C  ]| Have put upon us like tame cattle 
821:3,0254[C  ]| As if they'd routed us in battle?  
821:3,0255[C  ]| For my part, it shall ne'er be said 
821:3,0256[C  ]| I for the washing gave my head, 
821:3,0257[C  ]| Nor did I turn my back for fear 
821:3,0258[C  ]| Of them, but losing of my bear, 
821:3,0259[C  ]| Which now I'm like to undergo; 
821:3,0260[C  ]| For whether these fell wounds, or no, 
821:3,0261[C  ]| He has received in fight are mortal, 
821:3,0262[C  ]| Is more than all my skill can fortell.  
821:3,0263[C  ]| Nor do I know what is become 
821:3,0264[C  ]| Of him, more than the Pope of Rome.  
821:3,0265[C  ]| But if I can but find them out 
821:3,0266[C  ]| That caused it (as I shall, no doubt, 
821:3,0267[C  ]| Where'er th'in hugger-mugger lurk), 
821:3,0268[C  ]| I'll make them rue their handiwork, 
821:3,0269[C  ]| And wish that they had rather dared 
821:3,0270[C  ]| To pull the devil by the beard."" 
821:3,0271['  ]| Quoth Cerdon,
821:3,0271[F  ]| ""Noble Orsin, thou'st 
821:3,0272[F  ]| Great reason to do as thou say'st, 
821:3,0273[F  ]| And so has everybody here 
821:3,0274[F  ]| As well as thou hast, or thy bear.  
821:3,0275[F  ]| Others may do as they see good, 
821:3,0276[F  ]| But, if this twig be made of wood 
821:3,0277[F  ]| That will hold tack, I'll make the fur 
821:3,0278[F  ]| Fly 'bout the ears of that old cur, 
821:3,0279[F  ]| And th'other mongrel vermin, Ralph, 
821:3,0280[F  ]| That braved us all in his behalf.  
821:3,0281[F  ]| Thy bear is safe and out of peril, 
821:3,0282[F  ]| Though lugged indeed and wounded very ill.  
821:3,0283[F  ]| Myself and Trulla made a shift 
821:3,0284[F  ]| To help him out at a dead lift, 
821:3,0285[F  ]| And, having brought him bravely off, 
821:3,0286[F  ]| Have left him where he's safe enough.  
821:3,0287[F  ]| There let him rest; for if we stay, 
821:3,0288[F  ]| The slaves may hap to get away."" 
821:3,0289['  ]| This said, they all engaged to join 
821:3,0290['  ]| Their forces in the same design 
821:3,0291['  ]| And forthwith put themselves in search 
821:3,0292['  ]| Of Hudibras upon their march; 
821:3,0293['  ]| Where leave we them awhile, to tell 
821:3,0294['  ]| What the victorious knight befell; 
821:3,0295['  ]| For such, Crowdero being fast 
821:3,0296['  ]| In dungeon shut, we left him last.  
821:3,0297['  ]| Triumphant laurels seemed to grow 
821:3,0298['  ]| Nowhere so green as on his brow, 
821:3,0299['  ]| Laden with which, as well as tired 
821:3,0300['  ]| With conquering toil, he now retired 
821:3,0301['  ]| Unto a neighboring castle by 
821:3,0302['  ]| To rest his body, and apply 
821:3,0303['  ]| Fit medicines to each glorious bruise 
821:3,0304['  ]| He got in fight, reds, blacks and blues, 
821:3,0305['  ]| To mollify th'uneasy pang 
821:3,0306['  ]| Of every honourable bang.  
821:3,0307['  ]| Which being by skilful midwife dressed, 
821:3,0308['  ]| He laid him down to take his rest.  
821:3,0309['  ]| But all in vain.  He'd got a hurt 
821:3,0310['  ]| O'th inside, of a deadlier sort, 
821:3,0311['  ]| By Cupid made, who took his stand 
821:3,0312['  ]| Upon a widow's jointure-land 
821:3,0313['  ]| (For he in all his amorous battles, 
821:3,0314['  ]| No 'dvantage finds like goods and chattels), 
821:3,0315['  ]| Drew home his bow, and aiming right, 
821:3,0316['  ]| Let fly an arrow at the knight.  
821:3,0317['  ]| The shaft against a rib did glance 
821:3,0318['  ]| And gall him in the purtenance.  
821:3,0319['  ]| But time had somewhat 'swaged his pain, 
821:3,0320['  ]| After he found his suit in vain; 
821:3,0321['  ]| For that proud dame, for whom his soul 
821:3,0322['  ]| Was burnt in 's belly like a coal 
821:3,0323['  ]| (That belly that so oft did ache 
821:3,0324['  ]| And suffer griping for her sake, 
821:3,0325['  ]| Till purging comfits and ants' eggs 
821:3,0326['  ]| Had almost brought him off his legs), 
821:3,0327['  ]| Used him so like a base rascallion, 
821:3,0328['  ]| That old Pyg (what d'y' call him?) malion, 
821:3,0329['  ]| That cut his mistress out of stone, 
821:3,0330['  ]| Had not so hard-a-hearted one.  
821:3,0331['  ]| She had a thousand jadish tricks, 
821:3,0332['  ]| Worse than a mule that flings and kicks, 
821:3,0333['  ]| 'Mong which one cross-grained freak she had, 
821:3,0334['  ]| As insolent as strange and mad:  
821:3,0335['  ]| She could love none but only such 
821:3,0336['  ]| As scorned and hated her as much.  
821:3,0337['  ]| 'Twas a strange riddle of a lady!  
821:3,0338['  ]| Not love, if any loved her?  Hey day!  
821:3,0339['  ]| So cowards never use their might 
821:3,0340['  ]| But against such as will not fight; 
821:3,0341['  ]| So some diseases have been found 
821:3,0342['  ]| Only to seize upon the sound.  
821:3,0343['  ]| He that gets her by heart must say her 
821:3,0344['  ]| The back way, like a witch's prayer.  
821:3,0345['  ]| Meanwhile the knight had no small task 
821:3,0346['  ]| To compass what he durst not ask.  
821:3,0347['  ]| He loves, but dares not make the motion; 
821:3,0348['  ]| Her ignorance is his devotion.  
821:3,0349['  ]| LIke caitiff vile, that for misdeed 
821:3,0350['  ]| Rides with his face to rump of steed, 
821:3,0351['  ]| Or rowing scull, he's fain to love, 
821:3,0352['  ]| Look one way and another move; 
821:3,0353['  ]| Or like a tumbler, that does play 
821:3,0354['  ]| His game and look another way 
821:3,0355['  ]| Until he seize upon the coney, 
821:3,0356['  ]| Just so does he by matrimony.  
821:3,0357['  ]| But all in vain:  her subtle snout 
821:3,0358['  ]| Did quickly wind his meaning out, 
821:3,0359['  ]| Which she returned with too much scorn 
821:3,0360['  ]| To be by man of honour borne.  
821:3,0361['  ]| Yet much he bore, until the distress 
821:3,0362['  ]| He suffered from his spiteful mistress 
821:3,0363['  ]| Did stir his stomach, and the pain 
821:3,0364['  ]| He had endured from her disdain 
821:3,0365['  ]| Turned to regret so resolute 
821:3,0366['  ]| That he resolved to waive his suit 
821:3,0367['  ]| And either to renounce her quite, 
821:3,0368['  ]| Or for a while play least in sight.  
821:3,0369['  ]| This resolution being put on, 
821:3,0370['  ]| He kept some months, and more had done, 
821:3,0371['  ]| But being brought so nigh by fate, 
821:3,0372['  ]| The victory he achieved so late 
821:3,0373['  ]| Did set his thoughts agog, and ope 
821:3,0374['  ]| A door to discontinued hope 
821:3,0375['  ]| That seemed to promise he might win 
821:3,0376['  ]| His dame too, now his hand was in, 
821:3,0377['  ]| And that his valour and the honour 
821:3,0378['  ]| He'd newly gained might work upon her.  
821:3,0379['  ]| These reasons made his mouth to water 
821:3,0380['  ]| With amorous longings to be at her.  
821:3,0381['  ]| Thought he unto himself,
821:3,0381@a   | ""Who knows 
821:3,0382@a   | But this brave conquest o'er my foes 
821:3,0383@a   | May reach her heart, and make that stoop, 
821:3,0384@a   | As I but now have forced the troop?  
821:3,0385@a   | If nothing can oppugne love, 
821:3,0386@a   | And virtue invious ways can prove, 
821:3,0387@a   | What may not he confide to do 
821:3,0388@a   | That brings both love and virtue too?  
821:3,0389@a   | But thou bring'st valour too and wit, 
821:3,0390@a   | Two things that seldom fail to hit.  
821:3,0391@a   | Valour's a mousetrap, wit a gin, 
821:3,0392@a   | Which women oft are taken in.  
821:3,0393@a   | Then, Hudibras, why should'st thou fear 
821:3,0394@a   | To be, that art a conquerer?  
821:3,0395@a   | Fortune th'audacious doth \7iuvare\ 
821:3,0396@a   | But lets the timidous miscarry.  
821:3,0397@a   | Then while the honour thou hast got 
821:3,0398@a   | Is spick and span-new, piping hot, 
821:3,0399@a   | Strike her up bravely thou hadst best, 
821:3,0400@a   | And trust thy fortune with the rest."" 
821:3,0401['  ]| Such thoughts as these the knight did keep, 
821:3,0402['  ]| More than his bangs or fleas, from sleep, 
821:3,0403['  ]| And as an owl that in a barn 
821:3,0404['  ]| Sees a mouse creeping in the corn, 
821:3,0405['  ]| Sits still, and shuts his round, blue eyes, 
821:3,0406['  ]| As if he slept, until he spies 
821:3,0407['  ]| The little beast within his reach, 
821:3,0408['  ]| Then starts, and seizes on the wretch, 
821:3,0409['  ]| So from his couch the knight did start 
821:3,0410['  ]| To seize upon the widow's heart, 
821:3,0411['  ]| Crying with hasty tone and hoarse, 
821:3,0412[A  ]| ""Ralpho, despatch!  To horse!  To horse!"" 
821:3,0413['  ]| And 'twas but time, for now the rout 
821:3,0414['  ]| We left engaged to seek him out 
821:3,0415['  ]| By speedy marches were advanced 
821:3,0416['  ]| Up to the fort where he ensconced, 
821:3,0417['  ]| And had all th'avenues possessed 
821:3,0418['  ]| About the place from east to west.  
821:3,0419['  ]| That done, awhile they made a halt 
821:3,0420['  ]| To view the ground, and where t'assault; 
821:3,0421['  ]| Then called a council which was best, 
821:3,0422['  ]| By siege or onslaught, to invest 
821:3,0423['  ]| The enemy, and 'twas agreed 
821:3,0424['  ]| By storm and onslaught, to proceed.  
821:3,0425['  ]| This being resolved, in comely sort 
821:3,0426['  ]| They now drew up t'attack the fort, 
821:3,0427['  ]| When Hudibras, about to enter 
821:3,0428['  ]| Upon another-gates adventure, 
821:3,0429['  ]| To Ralpho called aloud to arm, 
821:3,0430['  ]| Not dreaming of approaching storm.  
821:3,0431['  ]| Whether Dame*Fortune, or the care 
821:3,0432['  ]| Of angel bad or tutelar 
821:3,0433['  ]| Did arm, or thrust him on a danger, 
821:3,0434['  ]| To which he was an utter stranger; 
821:3,0435['  ]| That foresight might, or might not blot 
821:3,0436['  ]| The glory he had newly got; 
821:3,0437['  ]| Or to his shame it might be said 
821:3,0438['  ]| They took him napping in his bed, 
821:3,0439['  ]| To them we leave it to expound, 
821:3,0440['  ]| That deal in sciences profound.  
821:3,0441['  ]| His courser scarce he had bestrid, 
821:3,0442['  ]| And Ralpho that on which he rid, 
821:3,0443['  ]| When setting ope the postern gate 
821:3,0444['  ]| To take the field and sally at, 
821:3,0445['  ]| The foe appeared, drawn up and drilled, 
821:3,0446['  ]| Ready to charge them in the field.  
821:3,0447['  ]| This somewhat startled the bold knight, 
821:3,0448['  ]| Surprised with th'unexpected sight.  
821:3,0449['  ]| The bruises of his bones and flesh 
821:3,0450['  ]| He thought began to smart afresh, 
821:3,0451['  ]| Till, recollecting wonted courage, 
821:3,0452['  ]| His fear was soon converted to rage, 
821:3,0453['  ]| And thus he spoke:
821:3,0453[A  ]| ""The coward foe, 
821:3,0454[A  ]| Whom we but now gave quarter to, 
821:3,0455[A  ]| Look, yonder's rallied, and appears, 
821:3,0456[A  ]| As if they had outrun their fears.  
821:3,0457[A  ]| The glory we did lately get, 
821:3,0458[A  ]| The fates command us to repeat, 
821:3,0459[A  ]| And to their wills we must succumb.  
821:3,0460[A  ]| \7Quocunque 7trahunt\, 'tis our doom.  
821:3,0461[A  ]| This is the same numeric crew 
821:3,0462[A  ]| Which we so lately did subdue, 
821:3,0463[A  ]| The self-same individuals that 
821:3,0464[A  ]| Did run as mice do from a cat 
821:3,0465[A  ]| When we courageously did wield 
821:3,0466[A  ]| Our martial weapons in the field 
821:3,0467[A  ]| To tug for victory; and when 
821:3,0468[A  ]| We shall our shining blades again 
821:3,0469[A  ]| Brandish in terror o'er our heads, 
821:3,0470[A  ]| They'll straight resume their wonted dreads.  
821:3,0471[A  ]| Fear is an ague that forsakes 
821:3,0472[A  ]| And haunts by fits those whom it takes.  
821:3,0473[A  ]| And they'll opine they feel the pain 
821:3,0474[A  ]| And blows they felt today, again.  
821:3,0475[A  ]| Then let us boldly charge them home 
821:3,0476[A  ]| And make no doubt to overcome."" 
821:3,0477['  ]| This said, his courage to enflame, 
821:3,0478['  ]| He called upon his mistress' name.  
821:3,0479['  ]| His pistol next he cocked anew, 
821:3,0480['  ]| And out his nut-brown whinyard drew, 
821:3,0481['  ]| And, placing Ralpho in the front, 
821:3,0482['  ]| Reserved himself to bear the brunt, 
821:3,0483['  ]| As expert warriors use; then plied 
821:3,0484['  ]| With iron heel his courser's side, 
821:3,0485['  ]| Conveying sympathetic speed 
821:3,0486['  ]| From heel of knight to heel of steed.  
821:3,0487['  ]| Meanwhile the foe with equal rage 
821:3,0488['  ]| And speed advancing to engage, 
821:3,0489['  ]| Both parties now were drawn so close 
821:3,0490['  ]| Almost to come to handy-blows, 
821:3,0491['  ]| When Orsin first let fly a stone 
821:3,0492['  ]| At Ralpho; not so huge a one 
821:3,0493['  ]| As that which Diomed did maul 
821:3,0494['  ]| Aeneas on the bum withall, 
821:3,0495['  ]| Yet big enough, if rightly hurled, 
821:3,0496['  ]| T'have sent him to another world; 
821:3,0497['  ]| Whether above ground or below, 
821:3,0498['  ]| Which saints twice-dipped are destined to.  
821:3,0499['  ]| The danger startled the bold squire 
821:3,0500['  ]| And made him some few steps retire, 
821:3,0501['  ]| But Hudibras advanced to's aid 
821:3,0502['  ]| And roused his spirits half-dismayed.  
821:3,0503['  ]| He, wisely doubting lest the shot 
821:3,0504['  ]| Of th' enemy, now growing hot, 
821:3,0505['  ]| Might at a distance gall, pressed close, 
821:3,0506['  ]| To come, pell-mell, to handy-blows; 
821:3,0507['  ]| And, that he might their aim decline, 
821:3,0508['  ]| Advanced still in an oblique line, 
821:3,0509['  ]| But prudently forbore to fire 
821:3,0510['  ]| Till breast to breast he had got nigher, 
821:3,0511['  ]| As expert warriors use to do 
821:3,0512['  ]| When hand to hand they charge the foe.  
821:3,0513['  ]| This order the adventurous knight 
821:3,0514['  ]| Most soldierlike observed in fight, 
821:3,0515['  ]| When Fortune (as she's wont) turned fickle 
821:3,0516['  ]| And for the foe began to sickle.  
821:3,0517['  ]| The more shame for her goody-ship, 
821:3,0518['  ]| To give so near a friend the slip.  
821:3,0519['  ]| For Colon, choosing out a stone, 
821:3,0520['  ]| Levelled so right it thumped upon 
821:3,0521['  ]| His manly paunch with such a force 
821:3,0522['  ]| As almost beat him off his horse.  
821:3,0523['  ]| He loosed his weapon and the rein, 
821:3,0524['  ]| But, laying fast hold on the mane, 
821:3,0525['  ]| Preserved his seat, and as a goose 
821:3,0526['  ]| In death contracts his talons close, 
821:3,0527['  ]| So did the knight, and with one claw 
821:3,0528['  ]| The tricker of his pistol draw.  
821:3,0529['  ]| The gun went off and as it was 
821:3,0530['  ]| Still fatal to stout Hudibras, 
821:3,0531['  ]| In all his feats of arms, when least 
821:3,0532['  ]| He dreamt of it, to prosper best, 
821:3,0533['  ]| So now he fared.  The shot, let fly 
821:3,0534['  ]| At random 'mong the enemy, 
821:3,0535['  ]| Pierced Talgol's gaberdine, and grazing 
821:3,0536['  ]| Upon his shoulder, in the passing 
821:3,0537['  ]| Lodged in Magnano's brass habergeon, 
821:3,0538['  ]| Who straight
821:3,0538[W  ]| ""A surgeon!""
821:3,0538['  ]| cried,
821:3,0538[W  ]| ""A surgeon!"" 
821:3,0539['  ]| He tumbled down and as he fell, 
821:3,0540['  ]| Did
821:3,0540[W  ]| ""Murder, murder, murder!""
821:3,0540['  ]| yell.  
821:3,0541['  ]| This startled their whole body so 
821:3,0542['  ]| That if the knight had not let go 
821:3,0543['  ]| His arms, but been in warlike plight, 
821:3,0544['  ]| He'd won, the second time, the fight; 
821:3,0545['  ]| As if the squire had but fall'n on, 
821:3,0546['  ]| He had inevitably done.  
821:3,0547['  ]| But he, diverted with the care 
821:3,0548['  ]| Of Hudibras his wound, forbare 
821:3,0549['  ]| To press th'advantage of his fortune, 
821:3,0550['  ]| While danger did the rest dishearten.  
821:3,0551['  ]| He had with Cerdon been engaged 
821:3,0552['  ]| In close encounter, which both waged 
821:3,0553['  ]| So desperately 'twas hard to say 
821:3,0554['  ]| Which side was like to get the day.  
821:3,0555['  ]| And now the busy work of death 
821:3,0556['  ]| Had tired them so, th'agreed to breath, 
821:3,0557['  ]| Preparing to renew the fight, 
821:3,0558['  ]| When the disaster of the knight 
821:3,0559['  ]| And th'other party did divert 
821:3,0560['  ]| And force their sullen rage to part.  
821:3,0561['  ]| Ralpho pressed up to Hudibras, 
821:3,0562['  ]| And Cerdon where Magnano was, 
821:3,0563['  ]| Each striving to confirm his party 
821:3,0564['  ]| With stout encouragement and hearty.  
821:3,0565['  ]| Quoth Ralpho,
821:3,0565[B  ]| ""Courage, valiant sir, 
821:3,0566[B  ]| And let revenge and honour stir 
821:3,0567[B  ]| Your spirits up!  Once more fall on!  
821:3,0568[B  ]| The shattered foe begins to run; 
821:3,0569[B  ]| For if but half so well you knew 
821:3,0570[B  ]| To use your victory as subdue, 
821:3,0571[B  ]| They durst not, after such a blow 
821:3,0572[B  ]| As you have giv'n them, face us now, 
821:3,0573[B  ]| But from so formidable a soldier 
821:3,0574[B  ]| Had fled like crows when they smell powder.  
821:3,0575[B  ]| Thrice have they seen your sword aloft 
821:3,0576[B  ]| Waved o'er their heads, and fled as oft.  
821:3,0577[B  ]| But if you let them recollect 
821:3,0578[B  ]| Their spirits, now dismayed and checked, 
821:3,0579[B  ]| You'll have a harder game to play 
821:3,0580[B  ]| Than yet you've had, to get the day."" 
821:3,0581['  ]| Thus spoke the stout squire, but was heard 
821:3,0582['  ]| Of Hudibras with small regard.  
821:3,0583['  ]| His thoughts were fuller of the bang 
821:3,0584['  ]| He lately took, than Ralph's harangue; 
821:3,0585['  ]| To which he answered,
821:3,0585[A  ]| ""Cruel fate 
821:3,0586[A  ]| Tells me thy counsel comes too late.  
821:3,0587[A  ]| The knotted blood within my hose 
821:3,0588[A  ]| That from my wounded body flows, 
821:3,0589[A  ]| With mortal crisis doth portend 
821:3,0590[A  ]| My days to appropinque an end.  
821:3,0591[A  ]| I am for action now unfit, 
821:3,0592[A  ]| Either of fortitude or wit.  
821:3,0593[A  ]| "Fortune my foe" begins to frown, 
821:3,0594[A  ]| Resolved to pull my stomach down.  
821:3,0595[A  ]| I am not apt, upon a wound 
821:3,0596[A  ]| Or trivial basting, to despond.  
821:3,0597[A  ]| Yet I'd be loath my days to curtal; 
821:3,0598[A  ]| For if I thought my wounds not mortal, 
821:3,0599[A  ]| Or that we'd time enough as yet  
821:3,0600[A  ]| To make an honourable retreat, 
821:3,0601[A  ]| 'Twere the best course.  But if they find 
821:3,0602[A  ]| We fly, and leave our arms behind 
821:3,0603[A  ]| For them to seize on, the dishonour 
821:3,0604[A  ]| And danger too is such, I'll sooner 
821:3,0605[A  ]| Stand to it boldly and take quarter, 
821:3,0606[A  ]| To let them see I am no starter.  
821:3,0607[A  ]| In all the trade of war, no feat 
821:3,0608[A  ]| Is nobler than a brave retreat.  
821:3,0609[A  ]| For those that run away and fly 
821:3,0610[A  ]| Take place at least of th'enemy."" 
821:3,0611['  ]| This said, the squire with active speed 
821:3,0612['  ]| Dismounted from his bony steed 
821:3,0613['  ]| To seize the arms which by mischance 
821:3,0614['  ]| Fell from the bold knight in a trance.  
821:3,0615['  ]| These being found out, and restored 
821:3,0616['  ]| To Hudibras, their natural lord, 
821:3,0617['  ]| The active squire with might and main 
821:3,0618['  ]| Prepared in haste to mount again.  
821:3,0619['  ]| Thrice he assayed to mount aloft, 
821:3,0620['  ]| But by his weighty bum as oft 
821:3,0621['  ]| He was pulled back till, having found 
821:3,0622['  ]| Th'advantage of the rising ground, 
821:3,0623['  ]| Thither he led his warlike steed, 
821:3,0624['  ]| And having placed him right, with speed 
821:3,0625['  ]| Prepared again to scale the beast, 
821:3,0626['  ]| When Orsin, who had newly dressed 
821:3,0627['  ]| The bloody scar upon the shoulder 
821:3,0628['  ]| Of Talgol with Promethean powder, 
821:3,0629['  ]| And now was searching for the shot 
821:3,0630['  ]| That laid Magnano on the spot, 
821:3,0631['  ]| Beheld the study squire aforesaid 
821:3,0632['  ]| Preparing to climb up his horse-side.  
821:3,0633['  ]| He left his cure, and laying hold 
821:3,0634['  ]| Upon his arms, with courage bold 
821:3,0635['  ]| Cried out,
821:3,0635[C  ]| ""'Tis now no time to dally!  
821:3,0636[C  ]| The enemy begins to rally.  
821:3,0637[C  ]| Let us that are unhurt and whole 
821:3,0638[C  ]| Fall on, and happy man be's dole!"" 
821:3,0639['  ]| This said, like to a thunderbolt 
821:3,0640['  ]| He flew with fury to th'assault, 
821:3,0641['  ]| Striving the enemy to attack 
821:3,0642['  ]| Before he reached his horse's back.  
821:3,0643['  ]| Ralpho was mounted now and gotten 
821:3,0644['  ]| O'erthwart his beast with active vauting, 
821:3,0645['  ]| Wriggling his body to recover 
821:3,0646['  ]| His seat, and cast his right leg over, 
821:3,0647['  ]| When Orsin rushing in, bestowed 
821:3,0648['  ]| On horse and man so heavy a load, 
821:3,0649['  ]| The beast was startled, and begun 
821:3,0650['  ]| To kick and fling like mad and run, 
821:3,0651['  ]| Bearing the tough squire like a sack, 
821:3,0652['  ]| Or stout King*Richard on his back, 
821:3,0653['  ]| Till, stumbleing, he threw him down, 
821:3,0654['  ]| Sore bruised and cast into a sown.  
821:3,0655['  ]| Meanwhile the knight began to rouse 
821:3,0656['  ]| The sparkled of his wonted prowess.  
821:3,0657['  ]| He thrust his hand into his hose 
821:3,0658['  ]| And found both by his eyes and nose 
821:3,0659['  ]| 'Twas only choler and not blood 
821:3,0660['  ]| That from his wounded body flowed.  
821:3,0661['  ]| This, with the hazard of the squire, 
821:3,0662['  ]| Enflamed him with despiteful ire.  
821:3,0663['  ]| Courageously he faced about 
821:3,0664['  ]| And drew his other pistol out, 
821:3,0665['  ]| And now had half-way bent the cock, 
821:3,0666['  ]| When Cerdon gave so fierce a shock 
821:3,0667['  ]| With sturdy truncheon 'thwart his arm 
821:3,0668['  ]| That down it fell and did no harm; 
821:3,0669['  ]| Then, stoutly pressing on with speed, 
821:3,0670['  ]| Assayed to pull him off his steed.  
821:3,0671['  ]| The knight his sword had only left 
821:3,0672['  ]| With which he Cerdon's head had cleft, 
821:3,0673['  ]| Or at the least cropped off a limb, 
821:3,0674['  ]| But Orsin came and rescued him.  
821:3,0675['  ]| He with his lance attacked the knight 
821:3,0676['  ]| Upon his quarters opposite.  
821:3,0677['  ]| But, as a barque that in foul weather, 
821:3,0678['  ]| Tossed by two adverse winds together, 
821:3,0679['  ]| Is bruised, and beaten to and fro, 
821:3,0680['  ]| And knows not which to turn him to, 
821:3,0681['  ]| So fared the knight between two foes, 
821:3,0682['  ]| And knew not which of them t'oppose, 
821:3,0683['  ]| Till Orsin, charging with his lance 
821:3,0684['  ]| At Hudibras, by spiteful chance 
821:3,0685['  ]| Hit Cerdon such a bang as stunned 
821:3,0686['  ]| And laid him flat upon the ground.  
821:3,0687['  ]| At this the knight began to cheer up 
821:3,0688['  ]| And raising up himself on stirrup, 
821:3,0689['  ]| Cried out,
821:3,0689[A  ]| ""\Victoria!\ Lie thou there, 
821:3,0690[A  ]| And I shall straight despatch another 
821:3,0691[A  ]| To bear thee company in death, 
821:3,0692[A  ]| But first I'll halt awhile and breath."" 
821:3,0693['  ]| As well he might, for Orsin, grieved 
821:3,0694['  ]| At th'wound that Cerdon had received, 
821:3,0695['  ]| Ran to relieve him with his lore, 
821:3,0696['  ]| And cure the hurt he made before.  
821:3,0697['  ]| Meanwhile the knight had wheeled about 
821:3,0698['  ]| To breathe himself, and next find out 
821:3,0699['  ]| Th'advantage of the ground, where best 
821:3,0700['  ]| He might the ruffled foe infest.  
821:3,0701['  ]| This being resolved, he spurred his steed 
821:3,0702['  ]| To run at Orsin with full speed, 
821:3,0703['  ]| While he was busy in the care 
821:3,0704['  ]| Of Cerdon's wound, and unaware.  
821:3,0705['  ]| But he was quick, and had already 
821:3,0706['  ]| Unto the part applied remedy, 
821:3,0707['  ]| And, seeing th'enemy prepared, 
821:3,0708['  ]| Drew up and stood upon his guard.  
821:3,0709['  ]| Then like a warrior right expert 
821:3,0710['  ]| And skilful in the martial art, 
821:3,0711['  ]| The subtle knight straight made a halt, 
821:3,0712['  ]| And judged it best to stay th'assault 
821:3,0713['  ]| Until he had relieved the squire, 
821:3,0714['  ]| And then (in order) to retire, 
821:3,0715['  ]| Or, as occasion should invite, 
821:3,0716['  ]| With forces joined renew the fight.  
821:3,0717['  ]| Ralpho, by this time disentranced, 
821:3,0718['  ]| Upon his bum himself advanced, 
821:3,0719['  ]| Though sorely bruised; his limbs all o'er 
821:3,0720['  ]| With ruthless bangs were stiff and sore.  
821:3,0721['  ]| Right fain he would have got upon 
821:3,0722['  ]| His feet again to get him gone, 
821:3,0723['  ]| When Hudibras to aid him came.  
821:3,0724['  ]| Quoth he (and called him by his name), 
821:3,0725[A  ]| ""Courage!  The day at length is ours 
821:3,0726[A  ]| And we once more as conquerours 
821:3,0727[A  ]| Have both the field and honour won.  
821:3,0728[A  ]| The foe is profligate and run ~~  
821:3,0729[A  ]| I mean all such as can, for some 
821:3,0730[A  ]| This hand hath sent to their long home, 
821:3,0731[A  ]| And some lie sprawling on the ground 
821:3,0732[A  ]| With many a gash and bloody wound.  
821:3,0733[A  ]| Caesar himself could never say 
821:3,0734[A  ]| He got two victories in a day 
821:3,0735[A  ]| As I have done, that can say, "Twice I 
821:3,0736[A  ]| In one day \7Veni, 7vidi, 7vici\." 
821:3,0737[A  ]| The foe's so numerous that we 
821:3,0738[A  ]| Cannot so often \7vincere\ 
821:3,0739[A  ]| As they \7perire\, and yet enough
821:3,0740[A  ]| Be left to strike an afterblow.  
821:3,0741[A  ]| Then lest they rally and once more 
821:3,0742[A  ]| Put us to fight the business o'er, 
821:3,0743[A  ]| Get up and mount thy steed.  Despatch!  
821:3,0744[A  ]| And let us both their motions watch."" 
821:3,0745['  ]| Quoth Ralph,
821:3,0745[B  ]| ""I should not, if I were 
821:3,0746[B  ]| In case for action, now be here; 
821:3,0747[B  ]| Nor have I turned my back or hanged 
821:3,0748[B  ]| An arse, for fear of being banged.  
821:3,0749[B  ]| It was for you I got these harms, 
821:3,0750[B  ]| Adventuring to fetch off your arms.  
821:3,0751[B  ]| The blows and drubs I have received 
821:3,0752[B  ]| Have bruised my body and bereaved 
821:3,0753[B  ]| My limbs of strength.  Unless you stoop 
821:3,0754[B  ]| And reach your hand to pull me up, 
821:3,0755[B  ]| I shall lie here, and be a prey 
821:3,0756[B  ]| To those who now are run away."" 
821:3,0757[A  ]| ""That shalt thou not"",
821:3,0757['  ]| quoth Hudibras.  
821:3,0758[A  ]| ""We read the ancients held it was 
821:3,0759[A  ]| More honourable far \7servare\ 
821:3,0760[A  ]| \7Civem\ than slay an adversary.  
821:3,0761[A  ]| The one today we oft have done, 
821:3,0762[A  ]| The other shall despatch anon.  
821:3,0763[A  ]| And, though th'art of a different church, 
821:3,0764[A  ]| I will not leave thee in the lurch."" 
821:3,0765['  ]| This said, he jogged his good steed nigher 
821:3,0766['  ]| And steered him gently toward the squier.  
821:3,0767['  ]| Then, bowing down his body, stretched 
821:3,0768['  ]| His hand out, and at Ralpho reached, 
821:3,0769['  ]| When Trulla, whom he did not mind, 
821:3,0770['  ]| Charged him like lightening behind.  
821:3,0771['  ]| She had been long in search about 
821:3,0772['  ]| Magnano's wound, to find it out, 
821:3,0773['  ]| But could find none, nor where the shot 
821:3,0774['  ]| That had so startled him was got.  
821:3,0775['  ]| But having found the worst was passed, 
821:3,0776['  ]| She fell to her own work at last:  
821:3,0777['  ]| The pillage of the prisoners, 
821:3,0778['  ]| Which in all feats of arms was hers.  
821:3,0779['  ]| And now to plunder Ralph she flew, 
821:3,0780['  ]| When Hudibras his hard fate drew 
821:3,0781['  ]| To succour him; for as he bowed 
821:3,0782['  ]| To help him up, she laid a load 
821:3,0783['  ]| Of blows so heavy, and placed so well 
821:3,0784['  ]| On th'other side, that down he fell.  
821:3,0785[E  ]| ""Yield, scoundrel base,""
821:3,0785['  ]| quoth she,
821:3,0785[E  ]| ""or die!  
821:3,0786[E  ]| Thy life is mine and liberty.  
821:3,0787[E  ]| But if thou think'st I took thee tardy, 
821:3,0788[E  ]| And dar'st presume to be so hardy 
821:3,0789[E  ]| To try thy fortune o'er afresh, 
821:3,0790[E  ]| I'll waive my title to thy flesh, 
821:3,0791[E  ]| Thy arms and baggage, now my right.  
821:3,0792[E  ]| And if thou hast the heart to try't, 
821:3,0793[E  ]| I'll lend thee back thyself awhile, 
821:3,0794[E  ]| And once more for that carcass vile 
821:3,0795[E  ]| Fight upon tick.""
821:3,0795['  ]| Quoth Hudibras, 
821:3,0796[A  ]| ""Thou offer'st nobly, valiant lass, 
821:3,0797[A  ]| And I shall take thee at thy word.  
821:3,0798[A  ]| First let me rise and take my sword.  
821:3,0799[A  ]| That sword which has so oft this day 
821:3,0800[A  ]| Through squadrons of my foes made way, 
821:3,0801[A  ]| And some to other worlds despatched, 
821:3,0802[A  ]| Now with a feeble spinster matched, 
821:3,0803[A  ]| Will blush with blood ignoble stained, 
821:3,0804[A  ]| By which no honour's to be gained.  
821:3,0805[A  ]| But if thou'lt take m'advice in this, 
821:3,0806[A  ]| Consider while thou may'st what 'tis 
821:3,0807[A  ]| To interrupt a victor's course 
821:3,0808[A  ]| B'opposing such a trivial force.  
821:3,0809[A  ]| For if with conquest I come off 
821:3,0810[A  ]| (And that I shall do sure enough), 
821:3,0811[A  ]| Quarter thou canst not have nor grace, 
821:3,0812[A  ]| By law of arms in such a case, 
821:3,0813[A  ]| Both which I now do offer freely."" 
821:3,0814[E  ]| ""I scorn,""
821:3,0814['  ]| quoth she,
821:3,0814[E  ]| ""thou coxcomb silly,"" 
821:3,0815['  ]| (Clapping her hand upon her breech, 
821:3,0816['  ]| To show how much she prized his speech) 
821:3,0817[E  ]| ""Quarter or counsel from a foe.  
821:3,0818[E  ]| If thou canst force me to it, do.  
821:3,0819[E  ]| But lest it should again be said, 
821:3,0820[E  ]| When I have once more won thy head, 
821:3,0821[E  ]| I took thee napping, unprepared, 
821:3,0822[E  ]| Arm, and betake thee to thy guard!"" 
821:3,0823['  ]| This said, she to her tackle fell 
821:3,0824['  ]| And on the knight let fall a peal 
821:3,0825['  ]| Of blows so fierce, and pressed so home, 
821:3,0826['  ]| That he retired and followed 's bum.  
821:3,0827[E  ]| ""Stand to 't!""
821:3,0827['  ]| quoth she,
821:3,0827[E  ]| ""Or yield to mercy.  
821:3,0828[E  ]| It is not fighting arsy-versy 
821:3,0829[E  ]| Shall serve thy turn.""
821:3,0829['  ]| This stirred his spleen 
821:3,0830['  ]| More than the danger he was in, 
821:3,0831['  ]| The blows he felt, or was to feel, 
821:3,0832['  ]| Although th'already made him reel.  
821:3,0833['  ]| Honour, despite, revenge and shame 
821:3,0834['  ]| At once unto his stomach came, 
821:3,0835['  ]| Which fired it so, he raised his arm 
821:3,0836['  ]| Above his head, and rained a storm 
821:3,0837['  ]| Of blows so terrible and thick 
821:3,0838['  ]| As if he meant to hash her quick.  
821:3,0839['  ]| But she upon her truncheon took them 
821:3,0840['  ]| And by oblique diversion broke them, 
821:3,0841['  ]| Waiting an opportunity 
821:3,0842['  ]| To pay all back with usury.  
821:3,0843['  ]| Which long she failed not of, for now 
821:3,0844['  ]| The knight with one dead-doing blow 
821:3,0845['  ]| Resolving to decide the fight, 
821:3,0846['  ]| And she with quick and cunning sleight 
821:3,0847['  ]| Avoiding it, the force and weight 
821:3,0848['  ]| He charged upon it was so great 
821:3,0849['  ]| As almost swayed him to the ground.  
821:3,0850['  ]| No sooner she th'advantage found 
821:3,0851['  ]| But in she flew, and seconding 
821:3,0852['  ]| With home-made thrust the heavy swing, 
821:3,0853['  ]| She laid him flat upon his side, 
821:3,0854['  ]| And mounting on his trunk astride, 
821:3,0855['  ]| Quoth she,
821:3,0855[E  ]| ""I told thee what would come 
821:3,0856[E  ]| Of all thy vapouring, base scum.  
821:3,0857[E  ]| Say, will the law of arms allow 
821:3,0858[E  ]| I may have grace and quarter now?  
821:3,0859[E  ]| Or wilt thou rather break thy word 
821:3,0860[E  ]| And stain thine honour than thy sword?  
821:3,0861[E  ]| A man of war to damn his soul 
821:3,0862[E  ]| In basely breaking his parole!  
821:3,0863[E  ]| And when, before the fight, thou'dst vowed 
821:3,0864[E  ]| To give no quarter in cold blood!  
821:3,0865[E  ]| Now thou hast got me for a Tartar, 
821:3,0866[E  ]| To make m'against my will take quarter, 
821:3,0867[E  ]| Why dost not put me to the sword, 
821:3,0868[E  ]| But cowardly fly from thy word?"" 
821:3,0869['  ]| Quoth Hudibras,
821:3,0869[A  ]| ""The day's thine own.  
821:3,0870[A  ]| Thou and thy stars have cast me down.  
821:3,0871[A  ]| My laurels are transplanted now 
821:3,0872[A  ]| And flourish on thy conquering brow.  
821:3,0873[A  ]| My loss of honour's great enough:  
821:3,0874[A  ]| Thou need'st not brand it with a scoff.  
821:3,0875[A  ]| Sarcasmes may eclipse thine own 
821:3,0876[A  ]| But cannot blur my lost renown.  
821:3,0877[A  ]| I am not now in Fortune's power:  
821:3,0878[A  ]| "He that is down can fall no lower".  
821:3,0879[A  ]| The ancient heroes were illustrious 
821:3,0880[A  ]| For being benigne and not blustrous 
821:3,0881[A  ]| Against a vanquished foe.  Their swords 
821:3,0882[A  ]| Were sharp and trenchant, not their words; 
821:3,0883[A  ]| And did in fight but cut work out 
821:3,0884[A  ]| T'employ their courtesies about."" 
821:3,0885['  ]| Quoth she,
821:3,0885[E  ]| ""Although thou hast deserved, 
821:3,0886[E  ]| Base slubberdegullion, to be served 
821:3,0887[E  ]| As thou didst vow to deal with me 
821:3,0888[E  ]| If thou hadst got the victory, 
821:3,0889[E  ]| Yet I had rather act a part 
821:3,0890[E  ]| That suits my fame, than thy desert.  
821:3,0891[E  ]| Thy arms, thy liberty, beside 
821:3,0892[E  ]| All that's on th'outside of thy hide, 
821:3,0893[E  ]| Are mine by military law, 
821:3,0894[E  ]| Of which I will not bate one straw.  
821:3,0895[E  ]| The rest, thy life and limbs, once more, 
821:3,0896[E  ]| Though doubly forfeit, I restore."" 
821:3,0897['  ]| Quoth Hudibras,
821:3,0897[A  ]| ""It is too late 
821:3,0898[A  ]| For me to treat or stipulate.  
821:3,0899[A  ]| What thou command'st I must obey.  
821:3,0900[A  ]| Yet those whom I expugned today, 
821:3,0901[A  ]| Of thine own party, I let go, 
821:3,0902[A  ]| And gave them life and freedom too, 
821:3,0903[A  ]| Both dogs and bears upon their parole, 
821:3,0904[A  ]| Whom I took prisoners in this quarrel."" 
821:3,0905['  ]| Quoth Trulla,
821:3,0905[E  ]| ""Whether thou or they 
821:3,0906[E  ]| Let one another run away 
821:3,0907[E  ]| Concerns me not.  But was't not thou 
821:3,0908[E  ]| That gave Crowdero quarter too?  
821:3,0909[E  ]| Crowdero whom, in irons bound, 
821:3,0910[E  ]| Thou basely threw'st into Lob's pound, 
821:3,0911[E  ]| Where still he lies, and with regret 
821:3,0912[E  ]| His generous bowels rage and fret.  
821:3,0913[E  ]| But now thy carcass shall redeem 
821:3,0914[E  ]| And serve to be exchange for him."" 
821:3,0915['  ]| This said, the knight did straight submit 
821:3,0916['  ]| And laid his weapons at her feet.  
821:3,0917['  ]| Next he disrobed his gaberdine, 
821:3,0918['  ]| And with it did himself resign.  
821:3,0919['  ]| She took it and forthwith devesting 
821:3,0920['  ]| The mantle that she wore, said jesting, 
821:3,0921[E  ]| ""Take that, and wear it for my sake"".  
821:3,0922['  ]| Then threw it o'er his sturdy back.  
821:3,0923['  ]| And as the French we conquered once, 
821:3,0924['  ]| Now give us laws for pantaloons, 
821:3,0925['  ]| The length of breeches and the gathers, 
821:3,0926['  ]| Port-canons, periwigs and feathers, 
821:3,0927['  ]| Just so the proud insulting lass 
821:3,0928['  ]| Arrayed and dighted Hudibras.  
821:3,0929['  ]| Meanwhile the other champions, yerst 
821:3,0930['  ]| In hurry of the fight dispersed, 
821:3,0931['  ]| Arrived when Trulla'd won the day 
821:3,0932['  ]| To share in th'honour and the prey, 
821:3,0933['  ]| And out of Hudiras's hide 
821:3,0934['  ]| With vengeance to be satisfied, 
821:3,0935['  ]| Which now they were about to pour 
821:3,0936['  ]| Upon him in a wooden shower.  
821:3,0937['  ]| But Trulla thrust herself between, 
821:3,0938['  ]| And striding o'er his back again, 
821:3,0939['  ]| She brandished o'er her head his sword, 
821:3,0940['  ]| And vowed they should not break her word.  
821:3,0941['  ]| She'd given him quarter, and her blood 
821:3,0942['  ]| Or theirs should make that quarter good.  
821:3,0943['  ]| For she was bound by law of arms 
821:3,0944['  ]| To see him safe from further harms.  
821:3,0945['  ]| In dungeon deep Crowdero, cast 
821:3,0946['  ]| By Hudibras, as yet lay fast, 
821:3,0947['  ]| Where to the hard and ruthless stones 
821:3,0948['  ]| His great heart made perpetual moans.  
821:3,0949['  ]| Him she resolved that Hudibras 
821:3,0950['  ]| Should ransom, and supply his place.  
821:3,0951['  ]| This stopped their fury, and the basting 
821:3,0952['  ]| Which toward Hudibras was hasting.  
821:3,0953['  ]| They thought it was but just and right 
821:3,0954['  ]| That what she had achieved in fight 
821:3,0955['  ]| She should dispose of how she pleased:  
821:3,0956['  ]| Crowdero ought to be released, 
821:3,0957['  ]| Nor could that any way be done 
821:3,0958['  ]| So well as this she pitched upon; 
821:3,0959['  ]| For who a better could imagine?  
821:3,0960['  ]| This therefore they resolved t'engage in.  
821:3,0961['  ]| The knight and squier first they made 
821:3,0962['  ]| Rise from the ground where they were laid, 
821:3,0963['  ]| Then mounted both upon their horses, 
821:3,0964['  ]| But with their faces to their arses.  
821:3,0965['  ]| Orsin led Hudibras's beast 
821:3,0966['  ]| And Talgol that which Ralpho pressed, 
821:3,0967['  ]| Whom stout Magnano, valiant Cerdon 
821:3,0968['  ]| And Colon waited as a guard on, 
821:3,0969['  ]| All ushering Trulla in the rear 
821:3,0970['  ]| With th'arms of either prisoner.  
821:3,0971['  ]| In this proud order and array 
821:3,0972['  ]| They put themselves upon their way, 
821:3,0973['  ]| Striving to reach th'enchanted castle 
821:3,0974['  ]| Where stout Crowdero in durance lay still.  
821:3,0975['  ]| Thither with greater speed than shows 
821:3,0976['  ]| And triumphs over conquered foes 
821:3,0977['  ]| Do use t'allow, or than the bears 
821:3,0978['  ]| Or pageants borne before lord mayors 
821:3,0979['  ]| Are wont to use, they soon arrived, 
821:3,0980['  ]| In order soldierlike contrived, 
821:3,0981['  ]| Still marching in a warlike posture, 
821:3,0982['  ]| As fit for battle as for muster.  
821:3,0983['  ]| The knight and squire they first unhorse, 
821:3,0984['  ]| And bending 'gainst the fort their force, 
821:3,0985['  ]| They all advanced, and round about 
821:3,0986['  ]| Begirt the magical redoubt.  
821:3,0987['  ]| Magnan' led up in this adventure 
821:3,0988['  ]| And made way for the rest to enter.  
821:3,0989['  ]| For he was skilful in black art 
821:3,0990['  ]| No less than he that built the fort, 
821:3,0991['  ]| And with an iron mace laid flat 
821:3,0992['  ]| A breach, which straight all entered at, 
821:3,0993['  ]| And in the wooden dungeon found 
821:3,0994['  ]| Crowdero laid upon the ground.  
821:3,0995['  ]| Him they release from durance base, 
821:3,0996['  ]| Restored t'his fiddle and his case, 
821:3,0997['  ]| And liberty, this thirsty rage 
821:3,0998['  ]| With luscious vengeance to assuage.  
821:3,0999['  ]| For he no sooner was at large 
821:3,1000['  ]| But Trulla straight brought on her charge, 
821:3,1001['  ]| And in the self-same limbo put 
821:3,1002['  ]| The knight and squire where he was shut; 
821:3,1003['  ]| Where, leaving them i'th' wretched hole, 
821:3,1004['  ]| Their bangs and durance to console, 
821:3,1005['  ]| Confined and conjured into narrow 
821:3,1006['  ]| Enchanted mansion, to know sorrow, 
821:3,1007['  ]| In the same order and array 
821:3,1008['  ]| Which they advanced, they marched away.  
821:3,1009['  ]| But Hudibras, who scorned to stoop 
821:3,1010['  ]| To fortune, or be said to droop, 
821:3,1011['  ]| Cheered up himself with ends of verse 
821:3,1012['  ]| And sayings of philosophers.  
821:3,1013['  ]| Quoth he,
821:3,1013[A  ]| ""Th'one half of man, his mind, 
821:3,1014[A  ]| Is \7sui 7juris\, unconfined, 
821:3,1015[A  ]| And cannot be laid by the heels, 
821:3,1016[A  ]| What e'er the other moiety feels.  
821:3,1017[A  ]| 'Tis not restraint or liberty 
821:3,1018[A  ]| That makes men prisoners or free 
821:3,1019[A  ]| But perturbations that possess 
821:3,1020[A  ]| The mind or aequanimities.  
821:3,1021[A  ]| The whole world was not half so wide 
821:3,1022[A  ]| To Alexander when he cried 
821:3,1023[A  ]| Because he had but one to subdue, 
821:3,1024[A  ]| As was a paltry narrow tub to 
821:3,1025[A  ]| Diogenes, who is not said 
821:3,1026[A  ]| (For ought that ever I could read) 
821:3,1027[A  ]| To whine, put finger i'th' eye, and sob 
821:3,1028[A  ]| Because he'd ne'er another tub.  
821:3,1029[A  ]| The ancients make two several kinds 
821:3,1030[A  ]| Of prowess in heroic minds, 
821:3,1031[A  ]| The active and the passive valiant, 
821:3,1032[A  ]| Both which are \7pari 7libra\ gallant:  
821:3,1033[A  ]| For both to give blows and to carry, 
821:3,1034[A  ]| In fights are equinecessary:  
821:3,1035[A  ]| But in defeats the passive stout 
821:3,1036[A  ]| Are always found to stand it out 
821:3,1037[A  ]| Most desperately, and to outdo 
821:3,1038[A  ]| The active, 'gainst a conquering foe.  
821:3,1039[A  ]| Though we with blacks and blues are suggilled, 
821:3,1040[A  ]| Or, as the vulgar say, are cudgelled, 
821:3,1041[A  ]| He that is valiant and dares fight, 
821:3,1042[A  ]| Though drubbed, can lose no honour by't.  
821:3,1043[A  ]| Honour's a lease for lives to come, 
821:3,1044[A  ]| And cannot be extended from 
821:3,1045[A  ]| The legal tenant; 'tis a chattel 
821:3,1046[A  ]| Not to be forfeited in battel.  
821:3,1047[A  ]| If he that in the field is slain 
821:3,1048[A  ]| Be in the bed of honour lain, 
821:3,1049[A  ]| He that is beaten may be said 
821:3,1050[A  ]| To lie in honour's truckle-bed.  
821:3,1051[A  ]| For as we see th'eclipsed sun 
821:3,1052[A  ]| By mortals is more gazed upon, 
821:3,1053[A  ]| Than when adorned with all his light 
821:3,1054[A  ]| He shines in serene sky most bright, 
821:3,1055[A  ]| So valour in a low estate 
821:3,1056[A  ]| Is most admired and wondered at."" 
821:3,1057['  ]| Quoth Ralph,
821:3,1057[B  ]| ""How great I do not know 
821:3,1058[B  ]| We may by being beaten grow; 
821:3,1059[B  ]| But none that see how here we sit 
821:3,1060[B  ]| Will judge us overgrown with wit.  
821:3,1061[B  ]| As gifted brethren, preaching by 
821:3,1062[B  ]| A carnal hour-glass, do imply 
821:3,1063[B  ]| Illumination can convey 
821:3,1064[B  ]| Into them what they have to say 
821:3,1065[B  ]| But not how much, so well enough 
821:3,1066[B  ]| Know you to charge, but not draw off.  
821:3,1067[B  ]| For who without a cap and bauble, 
821:3,1068[B  ]| Having subdued a bear and rabble, 
821:3,1069[B  ]| And might with honour have come off, 
821:3,1070[B  ]| Would put it to a second proof?  
821:3,1071[B  ]| A politic exploit, right fit 
821:3,1072[B  ]| For Presbyterian zeal and wit!"" 
821:3,1073['  ]| Quoth Hudibras,
821:3,1073[A  ]| ""That cuckoo's tone, 
821:3,1074[A  ]| Ralpho, thou always harp'st upon.  
821:3,1075[A  ]| When thou at anything wouldst rail, 
821:3,1076[A  ]| Thou mak'st presbytery thy scale 
821:3,1077[A  ]| To take the height on 't, and explain 
821:3,1078[A  ]| To what degree it is profane.  
821:3,1079[A  ]| Whats'ever will not with thy (what d'y' call?) 
821:3,1080[A  ]| Thy "light" jump right thou call'st synodical; 
821:3,1081[A  ]| As if presbytery were a standard 
821:3,1082[A  ]| To size whats'ever's to be slandered.  
821:3,1083[A  ]| Dost not remember how this day 
821:3,1084[A  ]| Thou to my beard wast bold to say 
821:3,1085[A  ]| That thou could'st prove bear-baiting equal 
821:3,1086[A  ]| With synods orthodox and legal?  
821:3,1087[A  ]| Do if thou canst, for I deny 't, 
821:3,1088[A  ]| And dare thee to  't with all thy "light","" 
821:3,1089['  ]| Quoth Ralpho,
821:3,1089[B  ]| ""Truly that is no 
821:3,1090[B  ]| Hard matter for a man to do 
821:3,1091[B  ]| That has but any guts in's brains, 
821:3,1092[B  ]| And could believe it worth his pains.  
821:3,1093[B  ]| But since you dare and urge me to it, 
821:3,1094[B  ]| You'll find I've light enough to do it.  
821:3,1095[B  ]| ""Synods are mystical bear-gardens, 
821:3,1096[B  ]| Where elders, deputies, church-wardens 
821:3,1097[B  ]| And other members of the court 
821:3,1098[B  ]| Manage the Babylonish sport.  
821:3,1099[B  ]| For prolocutor, scribe and bearward 
821:3,1100[B  ]| Do differ only in a mere word.  
821:3,1101[B  ]| Both are but several synagogues 
821:3,1102[B  ]| Of carnal men, and bears and dogs; 
821:3,1103[B  ]| Both antichristian assemblies, 
821:3,1104[B  ]| To mischief bent as far's in them lies; 
821:3,1105[B  ]| Both stave and tail with fierce contests, 
821:3,1106[B  ]| The one with men, the other beasts.  
821:3,1107[B  ]| The difference is, the one fights with 
821:3,1108[B  ]| The tongue, the other with the teeth; 
821:3,1109[B  ]| And that they bait but bears in this, 
821:3,1110[B  ]| In th'other souls and consciences, 
821:3,1111[B  ]| Where saints themselves are brought to stake 
821:3,1112[B  ]| For gospel-light and conscience sake, 
821:3,1113[B  ]| Exposed to scribes and presbyters 
821:3,1114[B  ]| Instead of mastiff dogs and curs, 
821:3,1115[B  ]| Than whom they've less humanity, 
821:3,1116[B  ]| For these at souls of men will fly.  
821:3,1117[B  ]| This to the prophet did appear 
821:3,1118[B  ]| Who in a vision saw a bear, 
821:3,1119[B  ]| Prefiguring the beastly rage 
821:3,1120[B  ]| Of church rule in this latter age, 
821:3,1121[B  ]| As is demonstrated at full 
821:3,1122[B  ]| By him that baited the Pope's bull.  
821:3,1123[B  ]| Bears naturally are beasts of prey 
821:3,1124[B  ]| That live by rapine:  so do they.  
821:3,1125[B  ]| What are their orders, constitutions, 
821:3,1126[B  ]| Church-censures, curses, absolutions, 
821:3,1127[B  ]| But several mystic chains they make 
821:3,1128[B  ]| To tie poor Christians to the stake, 
821:3,1129[B  ]| And then set heathen officers, 
821:3,1130[B  ]| Instead of dogs, about their ears?  
821:3,1131[B  ]| For to prohibit and dispense, 
821:3,1132[B  ]| To find out or to make offence, 
821:3,1133[B  ]| Of hell and heaven to dispose, 
821:3,1134[B  ]| To play with souls at fast and loose, 
821:3,1135[B  ]| To set what characters they please, 
821:3,1136[B  ]| And mulcts on sin or godliness, 
821:3,1137[B  ]| Reduce the church to gospel-order 
821:3,1138[B  ]| By rapine, sacrilege and murder, 
821:3,1139[B  ]| To make presbytery supreme 
821:3,1140[B  ]| And kings themselves submit to them, 
821:3,1141[B  ]| And force all people, though against 
821:3,1142[B  ]| Their consciences, to turn saints, 
821:3,1143[B  ]| Must prove a pretty thriving trade 
821:3,1144[B  ]| When saints monopolists are made.  
821:3,1145[B  ]| When pious frauds and holy shifts 
821:3,1146[B  ]| Are "dispensations" and "gifts", 
821:3,1147[B  ]| Their godliness becomes mere ware 
821:3,1148[B  ]| And every synod but a fair.  
821:3,1149[B  ]| ""Synods are whelps of th'Inquisition, 
821:3,1150[B  ]| A mongrel breed of like pernicion, 
821:3,1151[B  ]| And, growing up, became the sires 
821:3,1152[B  ]| Of scribes, commissioners and triers, 
821:3,1153[B  ]| Whose business is by cunning sleight 
821:3,1154[B  ]| To cast a figure for men's light; 
821:3,1155[B  ]| To find in lines of beard and face 
821:3,1156[B  ]| The physiognomy of grace, 
821:3,1157[B  ]| And by the sound and twang of nose, 
821:3,1158[B  ]| If all be sound within disclose, 
821:3,1159[B  ]| Free from a crack or flaw of sinning, 
821:3,1160[B  ]| As men try pipkins by the ringing; 
821:3,1161[B  ]| By black caps underlaid with white 
821:3,1162[B  ]| Give certain guess at inward light; 
821:3,1163[B  ]| Which sergeants at the gospel wear 
821:3,1164[B  ]| To make their spiritual calling clear; 
821:3,1165[B  ]| The handkercher about the neck 
821:3,1166[B  ]| (Canonical crabat of Smeck, 
821:3,1167[B  ]| From whom the institution came 
821:3,1168[B  ]| When church and state they set on flame, 
821:3,1169[B  ]| And worn by them as badges then 
821:3,1170[B  ]| Of spiritual warfaring men) 
821:3,1171[B  ]| Judge rightly if regeneration 
821:3,1172[B  ]| Be of the newer cut in fashion.  
821:3,1173[B  ]| Sure 'tis an orthodox opinion 
821:3,1174[B  ]| That grace is founded in dominion.  
821:3,1175[B  ]| Great piety consists in pride; 
821:3,1176[B  ]| To rule is to be sanctified.  
821:3,1177[B  ]| To domineer and to control 
821:3,1178[B  ]| Both o'er the body and the soul 
821:3,1179[B  ]| Is the most perfect discipline 
821:3,1180[B  ]| Of church rule, and by right divine.  
821:3,1181[B  ]| Bel and the Dragon's chaplains were 
821:3,1182[B  ]| More moderate than these by far; 
821:3,1183[B  ]| For they, poor knaves, were glad to cheat 
821:3,1184[B  ]| To get their wives and children meat, 
821:3,1185[B  ]| But these will not be fobbed off so:  
821:3,1186[B  ]| They must have wealth and power too, 
821:3,1187[B  ]| Or else with blood and desolation 
821:3,1188[B  ]| They'll tear it out o'th' heart o'th' nation.  
821:3,1189[B  ]| ""Sure these themselves from primitive 
821:3,1190[B  ]| And heathen priesthood do derive 
821:3,1191[B  ]| When butchers were the only clerks, 
821:3,1192[B  ]| Elders and presbyters of kirks, 
821:3,1193[B  ]| Whose Directory was to kill, 
821:3,1194[B  ]| And some believe it is so still.  
821:3,1195[B  ]| The only difference is that then 
821:3,1196[B  ]| They slaughtered only beasts, now men.  
821:3,1197[B  ]| For then to sacrifice a bullock, 
821:3,1198[B  ]| Or now and then a child to Moloch, 
821:3,1199[B  ]| They count a vile abomination, 
821:3,1200[B  ]| But not to slaughter a whole nation.  
821:3,1201[B  ]| Presbytery does but translate 
821:3,1202[B  ]| The Papacy to a Free State, 
821:3,1203[B  ]| A Commonwealth of popery, 
821:3,1204[B  ]| Where every village is a see 
821:3,1205[B  ]| As well as Rome, and must maintain 
821:3,1206[B  ]| A tithe-pig metropolitan; 
821:3,1207[B  ]| Where every presbyter and deacon 
821:3,1208[B  ]| Commands the keys, for cheese and bacon, 
821:3,1209[B  ]| And every hamlet's governed 
821:3,1210[B  ]| By's holiness, the church's head, 
821:3,1211[B  ]| More haughty and severe in's place 
821:3,1212[B  ]| Than Gregory and Boniface.  
821:3,1213[B  ]| Such church must, surely, be a monster 
821:3,1214[B  ]| With many heads:  for, if we conster 
821:3,1215[B  ]| What in th'Apocalypse we find, 
821:3,1216[B  ]| According to th'apostles mind, 
821:3,1217[B  ]| 'Tis that the Whore of Babylon, 
821:3,1218[B  ]| With many heads, did ride upon; 
821:3,1219[B  ]| Which heads denote the sinful tribe 
821:3,1220[B  ]| Of deacon, priest, lay-elder, scribe.  
821:3,1221[B  ]| ""Lay-elder, Simeon to Levi, 
821:3,1222[B  ]| Whose little finger is as heavy 
821:3,1223[B  ]| As loins of patriarchs, prince-prelate, 
821:3,1224[B  ]| And bishop-secular.  This zealot 
821:3,1225[B  ]| Is of a mongrel, diverse kind, 
821:3,1226[B  ]| Cleric before, and lay behind; 
821:3,1227[B  ]| A lawless, linsey-woolsey brother, 
821:3,1228[B  ]| Half of one order, half another; 
821:3,1229[B  ]| A creature of amphibious nature, 
821:3,1230[B  ]| On land a beast, a fish in water; 
821:3,1231[B  ]| That always preys on grace or sin; 
821:3,1232[B  ]| A sheep without, a wolf within.  
821:3,1233[B  ]| This fierce inquisitor has chief 
821:3,1234[B  ]| Dominion over men's belief 
821:3,1235[B  ]| And manners; can pronounce a saint 
821:3,1236[B  ]| Idolatrous or ignorant, 
821:3,1237[B  ]| When superciliously he sifts 
821:3,1238[B  ]| Through coarsest bolter others' gifts; 
821:3,1239[B  ]| For all men live and judge amiss 
821:3,1240[B  ]| Whose talents jump not just with his.  
821:3,1241[B  ]| He'll lay on gifts with hands, and place 
821:3,1242[B  ]| On dullest noddle light and grace, 
821:3,1243[B  ]| The manufacture of the kirk; 
821:3,1244[B  ]| Those pastors are but th'handiwork 
821:3,1245[B  ]| Of his mechanic paws, instilling 
821:3,1246[B  ]| Divinity in them by feeling, 
821:3,1247[B  ]| From whence they start up chosen vessels, 
821:3,1248[B  ]| Made by contact, as men get measles.  
821:3,1249[B  ]| So cardinals, they say, do grope 
821:3,1250[B  ]| At th'other end of new-made pope.  
821:3,1251[A  ]| ""Hold!  Hold!""
821:3,1251['  ]| quoth Hudibras, ""
821:3,1251[A  ]| "Soft fire", 
821:3,1252[A  ]| They say, "does make sweet malt".  Good squire, 
821:3,1253[A  ]| \7Festina 7lente\, not too fast; 
821:3,1254[A  ]| For "Haste", the proverb says, "makes waste".  
821:3,1255[A  ]| The quirks and cavils thou dost make 
821:3,1256[A  ]| Are false, and built upon mistake; 
821:3,1257[A  ]| And I shall bring you, with your pack 
821:3,1258[A  ]| Of fallacies, t'elenchi back, 
821:3,1259[A  ]| And put your arguments in mood 
821:3,1260[A  ]| And figure to be understood.  
821:3,1261[A  ]| I'll force you by right ratincination 
821:3,1262[A  ]| To leave your vitiligation, 
821:3,1263[A  ]| And make you keep to th'question close 
821:3,1264[A  ]| And argue dialecticws.  
821:3,1265[A  ]| ""The question then, to state it first, 
821:3,1266[A  ]| Is which is better or which worst, 
821:3,1267[A  ]| Synods or bears.  Bears I avow 
821:3,1268[A  ]| To be the worst, and synods thou.  
821:3,1269[A  ]| But to make good th'assertion, 
821:3,1270[A  ]| Thou say'st they're really all one.  
821:3,1271[A  ]| If so, not worst; for if they're \7idem\, 
821:3,1272[A  ]| Why then, \""7Tantundem 7dat 7tantidem"\.  
821:3,1273[A  ]| For if they are the same, by course 
821:3,1274[A  ]| Neither is better, neither worse.  
821:3,1275[A  ]| But I deny they are the same, 
821:3,1276[A  ]| More than a maggot and I am.  
821:3,1277[A  ]| That both are \7animalia\ 
821:3,1278[A  ]| I grant, but not \7rationalia\; 
821:3,1279[A  ]| For though they do agree in kind, 
821:3,1280[A  ]| Specific difference we find, 
821:3,1281[A  ]| And can no more make bears of these 
821:3,1282[A  ]| Than prove my horse is Socrates.  
821:3,1283[A  ]| ""That synods are bear-gardens too 
821:3,1284[A  ]| Thou dost affirm; but I say "No", 
821:3,1285[A  ]| And thus I prove it in a word:  
821:3,1286[A  ]| Whats'ever assembly's not empowered 
821:3,1287[A  ]| To censure, curse, absolve and ordain 
821:3,1288[A  ]| Can be no synod; but bear-garden 
821:3,1289[A  ]| Has no such power; \7ergo\ 'tis none.  
821:3,1290[A  ]| And so thy sophistry's o'erthrown.  
821:3,1291[A  ]| ""But yet we are beside the question 
821:3,1292[A  ]| Which thou didst raise the first contest on; 
821:3,1293[A  ]| For that was "Whether bears are better 
821:3,1294[A  ]| Than synod-men".  I say "\Negative\, 
821:3,1295[A  ]| That bears are beasts, and synods men, 
821:3,1296[A  ]| Is held by all.  They're better then.  
821:3,1297[A  ]| For bears and dogs on four legs go, 
821:3,1298[A  ]| As beasts, but synod-men on two.  
821:3,1299[A  ]| 'Tis true they all have teeth and nails; 
821:3,1300[A  ]| But prove that synod-men have tails; 
821:3,1301[A  ]| Or that a rugged, shaggy fur 
821:3,1302[A  ]| Grows o'er the hide of presbyter; 
821:3,1303[A  ]| Or that his snout and spacious ears 
821:3,1304[A  ]| Do hold proportion with a bear's.  
821:3,1305[A  ]| A bear's a savage beast, of all 
821:3,1306[A  ]| Most ugly and unnatural, 
821:3,1307[A  ]| Whelped without form, until the dam 
821:3,1308[A  ]| Have licked him into shape and frame; 
821:3,1309[A  ]| But all thy light can ne'er evict 
821:3,1310[A  ]| That ever synod-man was licked, 
821:3,1311[A  ]| Or brought to any other fashion 
821:3,1312[A  ]| Than his own will and inclination.  
821:3,1313[A  ]| ""But thou dost further yet in this 
821:3,1314[A  ]| Oppugn thyself and sense, that is, 
821:3,1315[A  ]| Thou wouldst have presbyters to go 
821:3,1316[A  ]| For bears and dogs and bearwards too.  
821:3,1317[A  ]| A strange chimera of beasts and men, 
821:3,1318[A  ]| Made up of pieces heterogene, 
821:3,1319[A  ]| Such as in nature never met 
821:3,1320[A  ]| \7In 7eodem 7subjecto\ yet!  
821:3,1321[A  ]| ""Thy other arguments are all 
821:3,1322[A  ]| Supposures, hypothetical, 
821:3,1323[A  ]| That do but beg, and we may choose 
821:3,1324[A  ]| Either to grant or refuse.  
821:3,1325[A  ]| Much thou hast said which, I know when 
821:3,1326[A  ]| And where, thou stol'st from other men 
821:3,1327[A  ]| (Whereby 'tis plain thy "light" and "gifts" 
821:3,1328[A  ]| Are all but plagiary shifts), 
821:3,1329[A  ]| And is the same that ranter said 
821:3,1330[A  ]| That, arguing with me, broke my head, 
821:3,1331[A  ]| And tore a handful of my beard.  
821:3,1332[A  ]| The self-same cavils then I heard, 
821:3,1333[A  ]| When being in hot dispute about 
821:3,1334[A  ]| This controversy, we fell out, 
821:3,1335[A  ]| And what thou know'st I answered then 
821:3,1336[A  ]| Will serve to answer thee again."" 
821:3,1337['  ]| Quoth Ralpho,
821:3,1337[B  ]| ""Nothing but th'abuse 
821:3,1338[B  ]| Of human learning you produce; 
821:3,1339[B  ]| Learning, that cobweb of the brain, 
821:3,1340[B  ]| Profane, erroneous and vain; 
821:3,1341[B  ]| A trade of knowledge as replete 
821:3,1342[B  ]| As others are with fraud and cheat; 
821:3,1343[B  ]| An art t'encumber gifts and wit, 
821:3,1344[B  ]| And render both for nothing fit; 
821:3,1345[B  ]| Makes light unactive, dull and troubled, 
821:3,1346[B  ]| Like little David in Saul's doublet; 
821:3,1347[B  ]| A cheat that scholars put upon 
821:3,1348[B  ]| Other men's reason and their own; 
821:3,1349[B  ]| A fort of error, to ensconce 
821:3,1350[B  ]| Absurdity and ignorance; 
821:3,1351[B  ]| That renders all the avenues 
821:3,1352[B  ]| To truth impervious and abstruse, 
821:3,1353[B  ]| By making plain things, in debate, 
821:3,1354[B  ]| By art perplexed and intricate:  
821:3,1355[B  ]| For nothing goes for sense or light 
821:3,1356[B  ]| That will not with old rules jump right; 
821:3,1357[B  ]| As if rules were not in the schools 
821:3,1358[B  ]| Derived from truth, but truth from rules.  
821:3,1359[B  ]| ""This pagan, heathenish invention 
821:3,1360[B  ]| Is good for nothing but contention.  
821:3,1361[B  ]| For as in sword-and-buckler fight 
821:3,1362[B  ]| All blows do on the target light, 
821:3,1363[B  ]| So when men argue, the great'st part 
821:3,1364[B  ]| O'th' contest falls on terms of art, 
821:3,1365[B  ]| Until the fustian stuff be spent, 
821:3,1366[B  ]| And then they fall to th'argument."" 
821:3,1367['  ]| Quoth Hudibras,
821:3,1367[A  ]| ""Friend Ralph, thou hast 
821:3,1368[A  ]| Out-run the constable at last; 
821:3,1369[A  ]| For thou art fallen on a new 
821:3,1370[A  ]| Dispute, as senseless as untrue, 
821:3,1371[A  ]| But to the former opposite 
821:3,1372[A  ]| And contrary as black to white; 
821:3,1373[A  ]| Mere \7disparata\, that concerning 
821:3,1374[A  ]| Presbytery, this, human learning; 
821:3,1375[A  ]| Two things s'averse, they never yet 
821:3,1376[A  ]| But in thy rambling fancy met.  
821:3,1377[A  ]| But I shall take a fit occasion 
821:3,1378[A  ]| T'evince thee by ratiocination 
821:3,1379[A  ]| Some other time, in place more proper 
821:3,1380[A  ]| Than this we're in; therefore let's stop here 
821:3,1381[A  ]| And rest our wearied bones awhile, 
821:3,1382[A  ]| Already tired with other toil.  
823:01,000['  ]| <The Elephant in the Moon> 
823:01,001['  ]| A learn'd society of late, 
823:01,002['  ]| The glory of a foreign state, 
823:01,003['  ]| Agreed upon a summer's night 
823:01,004['  ]| To search the moon by her own light 
823:01,005['  ]| To take an inventory of all 
823:01,006['  ]| Her real estate and personal, 
823:01,007['  ]| And make an accurate survey 
823:01,008['  ]| Of all her lands, and how they lay, 
823:01,009['  ]| As true as that of Ireland, where 
823:01,010['  ]| The sly surveyors stole a shire; 
823:01,011['  ]| T'observe her country how 'twas planted, 
823:01,012['  ]| With what sh'abounded most or wanted, 
823:01,013['  ]| And make the properest observations 
823:01,014['  ]| For settling of new plantations, 
823:01,015['  ]| If the society should incline 
823:01,016['  ]| T'attempt so glorious a design.  
823:01,017['  ]| This was the purpose of their meeting, 
823:01,018['  ]| For which they chose a time as fitting, 
823:01,019['  ]| When at the full her radiant light 
823:01,020['  ]| And influence too were at their height.  
823:01,021['  ]| And now the lofty tube, the scale 
823:01,022['  ]| With which they heaven itself assail, 
823:01,023['  ]| Was mounted full against the moon, 
823:01,024['  ]| And all stood ready to fall on, 
823:01,025['  ]| Impatient who should have the honour 
823:01,026['  ]| To plant an ensign first upon her.  
823:01,027['  ]| When one who for his deep belief 
823:01,028['  ]| Was virtuoso then in chief, 
823:01,029['  ]| Approved the most profound and wise 
823:01,030['  ]| To solve impossibilities, 
823:01,031['  ]| Advancing gravely to apply 
823:01,032['  ]| To th'optic glass his judging eye, 
823:01,033['  ]| Cried ""Strange!"" ~~ then reinforced his sight 
823:01,034['  ]| Against the moon with all his might, 
823:01,035['  ]| And bent his penetrating brow 
823:01,036['  ]| As if he meant to gaze her through.  
823:01,037['  ]| When all the rest began t'admire, 
823:01,038['  ]| And like a train from him took fire, 
823:01,039['  ]| Surprized with wonder beforehand 
823:01,040['  ]| At what they did not understand, 
823:01,041['  ]| Cried out, impatient to know what 
823:01,042['  ]| The matter was they wondered at.  
823:01,043['  ]| Quoth he, ""Th'inhabitants o'th' moon!  
823:01,044['  ]| Who when the sun shines hot at noon 
823:01,045['  ]| Do live in cellars underground 
823:01,046['  ]| Of eight miles deep and eighty round 
823:01,047['  ]| (In which at once they fortify 
823:01,048['  ]| Against the sun and th'enemy), 
823:01,049['  ]| Which they count towns and cities there 
823:01,050['  ]| Because their people's civiler 
823:01,051['  ]| Than those rude peasants that are found 
823:01,052['  ]| To live upon the upper ground, 
823:01,053['  ]| Called Privolvans, with whom they are 
823:01,054['  ]| Perpetually in open war.  
823:01,055['  ]| And now both armies, highly 'nraged, 
823:01,056['  ]| Are in a bloody fight engaged, 
823:01,057['  ]| And many fall on both sides slain, 
823:01,058['  ]| As by the glass 'tis clear and plain.  
823:01,059['  ]| Look quickly then, that everyone 
823:01,060['  ]| May see the fight before 'tis done."" 
823:01,061['  ]| With that a great philosopher, 
823:01,062['  ]| Admired and famous far and near 
823:01,063['  ]| As one of singular invention 
823:01,064['  ]| But universal comprehension, 
823:01,065['  ]| Applied one eye and half a nose 
823:01,066['  ]| Unto the optic engine close.  
823:01,067['  ]| For he had lately undertook 
823:01,068['  ]| To prove, and publish in a book, 
823:01,069['  ]| That men whose natural eyes are out 
823:01,070['  ]| May by more powerful art be brought 
823:01,071['  ]| To see with th'empty holes as plain 
823:01,072['  ]| As if their eyes were in again, 
823:01,073['  ]| And (if they chanced to fail of those) 
823:01,074['  ]| To make an optic of a nose, 
823:01,075['  ]| As clearly 't may by those that wear 
823:01,076['  ]| But spectacles be made appear, 
823:01,077['  ]| By which both senses' being united 
823:01,078['  ]| Does render them much better sighted.  
823:01,079['  ]| This great man, having fixed both sights 
823:01,080['  ]| To view the formidable fights, 
823:01,081['  ]| Observed his best, and then cried out, 
823:01,082['  ]| ""The battle's desperately fought:  
823:01,083['  ]| The gallant Subvolvani rally, 
823:01,084['  ]| And from their trenches make a sally 
823:01,085['  ]| Upon the stubborn enemy, 
823:01,086['  ]| Who now begin to rout and fly.  
823:01,087['  ]| ""These silly, ranting Privolvans 
823:01,088['  ]| Have every summer their campaigns, 
823:01,089['  ]| And muster like the warlike sons 
823:01,090['  ]| Of Rawhead and of Bloody-Bones, 
823:01,091['  ]| As numerous as soland-geese 
823:01,092['  ]| I'th'islands of the Orcades, 
823:01,093['  ]| Courageously to make a stand 
823:01,094['  ]| And face their neighbours hand to hand 
823:01,095['  ]| Until the longed-for winter's come, 
823:01,096['  ]| And then return in triumph home 
823:01,097['  ]| To spend the rest o'th' year in lies 
823:01,098['  ]| And vapouring of their victories.  
823:01,099['  ]| ""From th'old Arcadians they're believed 
823:01,100['  ]| To be, before the moon, derived; 
823:01,101['  ]| And when her orb was new-created 
823:01,102['  ]| To people her were thence translated.  
823:01,103['  ]| For as th'Arcadians were reputed 
823:01,104['  ]| Of all the Grecians the most stupid, 
823:01,105['  ]| Whom nothing in the world could bring 
823:01,106['  ]| To civil life but fiddling, 
823:01,107['  ]| They still remain the antique course 
823:01,108['  ]| And custom of their ancestors, 
823:01,109['  ]| And always sing and fiddle to 
823:01,110['  ]| Things of the greatest weight they do."" 
823:01,111['  ]| While thus the learn'd man entertains 
823:01,112['  ]| Th' assembly with the Privolvans, 
823:01,113['  ]| Another of as great renown 
823:01,114['  ]| And solid judgment in the moon, 
823:01,115['  ]| That understood her various soils 
823:01,116['  ]| And which produced best gennet-moyles, 
823:01,117['  ]| And in the register of fame 
823:01,118['  ]| Had entered his long-living name, 
823:01,119['  ]| After he had pored long and hard 
823:01,120['  ]| In th'engine, gave a start and stared.  
823:01,121['  ]| Quoth he, ""A stranger sight appears 
823:01,122['  ]| Than e'er was seen in all the spheres, 
823:01,123['  ]| A wonder more unparalleled 
823:01,124['  ]| Than ever mortal tube beheld.  
823:01,125['  ]| An elephant from one of those 
823:01,126['  ]| Two mighty armies is broke loose, 
823:01,127['  ]| And with the horror of the fight 
823:01,128['  ]| Appears amazed and in a fright.  
823:01,129['  ]| Look quickly, lest the sight of us 
823:01,130['  ]| Should cause the startled beast t'imboss.  
823:01,131['  ]| ""It is a large one, far more great 
823:01,132['  ]| Than e'er was bred in Afric yet; 
823:01,133['  ]| From which we boldly may infer 
823:01,134['  ]| The moon is much the fruitfuller.  
823:01,135['  ]| And since the mighty Pyrrhus brought 
823:01,136['  ]| Those living castles first, 'tis thought, 
823:01,137['  ]| Against the Romans in the field, 
823:01,138['  ]| It may an argument be held 
823:01,139['  ]| (Arcadia being but a piece, 
823:01,140['  ]| As his dominions were, of Greece) 
823:01,141['  ]| To prove what this illustrious person 
823:01,142['  ]| Has made so noble a discourse on, 
823:01,143['  ]| And amply satisfied us all 
823:01,144['  ]| O'th' Privolvans' original.  
823:01,145['  ]| ""That elephants are in the moon, 
823:01,146['  ]| Though we had now discovered none, 
823:01,147['  ]| Is easily made manifest, 
823:01,148['  ]| Since from the greatest to the least 
823:01,149['  ]| All other stars and constellations 
823:01,150['  ]| Have cattle of all sorts of nations, 
823:01,151['  ]| And heaven, like a Tartar's horde, 
823:01,152['  ]| With great and numerous droves is stored; 
823:01,153['  ]| And if the moon produce by nature  
823:01,154['  ]| A people of so vast a stature, 
823:01,155['  ]| 'Tis consequent she should bring forth 
823:01,156['  ]| Far greater beasts too than the earth 
823:01,157['  ]| (As by the best accounts appears 
823:01,158['  ]| Of all our great'st discoverers), 
823:01,159['  ]| And that those monstrous creatures there 
823:01,160['  ]| Are not such rarities as here."" 
823:01,161['  ]| Meanwhile the rest had had a sight 
823:01,162['  ]| Of all particulars o'th' fight, 
823:01,163['  ]| And every man with equal care 
823:01,164['  ]| Perused of th'elephant his share, 
823:01,165['  ]| Proud of his interest in the glory 
823:01,166['  ]| Of so miraculous a story, 
823:01,167['  ]| When one who for his excellence 
823:01,168['  ]| In heightening words and shadowing sense 
823:01,169['  ]| And magnifying all he writ 
823:01,170['  ]| With curious microscopic wit, 
823:01,171['  ]| Was magnified himself no less 
823:01,172['  ]| In home and foreign colleges, 
823:01,173['  ]| Began, transported with the twang 
823:01,174['  ]| Of his own \trillo\, thus t'harangue:  
823:01,175['  ]| ""Most excellent and virtuous friends, 
823:01,176['  ]| This great discovery makes amends 
823:01,177['  ]| For all our unsuccessful pains 
823:01,178['  ]| And lost expense of time and brains.  
823:01,179['  ]| For by this sole phenomenon 
823:01,180['  ]| We've gotten ground upon the moon, 
823:01,181['  ]| And gained a pass, to hold dispute 
823:01,182['  ]| With all the planets that stand out, 
823:01,183['  ]| To carry this most virtuous war 
823:01,184['  ]| Home to the door of every star, 
823:01,185['  ]| And plant th'artillery of our tubes 
823:01,186['  ]| Against their proudest magnitudes, 
823:01,187['  ]| To stretch our victories beyond 
823:01,188['  ]| Th'extent of planetary ground, 
823:01,189['  ]| And fix our engines and our ensigns 
823:01,190['  ]| Upon the fixed stars' vast dimensions 
823:01,191['  ]| (Which Archimede so long ago 
823:01,192['  ]| Durst not presume to wish to do), 
823:01,193['  ]| And prove if they are other suns, 
823:01,194['  ]| As some have held opinions, 
823:01,195['  ]| Or windows in th'empyreum 
823:01,196['  ]| From whence those bright effluvias come 
823:01,197['  ]| Like flames of fire (as others guess) 
823:01,198['  ]| That shine i'th' mouths of furnaces.  
823:01,199['  ]| ""Nor is this all we have achieved, 
823:01,200['  ]| But more:  henceforth to be believed, 
823:01,201['  ]| And have no more our best designs, 
823:01,202['  ]| Because they're ours, believed ill signs.  
823:01,203['  ]| T'out-throw, and stretch, and to enlarge 
823:01,204['  ]| Shall now no more be laid t'our charge; 
823:01,205['  ]| Nor shall our ablest virtuosos 
823:01,206['  ]| Prove arguments for coffee-houses; 
823:01,207['  ]| Nor those devices that are laid 
823:01,208['  ]| Too truly on us, nor those made, 
823:01,209['  ]| Hereafter gain belief among 
823:01,210['  ]| Our strictest judges, right or wrong.  
823:01,211['  ]| Nor shall our past misfortunes more 
823:01,212['  ]| Be charged upon the ancient score:  
823:01,213['  ]| No more our making old dogs young 
823:01,214['  ]| Make men suspect us still i'th' wrong; 
823:01,215['  ]| Nor new-invented chariots draw 
823:01,216['  ]| The boys to course us without law; 
823:01,217['  ]| Nor putting pigs t'a bitch to nurse, 
823:01,218['  ]| To turn 'em into mongrel curs, 
823:01,219['  ]| Make them suspect our skulls are brittle 
823:01,220['  ]| And hold too much wit or too little; 
823:01,221['  ]| Nor shall our speculations whether 
823:01,222['  ]| An elder-stick will save the leather 
823:01,223['  ]| Of schoolboys' breeches from the rod 
823:01,224['  ]| Make all we do appear as odd.  
823:01,225['  ]| This one discovery's enough 
823:01,226['  ]| To take all former scandals off.  
823:01,227['  ]| ""But since the world's incredulous 
823:01,228['  ]| Of all our scrutinies, and us, 
823:01,229['  ]| And with a prejudice prevents 
823:01,230['  ]| Our best and worst experiments 
823:01,231['  ]| (As if th'were destined to miscarry, 
823:01,232['  ]| In consort tried or solitary), 
823:01,233['  ]| And since it is uncertain when 
823:01,234['  ]| Such wonders will occur again, 
823:01,235['  ]| Let us as cautiously contrive 
823:01,236['  ]| To draw an exact narrative 
823:01,237['  ]| Of what we every one can swear 
823:01,238['  ]| Our eyes themselves have seen appear, 
823:01,239['  ]| That when we publish the account 
823:01,240['  ]| We all may take our oaths upon 't."" 
823:01,241['  ]| This said, they all with one consent 
823:01,242['  ]| Agreed to draw up th'instrument 
823:01,243['  ]| And, for the general satisfaction, 
823:01,244['  ]| To print it in the next \Transaction\.  
823:01,245['  ]| But whilst the chiefs were drawing up 
823:01,246['  ]| This strange memoir o'th' telescope, 
823:01,247['  ]| One, peeping in the tube by chance, 
823:01,248['  ]| Beheld the elephant advance, 
823:01,249['  ]| And from the west side of the moon 
823:01,250['  ]| To th'east was in a moment gone.  
823:01,251['  ]| This being related gave a stop 
823:01,252['  ]| To what the rest were drawing up; 
823:01,253['  ]| And every man, amazed anew 
823:01,254['  ]| How it could possibly be true 
823:01,255['  ]| That any beast should run a race 
823:01,256['  ]| So monstrous in so short a space, 
823:01,257['  ]| Resolved, howe'er, to make it good ~~  
823:01,258['  ]| At least, as possible as he could ~~  
823:01,259['  ]| And rather his own eyes condemn 
823:01,260['  ]| Than question what he'd seen with them.  
823:01,261['  ]| While all were thus resolved, a man 
823:01,262['  ]| Of great renown there, thus began:  
823:01,263['  ]| ""'Tis strange, I grant.  But who can say 
823:01,264['  ]| What cannot be, what can, and may ~~  
823:01,265['  ]| Especially at so hugely vast 
823:01,266['  ]| A distance as this wonder's placed, 
823:01,267['  ]| Where the least error of the sight 
823:01,268['  ]| May show things false, but never right?  
823:01,269['  ]| Nor can we try them, so far off, 
823:01,270['  ]| By any sublunary proof; 
823:01,271['  ]| For who can say that nature there 
823:01,272['  ]| Has the same laws she goes by here?  
823:01,273['  ]| Nor is it like she has infused 
823:01,274['  ]| In every species there produced 
823:01,275['  ]| The same efforts she does confer 
823:01,276['  ]| Upon the same productions here, 
823:01,277['  ]| Since those with us of several nations 
823:01,278['  ]| Have such prodigious variations, 
823:01,279['  ]| And she affects so much to use 
823:01,280['  ]| Variety in all she does.  
823:01,281['  ]| Hence may b'inferred that, though I grant 
823:01,282['  ]| We've seen i'th' moon an elephant, 
823:01,283['  ]| That elephant may differ so 
823:01,284['  ]| From those upon the earth below 
823:01,285['  ]| Both in his bulk and force and speed, 
823:01,286['  ]| As being of a different breed, 
823:01,287['  ]| That, though our own are but slow-paced, 
823:01,288['  ]| Theirs there may fly, or run as fast, 
823:01,289['  ]| And yet be elephants no less 
823:01,290['  ]| Than those of Indian pedigrees."" 
823:01,291['  ]| This said, another of great worth, 
823:01,292['  ]| Famed for his learned works put forth, 
823:01,293['  ]| Looked wise, then said, ""All this is true, 
823:01,294['  ]| And learnedly observed by you.  
823:01,295['  ]| But there's another reason for't, 
823:01,296['  ]| That falls but very short 
823:01,297['  ]| Of mathematic demonstration 
823:01,298['  ]| Upon an accurate calculation, 
823:01,299['  ]| And that is:  As the earth and moon 
823:01,300['  ]| Do both move contrary upon 
823:01,301['  ]| Their axes, the rapidity 
823:01,302['  ]| Of both their motions cannot be 
823:01,303['  ]| But so prodigiously fast 
823:01,304['  ]| That vaster spaces may be passed 
823:01,305['  ]| In less time than the beast has gone, 
823:01,306['  ]| Though he'd no motion of his own; 
823:01,307['  ]| Which we can take no measure of, 
823:01,308['  ]| As you have cleared by learned proof.  
823:01,309['  ]| This granted, we may boldly thence 
823:01,310['  ]| Lay claim t'a nobler inference, 
823:01,311['  ]| And make this great phenomenon 
823:01,312['  ]| (Were there no other) serve alone 
823:01,313['  ]| To clear the grand hypothesis 
823:01,314['  ]| O'th' motion of the earth from this."" 
823:01,315['  ]| With this they all were satisfied, 
823:01,316['  ]| As men are wont o'th' biased side, 
823:01,317['  ]| Applauded the profound dispute, 
823:01,318['  ]| And grew more gay and resolute 
823:01,319['  ]| By having overcome all doubt 
823:01,320['  ]| Than if it never had fall'n out, 
823:01,321['  ]| And to complete their narrative 
823:01,322['  ]| Agreed t'insert this strange retrieve.  
823:01,323['  ]| But while they were diverted all 
823:01,324['  ]| With wording the memorial, 
823:01,325['  ]| The footboys for diversion too, 
823:01,326['  ]| As having nothing else to do, 
823:01,327['  ]| Seeing the telescope at leisure, 
823:01,328['  ]| Turned virtuosos for their pleasure, 
823:01,329['  ]| Began to gaze upon the moon 
823:01,330['  ]| As those they waited on had done, 
823:01,331['  ]| With monkey's ingenuity 
823:01,332['  ]| That love to practise what they see.  
823:01,333['  ]| When one, whose turn it was to peep, 
823:01,334['  ]| Saw something in the engine creep, 
823:01,335['  ]| And, viewing well, discovered more 
823:01,336['  ]| Than all the learn'd had done before.  
823:01,337['  ]| Quoth he, ""A little thing is slunk 
823:01,338['  ]| Into the long star-gazing trunk, 
823:01,339['  ]| And now is gotten down so nigh 
823:01,340['  ]| I have him just against my eye."" 
823:01,341['  ]| This being overheard by one 
823:01,342['  ]| Who was not so far overgrown 
823:01,343['  ]| In any virtuous speculation 
823:01,344['  ]| To judge by mere imagination, 
823:01,345['  ]| Immediately he made a guess 
823:01,346['  ]| At solving all appearances 
823:01,347['  ]| (A way far more significant 
823:01,348['  ]| Than all their hints of th'elephant), 
823:01,349['  ]| And found upon a second view 
823:01,350['  ]| His own hypothesis most true:  
823:01,351['  ]| For he had scarce applied his eye 
823:01,352['  ]| To th'engine but immediately 
823:01,353['  ]| He found a mouse was gotten in 
823:01,354['  ]| The hollow tube and, shut between 
823:01,355['  ]| The two glass windows in restraint, 
823:01,356['  ]| Was swelled into an elephant, 
823:01,357['  ]| And proved the virtuous occasion 
823:01,358['  ]| Of all this learned dissertation.  
823:01,359['  ]| And as a mountain heretofore 
823:01,360['  ]| Was great with child, they say, and bore 
823:01,361['  ]| A silly mouse, this mouse as strange 
823:01,362['  ]| Brought forth a mountain in exchange.  
823:01,363['  ]| Meanwhile the rest in consultation 
823:01,364['  ]| Had penned the wonderful narration, 
823:01,365['  ]| And set their hands and seals and wit 
823:01,366['  ]| T'attest the truth of what they'd writ, 
823:01,367['  ]| When this accurst phenomenon 
823:01,368['  ]| Confounded all they'd said or done.  
823:01,369['  ]| For 'twas no sooner hinted at 
823:01,370['  ]| But th'all were in a tumult straight, 
823:01,371['  ]| More furiously enraged by far 
823:01,372['  ]| Than those that in the moon made war, 
823:01,373['  ]| To find so admirable a hint, 
823:01,374['  ]| When they had all agreed t'have seen 't 
823:01,375['  ]| And were engaged to make it out, 
823:01,376['  ]| Obstructed with a paltry doubt.  
823:01,377['  ]| When one whose task was to determine 
823:01,378['  ]| And solve th'appearances of vermin, 
823:01,379['  ]| Who'd made profound discoveries 
823:01,380['  ]| In frogs and toads and rats and mice 
823:01,381['  ]| (Though not so curious, 'tis true, 
823:01,382['  ]| As many a wise rat-catcher knew), 
823:01,383['  ]| After he had with signs made way 
823:01,384['  ]| For something great he had to say, 
823:01,385['  ]| At last prevailed:  ""This disquisition 
823:01,386['  ]| Is half of it in my discission; 
823:01,387['  ]| For though the elephant as beast 
823:01,388['  ]| Belongs of right to all the rest, 
823:01,389['  ]| The mouse, being but a vermin, none 
823:01,390['  ]| Has title to but I alone; 
823:01,391['  ]| And therefore hope I may be heard 
823:01,392['  ]| In my own province with regard.  
823:01,393['  ]| ""It is no wonder we're cried down 
823:01,394['  ]| And made the talk of all the town, 
823:01,395['  ]| That rants and swears for all our great 
823:01,396['  ]| Attempts we have done nothing yet, 
823:01,397['  ]| If every one have leave to doubt, 
823:01,398['  ]| When some great secret's half made out, 
823:01,399['  ]| And, 'cause perhaps it is not true, 
823:01,400['  ]| Obstruct and ruin all we do.  
823:01,401['  ]| And no great act was ever done, 
823:01,402['  ]| Nor ever can, with truth alone, 
823:01,403['  ]| If nothing else but truth w'allow, 
823:01,404['  ]| "Tis no great matter what we do.  
823:01,405['  ]| For truth is too reserved and nice 
823:01,406['  ]| T'appear in mixed societies, 
823:01,407['  ]| Delights in solitary abodes, 
823:01,408['  ]| And never shows herself in crowds, 
823:01,409['  ]| A sullen little thing below 
823:01,410['  ]| All matters of pretence and show, 
823:01,411['  ]| That deal in novelty and change, 
823:01,412['  ]| Not of things true, but rare and strange, 
823:01,413['  ]| To treat the world with what is fit 
823:01,414['  ]| And proper to its natural wit ~~  
823:01,415['  ]| The world, that never sets esteem 
823:01,416['  ]| On what things are, but what they seem, 
823:01,417['  ]| And if they be not strange and new, 
823:01,418['  ]| They're ne'er the better for being true.  
823:01,419['  ]| ""For what has mankind gained by knowing 
823:01,420['  ]| His little truth but his undoing, 
823:01,421['  ]| Which wisely was by nature hidden, 
823:01,422['  ]| And only for his good forbidden?  
823:01,423['  ]| And therefore with great prudence does 
823:01,424['  ]| The world still strive to keep it close; 
823:01,425['  ]| For if all secret truths were known, 
823:01,426['  ]| Who would not be once more undone?  
823:01,427['  ]| For truth has always danger in't, 
823:01,428['  ]| And here perhaps may cross some hint 
823:01,429['  ]| We have already agreed upon, 
823:01,430['  ]| And vainly frustrate all we've done, 
823:01,431['  ]| Only to make new work for Stubbs 
823:01,432['  ]| And all the academic clubs.  
823:01,433['  ]| ""How much then ought we have a care 
823:01,434['  ]| That no man know above his share, 
823:01,435['  ]| Nor dare to understand henceforth 
823:01,436['  ]| More than his contribution's worth, 
823:01,437['  ]| That those who've purchased of the College 
823:01,438['  ]| A share or half a share of knowledge 
823:01,439['  ]| And brought in one, but spent repute, 
823:01,440['  ]| Should not b'admitted to dispute, 
823:01,441['  ]| Nor any man pretend to know 
823:01,442['  ]| More than his dividend comes to!  
823:01,443['  ]| For partners have been always known 
823:01,444['  ]| To cheat their public interest prone; 
823:01,445['  ]| And if we do not look to ours, 
823:01,446['  ]| 'Tis sure to run the selfsame course."" 
823:01,447['  ]| This said, the whole assembly allowed 
823:01,448['  ]| The doctrine to be right and good, 
823:01,449['  ]| And from the truth of what they'd heard 
823:01,450['  ]| Resolved:  to give truth no regard, 
823:01,451['  ]| But what was for their turn to vouch, 
823:01,452['  ]| And either find or make it such; 
823:01,453['  ]| That 'twas more noble to create 
823:01,454['  ]| Things like truth out of strong conceit 
823:01,455['  ]| Than with vexatious pains and doubt 
823:01,456['  ]| To find, or think t'have found, her out.  
823:01,457['  ]| This being resolved, they one by one 
823:01,458['  ]| Reviewed the tube, the mouse, and moon; 
823:01,459['  ]| But still the narrower they pried, 
823:01,460['  ]| The more they were unsatisfied, 
823:01,461['  ]| In no one thing they saw agreeing, 
823:01,462['  ]| As if they'd several faiths of seeing.  
823:01,463['  ]| Some swore upon a second view 
823:01,464['  ]| That all they'd seen before was true, 
823:01,465['  ]| And that they never would recant 
823:01,466['  ]| One syllable of th'elephant; 
823:01,467['  ]| Avowed his snout could be no mouse's, 
823:01,468['  ]| But a true elephant's proboscis.  
823:01,469['  ]| Others began to doubt and waver, 
823:01,470['  ]| Uncertain which o'th' two to favour, 
823:01,471['  ]| And knew not whether to espouse 
823:01,472['  ]| The cause of th'elephant or mouse.  
823:01,473['  ]| Some held no way so orthodox 
823:01,474['  ]| To try it as the ballot-box, 
823:01,475['  ]| And like the nations patriots 
823:01,476['  ]| To find or make the truth by votes.  
823:01,477['  ]| Others conceived it much more fit 
823:01,478['  ]| T'unmount the tube and open it, 
823:01,479['  ]| And for their private satisfaction 
823:01,480['  ]| To re-examine the transaction, 
823:01,481['  ]| And after explicate the rest 
823:01,482['  ]| As they should find cause for the best.  
823:01,483['  ]| To this, as th'only expedient, 
823:01,484['  ]| The whole assembly gave consent.  
823:01,485['  ]| But e'er the tube was half let down, 
823:01,486['  ]| It cleared the first phenomenon; 
823:01,487['  ]| For at the end prodigious swarms 
823:01,488['  ]| Of flies and gnats, like men in arms, 
823:01,489['  ]| Had all passed muster by mischance 
823:01,490['  ]| Both for the Sub- and Privolvans.  
823:01,491['  ]| This being discovered put them all 
823:01,492['  ]| Into a fresh and fiercer brawl, 
823:01,493['  ]| Ashamed that men so grave and wise 
823:01,494['  ]| Should be chaldesed by gnats and flies, 
823:01,495['  ]| And take the feeble insects' swarms 
823:01,496['  ]| For mighty troops of men-at-arms ~~  
823:01,497['  ]| As vain as those who, when the moon 
823:01,498['  ]| Bright in a crystal river shone, 
823:01,499['  ]| Threw casting-nets as subtly at her 
823:01,500['  ]| To catch and pull her out o'th' water.  
823:01,501['  ]| But when they had unscrewed the glass 
823:01,502['  ]| To find out where th'impostor was, 
823:01,503['  ]| And saw the mouse that by mishap 
823:01,504['  ]| Had made the telescope a trap, 
823:01,505['  ]| Amazed, confounded, and afflicted 
823:01,506['  ]| To be so openly convicted, 
823:01,507['  ]| Immediately they get them gone 
823:01,508['  ]| With this discovery alone:  
823:01,509['  ]| That those who greedily pursue 
823:01,510['  ]| Things wonderful instead of true, 
823:01,511['  ]| That in their speculations choose 
823:01,512['  ]| To make discoveries strange news, 
823:01,513['  ]| And natural history a gazette 
823:01,514['  ]| Of tales stupendous and far-fet, 
823:01,515['  ]| Hold no truth worthy to be known 
823:01,516['  ]| That is not huge and overgrown, 
823:01,517['  ]| And explicate appearances 
823:01,518['  ]| Not as they are, but as they please, 
823:01,519['  ]| In vain strive nature to suborn, 
823:01,520['  ]| And for their pains are paid with scorn.  
823:02,000['  ]| <Satire upon the Royal Society> 
823:02,001['  ]| A learned man, whom once a week 
823:02,002['  ]| A hundred virtuosos seek 
823:02,003['  ]| And like an oracle apply to 
823:02,004['  ]| T'ask questions and admire and lie to, 
823:02,005['  ]| Who entertained them all of course 
823:02,006['  ]| (As men take wives for better or worse), 
823:02,007['  ]| And passed them all for men of parts, 
823:02,008['  ]| Though some but sceptics in their hearts; 
823:02,009['  ]| For when they're cast into a lump, 
823:02,010['  ]| Their talents equally must jump, 
823:02,011['  ]| As metals mixed, the rich and base, 
823:02,012['  ]| Do both at equal values pass.  
823:02,013['  ]| With these the ordinary debate 
823:02,014['  ]| Was after news and things of state:  
823:02,015['  ]| Which way the dreadful comet went 
823:02,016['  ]| In sixty-four, and what it meant; 
823:02,017['  ]| What nations yet are to bewail 
823:02,018['  ]| The operation of its tail, 
823:02,019['  ]| Or whether France or Holland yet 
823:02,020['  ]| Or Germany be in its debt; 
823:02,021['  ]| What wars and plagues in Christendom 
823:02,022['  ]| Have happened since, and what to come; 
823:02,023['  ]| What kings are dead, how many queens 
823:02,024['  ]| And princesses are poisoned since, 
823:02,025['  ]| And who shall next of all by turn 
823:02,026['  ]| Make courts wear black and tradesmen mourn; 
823:02,027['  ]| What parties next of foot or horse 
823:02,028['  ]| Will rout, or routed be, of course; 
823:02,029['  ]| What German marches and retreats 
823:02,030['  ]| Will furnish the next month's gazettes; 
823:02,031['  ]| What pestilent contagion next, 
823:02,032['  ]| And what part of the world, infects; 
823:02,033['  ]| What dreadful meteor, and where, 
823:02,034['  ]| Shall in the heavens next appear, 
823:02,035['  ]| And when again shall lay embargo 
823:02,036['  ]| Upon the admiral, the good ship \Argo\.  
823:02,037['  ]| Why currents turn in seas of ice 
823:02,038['  ]| Some thrice a day and some but twice, 
823:02,039['  ]| And why the tides at night and noon 
823:02,040['  ]| Court, like Caligula, the moon; 
823:02,041['  ]| What is the natural cause why fish, 
823:02,042['  ]| That always drink, do never piss, 
823:02,043['  ]| Or whether in their home, the deep, 
823:02,044['  ]| By day or night they ever sleep; 
823:02,045['  ]| If grass be green or snow be white 
823:02,046['  ]| But only as they take the light; 
823:02,047['  ]| Whether possessions of the devil 
823:02,048['  ]| Or mere temptations do most evil; 
823:02,049['  ]| What is't that make all fountains still 
823:02,050['  ]| Within the earth to run uphill, 
823:02,051['  ]| But on the outside down again, 
823:02,052['  ]| As if th'attempt had been in vain; 
823:02,053['  ]| Or what's the strange magnetic cause 
823:02,054['  ]| The steel or loadstone's drawn, or draws 
823:02,055['  ]| The star the needle which the stone 
823:02,056['  ]| Has only been but touched upon ~~  
823:02,057['  ]| Whether the North Star's influence 
823:02,058['  ]| With both does hold intelligence 
823:02,059['  ]| (For red-hot iron, held tow'rds the Pole, 
823:02,060['  ]| Turns of itself to 't when 'tis cool), 
823:02,061['  ]| Or whether male and female screws 
823:02,062['  ]| In th'iron and stone th'effect produce; 
823:02,063['  ]| What makes the body of the sun, 
823:02,064['  ]| That such a rapid course does run, 
823:02,065['  ]| To draw no tail behind through th'air 
823:02,066['  ]| As comets do when they appear, 
823:02,067['  ]| Which other planets cannot do, 
823:02,068['  ]| Because they do not burn, but glow; 
823:02,069['  ]| Whether the moon be sea or land 
823:02,070['  ]| Or charcoal or a quenched firebrand, 
823:02,071['  ]| Or if the dark holes that appear 
823:02,072['  ]| Are only pores, not cities, there; 
823:02,073['  ]| Whether the atmosphere turn round, 
823:02,074['  ]| Or keep a just pace with the ground, 
823:02,075['  ]| Or loiter lazily behind 
823:02,076['  ]| And clog the air with gusts of wind; 
823:02,077['  ]| Or whether crescents in the wane 
823:02,078['  ]| (For so an author has it plain) 
823:02,079['  ]| Do burn quite out, or wear away 
823:02,080['  ]| Their snuffs upon the edge of day; 
823:02,081['  ]| Whether the sea increase, or waste, 
823:02,082['  ]| And, if it do, how long 'twill last; 
823:02,083['  ]| Or, if the sun approaches near 
823:02,084['  ]| The earth, how soon it will be there.  
823:02,085['  ]| These were their learned speculations; 
823:02,086['  ]| And all their constant occupations 
823:02,087['  ]| To measure wind, and weigh the air, 
823:02,088['  ]| And turn a circle to a square; 
823:02,089['  ]| To make a powder of the sun, 
823:02,090['  ]| By which all doctors should b'undone; 
823:02,091['  ]| To find the North-west Passage out, 
823:02,092['  ]| Although the farthest way about; 
823:02,093['  ]| If chemists from a rose's ashes 
823:02,094['  ]| Can raise the rose itself in glasses; 
823:02,095['  ]| Whether the line of incidence 
823:02,096['  ]| Rise from the object or the sense; 
823:02,097['  ]| To stew th'elixir in a bath 
823:02,098['  ]| Of hope, credulity, and faith; 
823:02,099['  ]| To explicate by subtle hints 
823:02,100['  ]| The grain of diamonds and flints; 
823:02,101['  ]| And in the braying of an ass 
823:02,102['  ]| Find out the treble and the bass; 
823:02,103['  ]| If mares neigh alto, and a cow 
823:02,104['  ]| A double diapason low.  
823:03,000['  ]| <Satire upon Our Ridiculous> 
823:03,000['  ]| <Imitation of the French> 
823:03,001['  ]| Who would not rather get him gone 
823:03,002['  ]| Beyond th'intolerablest zone, 
823:03,003['  ]| Or steer his passage through those seas 
823:03,004['  ]| That burn in flames or those that freeze, 
823:03,005['  ]| Than see one nation go to school 
823:03,006['  ]| And learn of another, like a fool?  
823:03,007['  ]| To study all its tricks and fashions 
823:03,008['  ]| With epidemic affectations, 
823:03,009['  ]| And dare to wear no mode or dress 
823:03,010['  ]| But what they in their wisdom please, 
823:03,011['  ]| As monkeys are by being taught 
823:03,012['  ]| To put on gloves and stockings caught; 
823:03,013['  ]| Submit to all that they devise, 
823:03,014['  ]| As if it wore their liveries; 
823:03,015['  ]| Make ready and dress th'imagination 
823:03,016['  ]| Not with the clothes, but with the fashion, 
823:03,017['  ]| And change it (to fulfil the curse 
823:03,018['  ]| Of Adam's Fall) for new, though worse:  
823:03,019['  ]| To make their breeches fall or rise 
823:03,020['  ]| From middle legs to middle thighs, 
823:03,021['  ]| The tropics between which the hose 
823:03,022['  ]| Move always as the fashion goes; 
823:03,023['  ]| Sometimes wear hats like pyramids 
823:03,024['  ]| And sometimes flat like pipkin's lids, 
823:03,025['  ]| With broad brims sometimes like umbrellas 
823:03,026['  ]| And sometimes narrow as Punchinello's; 
823:03,027['  ]| In coldest weather go unbraced, 
823:03,028['  ]| And close in hot as if th'were laced; 
823:03,029['  ]| Sometimes with sleeves and bodies wide, 
823:03,030['  ]| And sometimes straiter than a hide; 
823:03,031['  ]| Wear perukes, and with false grey hairs 
823:03,032['  ]| Disguise the true ones and their years 
823:03,033['  ]| That, when they're modish with the young, 
823:03,034['  ]| The old may seem so in the throng.  
823:03,035['  ]| And as some pupils have been known 
823:03,036['  ]| In time to put their tutors down, 
823:03,037['  ]| So ours are often found t'have got 
823:03,038['  ]| More tricks than ever they were taught.  
823:03,039['  ]| With sly intrigues and artifices 
823:03,040['  ]| Usurp their poxes and their vices:  
823:03,041['  ]| With garnitures upon their shoes 
823:03,042['  ]| Make good their claim to gouty toes; 
823:03,043['  ]| By sudden starts and shrugs and groans 
823:03,044['  ]| Pretend to aches in their bones, 
823:03,045['  ]| To scabs and botches, and lay trains 
823:03,046['  ]| To prove their running of the reins; 
823:03,047['  ]| And lest they should seem destitute 
823:03,048['  ]| Of any mange that's in repute, 
823:03,049['  ]| And be behindhand with the mode, 
823:03,050['  ]| Will swear to crystalline and node, 
823:03,051['  ]| And, that they may not lose their right, 
823:03,052['  ]| Make it appear how they came by't.  
823:03,053['  ]| Disdain the country where th'were born, 
823:03,054['  ]| As bastards their own mothers scorn, 
823:03,055['  ]| And that which brought them forth condemn 
823:03,056['  ]| (As it deserves) for bearing them; 
823:03,057['  ]| Admire whate'er they find abroad, 
823:03,058['  ]| But nothing here, though e'er so good; 
823:03,059['  ]| Be natives wheresoe'er they come, 
823:03,060['  ]| And only foreigners at home, 
823:03,061['  ]| To which th'appear so far estranged 
823:03,062['  ]| As if they'd been i'th' cradle changed, 
823:03,063['  ]| Or ~~ from beyond the seas conveyed 
823:03,064['  ]| By witches ~~ not born here but laid, 
823:03,065['  ]| Or by outlandish fathers were 
823:03,066['  ]| Begotten on their mothers here, 
823:03,067['  ]| And therefore justly slight that nation 
823:03,068['  ]| Where they've so mongrel a relation, 
823:03,069['  ]| And seek out other climates where 
823:03,070['  ]| They may degenerate less than here ~~  
823:03,071['  ]| As woodcocks, when their plumes are grown, 
823:03,072['  ]| Borne on the wind's wings and their own, 
823:03,073['  ]| Forsake the countries where they're hatched, 
823:03,074['  ]| And seek out others, to be catched.  
823:03,075['  ]| So they more naturally may please 
823:03,076['  ]| And humour their own geniuses, 
823:03,077['  ]| Apply to all things which they see 
823:03,078['  ]| With their own fancies best agree; 
823:03,079['  ]| No matter how ridiculous, 
823:03,080['  ]| 'Tis all one if it be in use; 
823:03,081['  ]| For nothing can be bad or good 
823:03,082['  ]| But as 'tis in or out of mode, 
823:03,083['  ]| And as the nations are that use it, 
823:03,084['  ]| All ought to practise or refuse it; 
823:03,085['  ]| T'observe their postures, move and stand 
823:03,086['  ]| As they give out the word o'command, 
823:03,087['  ]| To learn the dullest of their whims 
823:03,088['  ]| And how to wear their very limbs, 
823:03,089['  ]| To turn and manage every part 
823:03,090['  ]| Like puppets by their rules of art, 
823:03,091['  ]| To shrug discreetly, act, and tread, 
823:03,092['  ]| And politicly shake the head, 
823:03,093['  ]| Until the ignorant (that guess 
823:03,094['  ]| At all things by th'appearances) 
823:03,095['  ]| To see how art and nature strive 
823:03,096['  ]| Believe them really alive, 
823:03,097['  ]| And that they're very men, not things 
823:03,098['  ]| That move by puppet-work and springs; 
823:03,099['  ]| When truly all their feats have been 
823:03,100['  ]| As well performed by motion-men, 
823:03,101['  ]| And the worst drolls of Punchinellos 
823:03,102['  ]| Were much th'ingeniouser fellows; 
823:03,103['  ]| For when they're perfect in their lesson, 
823:03,104['  ]| Th'hypothesis grows out of season, 
823:03,105['  ]| And, all their labour lost, they're fain 
823:03,106['  ]| To learn new and begin again.  
823:03,107['  ]| To talk eternally and loud, 
823:03,108['  ]| And all together in a crowd, 
823:03,109['  ]| No matter what, for in the noise 
823:03,110['  ]| No man minds what another says; 
823:03,111['  ]| T'assume a confidence beyond 
823:03,112['  ]| Mankind for solid and profound, 
823:03,113['  ]| And still the less and less they know, 
823:03,114['  ]| The greater dose of that allow; 
823:03,115['  ]| Decry all things; for to be wise 
823:03,116['  ]| Is not to know, but to despise, 
823:03,117['  ]| And deep, judicious confidence 
823:03,118['  ]| Has still the odds of wit and sense, 
823:03,119['  ]| And can pretend a title to 
823:03,120['  ]| Far greater things than they can do; 
823:03,121['  ]| T'adorn their English with French scraps, 
823:03,122['  ]| And give their very language claps; 
823:03,123['  ]| To \jernie\ rightly, and renounce 
823:03,124['  ]| I'th' pure and most approved of tones; 
823:03,125['  ]| And while they idly think t'enrich, 
823:03,126['  ]| Adulterate their native speech; 
823:03,127['  ]| For though to smatter ends of Greek 
823:03,128['  ]| Or Latin be the rhetoric 
823:03,129['  ]| Of pedants counted, and vainglorious, 
823:03,130['  ]| To smatter French is meritorious, 
823:03,131['  ]| And to forget their mother tongue, 
823:03,132['  ]| Or purposely to speak it wrong, 
823:03,133['  ]| A hopeful sign of parts, and wit, 
823:03,134['  ]| And that th'improve and benefit ~~  
823:03,135['  ]| As those that have been taught amiss 
823:03,136['  ]| In liberal arts and sciences 
823:03,137['  ]| Must all they'd learnt before in vain 
823:03,138['  ]| Forget quite, and begin again.  
823:04,000['  ]| <To the Happy Memory> 
823:04,000['  ]| <of the most Renowned Duval.> 
823:04,000['  ]| <A pindaric Ode> 
823:04,000['  ]| <I> 
823:04,001['  ]| 'Tis true to compliment the dead 
823:04,002['  ]| Is as impertinent and vain 
823:04,003['  ]| As 'twas of old to call them back again, 
823:04,004['  ]| Or like the Tartars give them wives 
823:04,005['  ]| With settlements for after-lives; 
823:04,006['  ]| For all that can be done or said, 
823:04,007['  ]| Though e'er so noble, great, and good, 
823:04,008['  ]| By them is neither heard nor understood.  
823:04,009['  ]| All our fine sleights and tricks of art 
823:04,010['  ]| First to create and then adore desert, 
823:04,011['  ]| And those romances which we frame 
823:04,012['  ]| To raise ourselves not them a name, 
823:04,013['  ]| In vain are stuffed with ranting flatteries 
823:04,014['  ]| And such as, if they knew, they would despise.  
823:04,015['  ]| For as those times ""the golden age"" we call 
823:04,016['  ]| In which there was no gold in use at all, 
823:04,017['  ]| So we plant glory and renown 
823:04,018['  ]| Where it was ne'er deserved nor known, 
823:04,019['  ]| But to worse purpose many times 
823:04,020['  ]| To flourish o'er nefarious crimes, 
823:04,021['  ]| And cheat the world, that never seems to mind 
823:04,022['  ]| How good or bad men die, but what they leave behind.  
823:04,000['  ]| <II> 
823:04,023['  ]| And yet the brave Duval, whose name 
823:04,024['  ]| Can never be worn out by fame; 
823:04,025['  ]| That lived and died to leave behind 
823:04,026['  ]| A great example to mankind; 
823:04,027['  ]| That fell a public sacrifice, 
823:04,028['  ]| From ruin to preserve those few 
823:04,029['  ]| Who, though born false, may be made true, 
823:04,030['  ]| And teach the world to be more just and wise; 
823:04,031['  ]| Ought not like vulgar ashes rest 
823:04,032['  ]| Unmentioned in his silent chest, 
823:04,033['  ]| Not for his own, but public, interest.  
823:04,034['  ]| He, like a pious man, some years before 
823:04,035['  ]| Th'arrival of his fatal hour, 
823:04,036['  ]| Made every day he had to live 
823:04,037['  ]| To his last minute a preparative; 
823:04,038['  ]| Taught the wild Arabs on the road 
823:04,039['  ]| To act in a more \gentee\ mode, 
823:04,040['  ]| Take prizes more obligingly than those 
823:04,041['  ]| Who never had been bred \filous\, 
823:04,042['  ]| And how to hand in a more graceful fashion 
823:04,043['  ]| Than e'er was known before to the dull English nation.  
823:04,000['  ]| <III> 
823:04,044['  ]| In France, th staple of new modes, 
823:04,045['  ]| Where garbs and miens are current goods, 
823:04,046['  ]| That serves the ruder northern nations 
823:04,047['  ]| With methods of address and treat, 
823:04,048['  ]| Prescribes new garnitures and fashions, 
823:04,049['  ]| And how to drink and how to eat 
823:04,050['  ]| No out-of-fashion wine or meat, 
823:04,051['  ]| To understand cravats and plumes, 
823:04,052['  ]| And the most modish from the old perfumes, 
823:04,053['  ]| To know the age and pedigrees 
823:04,054['  ]| Of points of Flanders or Venice, 
823:04,055['  ]| Cast their nativities, and to a day 
823:04,056['  ]| Foretell how long they'll hold and when decay, 
823:04,057['  ]| T'affect the purest negligences 
823:04,058['  ]| In gestures, gaits, and miens, 
823:04,059['  ]| And speak by repartee-routines 
823:04,060['  ]| Out of the most authentic of romances, 
823:04,061['  ]| And to demonstrate with substantial reason 
823:04,062['  ]| What ribands all the year are in or out of season, 
823:04,000['  ]| <IV> 
823:04,063['  ]| In this great academy of mankind 
823:04,064['  ]| He had his birth and education, 
823:04,065['  ]| Where all men are s'ingeniously inclined 
823:04,066['  ]| They understand by imitation, 
823:04,067['  ]| Improve untaught before they are aware, 
823:04,068['  ]| As if they sucked their breeding from the air 
823:04,069['  ]| That naturally does dispense 
823:04,070['  ]| To all a deep and solid confidence, 
823:04,071['  ]| A virtue of that precious use 
823:04,072['  ]| That he whom bounteous heaven endues 
823:04,073['  ]| But with a moderate share of it 
823:04,074['  ]| Can want no worth, abilities, or wit.  
823:04,075['  ]| In all the deep hermetic arts 
823:04,076['  ]| (For so of late the learned call 
823:04,077['  ]| All tricks, if strange and mystical) 
823:04,078['  ]| He had improved his natural parts, 
823:04,079['  ]| And with his magic rod could sound 
823:04,080['  ]| Where hidden treasure might be found.  
823:04,081['  ]| He, like a lord o'th' manor, seized upon 
823:04,082['  ]| Whatever happened in his way, 
823:04,083['  ]| As lawful weft and stray, 
823:04,084['  ]| And after by the custom kept it as his own.  
823:04,000['  ]| <V> 
823:04,085['  ]| From these first rudiments he grew 
823:04,086['  ]| To nobler feats, and tried his force 
823:04,087['  ]| Upon whole troops of foot and horse, 
823:04,088['  ]| Whom he as bravely did subdue; 
823:04,089['  ]| Declared all caravans that go 
823:04,090['  ]| Upon the king's highway the foe; 
823:04,091['  ]| Made many desperate attacks 
823:04,092['  ]| Upon itinerant brigades 
823:04,093['  ]| Of all professions, ranks, and trades, 
823:04,094['  ]| On carriers' loads and pedlars' packs; 
823:04,095['  ]| Made 'em lay down their arms and yield, 
823:04,096['  ]| And, to the smallest piece, restore 
823:04,097['  ]| All that by cheating they had gained before, 
823:04,098['  ]| And after plundered all the baggage of the field.  
823:04,099['  ]| In every bold affair of war 
823:04,100['  ]| He had the chief command and led them on; 
823:04,101['  ]| For no man is judged fit to have the care 
823:04,102['  ]| Of others' lives until he's made it known 
823:04,103['  ]| How much he does despise and scorn his own.  
823:04,000['  ]| <VI> 
823:04,104['  ]| Whole provinces 'twixt sun and sun 
823:04,105['  ]| Have by his conquering sword been won, 
823:04,106['  ]| And mighty sums of money laid 
823:04,107['  ]| For ransom upon every man, 
823:04,108['  ]| And hostages delivered till 'twas paid.  
823:04,109['  ]| Th'excise and chimney publican, 
823:04,110['  ]| The Jew forestaller and enhancer, 
823:04,111['  ]| To him for all their crimes did answer.  
823:04,112['  ]| He vanquished the most fierce and fell 
823:04,113['  ]| Of all his foes, the constable, 
823:04,114['  ]| And oft had beat his quarters up 
823:04,115['  ]| And routed him and all his troop.  
823:04,116['  ]| He took the dreadful lawyer's fees, 
823:04,117['  ]| That in his own allowed highway 
823:04,118['  ]| Does feats of arms as great as his, 
823:04,119['  ]| And when th'encounter in it wins the day 
823:04,120['  ]| (Safe in his garrison, the court, 
823:04,121['  ]| Where meaner criminals are sentenced for 't).  
823:04,122['  ]| To this stern foe he oft gave quarter, 
823:04,123['  ]| But as the Scotchman did t'a Tartar, 
823:04,124['  ]| That he in time to come 
823:04,125['  ]| Might in return from him receive his fatal doom.  
823:04,000['  ]| <VII> 
823:04,126['  ]| He would have starved this mighty town 
823:04,127['  ]| And brought its haughty spirit down, 
823:04,128['  ]| Have cut it off from all relief, 
823:04,129['  ]| And like a wise and valiant chief 
823:04,130['  ]| Made many a fierce assault 
823:04,131['  ]| Upon all ammunition carts 
823:04,132['  ]| And those that bring up cheese or malt 
823:04,133['  ]| Or bacon from remoter parts.  
823:04,134['  ]| No convoy e'er so strong with food 
823:04,135['  ]| Durst venture on the desperate road.  
823:04,136['  ]| He made th'undaunted waggoner obey, 
823:04,137['  ]| And the fierce higgler contribution pay; 
823:04,138['  ]| The savage butcher and stout drover 
823:04,139['  ]| Durst not to him their feeble troops discover; 
823:04,140['  ]| And if he had but kept the field, 
823:04,141['  ]| In time had made the city yield; 
823:04,142['  ]| For great towns, like the crocodiles, are found 
823:04,143['  ]| I'th' belly aptest to receive a mortal wound.  
823:04,000['  ]| <VIII> 
823:04,144['  ]| But when the fatal hour arrived 
823:04,145['  ]| In which his stars began to frown, 
823:04,146['  ]| And had in close cabals contrived 
823:04,147['  ]| To pull him from his height of glory down, 
823:04,148['  ]| And he, by numerous foes opprest, 
823:04,149['  ]| Was in th'enchanted dungeon cast, 
823:04,150['  ]| Secured with mighty guards, 
823:04,151['  ]| Lest he by force or stratagem 
823:04,152['  ]| Might prove too cunning for their chains and them, 
823:04,153['  ]| And break through all their locks and bolts and wards, 
823:04,154['  ]| Had both his legs by charms committed 
823:04,155['  ]| To one another's charge 
823:04,156['  ]| That neither might be set at large, 
823:04,157['  ]| And all their fury and revenge outwitted, 
823:04,158['  ]| As jewels of high value are 
823:04,159['  ]| Kept under locks with greater care 
823:04,160['  ]| Than those of meaner rates, 
823:04,161['  ]| So he was in stone walls, and chains, and iron grates.  
823:04,000['  ]| <IX> 
823:04,162['  ]| Thither came ladies from all parts 
823:04,163['  ]| To offer up close prisoners their hearts, 
823:04,164['  ]| Which he received as tribute due, 
823:04,165['  ]| And made them yield up love and honour too, 
823:04,166['  ]| But in more brave heroic ways 
823:04,167['  ]| Than e'er were practised yet in plays; 
823:04,168['  ]| For those two spiteful foes, who never meet 
823:04,169['  ]| But full of hot contests and piques 
823:04,170['  ]| About punctilios and mere tricks, 
823:04,171['  ]| Did all their quarrels to his doom submit, 
823:04,172['  ]| And (far more generous and free) 
823:04,173['  ]| In contemplation only of him did agree, 
823:04,174['  ]| Both fully satisfied ~~ the one 
823:04,175['  ]| With those fresh laurels he had won 
823:04,176['  ]| And all the brave renowned feats 
823:04,177['  ]| He had performed in arms, 
823:04,178['  ]| The other with his person and his charms.  
823:04,179['  ]| For just as larks are catched in nets 
823:04,180['  ]| By gazing on a piece of glass, 
823:04,181['  ]| So, while the ladies viewed his brighter eyes 
823:04,182['  ]| And smoother polished face, 
823:04,183['  ]| Their gentle hearts, alas!  were taken by surprise.  
823:04,000['  ]| <X> 
823:04,184['  ]| Never did bold knight, to relieve 
823:04,185['  ]| Distressed dames, such dreadful feats achieve 
823:04,186['  ]| As feeble damsels for his sake 
823:04,187['  ]| Would have been proud to undertake, 
823:04,188['  ]| And, bravely ambitious to redeem 
823:04,189['  ]| The world's loss and their own, 
823:04,190['  ]| Strove who should have the honour to lay down 
823:04,191['  ]| And change a life with him; 
823:04,192['  ]| But finding all their hopes in vain 
823:04,193['  ]| To move his fixed, determined fate, 
823:04,194['  ]| Their life itself began to hate, 
823:04,195['  ]| As if it were an infamy 
823:04,196['  ]| To live when he was doomed to die, 
823:04,197['  ]| Made loud appeals and moans 
823:04,198['  ]| To less hard-hearted grates and stones, 
823:04,199['  ]| Came swelled in sighs and drowned in tears 
823:04,200['  ]| To yield themselves his fellow sufferers, 
823:04,201['  ]| And followed him like prisoners of war 
823:04,202['  ]| Chained to the lofty wheels of his triumphant car.  
823:05,000['  ]| <Repartees between Cat and Puss> 
823:05,000['  ]| <at a Caterwauling> 
823:05,000['  ]| <in the Modern Heroic Way> 
823:05,001['  ]| It was about the middle age of night, 
823:05,002['  ]| When half the earth stood in the other's light, 
823:05,003['  ]| And sleep, death's brother, yet a friend to life, 
823:05,004['  ]| Gave wearied nature a restorative, 
823:05,005['  ]| When Puss, wrapped warm in his own native furs, 
823:05,006['  ]| Dreamt fondly of as soft and warm amours, 
823:05,007['  ]| Of making gallantry in gutter-tiles 
823:05,008['  ]| And sporting on delightful fagot-piles, 
823:05,009['  ]| Of bolting out of bushes in the dark 
823:05,010['  ]| As ladies use at midnight in the Park, 
823:05,011['  ]| Or seeking in tall garrets an alcove 
823:05,012['  ]| For assignations in th'affairs of love.  
823:05,013['  ]| At once his passion was both false and true, 
823:05,014['  ]| And the more false the more in earnest grew.  
823:05,015['  ]| He fancied that he heard those amorous charms 
823:05,016['  ]| That used to summon him to soft alarms, 
823:05,017['  ]| To which he always brought an equal flame 
823:05,018['  ]| To fight a rival or to court a dame; 
823:05,019['  ]| And as in dreams love's raptures are more taking 
823:05,020['  ]| Than all their actual enjoyments waking, 
823:05,021['  ]| His amorous passion grew to that extreme 
823:05,022['  ]| His dream itself awaked him from his dream.  
823:05,023['  ]| Thought he, ""What place is this?  Or whither art 
823:05,024['  ]| Thou vanished from me, mistress of my heart?  
823:05,025['  ]| But now I had her in this very place, 
823:05,026['  ]| Here, fast imprisoned in my glad embrace; 
823:05,027['  ]| And while my joys beyond themselves were rapt, 
823:05,028['  ]| I know not how, nor whither, thou'rt escaped.  
823:05,029['  ]| Stay, and I'll follow thee!"" With that he leapt 
823:05,030['  ]| Up from the lazy couch on which he slept, 
823:05,031['  ]| And, winged with passion, through his known purlieu 
823:05,032['  ]| Swift as an arrow from a bow he flew, 
823:05,033['  ]| Nor stopped until his fire had him conveyed 
823:05,034['  ]| Where many  
823:05,000['  ]| <an>  
823:05,034['  ]| assignation he'd enjoyed, 
823:05,035['  ]| Where finding what he sought, a mutual flame 
823:05,036['  ]| That long had stayed and called before he came.  
823:05,037['  ]| Impatient of delay, without one word, 
823:05,038['  ]| To lose no further time, he fell abroad.  
823:05,039['  ]| But gripped so hard he wounded what he loved, 
823:05,040['  ]| While she in anger thus his heat reproved:  
823:05,041[A  ]| Forbear, foul ravisher, this rude address!  
823:05,042[A  ]| Canst thou at once both injure and caress?  
823:05,043[B  ]| Thou hast bewitched me with thy powerful charms, 
823:05,044[B  ]| And I by drawing blood would cure my harms.  
823:05,045[A  ]| He that does love would set his heart a-tilt 
823:05,046[A  ]| Ere one drop of his lady's should be spilt.  
823:05,047[B  ]| Your wounds are but without, and mine within; 
823:05,048[B  ]| You wound my heart, and I but prick your skin; 
823:05,049[B  ]| And while your eyes pierce deeper than my claws 
823:05,050[B  ]| You blame th'effect of which you are the cause.  
823:05,051[A  ]| How could my guiltless eyes your heart invade, 
823:05,052[A  ]| Had it not first been by your own betrayed?  
823:05,053[A  ]| Hence 'tis my greatest crime has only been 
823:05,054[A  ]| (Not in my eyes, but yours) in being seen.  
823:05,055[B  ]| I hurt to love, but do not love to hurt.  
823:05,056[A  ]| That's worse than making cruelty a sport.  
823:05,057[B  ]| Pain is the foil of pleasure and delight, 
823:05,058[B  ]| That sets it off to a more noble height.  
823:05,059[A  ]| He buys his pleasure at a rate too vain 
823:05,060[A  ]| That takes it up beforehand of his pain.  
823:05,061[B  ]| Pain is more dear than pleasure, when 'tis past.  
823:05,062[A  ]| But grows intolerable if it last.  
823:05,063[B  ]| Love is too full of honour to regard 
823:05,064[B  ]| What it enjoyes, but suffers as reward.  
823:05,065[B  ]| What knight durst ever own a lover's name 
823:05,066[B  ]| That had not been half murdered by his flame?  
823:05,067[B  ]| Or lady that had never lain at stake 
823:05,068[B  ]| To death or force of rivals for his sake?  
823:05,069[A  ]| When love does meet with injury and pain, 
823:05,070[A  ]| Disdain's the only medicine for disdain.  
823:05,071[B  ]| At once I'm happy and unhappy too 
823:05,072[B  ]| In being pleased and in displeasing you.  
823:05,073[A  ]| Preposterous way of pleasure and of love, 
823:05,074[A  ]| That contrary to its own end would move!  
823:05,075[A  ]| 'Tis rather hate, that covets to destroy; 
823:05,076[A  ]| Love's business is to love and to enjoy.  
823:05,077[B  ]| Enjoying and destroying are all one, 
823:05,078[B  ]| As flames destroy that which they feed upon.  
823:05,079[A  ]| He never loved at any generous rate 
823:05,080[A  ]| That in th'enjoyment found his flame abate.  
823:05,081[A  ]| As wine (the friend of love) is wont to make 
823:05,082[A  ]| The thirst move violent it pretends to slake, 
823:05,083[A  ]| So should fruition do the lover's fire:  
823:05,084[A  ]| Instead of lessening, inflame desire.  
823:05,085[B  ]| What greater proof that passion does transport, 
823:05,086[B  ]| When what I would die for I'm forced to hurt?  
823:05,087[A  ]| Death among lovers is a thing despised 
823:05,088[A  ]| And far below a sullen humour prized; 
823:05,089[A  ]| That is more scorned and railed at than the gods, 
823:05,090[A  ]| When they are crossed in love or fall at odds.  
823:05,091[A  ]| But since you understand not what you do, 
823:05,092[A  ]| I am the judge of what I feel, not you.  
823:05,093[B  ]| Passion begins indifferent to prove, 
823:05,094[B  ]| When love considers anything but love.  
823:05,095[A  ]| The darts of love, like lightning, wound within, 
823:05,096[A  ]| And, though they pierce it, never hurt the skin; 
823:05,097[A  ]| They leave no marks behind them where they fly, 
823:05,098[A  ]| Though through the tenderest part of all, the eye; 
823:05,099[A  ]| But your sharp claws have left enough to show 
823:05,100[A  ]| How tender I have been, how cruel you.  
823:05,101[B  ]| Pleasure is pain; for when it is enjoyed 
823:05,102[B  ]| All it could wish for was but to b'allayed.  
823:05,103[A  ]| Force is a rugged way of making love.  
823:05,104[B  ]| What you like best you always disapprove.  
823:05,105[A  ]| He that will wrong his love will not be nice, 
823:05,106[A  ]| T'excuse the wrong he does, to wrong her twice.  
823:05,107[B  ]| Nothing is wrong but that which is ill meant.  
823:05,108[A  ]| Wounds are ill cured with a good intent.  
823:05,109[B  ]| When you mistake that for an injury 
823:05,110[B  ]| I never meant, you do the wrong, not I.  
823:05,111[A  ]| You do not feel yourself the pain you give; 
823:05,112[A  ]| But 'tis not that alone for which I grieve; 
823:05,113[A  ]| But 'tis your want of passion that I blame, 
823:05,114[A  ]| That can be cruel where you own a flame.  
823:05,115[B  ]| 'Tis you are guilty of that cruelty, 
823:05,116[B  ]| Which you at once outdo, and blame in me; 
823:05,117[B  ]| For while you stifle and inflame desire, 
823:05,118[B  ]| You burn and starve me in the selfsame fire.  
823:05,119[A  ]| It is not I, but you, that do the hurt, 
823:05,120[A  ]| Who wound yourself and then accuse me for 't, 
823:05,121[A  ]| As thieves, that rob themselves 'twixt sun and sun, 
823:05,122[A  ]| Make others pay for what themselves have done.  
823:06,000['  ]| <Upon Critics who Judge of> 
823:06,000['  ]| <Modern Plays Precisely by the> 
823:06,000['  ]| <Rules of the Ancients> 
823:06,001['  ]| Who ever will regard poetic fury 
823:06,002['  ]| When it is once found idiot by a jury, 
823:06,003['  ]| And every pert and arbitrary fool 
823:06,004['  ]| Can all poetic licence overrule, 
823:06,005['  ]| Assume a barbarous tyranny to handle 
823:06,006['  ]| The muses worse than Ostrogoth or Vandal, 
823:06,007['  ]| Make 'em submit to verdict and report, 
823:06,008['  ]| And stand, or fall, to th'orders of a court?  
823:06,009['  ]| Much less be sentenced by the arbitrary 
823:06,010['  ]| Proceedings of a witless plagiary 
823:06,011['  ]| That forges old records and ordinances 
823:06,012['  ]| Against the right and property of fancies, 
823:06,013['  ]| More false and nice than weighing of the weather 
823:06,014['  ]| To th'hundredth atom of the lightest feather, 
823:06,015['  ]| Or measuring of air upon Parnassus 
823:06,016['  ]| With cylinders of Torricellian glasses.  
823:06,017['  ]| Reduce all tragedy by rules of art 
823:06,018['  ]| Back to its antique theatre, a cart, 
823:06,019['  ]| And make 'em henceforth keep the beaten roads 
823:06,020['  ]| Of reverend choruses and episodes; 
823:06,021['  ]| Reform and regulate a puppet-play 
823:06,022['  ]| According to the true and ancient way 
823:06,023['  ]| That not an actor shall presume to squeak 
823:06,024['  ]| Unless he have a licence for 't in Greek, 
823:06,025['  ]| Nor Whittington henceforward sell his cat in 
823:06,026['  ]| Plain vulgar English without mewing Latin.  
823:06,027['  ]| No pudding shall be suffered to be witty 
823:06,028['  ]| Unless it be in order to raise pity, 
823:06,029['  ]| Nor devil in the puppet-play b'allowed 
823:06,030['  ]| To roar and spit fire but to fright the crowd 
823:06,031['  ]| Unless some god or devil chance t'have piques 
823:06,032['  ]| Against an ancient family of Greeks.  
823:06,033['  ]| Others may have leave to tremble and take warning 
823:06,034['  ]| How such a fatal progeny they're born in; 
823:06,035['  ]| For none but such for tragedy are fitted 
823:06,036['  ]| That have been ruined only to be pitied, 
823:06,037['  ]| And only those held proper to deter 
823:06,038['  ]| Who've had th'ill luck against their wills to err; 
823:06,039['  ]| Whence only such as are of middling sizes 
823:06,040['  ]| Between morality and venial vices 
823:06,041['  ]| Are qualified to be destroyed by fate 
823:06,042['  ]| For other mortals to take warning at; 
823:06,043['  ]| As if the antique laws of tragedy 
823:06,044['  ]| Did with our own municipal agree, 
823:06,045['  ]| And served like cobwebs but t'ensnare the weak 
823:06,046['  ]| And give diversion to the great to break, 
823:06,047['  ]| To make a less delinquent to be brought 
823:06,048['  ]| To answer for a greater person's fault 
823:06,049['  ]| And suffer all the worst the worst approver 
823:06,050['  ]| Can, to excuse and save himself, discover.  
823:06,051['  ]| No longeer shall dramatics be confined 
823:06,052['  ]| To draw true images of all mankind, 
823:06,053['  ]| To punish in effigy criminals, 
823:06,054['  ]| Reprieve the innocent and hang the false, 
823:06,055['  ]| But a club-law  
823:06,000['  ]| <to>  
823:06,055['  ]| execute and kill 
823:06,056['  ]| For nothing whomsoe'er they please at will 
823:06,057['  ]| To terrify spectators from committing 
823:06,058['  ]| The crimes they did, and suffered for, unwitting.  
823:06,059['  ]| These are the reformations of the stage, 
823:06,060['  ]| Like other reformations of the age, 
823:06,061['  ]| On purpose to destroy all wit and sense 
823:06,062['  ]| As th'other did all law and conscience; 
823:06,063['  ]| No better than the laws of British plays 
823:06,064['  ]| Confirmed in th'ancient good King Howel's days, 
823:06,065['  ]| Who made a general council regulate 
823:06,066['  ]| Men's catching women by the ~~ you know what, 
823:06,067['  ]| And set down in the rubric at what time 
823:06,068['  ]| It should be counted legal, when a crime; 
823:06,069['  ]| Declare when 'twas and when 'twas not a sin, 
823:06,070['  ]| And on what days it went out or came in.  
823:06,071['  ]| An English poet should be tried b'his peers, 
823:06,072['  ]| And not by pedants and philosophers, 
823:06,073['  ]| Incompetent to judge poetic fury, 
823:06,074['  ]| As butchers are forbid to b'of a jury; 
823:06,075['  ]| Beside the most intolerable wrong 
823:06,076['  ]| To try their matter in a foreign tongue 
823:06,077['  ]| By foreign jurymen like Sophocles, 
823:06,078['  ]| Or \tales\ falser than Euripides, 
823:06,079['  ]| When not an English native dares appear 
823:06,080['  ]| To be a witness for the prisoner; 
823:06,081['  ]| When all the laws they use t'arraign and try 
823:06,082['  ]| The innocent and wronged delinquent by 
823:06,083['  ]| Were made b'a foreign lawyer and his pupils 
823:06,084['  ]| To put an end to all poetic scruples, 
823:06,085['  ]| And by th'advice of virtuosi-Tuscans 
823:06,086['  ]| Determined all the doubts of socks and buskins, 
823:06,087['  ]| Gave judgment on all past and future plays, 
823:06,088['  ]| As is as apparent by Speroni's case; 
823:06,089['  ]| Which Lope*de*Vega began to steal, 
823:06,090['  ]| And after him the French \filou\ Corneille.  
823:06,091['  ]| And since our English plagiaries nim 
823:06,092['  ]| And steal their far-fet criticisms from him, 
823:06,093['  ]| And by an action falsely laid of trover 
823:06,094['  ]| The lumber for their proper goods recover, 
823:06,095['  ]| Enough to furnish all the lewd impeachers 
823:06,096['  ]| Of witty Beaumont's poetry and Fletcher's; 
823:06,097['  ]| Who for a few misprisions of wit 
823:06,098['  ]| Are charged by those who ten times worse commit, 
823:06,099['  ]| And for misjudging some unhappy scenes 
823:06,100['  ]| Are censured for 't with more unlucky sense; 
823:06,101['  ]| When all their worst miscarriages delight 
823:06,102['  ]| And please more than the best that pedants write.  
823:07,000['  ]| <A Ballad> 
823:07,001['  ]| Draw near, good people, all draw near, 
823:07,002['  ]| And hearken to my ditty; 
823:07,003['  ]| A stranger thing 
823:07,004['  ]| Than this I sing 
823:07,005['  ]| Came never to this city.  
823:07,006['  ]| Had you but seen this monster, 
823:07,007['  ]| You would not give a farthing 
823:07,008['  ]| For the lions i'th' grate, 
823:07,009['  ]| Nor the mountain cat, 
823:07,010['  ]| Nor the bears in Paris Garden.  
823:07,011['  ]| You would defy all pageants 
823:07,012['  ]| Are borne before the mayor, 
823:07,013['  ]| The strangest shape 
823:07,014['  ]| You e'er did gape 
823:07,015['  ]| Upon in Bartlemew Fair.  
823:07,016['  ]| His face is round and decent 
823:07,017['  ]| As is your dish or platter, 
823:07,018['  ]| On which there grows 
823:07,019['  ]| A thing like a nose, 
823:07,020['  ]| But indeed it is no such matter.  
823:07,021['  ]| On both sides of th'aforesaid 
823:07,022['  ]| Are eyes, but they're not matches, 
823:07,023['  ]| On which there are 
823:07,024['  ]| To be seen two fair 
823:07,025['  ]| And large well-grown moustaches.  
823:07,026['  ]| Now this with admiration 
823:07,027['  ]| Does all beholders strike; 
823:07,028['  ]| That a beard should grow 
823:07,029['  ]| Upon a thing's brow, 
823:07,030['  ]| Did ye ever see the like?  
823:07,031['  ]| He has no skull, 'tis well known 
823:07,032['  ]| To thousands of beholders; 
823:07,033['  ]| Nothing but a skin 
823:07,034['  ]| Does keep his brains in 
823:07,035['  ]| From running about his shoulders.  
823:07,036['  ]| On both sides of his noddle 
823:07,037['  ]| Are straps o'th' very same leather; 
823:07,038['  ]| Ears are implied, 
823:07,039['  ]| But they're mere hide 
823:07,040['  ]| Or morsels of tripe, choose ye whether.  
823:07,041['  ]| Between these two extendeth 
823:07,042['  ]| A slit from ear to ear, 
823:07,043['  ]| That every hour 
823:07,044['  ]| Does gape to devour 
823:07,045['  ]| The souse that grows so near.  
823:07,046['  ]| Beneath a tuft of bristles 
823:07,047['  ]| As rough as a frieze-jerkin; 
823:07,048['  ]| If it had been a beard, 
823:07,049['  ]| 'Twould have served a herd 
823:07,050['  ]| Of goats, that are of his near kin.  
823:07,051['  ]| Within a set of grinders 
823:07,052['  ]| Most sharp and keen, corroding 
823:07,053['  ]| Your iron and brass 
823:07,054['  ]| As easy as 
823:07,055['  ]| They you would do a pudding.  
823:07,056['  ]| But the strangest thing of all is 
823:07,057['  ]| Upon his rump there groweth 
823:07,058['  ]| A great long tail 
823:07,059['  ]| That useth to trail 
823:07,060['  ]| Upon the ground as he goeth.  
823:07,000['  ]| <Part II> 
823:07,061['  ]| This monster was begotten 
823:07,062['  ]| Upon one of your witches 
823:07,063['  ]| B'an imp that came to her 
823:07,064['  ]| Like a man to woo her 
823:07,065['  ]| With black doublet and breeches.  
823:07,066['  ]| When he was whelped, for certain 
823:07,067['  ]| In divers several countries 
823:07,068['  ]| The hogs and swine 
823:07,069['  ]| Did grunt and whine, 
823:07,070['  ]| And the ravens croaked upon trees.  
823:07,071['  ]| The winds did blow, the thunder 
823:07,072['  ]| And lightning loudly rumbled, 
823:07,073['  ]| The dogs did howl, 
823:07,074['  ]| Th'hollow tree in the owl ~~  
823:07,075['  ]| 'Tis a good horse that ne'er stumbled.  
823:07,076['  ]| As soon as he was brought forth, 
823:07,077['  ]| At th'midwife's throat he flew, 
823:07,078['  ]| And threw the pap 
823:07,079['  ]| Down in her lap, 
823:07,080['  ]| They say 'tis very true.  
823:07,081['  ]| And up the walls he clambered 
823:07,082['  ]| With nails most sharp and keen, 
823:07,083['  ]| The prints whereof 
823:07,084['  ]| I'th' boards of the roof 
823:07,085['  ]| Are yet to be seen.  
823:07,086['  ]| And out at the top o'th' chimney 
823:07,087['  ]| He vanished, seen of none; 
823:07,088['  ]| For they did wink, 
823:07,089['  ]| Yet by the stink 
823:07,090['  ]| Knew which way he was gone.  
823:07,091['  ]| The country round about there 
823:07,092['  ]| Became like a wilderness; 
823:07,093['  ]| For the sight 
823:07,094['  ]| Of him did fright 
823:07,095['  ]| Away men, women and children.  
823:07,096['  ]| Long did he there continue, 
823:07,097['  ]| And all those parts much harmed, 
823:07,098['  ]| Till a wise woman, which 
823:07,099['  ]| Some call a white witch, 
823:07,100['  ]| Him into a hogsty charmed.  
823:07,101['  ]| There when she had him shut fast, 
823:07,102['  ]| With brimstone and with nitre 
823:07,103['  ]| She singed the claws 
823:07,104['  ]| Of his left paws, 
823:07,105['  ]| With the tip of his tail and his right ear.  
823:07,106['  ]| And with her charms and ointments 
823:07,107['  ]| She made him tame as a spaniel; 
823:07,108['  ]| For she used to ride 
823:07,109['  ]| On his back astride, 
823:07,110['  ]| Nor did he do her any ill.  
823:07,111['  ]| But to the admiration 
823:07,112['  ]| Of all, both far and near, 
823:07,113['  ]| He hath been shown 
823:07,114['  ]| In every town 
823:07,115['  ]| And eke in every shire.  
823:07,116['  ]| And now at length he's brought 
823:07,117['  ]| Unto fair London city, 
823:07,118['  ]| Where in Fleet Street 
823:07,119['  ]| All those may see't, 
823:07,120['  ]| That will not believe my ditty.  
823:07,121['  ]| God save the King and Parliament 
823:07,122['  ]| And eke the Prince's Highness, 
823:07,123['  ]| And quickly send  
823:07,124['  ]| The wars an end, 
823:07,125['  ]| As here my song has 
823:07,000['  ]| <Finis.>