001:01,000@@@@@| 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,001[A ]| Sure there's some wondrous joy in doing good; 001:01,002[A ]| Immortal joy, that suffers no allay from fears, 001:01,003[A ]| Nor dreads the tyranny of years, 001:01,004[A ]| By none but its possessors to be understood: 001:01,005[A ]| Else where's the gain in being great? 001:01,006[A ]| Kings would indeed be victims of the state; 001:01,007[A ]| What can the poet's humble praise? 001:01,008[A ]| What can the poet's humble bays? 001:01,009[A ]| (We poets oft our bays allow, 001:01,010[A ]| Translated to the hero's brow) 001:01,011[A ]| Add to the victor's happiness? 001:01,012[A ]| What do the sceptre, crown and ball, 001:01,013[A ]| Rattles for infant royalty to play withal, 001:01,014[A ]| But serve t' adorn the baby dress 001:01,015[A ]| Of one poor coronation day, 001:01,016[A ]| To make the pageant gay: 001:01,017[A ]| A three hours' scene of empty pride, 001:01,018[A ]| And then the toys are thrown aside. 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,019[A ]| But the delight of doing good 001:01,020[A ]| Is fixed like fate among the stars, 001:01,021[A ]| And deified in verse; 001:01,022[A ]| 'Tis the best gem in royalty, 001:01,023[A ]| The great distinguisher of blood, 001:01,024[A ]| Parent of Valour and of fame, 001:01,025[A ]| Which makes a godhead of a name, 001:01,026[A ]| And is contemporary to eternity. 001:01,027[A ]| This made the ancient Romans to afford 001:01,028[A ]| To \Valour\ and to \virtue\ the same word: 001:01,029[A ]| To show the paths of both must be together trod, 001:01,030[A ]| Before the hero can commence a god. 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,031[A ]| These are the ways 001:01,032[A ]| By which our happy prince carves out his bays; 001:01,033[A ]| Thus he has fixed his name 001:01,034[A ]| First, in the mighty list of Fame, 001:01,035[A ]| And thus he did the airy goddess court, 001:01,036[A ]| He sought her out in fight, 001:01,037[A ]| And like a bold romantic knight 001:01,038[A ]| Rescued her from the giant's fort: 001:01,039[A ]| The tyrant Death lay crouching down, 001:01,040[A ]| Waiting for orders at his feet, 001:01,041[A ]| Spoiled of hs leaden crown; 001:01,042[A ]| He trampled on this haughty Bajazet, 001:01,043[A ]| Made him his footstool in the war, 001:01,044[A ]| And a grim slave to wait on his triumphal car. 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,045[A ]| And now I in the spirit see 001:01,046[A ]| (The spirit of exalted poetry) 001:01,047[A ]| I see the fatal fight begin; 001:01,048[A ]| And, lo! where a destroying angel stands, 001:01,049[A ]| (By all but heaven and me unseen,) 001:01,050[A ]| With lightning in his eyes, and thunder in his hands; 001:01,051@b | ""In vain"", 001:01,051[A ]| said he, 001:01,051@b | ""doest utmost Thule boast 001:01,052@b | No poisonous beast will in her breed, 001:01,053@b | Or no infectious weed, 001:01,054@b | When she sends forth such a malignant birth, 001:01,055@b | When man himself's the vermin of her earth; 001:01,056@b | When Treason there in person seems to stand, 001:01,057@b | And Rebel is the growth and manufacture of the land."" 001:01,058[A ]| He spake, and a dark cloud flung o'er his light, 001:01,059[A ]| And hid him from poetic sight, 001:01,060[A ]| And (I believe) began himself the fight, 001:01,061[A ]| For straight I saw the field maintained, 001:01,062[A ]| And what I used to laugh at in romance, 001:01,063[A ]| And thought too great even for the effects of chance, 001:01,064[A ]| The battle almost by great William's single valour gained; 001:01,065[A ]| The angel (doubtless) kept the eternal gate, 001:01,066[A ]| And stood twixt him and every fate; 001:01,067[A ]| And all those flying deaths that aimed him from the field, 001:01,068[A ]| (The impartial deaths which come 001:01,069[A ]| Like love, wrapped up in fire; 001:01,070[A ]| And like that too, make every breast their home) 001:01,071[A ]| Broke on his everlasting shield. 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,072[A ]| The giddy British populace, 001:01,073[A ]| That tyrant guard on Peace, 001:01,074[A ]| Who watch her like a prey, 001:01,075[A ]| And keep her for a sacrifice, 001:01,076[A ]| And must be sung, like Argus, into ease 001:01,077[A ]| Before this milk-white heifer can be stole away, 001:01,078[A ]| Our prince has charmed its many hundred eyes; 001:01,079[A ]| Has lulled the monster in a deep 001:01,080[A ]| And (I hope) an eternal sleep, 001:01,081[A ]| And has at last redeemed the mighty prize. 001:01,082[A ]| The Scots themselves, that discontented brood, 001:01,083[A ]| Who always loudest for religion brawl, 001:01,084[A ]| (As those do still wh'have none at all) 001:01,085[A ]| Who claim so many titles to be Jews, 001:01,086[A ]| (But surely such whom God did never for his people choose) 001:01,087[A ]| Still murmuring in their wilderness for food, 001:01,088[A ]| Who pine us like a chronical disease; 001:01,089[A ]| And one would think 'twere past omnipotence to please; 001:01,090[A ]| Your presence all their native stubborness controls, 001:01,091[A ]| And for a while unbends their contradicting souls: 001:01,092[A ]| As an old fabulous hell, 001:01,093[A ]| When some patrician god would visit the immortal gaol, 001:01,094[A ]| The very brightness of his face 001:01,095[A ]| Suspended every horror of the place, 001:01,096[A ]| The giants under Etna ceased to groan, 001:01,097[A ]| And Sisyphus lay sleeping on his stone. 001:01,098[A ]| Thus has our prince completed every victory, 001:01,099[A ]| And glad Ie+rne now may see 001:01,100[A ]| Her sister isles are conquered too as well as she. 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,101[A ]| How vainly (sir) did your fond enemy try 001:01,102[A ]| Upon a rubbish heap of broken laws 001:01,103[A ]| To climb at victory 001:01,104[A ]| Without the footing of a cause; 001:01,105[A ]| His laurel now must only be a cypress wreath, 001:01,106[A ]| And his best victory a noble death; 001:01,107[A ]| His scrap of life is but a heap of miseries, 001:01,108[A ]| The remnant of a falling snuff, 001:01,109[A ]| Which hardly wants another puff, 001:01,110[A ]| And needs must \stink\ whene'er it dies; 001:01,111[A ]| Whilst at your victorious light 001:01,112[A ]| All lesser ones expire, 001:01,113[A ]| Consume, and perish from our sight, 001:01,114[A ]| Just as the sun puts out a fire; 001:01,115[A ]| And every foolish fly that dares to aim 001:01,116[A ]| To buzz about the mighty flame; 001:01,117[A ]| The wretched insects singe their wings, and fall, 001:01,118[A ]| And humbly at the bottom crawl. 001:01,000[' ]| 001:01,119[A ]| That restless tyrant, who of late 001:01,120[A ]| Is grown so impudently great, 001:01,121[A ]| That tennis-ball of fate; 001:01,122[A ]| This gilded meteor which flies 001:01,123[A ]| As if it meant to touch the skies; 001:01,124[A ]| For all its boasted height, 001:01,125[A ]| For all its plagiary light, 001:01,126[A ]| Took its first growth and birth 001:01,127[A ]| From the worst excrements of earth; 001:01,128[A ]| Stay but a little while and down again 'twill come, 001:01,129[A ]| And end as it began, in vapour, stink, and scum. 001:01,130[A ]| Or has he like some fearful star appeared? 001:01,131[A ]| Long dreaded for his bloody tail and fiery beard, 001:01,132[A ]| Transcending nature's ordinary laws, 001:01,133[A ]| Sent by just heaven to threaten earth 001:01,134[A ]| With war, and pestilence, and dearth, 001:01,135[A ]| Of which it is at once the prophet and the cause. 001:01,136[A ]| Howe'er it be, the pride of France 001:01,137[A ]| Has finished its short race of chance, 001:01,138[A ]| And all her boasted influences are 001:01,139[A ]| Wrapped in the vortex of the British star; 001:01,140[A ]| Her tyrant too an unexpected wound shall feel 001:01,141[A ]| In the last wretched remnant of his days; 001:01,142[A ]| Our prince has hit him, like Achilles, in the heel, 001:01,143[A ]| The poisonous darts has made him reel, 001:01,144[A ]| Giddy he grows, and down is hurled, 001:01,145[A ]| And as a mortal to his vile disease, 001:01,146[A ]| Falls sick in the posteriors of the world. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,001[A ]| As when the deluge first began to fall, 001:02,002[A ]| That mighty ebb never to flow again, 001:02,003[A ]| (When this huge body's moisture was so great 001:02,004[A ]| It quite o'ercame the vital heat,) 001:02,005[A ]| That mountain which was highest first of all 001:02,006[A ]| Appeared, above the universal main, 001:02,007[A ]| To bless the primitive sailor's weary sight, 001:02,008[A ]| And 'twas perhaps Parnassus, if in height 001:02,009[A ]| It be as great as 'tis in fame, 001:02,010[A ]| And nigh to heaven as is its name. 001:02,011[A ]| So after the inundation of a war 001:02,012[A ]| When Learning's little household did embark 001:02,013[A ]| With her world's fruitful system in her sacred ark, 001:02,014[A ]| At the first ebb of noise and fears, 001:02,015[A ]| Philosophy's exalted head appears; 001:02,016[A ]| And the dove-muse, will now no longer stay 001:02,017[A ]| But plumes her silver wings and flies away, 001:02,018[A ]| And now a laurel wreath she brings from far, 001:02,019[A ]| To crown the happy conqueror, 001:02,020[A ]| To show the flood begins to ease, 001:02,021[A ]| And brings the dear reward of victory and peace. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,022[A ]| The eager muse took wing upon the waves' decline, 001:02,023[A ]| When war her cloudy aspect just withdrew, 001:02,024[A ]| When the bright sun of peace began to shine, 001:02,025[A ]| And for a while in heavenly contemplation sat 001:02,026[A ]| On the high top of peaceful Ararat; 001:02,027[A ]| And plucked a laurel branch (for laurel was the first that grew, 001:02,028[A ]| The first of plants after the thunder, storm and rain) 001:02,029[A ]| And thence with joyful, nimble wing 001:02,030[A ]| Flew dutifully back again, 001:02,031[A ]| And made an humble chaplet for the King. 001:02,032[A ]| And the dove-muse is fled once more, 001:02,033[A ]| (Glad of the victory, yet frighted at the war) 001:02,034[A ]| And now discovers from afar 001:02,035[A ]| A peaceful and a flourishing shore: 001:02,036[A ]| No sooner does she land 001:02,037[A ]| On the delightful strand, 001:02,038[A ]| When straight she sees the country all around, 001:02,039[A ]| Where fatal Neptune ruled e'rewhile, 001:02,040[A ]| Scattered with flowery vales, with fruitful gardens crowned, 001:02,041[A ]| And many a pleasant wood, 001:02,042[A ]| As if the universal Nile 001:02,043[A ]| Had rather watered it, than drowned: 001:02,044[A ]| It seems some floating piece of paradise, 001:02,045[A ]| Preserved by wonder from the flood, 001:02,046[A ]| Long wandering through the deep, as we are told 001:02,047[A ]| Famed Delos did of old, 001:02,048[A ]| And the transported muse imagined it 001:02,049[A ]| To be a fitter birthplace for the god of wit; 001:02,050[A ]| Or the much-talked oracular grove 001:02,051[A ]| When with amazing joy she hears, 001:02,052[A ]| An unknown music all around, 001:02,053[A ]| Charming her greedy ears 001:02,054[A ]| With many a heavenly song 001:02,055[A ]| Of nature and art, of deep philosophy and love, 001:02,056[A ]| Whilst angels tune the voice, and god inspires the tongue. 001:02,057[A ]| In vain she catches at the empty sound, 001:02,058[A ]| In vain pursues the music with her longing eye, 001:02,059[A ]| And courts the wandering echoes as they fly. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,060[A ]| Pardon \Ye great unknown\, and far-exalted men, 001:02,061[A ]| The wild excursions of a youthful pen; 001:02,062[A ]| Forgive a young and (almost) virgin-muse, 001:02,063[A ]| Whom blind and eager curiosity 001:02,064[A ]| (Yet curiosity, they say, 001:02,065[A ]| Is in her sex a crime needs no excuse) 001:02,066[A ]| Has forced to grope her uncouth way 001:02,067[A ]| After a mighty light that leads her wandering eye; 001:02,068[A ]| No wonder then she quits the narrow path of sense 001:02,069[A ]| For a dear ramble through impertinence, 001:02,070[A ]| Impertinence, the scurvy of mankind, 001:02,071[A ]| And all we fools, who are the greater part of it, 001:02,072[A ]| Though we be of two different factions still, 001:02,073[A ]| Both the good-natured and the ill, 001:02,074[A ]| Yet wheresoe'er you look you'll always find 001:02,075[A ]| We join like flies, and wasps, in buzzing about wit. 001:02,076[A ]| In me, who am of the first sect of these, 001:02,077[A ]| All merit that transcends the humble rules 001:02,078[A ]| Of my own dazzled, scanty sense 001:02,079[A ]| Begets a kinder folly and impertinence 001:02,080[A ]| Of admiration and of praise: 001:02,081[A ]| And our good brethren of the surly sect 001:02,082[A ]| Must e'en all herd with us their kindred fools, 001:02,083[A ]| For though possessed of present vogue, they've made 001:02,084[A ]| Railing a rule of wit, and obloquy a trade, 001:02,085[A ]| Yet the same want of brains produces each effect; 001:02,086[A ]| And you whom Pluto's helm does wisely shroud 001:02,087[A ]| From us the blind and thoughtless crowd, 001:02,088[A ]| Like the famed hero in his mother's cloud, 001:02,089[A ]| Who both our follies and impertinences see, 001:02,090[A ]| Do laugh perhaps at theirs, and pity mine and me. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,091[A ]| But censure's to be understood 001:02,092[A ]| The authentic mark of the elect, 001:02,093[A ]| The public stamp heaven sets on all that's great and good, 001:02,094[A ]| Our shallow search and judgement to direct. 001:02,095[A ]| The war methinks has made 001:02,096[A ]| Our wit and learning, narrow as our trade; 001:02,097[A ]| Instead of boldly sailing far to buy 001:02,098[A ]| A stock of wisdom and philosophy, 001:02,099[A ]| We fondly stay at home in fear 001:02,100[A ]| Of every censuring privateer, 001:02,101[A ]| Forcing a wretched trade by beating down the sale, 001:02,102[A ]| And selling basely by retail, 001:02,103[A ]| The wits, I mean the atheists of the age, 001:02,104[A ]| Who fain would rule the pulpit, as they do the stage, 001:02,105[A ]| Wondrous reformers of philosophy, 001:02,106[A ]| Of morals and divinity, 001:02,107[A ]| By the new modish system of reducing all to sense, 001:02,108[A ]| Against all logic and concluding laws, 001:02,109[A ]| Do own the effects of Providence, 001:02,110[A ]| And yet deny the cause. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,111[A ]| This hopeful sect, now it begins to see 001:02,112[A ]| How little, very little do prevail 001:02,113[A ]| Their first and chiefest force 001:02,114[A ]| To censure, to cry down, and rail, 001:02,115[A ]| Not knowing what, or where, or who, you be, 001:02,116[A ]| Will quickly take another course 001:02,117[A ]| And by their never-failing ways 001:02,118[A ]| Of solving all appearances they please, 001:02,119[A ]| We soon shall see them to their ancient methods fall, 001:02,120[A ]| And straight deny you to be men, or anything at all; 001:02,121[A ]| I laugh at the grave answer they will make, 001:02,122[A ]| Which they have always ready, general and cheap; 001:02,123[A ]| 'Tis but to say, that what we daily meet, 001:02,124[A ]| And by a fond mistake 001:02,125[A ]| Perhaps imagine to be wondrous wit 001:02,126[A ]| And think, alas, to be by mortals writ, 001:02,127[A ]| Is but a crowd of atoms jostling in a heap, 001:02,128[A ]| Which from eternal seeds begun, 001:02,129[A ]| Jostling some thousand years till ripened by the sun, 001:02,130[A ]| They're now, just now, as naturally born, 001:02,131[A ]| As from the womb of earth a field of corn. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,132[A ]| But as for poor contented me, 001:02,133[A ]| Who must my weakness and my ignorance confess, 001:02,134[A ]| That I believe in much, I ne'er can hope to see; 001:02,135[A ]| Methinks I'm satisfied to guess 001:02,136[A ]| That this new, noble, and delightful scene 001:02,137[A ]| Is wonderfully moved by some exalted men, 001:02,138[A ]| Who have well studied in the world's disease, 001:02,139[A ]| (That epidemic error and depravity 001:02,140[A ]| Or in our judgement or our eye) 001:02,141[A ]| That what \surprises\ us can only please: 001:02,142[A ]| We often search contentedly the whole world round, 001:02,143[A ]| To make some great discovery, 001:02,144[A ]| And scorn it when 'tis found. 001:02,145[A ]| Just so the mighty Nile has suffered in its fame, 001:02,146[A ]| Because 'tis said, (and perhaps only said) 001:02,147[A ]| We've found a little inconsiderable head 001:02,148[A ]| That feeds the huge unequal stream. 001:02,149[A ]| Consider human folly, and you'll quickly own, 001:02,150[A ]| That all the praises it can give, 001:02,151[A ]| By which some fondly boast they shall for ever live 001:02,152[A ]| Won't pay the impertinence of being known; 001:02,153[A ]| Else why should the famed Lydian king, 001:02,154[A ]| Whom all the charms of an usurped wife and state, 001:02,155[A ]| With all that power unfelt, courts mankind to be great, 001:02,156[A ]| Did with new, unexperienced glories wait, 001:02,157[A ]| Still wear, still doat on his invisible ring. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,158[A ]| Were I to form a regular thought of fame, 001:02,159[A ]| Which is perhaps as hard t'imagine right 001:02,160[A ]| As to paint Echo to the sight: 001:02,161[A ]| I would not draw the idea from an empty name; 001:02,162[A ]| Because, alas when we all die 001:02,163[A ]| Careless and ignorant posterity, 001:02,164[A ]| Although they praise the learning and the wit, 001:02,165[A ]| And though the title seems to show 001:02,166[A ]| The name and man, by whom the book was writ, 001:02,167[A ]| Yet how shall they be brought to know 001:02,168[A ]| Whether that very name was he, or you, or I? 001:02,169[A ]| Less should I daub it o'er with transitory praise, 001:02,170[A ]| And water-colours of these days, 001:02,171[A ]| These days! where even the extravagance of poetry 001:02,172[A ]| Is at a loss for figures to express 001:02,173[A ]| Men's folly, whimsies, and inconstancy, 001:02,174[A ]| And by a faint description makes them less. 001:02,175[A ]| Then tell us what is fame? where shall we search for it? 001:02,176[A ]| Look where exalted virtue and religion sit 001:02,177[A ]| Enthroned with heavenly wit, 001:02,178[A ]| Look where you see 001:02,179[A ]| The greatest scorn of learned vanity, 001:02,180[A ]| (And then how much a nothing is mankind! 001:02,181[A ]| Whose reason is weighed down by popular air, 001:02,182[A ]| Who by that, vainly talks of baffling death, 001:02,183[A ]| And hopes to lengthen life by a transfusion of breath, 001:02,184[A ]| Which yet whoe'er examines right will find 001:02,185[A ]| To be an art as vain, as bottling up of wind:) 001:02,186[A ]| And when you find out these, believe true fame is there. 001:02,187[A ]| Far above all reward, yet to which all is due, 001:02,188[A ]| And this \ye great unknown\, is only known in you. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,189[A ]| The juggling sea-god when by chance trepanned 001:02,190[A ]| By some instructed querist sleeping on the sand, 001:02,191[A ]| Impatient of all answers, straight became 001:02,192[A ]| A stealing brook, and strove to creep away 001:02,193[A ]| Into his native sea, 001:02,194[A ]| Vexed at their follies, murmured in his stream; 001:02,195[A ]| But disappointed of his fond desire 001:02,196[A ]| Would vanish in a pyramid of fire. 001:02,197[A ]| This surly, slippery god, when he designed 001:02,198[A ]| To furnish his escapes, 001:02,199[A ]| Ne'er borrowed more variety of shapes 001:02,200[A ]| Than you to please and satisfy mankind, 001:02,201[A ]| And seem (almost) transformed to water, flame, and air, 001:02,202[A ]| So well you answer all phenomenas there; 001:02,203[A ]| Though madmen and the wits, philosophers and fools, 001:02,204[A ]| With all that factious or enthusiastic dotards dream, 001:02,205[A ]| And all the incoherent jargon of the schools, 001:02,206[A ]| Though all the fumes of fear, hope, love, and shame, 001:02,207[A ]| Contrive to shock your minds, with many a senseless doubt, 001:02,208[A ]| Doubts, where the Delphic god would grope in ignorance and night, 001:02,209[A ]| The god of learning and of light 001:02,210[A ]| Would want a god himself to help him out. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,211[A ]| Philosophy, as it before us lies, 001:02,212[A ]| Seems to have borrowed some ungrateful taste 001:02,213[A ]| Of doubts, impertinence, and niceties, 001:02,214[A ]| From every age through which it passed, 001:02,215[A ]| But always with a stronger relish of the last. 001:02,216[A ]| This beauteous queen by heaven designed 001:02,217[A ]| To be the great original 001:02,218[A ]| For man to dress and polish his uncourtly mind, 001:02,219[A ]| In what mock-habits have they put her, since the Fall! 001:02,220[A ]| More oft in fools' and madmen's hands than sages' 001:02,221[A ]| She seems a medley of all ages, 001:02,222[A ]| With a huge fardingale to swell her fustian stuff, 001:02,223[A ]| A new commode, a topknot, and a ruff, 001:02,224[A ]| Her face patched o'er with modern pedantry, 001:02,225[A ]| With a long sweeping train 001:02,226[A ]| Of comments and disputes, ridiculous and vain, 001:02,227[A ]| All of old cut with a new dye, 001:02,228[A ]| How soon have you restored her charms! 001:02,229[A ]| And rid her of her lumber and her books, 001:02,230[A ]| Dressed her again genteel and neat, 001:02,231[A ]| And rather right than great, 001:02,232[A ]| How fond we are to court her to our arms! 001:02,233[A ]| How much of heaven is in her naked looks. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,234[A ]| Thus the deluding muse oft blinds me to her ways, 001:02,235[A ]| And even my very thoughts transfers 001:02,236[A ]| And changes all to beauty, and the praise 001:02,237[A ]| Of that proud tyrant sex of hers. 001:02,238[A ]| The rebel muse, alas, takes part 001:02,239[A ]| But with my own rebellious heart, 001:02,240[A ]| And you with fatal and immortal wit conspire 001:02,241[A ]| To fan the unhappy fire: 001:02,242[A ]| \Cruel unknown!\ what is it you intend! 001:02,243[A ]| Ah, could you! could you hope a poet for your friend! 001:02,244[A ]| Rather forgive what my first transport said, 001:02,245[A ]| May all the blood, which shall by woman's scorn be shed 001:02,246[A ]| Lie on you, and on your children's head, 001:02,247[A ]| For you (ah, did I think I e'er should live to see 001:02,248[A ]| The fatal time when that could be) 001:02,249[A ]| Have even increased their pride and cruelty. 001:02,250[A ]| Woman seems now above all vanity grown, 001:02,251[A ]| Still boasting of her great unknown; 001:02,252[A ]| Platonic champions, gained without one female wile, 001:02,253[A ]| Or the vast \charges of a smile\; 001:02,254[A ]| Which 'tis a shame to see how much of late 001:02,255[A ]| You've taught the covetous wretches to o'errate, 001:02,256[A ]| And which they've now the conscience to weigh 001:02,257[A ]| In the same balance with our tears, 001:02,258[A ]| And with such scanty wages pay 001:02,259[A ]| The bondage and the slavery of years. 001:02,260[A ]| Let the vain sex dream on, their empire comes from us, 001:02,261[A ]| And had they common generosity 001:02,262[A ]| They would not use us thus. 001:02,263[A ]| Well ~~ though you've raised her to this high degree, 001:02,264[A ]| Ourselves are raised as well as she, 001:02,265[A ]| And spite of all that they or you can do, 001:02,266[A ]| 'Tis pride and happiness enough to me 001:02,267[A ]| Still to be of the same exalted sex with you. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,268[A ]| Alas, how fleeting, and how vain, 001:02,269[A ]| Is even the nobler man, our learning and our wit, 001:02,270[A ]| I sigh whene'er I think of it 001:02,271[A ]| As at the closing an unhappy scene 001:02,272[A ]| Of some great king and conqueror's death, 001:02,273[A ]| When the sad, melancholy muse 001:02,274[A ]| Strays but to catch his utmost breath, 001:02,275[A ]| I grieve, this noble work so happily begun, 001:02,276[A ]| So quickly, and so wonderfully carried on, 001:02,277[A ]| Must fall at last to interest, folly, and abuse. 001:02,278[A ]| There is a noontide in our lives 001:02,279[A ]| Which still the sooner it arrives, 001:02,280[A ]| Although we boast our winter sun looks bright, 001:02,281[A ]| And foolishly are glad to see it at its height 001:02,282[A ]| Yet so much sooner comes the long and gloomy night. 001:02,283[A ]| No conquest ever yet begun 001:02,284[A ]| And by one mighty hero carried to its height 001:02,285[A ]| E'er flourished under a successor or a son; 001:02,286[A ]| It lost some mighty pieces through all hands it passed 001:02,287[A ]| And vanished to an empty title in the last. 001:02,288[A ]| For when the animating mind is fled, 001:02,289[A ]| (Which nature never can retain, 001:02,290[A ]| Nor e'er call back again) 001:02,291[A ]| The body, though gigantic, lies all cold and dead. 001:02,000[' ]| 001:02,292[A ]| And thus undoubtedly 'twill fare, 001:02,293[A ]| With what unhappy men shall dare, 001:02,294[A ]| To be successors to these great unknown, 001:02,295[A ]| On Learning's high-established throne. 001:02,296[A ]| Censure, and Pedantry, and Pride, 001:02,297[A ]| Numberless nations, stretching far and wide, 001:02,298[A ]| Shall (I foresee it) soon with Gothic swarms come forth 001:02,299[A ]| From Ignorance's universal north, 001:02,300[A ]| And with blind rage break all this peaceful government; 001:02,301[A ]| Yet shall these traces of your wit remain 001:02,302[A ]| Like a just map to tell the vast extent 001:02,303[A ]| Of conquest in your short and happy reign; 001:02,304[A ]| And to all future mankind show 001:02,305[A ]| How strange a paradox is true, 001:02,306[A ]| That men, who lived and died without a name, 001:02,307[A ]| Are the chief heroes in the sacred list of fame. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,001[A ]| Virtue, the greatest of all monarchies, 001:03,002[A ]| Till its first emperor rebellious man 001:03,003[A ]| Deposed from off his seat 001:03,004[A ]| It fell, and broke with its own weight 001:03,005[A ]| Into small states and principalities, 001:03,006[A ]| By many a petty lord possessed, 001:03,007[A ]| But ne'er since seated in one single breast. 001:03,008[A ]| 'Tis you who must this land subdue, 001:03,009[A ]| The mighty conquest's left for you, 001:03,010[A ]| The conquest and discovery too: 001:03,011[A ]| Search out this Utopian ground, 001:03,012[A ]| Virtue's \7Terra 7incognita\, 001:03,013[A ]| Where none ever led the way, 001:03,014[A ]| Nor ever since but in descriptions found, 001:03,015[A ]| Like the philosopher's stone, 001:03,016[A ]| With rules to search it, yet obtained by none. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,017[A ]| We have too long been led astray, 001:03,018[A ]| Too long have our misguided souls been taught 001:03,019[A ]| With rules from musty morals brought, 001:03,020[A ]| 'Tis you must put us in the way; 001:03,021[A ]| Let us (for shame) no more be fed 001:03,022[A ]| With antique relics of the dead, 001:03,023[A ]| The gleanings of philosophy, 001:03,024[A ]| Philosophy! the lumber of the schools, 001:03,025[A ]| The roguery of alchemy, 001:03,026[A ]| And we bubbled fools 001:03,027[A ]| Spend all our present stock in hopes of golden rules. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,028[A ]| But what does our proud ignorance learning call, 001:03,029[A ]| We oddly Plato's paradox make good, 001:03,030[A ]| Our knowledge is but mere remembrance all, 001:03,031[A ]| Remembrance is our treasure and our food; 001:03,032[A ]| Nature's fair table-book our tender souls 001:03,033[A ]| We scrawl all o'er with old and empty rules, 001:03,034[A ]| Stale memorandums of the schools; 001:03,035[A ]| For learning's mighty treasures look 001:03,036[A ]| In that deep grave a book, 001:03,037[A ]| Think she there does all her treasures hide, 001:03,038[A ]| And that her troubled ghost still haunts there since she died; 001:03,039[A ]| Confine her walks to colleges and schools, 001:03,040[A ]| Her priests, her train and followers show 001:03,041[A ]| As if they all were spectres too, 001:03,042[A ]| They purchase knowledge at the expense 001:03,043[A ]| Of common breeding, common sense, 001:03,044[A ]| And at once grow scholars and fools; 001:03,045[A ]| Affect ill-mannered pedantry, 001:03,046[A ]| Rudeness, ill-nature, incivility, 001:03,047[A ]| And sick with dregs of knowledge grown, 001:03,048[A ]| Which greedily they swallow down, 001:03,049[A ]| Still cast it up and nauseate company. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,050[A ]| Cursed be the wretch, nay doubly cursed, 001:03,051[A ]| (If it may lawful be 001:03,052[A ]| To curse our greatest enemy) 001:03,053[A ]| Who learnt himself that heresy first 001:03,054[A ]| (Which since has seized on all the rest) 001:03,055[A ]| That knowledge forfeits all humanity; 001:03,056[A ]| Taught us, like Spaniards, to be proud and poor, 001:03,057[A ]| And fling our scraps before our door, 001:03,058[A ]| Thrice happy you have 'scaped this general pest; 001:03,059[A ]| Those mighty epithets, learned, good, and great, 001:03,060[A ]| Which we ne'er joined before, but in romances meet, 001:03,061[A ]| We find in you at last united grown. 001:03,062[A ]| You cannot be compared to one, 001:03,063[A ]| I must, like him that painted Venus' face, 001:03,064[A ]| Borrow from everyone a grace; 001:03,065[A ]| Virgil and Epicurus will not do, 001:03,066[A ]| Their courting a retreat like you, 001:03,067[A ]| Unless I put in Caesar's learning too, 001:03,068[A ]| Your happy frame at once controls 001:03,069[A ]| This great triumvirate of souls. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,070[A ]| Let not old Rome boast Fabius' fate, 001:03,071[A ]| He saved his country by delays, 001:03,072[A ]| But you by peace, 001:03,073[A ]| You bought it at a cheaper rate; 001:03,074[A ]| Nor has it left the usual bloody scar, 001:03,075[A ]| To show it cost its price in war, 001:03,076[A ]| War! that mad game, the world so loves to play, 001:03,077[A ]| And for it does so dearly pay; 001:03,078[A ]| For though with loss or victory awhile 001:03,079[A ]| Fortune the gamesters does beguile, 001:03,080[A ]| Yet at the last the box sweeps all away. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,081[A ]| Only the laurel got by peace 001:03,082[A ]| No thunder e'er can blast, 001:03,083[A ]| The artillery of the skies 001:03,084[A ]| Shoots to the earth and dies; 001:03,085[A ]| Forever green and flourishing 'twill last, 001:03,086[A ]| Nor dipped in blood, nor widow's tears, nor orphan's cries: 001:03,087[A ]| About the head crowned with these bays, 001:03,088[A ]| Like lambent fire the lightning plays; 001:03,089[A ]| Nor its triumphal cavalcade to grace 001:03,090[A ]| Make up its solemn train with death; 001:03,091[A ]| It melts the sword, yet keeps it in its sheath. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,092[A ]| The wily shafts of state, those juggler's tricks 001:03,093[A ]| Which we call deep design and politics 001:03,094[A ]| (As in a theatre the ignorant fry, 001:03,095[A ]| Because the cords escape their eye 001:03,096[A ]| Wonder to see the motions fly) 001:03,097[A ]| Methinks, when you expose the scene, 001:03,098[A ]| Down the ill-organed engines fall; 001:03,099[A ]| Off fly the vizards and discover all, 001:03,100[A ]| How plain I see through the deceit! 001:03,101[A ]| How shallow! and how gross the cheat! 001:03,102[A ]| Look where the pulley's tied above! 001:03,103[A ]| Great God! (said I) what have I seen! 001:03,104[A ]| On what poor engines move 001:03,105[A ]| The thoughts of monarchs, and designs of states, 001:03,106[A ]| What petty motives rule their fates! 001:03,107[A ]| How the mouse makes the mighty mountain shake! 001:03,108[A ]| The mighty mountain labours with its birth, 001:03,109[A ]| Away the frighted peasants fly, 001:03,110[A ]| Scared at the unheard-of prodigy, 001:03,111[A ]| Expect some great gigantic son of earth; 001:03,112[A ]| Lo, it appears! 001:03,113[A ]| See, how they tremble! how they quake! 001:03,114[A ]| Out starts the little beast, and mocks their idle fears. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,115[A ]| Then tell (dear favourite muse) 001:03,116[A ]| What serpent's that which still resorts, 001:03,117[A ]| Still lurks in palaces and courts, 001:03,118[A ]| Take thy unwonted flight, 001:03,119[A ]| And on the terrace light. 001:03,120[A ]| See where she lies! 001:03,121[A ]| See how she rears her head, 001:03,122[A ]| And rolls about her dreadful eyes, 001:03,123[A ]| To drive all virtue out, or look it dead! 001:03,124[A ]| 'Twas sure this basilisk sent Temple thence, 001:03,125[A ]| And though as some ('tis said) for their defence 001:03,126[A ]| Have worn a casement o'er their skin, 001:03,127[A ]| So he wore his within, 001:03,128[A ]| Made up a virtue and transparent innocence: 001:03,129[A ]| And though he oft renewed the fight, 001:03,130[A ]| And almost got priority of sight, 001:03,131[A ]| He ne'er could overcome her quite, 001:03,132[A ]| (In pieces cut, the viper still did reunite) 001:03,133[A ]| Till at last tired with loss of time and ease, 001:03,134[A ]| Resolved to give himself, as well as country peace. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,135[A ]| Sing (beloved muse) the pleasures of retreat, 001:03,136[A ]| And in some untouched virgin strain 001:03,137[A ]| Show the delights thy sister Nature yields, 001:03,138[A ]| Sing of thy vales, sing of thy woods, sing of thy fields; 001:03,139[A ]| Go publish o'er the plain 001:03,140[A ]| How mighty a proselyte you gain! 001:03,141[A ]| How noble a reprisal on the great! 001:03,142[A ]| How is the muse luxuriant grown, 001:03,143[A ]| Whene'er she takes this flight 001:03,144[A ]| She soars clear out of sight, 001:03,145[A ]| These are the paradises of her own; 001:03,146[A ]| (The Pegasus, like an unruly horse 001:03,147[A ]| Though ne'er so gently led 001:03,148[A ]| To the loved pasture where he used to feed, 001:03,149[A ]| Runs violently o'er his usual course.) 001:03,150[A ]| Wake from thy wanton dreams, 001:03,151[A ]| Come from thy dear-loved streams, 001:03,152[A ]| The crooked paths of wandering Thames. 001:03,153[A ]| Fain the nymph would stay, 001:03,154[A ]| Oft she looks back in vain, 001:03,155[A ]| Oft 'gainst her fountain does complain, 001:03,156[A ]| And softly steals in many windings down, 001:03,157[A ]| As loath to see the hated court and town, 001:03,158[A ]| And murmurs as she glides away. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,159[A ]| In this new happy scene 001:03,160[A ]| Are nobler subjects for your learned pen; 001:03,161[A ]| Here we expect from you 001:03,162[A ]| More than your predecessor, Adam, knew; 001:03,163[A ]| Whatever moves our wonder or our sport, 001:03,164[A ]| Whatever serves for innocent emblems of the court; 001:03,165[A ]| How that which we a kernel see, 001:03,166[A ]| Whose well-compacted forms escape the light, 001:03,167[A ]| Unpierced by the blunt rays of sight, 001:03,168[A ]| Shall e'er long grow into a tree, 001:03,169[A ]| Whence takes it its increase, and whence its birth 001:03,170[A ]| Or from the sun, or from the air, or from the earth, 001:03,171[A ]| Where all the fruitful atoms lie, 001:03,172[A ]| How some go downwards to the root, 001:03,173[A ]| Some more ambitiously upwards fly, 001:03,174[A ]| And form the leaves, the branches, and the fruit, 001:03,175[A ]| You strove to cultivate a barren court in vain, 001:03,176[A ]| Your garden's better worth your noble pain, 001:03,177[A ]| Hence mankind fell, and here must rise again. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,178[A ]| Shall I believe a spirit so divine 001:03,179[A ]| Was cast in the same mould with mine? 001:03,180[A ]| Why then does Nature so unjustly share 001:03,181[A ]| Among her elder sons the whole estate 001:03,182[A ]| And all her jewels and her plate? 001:03,183[A ]| Poor we cadets of heaven, not worth her care, 001:03,184[A ]| Take up at best with lumber and the leavings of a fate: 001:03,185[A ]| Some she binds prentice to the spade, 001:03,186[A ]| Some to the drudgery of a trade, 001:03,187[A ]| Some she does to Egyptian bondage draw, 001:03,188[A ]| Bids us make bricks, yet sends us to look out for straw; 001:03,189[A ]| Some she condemns for life to try 001:03,190[A ]| To dig the leaden mines of deep philosophy: 001:03,191[A ]| Me she has to the muse's galleys tied, 001:03,192[A ]| In vain I strive to cross this spacious main, 001:03,193[A ]| In vain I tug and pull the oar, 001:03,194[A ]| And when I almost reach the shore 001:03,195[A ]| Straight the muse turns the helm, and I launch out again; 001:03,196[A ]| And yet to feed my pride, 001:03,197[A ]| Whene'er I mourn, stops my complaining breath, 001:03,198[A ]| With promise of a mad reversion after death. 001:03,000[' ]| 001:03,199[A ]| Then (sir) accept this worthless verse, 001:03,200[A ]| The tribute of an humble muse, 001:03,201[A ]| 'Tis all the portion of my niggard stars; 001:03,202[A ]| Nature the hidden spark did at my birth infuse, 001:03,203[A ]| And kindled first with indolence and ease, 001:03,204[A ]| And since too oft debauched by praise, 001:03,205[A ]| 'Tis now grown an incurable disease: 001:03,206[A ]| In vain to quench this foolish fire I try 001:03,207[A ]| In wisdom and philosophy; 001:03,208[A ]| In vain all wholesome herbs I sow, 001:03,209[A ]| Where nought but weeds will grow. 001:03,210[A ]| Whate'er I plant (like corn on barren earth) 001:03,211[A ]| By an equivocal birth 001:03,212[A ]| Seeds and runs up to poetry. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,001[A ]| Truth is eternal, and the son of heaven, 001:04,002[A ]| Bright effluence of the immortal ray, 001:04,003[A ]| Chief cherub, and chief lamp of that high sacred seven, 001:04,004[A ]| Which guard the throne by night, and are its light by day: 001:04,005[A ]| First of God's darling attributes, 001:04,006[A ]| Thou daily seest Him face to face, 001:04,007[A ]| Nor does thy essence fixed depend on giddy circumstance 001:04,008[A ]| Of time or place, 001:04,009[A ]| Two foolish guides in every sublunary dance: 001:04,010[A ]| How shall we find thee then in dark disputes? 001:04,011[A ]| How shall we search thee in a battle gained, 001:04,012[A ]| Or a weak argument by force maintained? 001:04,013[A ]| In dagger-contests, and the artillery of words, 001:04,014[A ]| (For swords are madmen's tongues, and tongues are madmen's 001:04,014[A ]| swords) 001:04,015[A ]| Contrived to tire all patience out, 001:04,016[A ]| And not to satisfy the doubt: 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,017[A ]| But where is even thy image on our earth? 001:04,018[A ]| For of the person much I fear, 001:04,019[A ]| Since heaven will claim its residence as well as birth, 001:04,020[A ]| And God Himself has said, He shall not find it here. 001:04,021[A ]| For this inferior world is but heaven's dusky shade, 001:04,022[A ]| By dark reverted rays from its reflection made; 001:04,023[A ]| Whence the weak shapes wild and imperfect pass, 001:04,024[A ]| Like sunbeams shot at too far distance from a glass; 001:04,025[A ]| Which all the mimic forms express, 001:04,026[A ]| Though in strange uncouth postures, and uncomely dress; 001:04,027[A ]| So when Cartesian artists try 001:04,028[A ]| To solve appearances of sight 001:04,029[A ]| In its reception to the eye, 001:04,030[A ]| And catch the living landscape through a scanty light, 001:04,031[A ]| The figures all inverted show, 001:04,032[A ]| And colours of a faded hue; 001:04,033[A ]| Here a pale shape with upward footstep treads, 001:04,034[A ]| And men seem walking on their heads; 001:04,035[A ]| There whole herds suspended lie 001:04,036[A ]| Ready to tumble down into the sky; 001:04,037[A ]| Such are the ways ill-guided mortals go 001:04,038[A ]| To judge of things above by things below. 001:04,039[A ]| Disjointing shapes as in the fairy-land of dreams, 001:04,040[A ]| Or images that sink in streams; 001:04,041[A ]| No wonder, then, we talk amiss 001:04,042[A ]| Of truth, and what, or where it is: 001:04,043[A ]| Say muse, for thou, if any, know'st 001:04,044[A ]| Since the bright essence fled, where haunts the reverend ghost? 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,045[A ]| If all that our weak knowledge titles virtue, be 001:04,046[A ]| (High truth) the best resemblance of exalted Thee, 001:04,047[A ]| If a mind fixed to combat fate 001:04,048[A ]| With those two powerful swords, Submission and Humility, 001:04,049[A ]| Sounds truly good, or truly great; 001:04,050[A ]| Ill may I live, if the good SANCROFT in his holy rest, 001:04,051[A ]| In the divinity of retreat, 001:04,052[A ]| Be not the brightest patterns earth can show 001:04,053[A ]| Of heaven-born truth below: 001:04,054[A ]| But foolish man still judges what is best 001:04,055[A ]| In his own balance, false and light, 001:04,056[A ]| Following opinion, dark, and blind, 001:04,057[A ]| That vagrant leader of the mind, 001:04,058[A ]| Till Honesty and Conscience are clear out of sight. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,059[A ]| And some, to be large ciphers in a state, 001:04,060[A ]| Pleased with an empty swelling to be counted great; 001:04,061[A ]| Make their minds travel o'er infinity of space, 001:04,062[A ]| Rapt through the wide expanse of thought, 001:04,063[A ]| And oft in contradiction's vortex caught, 001:04,064[A ]| To keep that worthless clod, the body, in one place: 001:04,065[A ]| Errors like this did old astronomers misguide, 001:04,066[A ]| Led blindly on by gross philosophy and pride, 001:04,067[A ]| Who, like hard masters, taught the sun 001:04,068[A ]| Through many a needless sphere to run, 001:04,069[A ]| Many an eccentric and unthrifty motion make, 001:04,070[A ]| And thousand incoherent journeys take, 001:04,071[A ]| Whilst all the advantage by it got, 001:04,072[A ]| Was but to light earth's inconsiderable spot. 001:04,073[A ]| The herd beneath, who see the weathercock of state 001:04,074[A ]| Hung loosely on the church's pinnacle, 001:04,075[A ]| Believe it firm, because perhaps the day is mild and still; 001:04,076[A ]| But when they find it turn with the first blast of fate, 001:04,077[A ]| By gazing upwards giddy grow, 001:04,078[A ]| And think the church itself does so; 001:04,079[A ]| Thus fools, for being strong and numerous grown, 001:04,080[A ]| Suppose the truth, like all the world, their own; 001:04,081[A ]| And holy SANCROFT's motion quite irregular appears, 001:04,082[A ]| Because 'tis opposite to theirs. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,083[A ]| In vain then would the muse the multitude advise, 001:04,084[A ]| Whose peevish knowledge thus perversely lies 001:04,085[A ]| In gathering follies from the wise; 001:04,086[A ]| Rather put on thy anger and thy spite, 001:04,087[A ]| And some kind power for once dispense 001:04,088[A ]| Through the dark mass, the dawn of so much sense, 001:04,089[A ]| To make them understand, and feel me when I write; 001:04,090[A ]| The muse and I no more revenge desire, 001:04,091[A ]| Each line shall stab, shall blast, like daggers and like fire; 001:04,092[A ]| Ah, Britain, land of angels! which of all thy sins, 001:04,093[A ]| (Say, hapless isle, although 001:04,094[A ]| It is a bloody list we know) 001:04,095[A ]| Has given thee up a dwelling-place to fiends? 001:04,096[A ]| Sin and the plague ever abound 001:04,097[A ]| In governments too easy, and too fruitful ground; 001:04,098[A ]| Evils which a too gentle king, 001:04,099[A ]| Too flourishing a spring, 001:04,100[A ]| And too warm summers bring: 001:04,101[A ]| Our British soil is over-rank, and breeds 001:04,102[A ]| Among the noblest flowers a thousand poisonous weeds, 001:04,103[A ]| And every stinking weed so lofty grows, 001:04,104[A ]| As if 'twould overshade the royal rose, 001:04,105[A ]| The royal rose the glory of our morn, 001:04,106[A ]| But, ah, too much without a thorn. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,107[A ]| Forgive (original mildness) this ill-governed zeal, 001:04,108[A ]| 'Tis all the angry slighted muse can do 001:04,109[A ]| In the pollution of these days; 001:04,110[A ]| No province now is left her but to rail, 001:04,111[A ]| And poetry has lost the art to praise, 001:04,112[A ]| Alas, the occasions are so few: 001:04,113[A ]| None e're but you, 001:04,114[A ]| And your almighty master, knew 001:04,115[A ]| With heavenly peace of mind to bear 001:04,116[A ]| (Free from our tyrant-passions, anger, scorn, or fear) 001:04,117[A ]| The giddy turns of popular rage, 001:04,118[A ]| And all the contradictions of a poisoned age; 001:04,119[A ]| The Son of God pronounced by the same breath 001:04,120[A ]| With straight pronounced his death; 001:04,121[A ]| And though I should but ill be understood 001:04,122[A ]| In wholly equalling our sin and theirs, 001:04,123[A ]| And measuring by the scanty thread of wit 001:04,124[A ]| What we call holy, and great, and just, and good, 001:04,125[A ]| (Methods in talk whereof our pride and ignorance makes us use) 001:04,126[A ]| And which our wild ambition foolishly compares 001:04,127[A ]| With endless and with infinite; 001:04,128[A ]| Yet pardon, native Albion, when I say 001:04,129[A ]| Among thy stubborn sons there haunts that spirit of Jews, 001:04,130[A ]| That those forsaken wretches who today 001:04,131[A ]| Revile His great ambassador, 001:04,132[A ]| Seem to discover what they would have done 001:04,133[A ]| (Were his humanity on earth once more) 001:04,134[A ]| To his undoubted master, heaven's almighty son. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,135[A ]| But zeal is weak and ignorant, though wondrous proud, 001:04,136[A ]| Though very turbulent and very loud; 001:04,137[A ]| The crazy composition shows, 001:04,138[A ]| Like that fantastic medley in the idol's toes, 001:04,139[A ]| Made up of iron mixed with clay, 001:04,140[A ]| This, crumbles into dust, 001:04,141[A ]| That, moulders into rust, 001:04,142[A ]| Or melts by the first shower away. 001:04,143[A ]| Nothing is fixed that mortals see or know, 001:04,144[A ]| Unless, perhaps, some stars above be so; 001:04,145[A ]| And those, alas, do show 001:04,146[A ]| Like all transcendent excellence below; 001:04,147[A ]| In both, false mediums cheat our sight, 001:04,148[A ]| And far exalted objects lessen by their height: 001:04,149[A ]| Thus, primitive SANCROFT moves too high 001:04,150[A ]| To be observed by vulgar eye, 001:04,151[A ]| And rolls the silent year 001:04,152[A ]| On his own secret regular sphere, 001:04,153[A ]| And sheds, though all unseen, his sacred influence here. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,154[A ]| Kind star, still mayst thou shed thy sacred influence here, 001:04,155[A ]| Or from thy private peaceful orb appear; 001:04,156[A ]| For, sure, we want some guide from heaven to show 001:04,157[A ]| The way which every wandering fool below 001:04,158[A ]| Pretends so perfectly to know; 001:04,159[A ]| And which for aught I see, and much I fear, 001:04,160[A ]| The world has wholly missed; 001:04,161[A ]| I mean, the way which leads to Christ: 001:04,162[A ]| Mistaken idiots! see how giddily they run, 001:04,163[A ]| Led blindly on by avarice and pride, 001:04,164[A ]| What mighty numbers follow them; 001:04,165[A ]| Each fond of erring with his guide: 001:04,166[A ]| Some whom ambition drives, seek heaven's high son 001:04,167[A ]| In Caesar's court, or in Jerusalem; 001:04,168[A ]| Others, ignorantly wise, 001:04,169[A ]| Among proud doctors and disputing pharisees: 001:04,170[A ]| What could the sages gain but unbelieving scorn; 001:04,171[A ]| Their faith was so uncourtly when they said 001:04,172[A ]| That heaven's high son was in a village born; 001:04,173[A ]| That the world's saviour had been 001:04,174[A ]| In a vile manger laid, 001:04,175[A ]| And fostered in a wretched inn. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,176[A ]| Necessity, thou tyrant conscience of the great, 001:04,177[A ]| Say, why the church is still led blindfold by the state? 001:04,178[A ]| Why should the first be ruined and laid waste, 001:04,179[A ]| To mend the dilapidations in the last? 001:04,180[A ]| And yet the world, whose eyes are on our mighty prince, 001:04,181[A ]| Thinks heaven has cancelled all our sins, 001:04,182[A ]| And that his subjects share his happy influence; 001:04,183[A ]| Follow the model close, for so I'm sure they should, 001:04,184[A ]| But wicked kings draw more examples than the good; 001:04,185[A ]| And divine SANCROFT, weary with the weight 001:04,186[A ]| Of a declining church, by faction her worse foe oppressed, 001:04,187[A ]| Finding the mitre almost grown 001:04,188[A ]| A load as heavy as the crown, 001:04,189[A ]| Wisely retreated to his heavenly rest. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,190[A ]| Ah, may no unkind earthquake of the state, 001:04,191[A ]| Nor hurricano from the crown, 001:04,192[A ]| Disturb the present mitre, as that fearful storm of late, 001:04,193[A ]| Which in its dusky march along the plain, 001:04,194[A ]| Swept up whole churches as it list, 001:04,195[A ]| Wrapped in a whirlwind and a mist; 001:04,196[A ]| Like that prophetic tempest in the virgin reign, 001:04,197[A ]| And swallowed them at last, or flung them down. 001:04,198[A ]| Such were the storms good SANCROFT long has borne; 001:04,199[A ]| The mitre, which his sacred head has worn, 001:04,200[A ]| Was, like his master's crown, enwreathed with thorn. 001:04,201[A ]| Death's sting is swallowed up in victory at last, 001:04,202[A ]| The bitter cup is from him passed: 001:04,203[A ]| Fortune in both extremes, 001:04,204[A ]| Though blasts from contrariety of winds, 001:04,205[A ]| Yet to firm heavenly minds, 001:04,206[A ]| Is but one thing under two different names; 001:04,207[A ]| And even the sharpest eye that has the prospect seen, 001:04,208[A ]| Confesses ignorance to judge between; 001:04,209[A ]| And must, to human reasoning opposite, conclude 001:04,210[A ]| To point out which is moderation, which is fortitude. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,211[A ]| Thus SANCROFT, in the exaltation of retreat, 001:04,212[A ]| Shows lustre that was shaded in his seat; 001:04,213[A ]| Short glimmerings of the prelate glorified; 001:04,214[A ]| Which the disguise of greatness only served to hide; 001:04,215[A ]| Why should the sun, alas, be proud 001:04,216[A ]| To lodge behind a golden cloud; 001:04,217[A ]| Though fringed with evening gold the cloud appears so gay, 001:04,218[A ]| 'Tis but a low-born vapour kindled by a ray; 001:04,219[A ]| At length 'tis over-blown and past, 001:04,220[A ]| Puffed by the people's spiteful blast, 001:04,221[A ]| The dazzling glory dims their prostituted sight, 001:04,222[A ]| No deflowered eye can face the naked light: 001:04,223[A ]| Yet does this high perfection well proceed 001:04,224[A ]| From strength of its own native seed, 001:04,225[A ]| This wilderness the world, like that poetic wood of old, 001:04,226[A ]| Bears one, and but one branch of gold, 001:04,227[A ]| Where the blessed spirit lodges like the dove, 001:04,228[A ]| And which (to heavenly soil transplanted) will improve, 001:04,229[A ]| To be, as 'twas below, the brightest plant above; 001:04,230[A ]| For, whate'er theologic levellers dream, 001:04,231[A ]| There are degrees above I know 001:04,232[A ]| As well as here below, 001:04,233[A ]| (The goddess muse herself has told me so) 001:04,234[A ]| Where high patrician souls dressed heavenly gay, 001:04,235[A ]| Sit clad in lawn of purer woven day, 001:04,236[A ]| There some high spiritual throne to SANCROFT shall be given, 001:04,237[A ]| In the metropolis of heaven; 001:04,238[A ]| Chief of the mitred saints, and from arch-prelate here, 001:04,239[A ]| Translated to arch-angel there. 001:04,000[' ]| 001:04,240[A ]| Since, happy saint, since it has been of late 001:04,241[A ]| Either our blindness or our fate, 001:04,242[A ]| To lose the providence of thy cares, 001:04,243[A ]| Pity a miserable church's tears, 001:04,244[A ]| That begs the powerful blessing of thy prayers. 001:04,245[A ]| Some angel say, what were the nation's crimes, 001:04,246[A ]| That sent these wild reformers to our times; 001:04,247[A ]| Say what their senseless malice meant, 001:04,248[A ]| To tear Religion's lovely face; 001:04,249[A ]| Strip her of every ornament and grace, 001:04,250[A ]| In striving to wash off the imaginary paint: 001:04,251[A ]| Religion now does on her deathbed lie, 001:04,252[A ]| Heartsick of a high fever and consuming atrophy; 001:04,253[A ]| How the physicians swarm to show their mortal skill, 001:04,254[A ]| And by their college-arts methodically kill: 001:04,255[A ]| Reformers and physicians differ but in name, 001:04,256[A ]| One end in both, and the design the same; 001:04,257[A ]| Cordials are in their talk, whilst all they mean 001:04,258[A ]| Is but the patient's death, and gain ~~ 001:04,259[A ]| Check in thy satire, angry muse, 001:04,260[A ]| Or a more worthy subject choose: 001:04,261[A ]| Let not the outcasts of this outcast age 001:04,262[A ]| Provoke the honour of my muse's rage, 001:04,263[A ]| Nor be thy mighty spirit raised, 001:04,264[A ]| Since heaven and Cato both are pleased ~~ 001:05,000[' ]| 001:05,001[A ]| Thrice, with a prophet's voice and prophet's power, 001:05,002[A ]| The muse was called in a poetic hour, 001:05,003[A ]| And insolently thrice, the slighted maid 001:05,004[A ]| Dared to suspend her unregarded aid; 001:05,005[A ]| Then with that grief we form in spirits divine, 001:05,006[A ]| Pleads for her own neglect, and thus reproaches mine: 001:05,007@b | ""Once highly honoured! False is the pretence 001:05,008@b | You make to truth, retreat, and innocence; 001:05,009@b | Who, to pollute my shades, bringst with thee down 001:05,010@b | The most ungenerous vices of the town; 001:05,011@b | Ne'er sprang a youth from out this isle before 001:05,012@b | I once esteemed, and loved, and favoured more, 001:05,013@b | Nor ever maid endured such court-like scorn, 001:05,014@b | So much in mode, so very city-born; 001:05,015@b | 'Tis with a foul design the muse you send, 001:05,016@b | Like a cast mistress to your wicked friend; 001:05,017@b | But find some new address, some fresh deceit, 001:05,018@b | Nor practise such an antiquated cheat; 001:05,019@b | These are the beaten methods of the stews, 001:05,020@b | Stale forms of course, all mean deceivers use, 001:05,021@b | Who barbarously think to 'scape reproach, 001:05,022@b | By prostituting her they first debauch."" 001:05,023[A ]| Thus did the muse severe unkindly blame 001:05,024[A ]| This offering long designed to Congreve's fame; 001:05,025[A ]| First chid the zeal as unpoetic fire, 001:05,026[A ]| Which soon her merit forced her to inspire; 001:05,027[A ]| Then call this verse, that speaks her largest aid, 001:05,028[A ]| The greatest compliment she ever made, 001:05,029[A ]| And wisely judge, no power beneath divine 001:05,030[A ]| Could leap the bounds which part your world and mine; 001:05,031[A ]| For, youth, believe, to your unseen, is fixed 001:05,032[A ]| A mighty gulf unpassable betwixt. 001:05,033[A ]| Nor tax the goddess of a mean design 001:05,034[A ]| To praise your parts by publishing of mine; 001:05,035[A ]| That be my thought when some large bulky writ 001:05,036[A ]| Shows in the front the ambition of my wit; 001:05,037[A ]| There to surmount what bears me up, and sing 001:05,038[A ]| Like the victorious wren perched on the eagle's wing; 001:05,039[A ]| This could I do, and proudly o'er him tower, 001:05,040[A ]| Were my desires but heightened to my power. 001:05,041[A ]| Godlike the force of my young Congreve's bays, 001:05,042[A ]| Softening the muse's thunder into praise; 001:05,043[A ]| Sent to assist an old unvanquished pride 001:05,044[A ]| That looks with scorn on half mankind beside; 001:05,045[A ]| A pride that well suspends poor mortals' fate, 001:05,046[A ]| Gets between them and my resentment's weight, 001:05,047[A ]| Stands in the gap 'twixt me and wretched men, 001:05,048[A ]| T' avert the impending judgements of my pen. 001:05,049[A ]| Thus I look down with mercy on the age, 001:05,050[A ]| By hopes my Congreve will reform the stage; 001:05,051[A ]| For never did poetic mine before 001:05,052[A ]| Produce a richer vein or cleaner ore: 001:05,053[A ]| The bullion stamped in your refining mind 001:05,054[A ]| Serves by retail to furnish half mankind. 001:05,055[A ]| With indignation I behold your wit 001:05,056[A ]| Forced on me, cracked, and clipped, and counterfeit, 001:05,057[A ]| By vile pretenders, who a stock maintain 001:05,058[A ]| From broken scraps and filings of your brain. 001:05,059[A ]| Through native dross your share is hardly known, 001:05,060[A ]| And by short views mistook for all your own; 001:05,061[A ]| So small the gain from those your wit do reap, 001:05,062[A ]| Who blend it into folly's larger heap, 001:05,063[A ]| Like the sun's scattered beams which pass, 001:05,064[A ]| When some rough hand breaks the assembling glass. 001:05,065[A ]| Yet want your critics no just cause to rail, 001:05,066[A ]| Since knaves are ne'er obliged for what they steal. 001:05,067[A ]| These pad on wit's high road, and suits maintain 001:05,068[A ]| With those they rob, by what their trade does gain. 001:05,069[A ]| Thus censure seems that fiery froth which breeds 001:05,070[A ]| O'er the sun's face, and from his heat proceeds, 001:05,071[A ]| Crusts o'er the day, shadowing its parent beam 001:05,072[A ]| As ancient nature's modern masters dream; 001:05,073[A ]| This bids some curious praters here below 001:05,074[A ]| Call Titan sick, because their sight is so; 001:05,075[A ]| And well, methinks, does this allusion fit 001:05,076[A ]| To scribblers, and the god of light and wit; 001:05,077[A ]| Those who by wild delusions entertain 001:05,078[A ]| A lust of rhyming for a poet's vein, 001:05,079[A ]| Raise envy's clouds to leave themselves in night, 001:05,080[A ]| But can no more obscure my Congreve's light 001:05,081[A ]| Than swarms of gnats, that wanton in a ray 001:05,082[A ]| Which gave them birth, can rob the world of day. 001:05,083[A ]| What northern hive poured out these foes to wit? 001:05,084[A ]| Whence came these Goths to overrun the pit? 001:05,085[A ]| How would you blush the shameful birth to hear 001:05,086[A ]| Of those you so ignobly stoop to fear; 001:05,087[A ]| For, ill to them, long have I travelled since 001:05,088[A ]| Round all the circles of impertinence, 001:05,089[A ]| Searched in the nest where every worm did lie 001:05,090[A ]| Before it grew a city butterfly; 001:05,091[A ]| I'm sure I found them other kind of things 001:05,092[A ]| Than those with backs of silk and golden wings; 001:05,093[A ]| A search, no doubt, as curious and as wise 001:05,094[A ]| As virtuosos' in detecting flies; 001:05,095[A ]| For, could you think? the fiercest foes you dread, 001:05,096[A ]| And court in prologues, all are country-bred; 001:05,097[A ]| Bred in my scene, and for the poet's sins 001:05,098[A ]| Adjourned from tops and grammar to the inns; 001:05,099[A ]| Those beds of dung, where schoolboys sprout up beaux 001:05,100[A ]| Far sooner than the nobler mushroom grows: 001:05,101[A ]| These are the lords of the poetic schools, 001:05,102[A ]| Who preach the saucy pedantry of rules; 001:05,103[A ]| Those powers the critics, who may boast the odds 001:05,104[A ]| O'er Nile, with all its wilderness of gods; 001:05,105[A ]| Nor could the nations kneel to viler shapes, 001:05,106[A ]| Which worshipped cats, and sacrificed to apes; 001:05,107[A ]| And can you think the wise forbear to laugh 001:05,108[A ]| At the warm zeal that breeds this golden calf? 001:05,109[A ]| Haply you judge these lines severely writ 001:05,110[A ]| Against the proud usurpers of the pit; 001:05,111[A ]| Stay while I tell my story, short, and true; 001:05,112[A ]| To draw conclusions shall be left to you; 001:05,113[A ]| Nor need I ramble far to force a rule, 001:05,114[A ]| But lay the scene just here at Farnham school. 001:05,115[A ]| Last year, a lad hence by his parents sent 001:05,116[A ]| With other cattle to the city went; 001:05,117[A ]| Where having cast his coat, and well pursued 001:05,118[A ]| The methods most in fashion to be lewd, 001:05,119[A ]| Returned a finished spark this summer down, 001:05,120[A ]| Stocked with the freshest gibberish of the town; 001:05,121[A ]| A jargon formed from the lost language, wit, 001:05,122[A ]| Confounded in that Babel of the pit; 001:05,123[A ]| Formed by diseased conceptions, weak, and wild, 001:05,124[A ]| Sick lust of souls, and an abortive child; 001:05,125[A ]| Born between whores and fops, by lewd compacts, 001:05,126[A ]| Before the play, or else between the acts: 001:05,127[A ]| Nor wonder, if from such polluted minds 001:05,128[A ]| Should spring such short and transitory kinds, 001:05,129[A ]| Or crazy rules to make us wits by rote 001:05,130[A ]| Last just as long as every cuckoo's note: 001:05,131[A ]| What bungling, rusty tools are used by fate! 001:05,132[A ]| 'Twas in an evil hour to urge my hate, 001:05,133[A ]| My hate, whose lash just heaven has long decreed 001:05,134[A ]| Shall on a day make sin and folly bleed; 001:05,135[A ]| When man's ill genius to my presence sent 001:05,136[A ]| This wretch, to rouse my wrath, for ruin meant; 001:05,137[A ]| Who in his idiom vile, with Gray's Inn grace, 001:05,138[A ]| Squandered his noisy talents to my face; 001:05,139[A ]| Named every player on his fingers' ends, 001:05,140[A ]| Swore all the wits were his peculiar friends; 001:05,141[A ]| Talked with that saucy and familiar ease 001:05,142[A ]| Of Wycherley, and you, and Mr*Bays; 001:05,143[A ]| Said, how a late report your friends had vexed, 001:05,144[A ]| Who heard you meant to write heroics next; 001:05,145[A ]| For, tragedy, he knew, would lose you quite, 001:05,146[A ]| And told you so at Will's but t'other night. 001:05,147[A ]| Thus are the lives of fools a sort of dreams, 001:05,148[A ]| Rendering shades, things, and substances of names; 001:05,149[A ]| Such high companions may delusion keep, 001:05,150[A ]| Lords are a footboy's cronies in his sleep. 001:05,151[A ]| As a fresh miss, by fancy, face, and gown, 001:05,152[A ]| Rendered the topping beauty of the town, 001:05,153[A ]| Draws every rhyming, prating, dressing sot, 001:05,154[A ]| To boast of favours that he never got; 001:05,155[A ]| Of which, whoe'er lacks confidence to prate, 001:05,156[A ]| Brings his good parts and breeding in debate; 001:05,157[A ]| And not the meanest coxcomb you can find, 001:05,158[A ]| But thanks his stars, that Phyllis has been kind; 001:05,159[A ]| Thus prostitute my Congreve's name is grown 001:05,160[A ]| To every lewd pretender of the town. 001:05,161[A ]| Troth I could pity you; but this is it, 001:05,162[A ]| You find, to be a fashionable wit; 001:05,163[A ]| These are the slaves whom reputation chains, 001:05,164[A ]| Whose maintenance requires no help from brains. 001:05,165[A ]| For, should the vilest scribbler to the pit, 001:05,166[A ]| Whom sin and want e'er furnished out a wit; 001:05,167[A ]| Whose name must not within my lines be shown, 001:05,168[A ]| Lest here it live, when perished with his own; 001:05,169[A ]| Should such a wretch usurp my Congreve's place, 001:05,170[A ]| And choose out wits who ne'er have seen his face; 001:05,171[A ]| I'll bet my life but the dull cheat would pass, 001:05,172[A ]| Nor need the lion's skin conceal the ass; 001:05,173[A ]| Yes, that beau's look, that voice, those critic ears, 001:05,174[A ]| Must needs be right, so well resembling theirs. 001:05,175[A ]| Perish the muse's hour, thus vainly spent 001:05,176[A ]| In satire, to my Congreve's praises meant; 001:05,177[A ]| In how ill season her resentments rule, 001:05,178[A ]| What's that to her if mankind be a fool? 001:05,179[A ]| Happy beyond a private muse's fate, 001:05,180[A ]| In pleasing all that's good among the great, 001:05,181[A ]| Where though her eldest sisters crowding throng, 001:05,182[A ]| She still is welcome with her innocent song; 001:05,183[A ]| Whom were my Congreve blessed to see and know, 001:05,184[A ]| What poor regards would merit all below! 001:05,185[A ]| How proudly would he haste the joy to meet, 001:05,186[A ]| And drop his laurel at Apollo's feet. 001:05,187[A ]| Here by a mountain's side, a reverend cave 001:05,188[A ]| Gives murmuring passage to a lasting wave; 001:05,189[A ]| 'Tis the world's watery hour-glass streaming fast, 001:05,190[A ]| Time is no more when the utmost drop is past: 001:05,191[A ]| Here, on a better day, some druid dwelt, 001:05,192[A ]| And the young muse's early favour felt; 001:05,193[A ]| Druid, a name she does with pride repeat, 001:05,194[A ]| Confessing Albion once her darling seat; 001:05,195[A ]| Far in this primitive cell might we pursue 001:05,196[A ]| Our predecessors' footsteps, still in view; 001:05,197[A ]| Here would we sing ~~ But, ah! you think I dream, 001:05,198[A ]| And the bad world may well believe the same; 001:05,199[A ]| Yes; you are all malicious standers-by, 001:05,200[A ]| While two fond lovers prate, the muse and I. 001:05,201[A ]| Since thus I wander from my first intent, 001:05,202[A ]| Nor am that grave advisor which I meant; 001:05,203[A ]| Take this short lesson from the god of bays, 001:05,204[A ]| And let my friend apply it as he please: 001:05,205[A ]| Beat not the dirty paths where vulgar feet have trod, 001:05,206[A ]| But give the vigorous fancy room. 001:05,207[A ]| For when like stupid alchemists you try 001:05,208[A ]| To fix this nimble god, 001:05,209[A ]| This volatile mercury, 001:05,210[A ]| The subtle spirit all flies up in fume; 001:05,211[A ]| Nor shall the bubbled virtuoso find 001:05,212[A ]| More than a fade insipid mixture left behind. 001:05,213[A ]| Whilst thus I write, vast shoals of critics come, 001:05,214[A ]| And on my verse pronounce their saucy doom; 001:05,215[A ]| The muse, like some bright country virgin, shows, 001:05,216[A ]| Fallen by mishap among a knot of beaux; 001:05,217[A ]| They, in their lewd and fashionable prate, 001:05,218[A ]| Rally her dress, her language, and her gait; 001:05,219[A ]| Spend their base coin before the bashful maid, 001:05,220[A ]| Current like copper, and as often paid: 001:05,221[A ]| She, who on shady banks has joyed to sleep 001:05,222[A ]| Near better animals, her father's sheep; 001:05,223[A ]| Shamed and amazed, beholds the chattering throng, 001:05,224[A ]| To think what cattle she has got among; 001:05,225[A ]| But with the odious smell and sight annoyed, 001:05,226[A ]| In haste she does the offensive herd avoid. 001:05,227[A ]| 'Tis time to bid my friend a long farewell, 001:05,228[A ]| The muse retreats far in yon crystal cell; 001:05,229[A ]| Faint inspiration sickens as she flies, 001:05,230[A ]| Like distant echo spent, the spirit dies. 001:05,231[A ]| In this descending sheet you'll haply find 001:05,232[A ]| Some short refreshment for your weary mind, 001:05,233[A ]| Naught it contains is common or unclean, 001:05,234[A ]| And once drawn up, is ne'er let down again. 001:06,000[' ]| 001:06,000[' ]| <7Hae 7latebrae 7dulces, 7et 7si 7mihi 7credis, 7amoenae.> 001:06,001[A ]| Let others with Parnassus swell their theme, 001:06,002[A ]| Drink inspiration from the Aonian stream: 001:06,003[A ]| Let them draw Phoebus down to patch a line, 001:06,004[A ]| Invoke, that hackney fry, the tuneful nine: 001:06,005[A ]| I that of Ludwell sing, to Ludwell run, 001:06,006[A ]| Herself my muse, her spring my Helicon. 001:06,007[A ]| The neighbouring park its friendly aid allows; 001:06,008[A ]| Perfumed with thyme, o'erspread with shady boughs; 001:06,009[A ]| Its leafy canopies new thoughts instil, 001:06,010[A ]| And Crooksberry supplies the cloven hill. 001:06,011[A ]| Pomona does Minerva's stores dispense, 001:06,012[A ]| And Flora sheds her balmy influence; 001:06,013[A ]| All things conspire to press my modest muse, 001:06,014[A ]| The morning herbs adorned with pearly dews, 001:06,015[A ]| The meadows interlaced with silver floods, 001:06,016[A ]| The frizzled thickets, and the taller woods. 001:06,017[A ]| The whispering zephyrs my more silent tongue 001:06,018[A ]| Correct, and Philomela chirps a song. 001:06,019[A ]| Is there a bird of all the blooming year, 001:06,020[A ]| That has not sung his early matins here? 001:06,021[A ]| That has not sipped the fairy matron's spring, 001:06,022[A ]| Or hovered o'er her cave with wishful wing? 001:06,023[A ]| An awful fabric built by nature's hand 001:06,024[A ]| Does raise our wonder, our respect command. 001:06,025[A ]| Three lucky trees to wilder art unknown 001:06,026[A ]| Seem on the front a growing triple crown. 001:06,027[A ]| At first the arched room is high and wide, 001:06,028[A ]| The naked walls with mossy hangings hid; 001:06,029[A ]| The ceiling sandy: as you forward press 001:06,030[A ]| The roof is still declining into less; 001:06,031[A ]| Despair to reach the end ~~ a little arch 001:06,032[A ]| Narrow and low forbids your utmost search. 001:06,033[A ]| So to her lover the chaste, beauteous lass 001:06,034[A ]| Without a blush vouchsafes to show her face, 001:06,035[A ]| Her neck of ivory, her snowy breast, 001:06,036[A ]| These shown, she modestly conceals the rest. 001:06,037[A ]| A shallow brook, that restless underground 001:06,038[A ]| Struggled with earth, here a moist passage found. 001:06,039[A ]| Down through a stony vein the waters roll 001:06,040[A ]| O'erflowing the capacious iron bowl: 001:06,041[A ]| Oh! happy bowl, that gladness can infuse, 001:06,042[A ]| And yet was never stained with heady juice. 001:06,043[A ]| Here thirsty souls carouse with innocence, 001:06,044[A ]| Nor owe their pleasure to their loss of sense. 001:06,045[A ]| Here a smooth floor had many a figure shown, 001:06,046[A ]| Had virgin footsteps made impression, 001:06,047[A ]| That soft and swift Camilla-like advance, 001:06,048[A ]| While even movements seem to fly a dance. 001:06,049[A ]| No quilted couch, the sick man's daily bed, 001:06,050[A ]| No seats to lull asleep diseases made, 001:06,051[A ]| Are seen; but such as healthy persons please 001:06,052[A ]| Of wood or stone, such as the wearied ease. 001:06,053[A ]| O might I still enjoy this peaceful gloom! 001:06,054[A ]| The truest entrance to Elysium. 001:06,055[A ]| Who would to the Cumaean den repair? 001:06,056[A ]| A better Sibyl, wiser power is here. 001:06,057[A ]| Methinks I see him from his palace come, 001:06,058[A ]| And with his presence grace the baleful room: 001:06,059[A ]| Consider, Ludwell, what to him you owe, 001:06,060[A ]| Who does for you the noisy court forego; 001:06,061[A ]| Nay he a rich and gaudy silence leaves, 001:06,062[A ]| You share the honour, sweet, Moor Park receives. 001:06,063[A ]| You with your wrinkles admiration move, 001:06,064[A ]| That with its beauty better merits love. 001:06,065[A ]| Here's careless Nature in her ancient dress, 001:06,066[A ]| There's she more modish, and consults the glass. 001:06,067[A ]| Here she's an old, but yet a pleasant dame; 001:06,068[A ]| There she'll a fair, not painted virgin seem. 001:06,069[A ]| Here the rich metal hath through no fire passed, 001:06,070[A ]| There, though refined, by no alloy debased. 001:06,071[A ]| Thus nature is preserved in every part, 001:06,072[A ]| Sometimes adorned, but ne'er debauched by art. 001:06,073[A ]| When scattered locks, that dangle on the brow, 001:06,074[A ]| Into more decent hairy circles grow, 001:06,075[A ]| After inquiry made, though no man love 001:06,076[A ]| The curling iron, all the comb approve. 001:07,000[' ]| 001:07,000[' ]| 001:07,001[A ]| Strange to conceive, how the same objects strike 001:07,002[A ]| At distant hours the mind with forms so like! 001:07,003[A ]| Whether in time, deduction's broken chain 001:07,004[A ]| Meets, and salutes her sister link again; 001:07,005[A ]| Or hunted fancy, by a circling flight, 001:07,006[A ]| Comes back with joy to his own seat at night; 001:07,007[A ]| Or whether dead imagination's ghost 001:07,008[A ]| Oft hovers where alive it haunted most; 001:07,009[A ]| Or if thought's rolling globe her circle run, 001:07,010[A ]| Turns up old objects to the soul her sun; 001:07,011[A ]| Or loves the muse to walk with conscious pride 001:07,012[A ]| O'er the glad scene whence first she rose a bride. 001:07,013[A ]| Be what it will; late near yon whispering stream, 001:07,014[A ]| Where her own Temple was her darling theme; 001:07,015[A ]| There first the visionary sound was heard, 001:07,016[A ]| When to poetic view the muse appeared. 001:07,017[A ]| Such seemed her eyes, as when an evening ray 001:07,018[A ]| Gives glad farewell to a tempestuous day; 001:07,019[A ]| Weak is the beam to dry up nature's tears, 001:07,020[A ]| Still every tree the pendent sorrow wears; 001:07,021[A ]| \Such are the smiles where drops of crystal show,\ 001:07,022[A ]| \Approaching joy at strife with parting woe.\ 001:07,023[A ]| As when to scare the ungrateful or the proud 001:07,024[A ]| Tempests long frown, and thunder threatens loud, 001:07,025[A ]| Till the blessed sun to give kind dawn of grace 001:07,026[A ]| Darts weeping beams across heaven's watery face; 001:07,027[A ]| When soon the peaceful bow unstringed is shown, 001:07,028[A ]| A sign God's dart is shot, and wrath o'erblown; 001:07,029[A ]| Such to unhallowed sight the muse divine 001:07,030[A ]| Might seem, when first she raised her eyes to mine. 001:07,031@a | ""What mortal change does in thy face appear, 001:07,032@a | Lost youth,"" 001:07,032[A ]| she cried, 001:07,032@a | ""since first I met thee here! 001:07,033@a | With how undecent clouds are overcast 001:07,034@a | Thy looks, when every cause of grief is past! 001:07,035@a | Unworthy the glad tidings which I bring, 001:07,036@a | Listen while the muse thus teaches thee to sing. 001:07,037@a | As parent earth, burst by imprisoned winds, 001:07,038@a | Scatters strange agues o'er men's sickly minds, 001:07,039@a | And shakes the atheist's knees; such ghastly fear 001:07,040@a | Late I beheld on every face appear; 001:07,041@a | Mild Dorothea, peaceful, wise, and great, 001:07,042@a | Trembling beheld the doubtful hand of fate; 001:07,043@a | Mild Dorothea, whom we both have long 001:07,044@a | Not dared to injure with our lowly song; 001:07,045@a | Sprung from a better world, and chosen then 001:07,046@a | The best companion for the best of men: 001:07,047@a | As some fair pile, yet spared by zeal and rage, 001:07,048@a | Lives pious witness of a better age; 001:07,049@a | So men may see what once was womankind, 001:07,050@a | In the fair shrine of Dorothea's mind. 001:07,051@a | You that would grief describe, come here and trace 001:07,052@a | Its watery footsteps in Dorinda's face; 001:07,053@a | Grief from Dorinda's face does ne'er depart 001:07,054@a | Further than its own palace in her heart: 001:07,055@a | Ah, since our fears are fled, this insolent expel, 001:07,056@a | At least confine the tyrant to his cell. 001:07,057@a | And if so black the cloud, that heaven's bright queen 001:07,058@a | Shrouds her still beams; how should the stars be seen? 001:07,059@a | Thus, when Dorinda wept, joy every face forsook, 001:07,060@a | And grief hung sables on each menial look; 001:07,061@a | The humble tribe mourned for the quickening soul, 001:07,062@a | That furnished spirit and motion through the whole; 001:07,063@a | So would earth's face turn pale, and life decay, 001:07,064@a | Should heaven suspend to act but for a day; 001:07,065@a | So nature's crazed convulsions make us dread 001:07,066@a | That time is sick, or the world's mind is dead. ~~ 001:07,067@a | Take youth, these thoughts, large matter to employ 001:07,068@a | The fancy furnished by returning joy; 001:07,069@a | And to mistaken men these truths rehearse, 001:07,070@a | Who dare revile the integrity of verse: 001:07,071@a | Ah favourite youth, how happy is thy lot! ~~ 001:07,072@a | But I'm deceived, or thou regard'st me not; 001:07,073@a | Speak, for I wait thy answer, and expect 001:07,074@a | Thy just submission for this bold neglect."" 001:07,075[A ]| Unknown the forms we the high priesthood use 001:07,076[A ]| At the divine appearance of the muse, 001:07,077[A ]| Which to divulge might shake profane belief, 001:07,078[A ]| And tell the irreligion of my grief; 001:07,079[A ]| Grief that excused the tribute of my knees, 001:07,080[A ]| And shaped my passion in such words as these. 001:07,081[A ]| Malignant goddess! bane to my repose, 001:07,082[A ]| Thou universal cause of all my woes; 001:07,083[A ]| Say, whence it comes that thou art grown of late 001:07,084[A ]| A poor amusement for my scorn and hate; 001:07,085[A ]| The malice thou inspirest I never fail 001:07,086[A ]| On thee to wreak the tribute when I rail; 001:07,087[A ]| Fools' commonplace thou art, their weak ensconcing fort, 001:07,088[A ]| The appeal of dullness in the last resort: 001:07,089[A ]| Heaven with a parent's eye regarding earth, 001:07,090[A ]| Deals out to man the planet of his birth; 001:07,091[A ]| But sees thy meteor blaze about me shine, 001:07,092[A ]| And, passing o'er, mistakes thee still for mine: 001:07,093[A ]| Ah, should I tell a secret yet unknown, 001:07,094[A ]| That thou ne'er hadst a being of thy own, 001:07,095[A ]| But a wild form dependent on the brain, 001:07,096[A ]| Scattering loose features o'er the optic vein; 001:07,097[A ]| Troubling the crystal fountain of the sight, 001:07,098[A ]| Which darts on poets' eyes a trembling light; 001:07,099[A ]| Kindled while reason sleeps, but quickly flies, 001:07,100[A ]| Like antic shapes in dreams, from waking eyes: 001:07,101[A ]| In sum, a glittering voice, a painted name, 001:07,102[A ]| A walking vapour, like thy sister Fame. 001:07,103[A ]| But if thou be'st what thy mad votaries prate, 001:07,104[A ]| A female power, loose-governed thoughts create; 001:07,105[A ]| Why near the dregs of youth perversely wilt thou stay, 001:07,106[A ]| So highly courted by the brisk and gay? 001:07,107[A ]| Wert thou right woman, thou shouldst scorn to look 001:07,108[A ]| On an abandoned wretch by hopes forsook; 001:07,109[A ]| Forsook by hopes, ill fortune's last relief, 001:07,110[A ]| Assigned for life to unremitting grief; 001:07,111[A ]| For, let heaven's wreath enlarge these weary days, 001:07,112[A ]| If hope e'er dawns the smallest of its rays, 001:07,113[A ]| Time o'er the happy takes so swift a flight, 001:07,114[A ]| And treads so soft, so easy, and so light, 001:07,115[A ]| That we the wretched, creeping far behind, 001:07,116[A ]| Can scarce the impression of his footsteps find; 001:07,117[A ]| Smooth as that airy nymph so subtly borne 001:07,118[A ]| With inoffensive feet o'er standing corn; 001:07,119[A ]| Which bowed by evening breeze with bending stalks, 001:07,120[A ]| Salutes the weary traveller as he walks; 001:07,121[A ]| But o'er the afflicted with a heavy pace 001:07,122[A ]| Sweeps the broad scythe, and tramples on his face. 001:07,123[A ]| Down falls the summer's pride, and sadly shows 001:07,124[A ]| Nature's bare visage furrowed as he mows; 001:07,125[A ]| See muse, what havoc in these looks appear, 001:07,126[A ]| These are the tyrant's trophies of a year; 001:07,127[A ]| Since hope his last and greatest foe is fled, 001:07,128[A ]| Despair and he lodge ever in its stead; 001:07,129[A ]| March o'er the ruined plain with motion slow, 001:07,130[A ]| Still scattering desolation where they go. 001:07,131[A ]| To thee I owe that fatal bent of mind, 001:07,132[A ]| Still to unhappy restless thoughts inclined; 001:07,133[A ]| To thee, what oft I vainly strive to hide, 001:07,134[A ]| That scorn of fools, by fools mistook for pride; 001:07,135[A ]| From thee whatever virtue takes its rise, 001:07,136[A ]| Grows a misfortune, or becomes a vice; 001:07,137[A ]| Such were thy rules to be poetically great, 001:07,138[A ]| ""Stoop not to interest, flattery, or deceit; 001:07,139[A ]| Nor with hired thoughts be thy devotion paid; 001:07,140[A ]| Learn to disdain their mercenary aid; 001:07,141[A ]| Be this thy sure defence, thy brazen wall, 001:07,142[A ]| Know no base action, at no guilt turn pale; 001:07,143[A ]| And since unhappy distance thus denies 001:07,144[A ]| To expose thy soul, clad in this poor disguise; 001:07,145[A ]| Since thy few ill-presented graces seem 001:07,146[A ]| To breed contempt where thou hast hoped esteem"" ~~ 001:07,147[A ]| Madness like this no fancy ever seized, 001:07,148[A ]| Still to be cheated, never to be pleased; 001:07,149[A ]| Since one false beam of joy in sickly minds 001:07,150[A ]| Is all the poor content delusion finds. ~~ 001:07,151[A ]| There thy enchantment broke, and from this hour 001:07,152[A ]| I here renounce thy visionary power; 001:07,153[A ]| And since thy essence on my breath depends, 001:07,154[A ]| Thus with a puff the whole delusion ends. 001:08,000[' ]| 001:08,001[A ]| This pile was raised by Wolsey's impious hands, 001:08,002[A ]| Built with the church's patrimonial lands. 001:08,003[A ]| Here bloody Henry kept his cruel court, 001:08,004[A ]| Hence sprung the martyrdoms of every sort. 001:08,005[A ]| Weak Edward here, and Mary the bigot, 001:08,006[A ]| Did both their holy innovations plot. 001:08,007[A ]| A fiercer Tudor filled the churchman's seat 001:08,008[A ]| In all her father's attributes complete. 001:08,009[A ]| Dudley's lewd life doth the white mansion stain 001:08,010[A ]| And a slain guest obscures a glorious reign. 001:08,011[A ]| Then northern James dishonoured every room 001:08,012[A ]| With filth and palliardism brought from home. 001:08,013[A ]| Next the French consort dignified the stews, 001:08,014[A ]| Employing males to their first proper use. 001:08,015[A ]| A bold usurper next did domineer, 001:08,016[A ]| Whirled hence by the angry demons of the air. 001:08,017[A ]| When sauntering Charles returned, a fulsome crew 001:08,018[A ]| Of parasites, buffoons, he with him drew; 001:08,019[A ]| Nay worse than these fill the polluted hall, 001:08,020[A ]| Bawds, pimps and pandars the detested squall 001:08,021[A ]| Of riots, fancied rapes, the devil and all. 001:08,022[A ]| This pious prince here too did breathe his last, 001:08,023[A ]| His certain death on different persons cast. 001:08,024[A ]| His wise successor brought a motley throng, 001:08,025[A ]| Despising right, strongly protecting wrong, 001:08,026[A ]| To these assistant herds of preaching cowls 001:08,027[A ]| And troops of noisy senseless fools. 001:08,028[A ]| Guerdon for this: he heard the dread command, 001:08,029@b | ""Embark and leave your native land ~~ "" 001:08,030[A ]| He gone, the rank infection still remains, 001:08,031[A ]| Which to repel requires eternal pains. 001:08,032[A ]| No force to cleanse it can a river draw, 001:08,033[A ]| Nor Hercules could do it, nor great Nassau. 001:08,034[A ]| Most greedy financiers, and lavish too, 001:08,035[A ]| Swarm in, in spite of all that prince could do, 001:08,036[A ]| Projectors, peculates the palace hold, 001:08,037[A ]| Patriots exchanging liberty for gold, 001:08,038[A ]| Monsters unknown to this blessed land of old. 001:08,039[A ]| Heaven takes the cure in hand, celestial ire 001:08,040[A ]| Applies the oft-tried remedy of fire; 001:08,041[A ]| The purging flames were better far employed, 001:08,042[A ]| Than when old Sodom was, or Troynovant destroyed. 001:08,043[A ]| The nest obscene of every pampered vice, 001:08,044[A ]| Sinks down of this infernal paradise, 001:08,045[A ]| Down come the lofty roofs, the cedar burns, 001:08,046[A ]| The blended metal to a torrent turns. 001:08,047[A ]| The carvings crackle and the marbles rive, 001:08,048[A ]| The paintings shrink, vainly the Henrys strive, 001:08,049[A ]| Propped by great Holbein's pencil, down they fall, 001:08,050[A ]| The fiery deluge sweeps and swallows all. 001:08,051[A ]| But mark how providence with watchful care, 001:08,052[A ]| Did Inigo's famed building spare, 001:08,053[A ]| That theatre produced an action truly great, 001:08,054[A ]| On which eternal acclamations wait, 001:08,055[A ]| Of kings deposed, most faithful annals tell, 001:08,056[A ]| And slaughtered monarchs would a volume swell. 001:08,057[A ]| Our happy chronicle can show alone 001:08,058[A ]| On this day tyrants executed ~~ one. 001:09,000[' ]| 001:09,001[A ]| Peruse my leaves through every part, 001:09,002[A ]| And think thou seest my owner's heart; 001:09,003[A ]| Scrawled o'er with trifles thus; and quite 001:09,004[A ]| As hard, as senseless, and as light: 001:09,005[A ]| Exposed to every coxcomb's eyes, 001:09,006[A ]| But hid with caution from the wise. 001:09,007[A ]| Here may you read, ""Dear charming saint"", 001:09,008[A ]| Beneath ""A new receipt for paint."" 001:09,009[A ]| Here, in beau-spelling, ""tru tel death."" 001:09,010[A ]| There, in her own, ""far an el breath."" 001:09,011[A ]| Here, ""lovely nymph pronounce my doom."" 001:09,012[A ]| There, ""a safe way to use perfume."" 001:09,013[A ]| Here, a page filled with billet-doux; 001:09,014[A ]| On t'other side, ""laid out for shoes. 001:09,015[A ]| (Madam, I die without your Grace.) 001:09,016[A ]| \Item\, for half a yard of lace."" 001:09,017[A ]| Who that had wit would place it here, 001:09,018[A ]| For every peeping fop to jeer? 001:09,019[A ]| In power of spittle and a clout, 001:09,020[A ]| Whene'er he please, to blot it out; 001:09,021[A ]| And then to heighten the disgrace, 001:09,022[A ]| Clap his own nonsense in the place. 001:09,023[A ]| Whoe'er expects to hold his part 001:09,024[A ]| In such a book, and such a heart, 001:09,025[A ]| If he be wealthy, and a fool, 001:09,026[A ]| Is in all points the fittest tool; 001:09,027[A ]| Of whom it may be justly said, 001:09,028[A ]| He's a \gold\ pencil tipped with \lead\. 001:10,000[' ]| 001:10,001[A ]| Did ever problem thus perplex, 001:10,002[A ]| Or more employ the female sex? 001:10,003[A ]| So sweet a passion, who would think, 001:10,004[A ]| Jove ever formed to make a stink? 001:10,005[A ]| The ladies vow and swear they'll try, 001:10,006[A ]| Whether it be a truth or lie. 001:10,007[A ]| Love's fire, it seems, like inward heat, 001:10,008[A ]| Works in my Lord by stool and sweat: 001:10,009[A ]| Which brings a stink from every pore, 001:10,010[A ]| And from behind, and from before: 001:10,011[A ]| Yet, what is wonderful to tell it, 001:10,012[A ]| None but the favourite nymph can smell it. 001:10,013[A ]| But now to solve the natural cause 001:10,014[A ]| By sober philosophic laws: 001:10,015[A ]| Whether all passions when in ferment, 001:10,016[A ]| Work out, as anger does in vermin? 001:10,017[A ]| So, when a weasel you torment, 001:10,018[A ]| You find his passion by his scent. 001:10,019[A ]| We read of kings, who in a fright, 001:10,020[A ]| Though on a throne, would fall to shite. 001:10,021[A ]| Beside all this deep scholars know, 001:10,022[A ]| That the mainstring of Cupid's bow, 001:10,023[A ]| Once on a time, was an ass's gut, 001:10,024[A ]| Now to a nobler office put, 001:10,025[A ]| By favour or desert preferred 001:10,026[A ]| From giving passage to a turd. 001:10,027[A ]| But still, though fixed among the stars, 001:10,028[A ]| Doth sympathize with human arse. 001:10,029[A ]| Thus, when you feel an hard-bound breech, 001:10,030[A ]| Conclude Love's bow-string at full stretch, 001:10,031[A ]| Till the kind looseness comes, and then 001:10,032[A ]| Conclude the bow relaxed again 001:10,033[A ]| And now the ladies all are bent 001:10,034[A ]| To try the great experiment; 001:10,035[A ]| Ambitious of a regent's heart, 001:10,036[A ]| Spread all their charms to catch a fart! 001:10,037[A ]| Watching the first unsavoury wind, 001:10,038[A ]| Some ply before and some behind. 001:10,039[A ]| My Lord, on fire amidst the dames, 001:10,040[A ]| Farts like a laurel in the flames. 001:10,041[A ]| The fair approach the speaking part, 001:10,042[A ]| To try the back way to his heart. 001:10,043[A ]| For, as when we a gun discharge, 001:10,044[A ]| Although the bore be ne'er so large, 001:10,045[A ]| Before the flame from muzzle burst, 001:10,046[A ]| Just at the breech it flashes first: 001:10,047[A ]| So from my Lord his passion broke, 001:10,048[A ]| He farted first, and then he spoke. 001:10,049[A ]| The ladies vanish in the smother, 001:10,050[A ]| To confer notes with one another: 001:10,051[A ]| And now they all agree to name 001:10,052[A ]| Whom each one thought the happy dame. 001:10,053[A ]| Quoth Neal, 001:10,053@c | ""Whate'er the rest may think, 001:10,054@c | I'm sure 'twas I that smelt the stink."" 001:10,055@d | ""You smelt the stink! By God, you lie,"" 001:10,056[A ]| Quoth Ross, 001:10,056@d | ""for I'll be sworn 'twas I."" 001:10,057@e | ""Ladies,"" 001:10,057[A ]| quoth Levens, 001:10,057@e | ""pray forbear, 001:10,058@e | Let's not fall out, we all had share; 001:10,059@e | And, by the most I can discover, 001:10,060@e | My Lord's an universal lover."" 001:11,000[' ]| 001:11,001[A ]| When wise Lord*Berkeley first came here, 001:11,002[A ]| We Irish folks expected wonders, 001:11,003[A ]| Nor thought to find so great a peer 001:11,004[A ]| E'er a week passed committing blunders: 001:11,005[A ]| Till on a day cut out by fate, 001:11,006[A ]| When folks came thick to make their court, 001:11,007[A ]| Out slipped a mystery of state 001:11,008[A ]| To give the town and country sport. 001:11,009[A ]| Now enter Bushe with new state-airs, 001:11,010[A ]| His Lordship's premier*ministre, 001:11,011[A ]| And who in all profound affairs 001:11,012[A ]| Is held as needful as his clyster. 001:11,013[A ]| With head reclining on his shoulder, 001:11,014[A ]| He deals and hears mysterious chat, 001:11,015[A ]| While every ignorant beholder 001:11,016[A ]| Asks of his neighbour, 001:11,016@x | ""Who is that?"" 001:11,017[A ]| With this he put up to my Lord, 001:11,018[A ]| The courtiers kept their distance due, 001:11,019[A ]| He twitched his sleeve, and stole a word, 001:11,020[A ]| Then to a corner both withdrew. 001:11,021[A ]| Imagine now my lord and Bushe 001:11,022[A ]| Whispering in junto most profound, 001:11,023[A ]| Like good King*Phiz and good King*Ush, 001:11,024[A ]| While all the rest stood gaping round. 001:11,025[A ]| At length, a spark not too well bred, 001:11,026[A ]| Of forward face, and ear acute, 001:11,027[A ]| Advanced on tiptoe, leaned his head 001:11,028[A ]| To overhear the grand dispute. 001:11,029[A ]| To learn what northern kings design, 001:11,030[A ]| Or from Whitehall some new express, 001:11,031[A ]| Papists disarmed, or fall of coin, 001:11,032[A ]| For sure (thought he) it can't be less. 001:11,033@c | ""My Lord"", 001:11,033[A ]| said Bushe, 001:11,033@c | ""a friend and I 001:11,034@c | Disguised in two old threadbare coats 001:11,035@c | Ere morning's dawn stole out to spy 001:11,036@c | How markets went for hay and oats."" 001:11,037[A ]| With that he draws two handfuls out, 001:11,038[A ]| The one was oats, the other hay, 001:11,039[A ]| Puts this to's Excellency's snout, 001:11,040[A ]| And begs he would the other weigh. 001:11,041[A ]| My Lords seems pleased, but still directs 001:11,042[A ]| By all means to bring down the rates, 001:11,043[A ]| Then with a congee circumflex 001:11,044[A ]| Bushe, smiling round on all, retreats. 001:11,045[A ]| Our listener stood a while confused, 001:11,046[A ]| But gathering spirits wisely ran for't, 001:11,047[A ]| Enraged to see the world abused 001:11,048[A ]| By two such whispering Kings of Brentford. 001:12,000[' ]| 001:12,000[A ]| To their Excellencies the Lords*Justices*of*Ireland. 001:12,000[A ]| The humble petition of Frances*Harris, 001:12,000[A ]| Who must starve, and die a maid if it miscarries. 001:12,000[A ]| \Humbly showeth\ 001:12,001[A ]| That I went to warm myself in Lady*Betty's chamber, because I 001:12,001[A ]| was cold, 001:12,002[A ]| And I had in a purse seven pound, four shillings and sixpence 001:12,002[A ]| (besides farthings) in money and gold; 001:12,003[A ]| So because I had been buying things for my Lady last night, 001:12,004[A ]| I was resolved to tell my money, to see if it was right. 001:12,005[A ]| Now you must know, because my trunk has a very bad lock, 001:12,006[A ]| Therefore all the money I have (which, God knows, is a very small 001:12,006[A ]| stock) 001:12,007[A ]| I keep in my pocket tied about my middle, next my smock. 001:12,008[A ]| So, when I went to put up my purse, as God would have it, my 001:12,008[A ]| smock was unripped; 001:12,009[A ]| And, instead of putting it into my pocket, down it slipped: 001:12,010[A ]| Then the bell rung, and I went down to put my Lady to bed; 001:12,011[A ]| And, God knows, I thought my money was as safe as my 001:12,011[A ]| maidenhead. 001:12,012[A ]| So, when I came up again, I found my pocket feel very light, 001:12,013[A ]| But when I searched, and missed my purse, Lord! I thought I 001:12,013[A ]| should have sunk outright: 001:12,014@c | Lord! Madam, 001:12,014[A ]| said Mary, 001:12,014@c | how d'ye do? 001:12,014@a | Indeed, 001:12,014[A ]| said I, 001:12,014@a | never 001:12,014@a | worse; 001:12,015@a | But pray, Mary, can you tell what I have done with my purse? 001:12,016@c | Lord help me, 001:12,016[A ]| said Mary, 001:12,016@c | I never stirred out of this place! 001:12,017@a | Nay, 001:12,017[A ]| said I, 001:12,017@a | I had it in Lady*Betty's chamber, that's the plain case. 001:12,018[A ]| So Mary got me to bed, and covered me up warm, 001:12,019[A ]| However, she stole away my garters, that I might do myself no 001:12,019[A ]| harm. 001:12,020[A ]| So I tumbled and tossed all night, as you may very well think; 001:12,021[A ]| But hardly ever set my eyes together, or slept a wink. 001:12,022[A ]| So I was a-dreamed, methought, that we went and searched the 001:12,022[A ]| folks round; 001:12,023[A ]| And in a corner of Mrs*Duke's box, tied in a rag, the money was 001:12,023[A ]| found. 001:12,024[A ]| So next morning we told Whittle, and he fell a-swearing; 001:12,025[A ]| Then my Dame*Wadgar came, and she, you know, is thick of 001:12,025[A ]| hearing: 001:12,026@a | Dame 001:12,026[A ]| said I, as loud as I could bawl, 001:12,026@a | do you know what a loss I 001:12,026@a | have had? 001:12,027@d | Nay, 001:12,027[A ]| said she, 001:12,027@d | my Lord*Collway's folks are all very sad, 001:12,028@d | For my Lord*Dromedary comes a Tuesday without fail; 001:12,029@a | Pugh, 001:12,029[A ]| said I, 001:12,029@a | but that's not the business that I ail. 001:12,030[A ]| Says Cary, says he, 001:12,030@e | I have been a servant this five and twenty 001:12,030@e | years, come spring, 001:12,031@e | And in all the places I lived, I never heard of such a thing. 001:12,032@f | Yes, 001:12,032[A ]| says the steward, 001:12,032@f | I remember when I was in my Lady*Shrewsbury's, 001:12,033@f | Such a thing as this happened, just about the time of gooseberries. 001:12,034[A ]| So I went to the party suspected, and I found her full of grief; 001:12,035[A ]| (Now you must know, of all things in the world, I hate a thief.) 001:12,036[A ]| However, I was resolved to bring the discourse slily about, 001:12,037@a | Mrs*Dukes, 001:12,037[A ]| said I, 001:12,037@a | here's an ugly accident has happened out; 001:12,038@a | 'Tis not that I value the money three skips of a louse; 001:12,039@a | But the thing I stand upon, is the credit of the house; 001:12,040@a | 'Tis true, seven pound, four shillings, and six pence, makes a great 001:12,040@a | hole in my wages; 001:12,041@a | Besides, as they say, service is no inheritance in these ages. 001:12,042@a | Now, Mrs*Dukes, you know, and everybody understands, 001:12,043@a | That though 'tis hard to judge, yet money can't go without hands. 001:12,044@g | The Devil take me, 001:12,044[A ]| said she (blessing herself), 001:12,044@g | if ever I saw't! 001:12,045[A ]| So she roared like a Bedlam, as though I had called her all to 001:12,045[A ]| naught; 001:12,046[A ]| So you know, what could I say to her any more: 001:12,047[A ]| I e'en left her, and came away as wise as I was before. 001:12,048[A ]| Well: but then they would have had me gone to the cunning-man; 001:12,049@a | No, 001:12,049[A ]| said I, 001:12,049@a | 'tis the same thing, the chaplain will be here anon. 001:12,050[A ]| So the chaplain came in. Now the servants say he is my sweetheart, 001:12,051[A ]| Because he's always in my chamber, and I always take his part; 001:12,052[A ]| So, as the Devil would have it, before I was aware, out I 001:12,052[A ]| blundered, 001:12,053@a | Parson, 001:12,053[A ]| said I, 001:12,053@a | can you cast a nativity, when a body's plundered? 001:12,054[A ]| (Now you must know, he hates to be called ""Parson"" like the devil.) 001:12,055@h | Truly, 001:12,055[A ]| says he, 001:12,055@h | Mrs*Nab, it might become you to be more civil: 001:12,056@h | If your money be gone, as a learned divine says, d'ye see, 001:12,057@h | You are no text for my handling, so take that from me; 001:12,058@h | I was never taken for a conjuror before, I'd have you to know. 001:12,059@a | Lord, 001:12,059[A ]| said I, 001:12,059@a | don't be angry, I am sure I never thought you so; 001:12,060@a | You know, I honour the cloth, I design to be a parson's wife, 001:12,061@a | I never took one in your coat for a conjuror in all my life. 001:12,062[A ]| With that, he twisted his girdle at me like a rope, as who should 001:12,062[A ]| say, 001:12,063[A ]| Now you may go hang yourself for me, and so went away. 001:12,064[A ]| Well; I thought I should have swooned: 001:12,064@a | Lord, 001:12,064[A ]| said I, 001:12,064@a | what shall I 001:12,064@a | do? 001:12,065@a | I have lost my money; and I shall lose my true-love too. 001:12,066[A ]| So, my Lord called me; 001:12,066@i | Harry, 001:12,066[A ]| said my Lord, 001:12,066@i | don't cry, 001:12,067@i | I'll give something towards thy loss; 001:12,067@j | and 001:12,067[A ]| says my Lady, 001:12,067@j | so will I. 001:12,068@a | Oh but, 001:12,068[A ]| said I, 001:12,068@a | what if after all, the chaplain won't come to? 001:12,069@i | For that, 001:12,069[A ]| he said, 001:12,069@i | (an't please your Excellencies) I must petition 001:12,069@i | you. 001:12,070[A ]| The premises tenderly considered, I desire your Excellencies' 001:12,070[A ]| protection, 001:12,071[A ]| And that I may have a share in next Sunday's collection: 001:12,072[A ]| And over and above, that I may have your Excellencies' letter 001:12,073[A ]| With an order for the chaplain aforesaid; or instead of him, a 001:12,073[A ]| better. 001:12,074[A ]| And then your poor petitioner, both night and day, 001:12,075[A ]| Or the chaplain (for 'tis his trade) as in duty bound, shall ever 001:12,075[A ]| pray. 001:13,000[' ]| 001:13,001[A ]| My Lord to find out who must deal 001:13,002[A ]| Delivers cards about, 001:13,003[A ]| But the first knave does seldom fail 001:13,004[A ]| To find the Doctor out. 001:13,005[A ]| But then his Honour cried, 001:13,005@c | ""Gadzooks!"" 001:13,006[A ]| And seemed to knit his brow; 001:13,007[A ]| For on a knave he never looks 001:13,008[A ]| But h'thinks upon Jack*Howe. 001:13,009[A ]| My Lady though she is no player 001:13,010[A ]| Some bungling partner takes, 001:13,011[A ]| And wedged in corner of a chair 001:13,012[A ]| Takes snuff, and holds the stakes. 001:13,013[A ]| Dame*Floyd looks out in grave suspense 001:13,014[A ]| For pair-royals and sequents; 001:13,015[A ]| But wisely cautious of her pence, 001:13,016[A ]| The castle seldom frequents. 001:13,017[A ]| Quoth Herries, fairly putting cases, 001:13,018@d | ""I'd won it on my word, 001:13,019@d | If I had but a pair of aces, 001:13,020@d | And could pick up a third."" 001:13,021[A ]| But Weston has a new-cast gown 001:13,022[A ]| On Sundays to be fine in, 001:13,023[A ]| And if she can but win a crown, 001:13,024[A ]| 'Twill just new dye the lining. 001:13,025[A ]| \With these is Parson*Swift,\ 001:13,026[A ]| \Not knowing how to spend his time,\ 001:13,027[A ]| \Does make a wretched shift,\ 001:13,028[A ]| \To deafen 'em with puns and rhyme.\ 001:14,000[' ]| 001:14,000[' ]| 001:14,001[A ]| Once on a time, as old stories rehearse, 001:14,002[A ]| A friar would needs show his talent in Latin; 001:14,003[A ]| But was sorely put to't in the midst of a verse, 001:14,004[A ]| Because he could find no word to come pat in. 001:14,005[A ]| Then all in the place 001:14,006[A ]| He left a void space, 001:14,007[A ]| And so went to bed in a desperate case. 001:14,008[A ]| When behold the next morning, a wonderful riddle, 001:14,009[A ]| He found it was strangely filled up in the middle. 001:14,000[' ]| 001:14,010[B ]| Let censuring critics then think what they list on't, 001:14,011[B ]| Who would not write verses with such an assistant 001:14,000[' ]| 001:14,012[A ]| This put me the friar into an amazement; 001:14,013[A ]| For he wisely considered it must be a sprite, 001:14,014[A ]| That came through the keyhole, or in at the casement, 001:14,015[A ]| And it needs must be one that could both read and write: 001:14,016[A ]| Yet he did not know 001:14,017[A ]| If it were friend or foe, 001:14,018[A ]| Or whether it came from above or below. 001:14,019[A ]| How'er, it was civil in angel or elf, 001:14,020[A ]| For he ne'er could have filled it so well of himself. 001:14,000[' ]| 001:14,021[B ]| Let censuring \etc.\ 001:14,000[' ]| 001:14,022[A ]| Even so Master Doctor had puzzled his brains 001:14,023[A ]| In making a ballad, but was at a stand, 001:14,024[A ]| He had mixed little wit with a great deal of pains; 001:14,025[A ]| When he found a new help from invisible hand. 001:14,026[A ]| Then good Dr*Swift 001:14,027[A ]| Pay thanks for the gift, 001:14,028[A ]| For you freely must own you were at a dead lift; 001:14,029[A ]| And though some malicious young spirit did do't, 001:14,030[A ]| You may know by the \hand\, it had no cloven \foot\. 001:14,000[' ]| 001:14,031[B ]| Let censuring \etc.\ 001:15,000[' ]| 001:15,000[' ]| 001:15,001[A ]| As mastiff dogs in modern phrase are 001:15,002[A ]| Called Pompey, Scipio, and Caesar; 001:15,003[A ]| As pies and daws are often styled 001:15,004[A ]| With Christian nicknames like a child; 001:15,005[A ]| As we say ""\9Monsieur\"" to an ape 001:15,006[A ]| Without offence to human shape: 001:15,007[A ]| So men have got from bird and brute 001:15,008[A ]| Names that would best their natures suit: 001:15,009[A ]| The lion, eagle, fox and boar 001:15,010[A ]| Were heroes' title heretofore, 001:15,011[A ]| Bestowed as hieroglyphics fit 001:15,012[A ]| To show their valour, strength or wit. 001:15,013[A ]| For what is understood by fame 001:15,014[A ]| Besides the getting of a name? 001:15,015[A ]| But e'er since men invented guns, 001:15,016[A ]| A different way their fancy runs: 001:15,017[A ]| To paint a hero, we inquire 001:15,018[A ]| For something that will conquer fire. 001:15,019[A ]| Would you describe Turenne or Trump, 001:15,020[A ]| Think of a bucket or a pump. 001:15,021[A ]| Are these too low? Then find out grander, 001:15,022[A ]| Call my Lord*Cutts a salamander. 001:15,023[A ]| 'Tis well: but since we live among 001:15,024[A ]| Detractors with an evil tongue, 001:15,025[A ]| Who may object against the term, 001:15,026[A ]| Pliny shall prove what we affirm: 001:15,027[A ]| Pliny shall prove, and we'll apply, 001:15,028[A ]| And I'll be judged by standers-by. 001:15,029[A ]| First then, our author has defined 001:15,030[A ]| This reptile, of the serpent kind, 001:15,031[A ]| With gaudy coat, and shining train, 001:15,032[A ]| But loathsome spots his body stain: 001:15,033[A ]| Out from some hole obscure he flies 001:15,034[A ]| When rains descend, and tempests rise, 001:15,035[A ]| Till the sun clears the air; and then 001:15,036[A ]| Crawls back, neglected, to his den. 001:15,037[A ]| So when the war has raised a storm 001:15,038[A ]| I've seen a snake in human form, 001:15,039[A ]| All stained with infamy and vice, 001:15,040[A ]| Leap from the dunghill in a trice; 001:15,041[A ]| Burnish and make a gaudy show, 001:15,042[A ]| Become a general, peer and beau, 001:15,043[A ]| Till peace hathmade the sky serene, 001:15,044[A ]| Then shrink into its hole again. 001:15,045[A ]| All this we grant ~~ why, then look yonder, 001:15,046[A ]| Sure that must be a salamander! 001:15,047[A ]| Farther we are by Pliny told, 001:15,048[A ]| This serpent is extremely cold; 001:15,049[A ]| So cold, that put it in the fire, 001:15,050[A ]| 'Twill make the very flames expire: 001:15,051[A ]| Besides, it spews a filthy froth, 001:15,052[A ]| (Whether through rage, or lust, or both) 001:15,053[A ]| Of matter purulent and white, 001:15,054[A ]| Which happening on the skin to light, 001:15,055[A ]| And there corrupting to a wound, 001:15,056[A ]| Spreads leprosy and baldness round. 001:15,057[A ]| So have I seen a battered beau 001:15,058[A ]| By age and claps grown cold as snow, 001:15,059[A ]| Whose breath or touch, where'er he came, 001:15,060[A ]| Blew out love's torch, or chilled the flame: 001:15,061[A ]| And should some nymph who ne'er was cruel, 001:15,062[A ]| Like Carleton cheap, or famed Du*Ruel, 001:15,063[A ]| Receive the filth which he ejects; 001:15,064[A ]| She soon would find the same effects, 001:15,065[A ]| Her tainted carcass to pursue, 001:15,066[A ]| As from the salamander's spew: 001:15,067[A ]| A dismal shedding of her locks 001:15,068[A ]| And, if no leprosy, a pox. 001:15,069[A ]| Then I'll appeal to each bystander, 001:15,070[A ]| If this be not a salamander? 001:16,000[' ]| 001:16,001[A ]| When Mother*Clud had rose from play, 001:16,002[A ]| And called to take the cards away; 001:16,003[A ]| Van saw, but seemed not to regard, 001:16,004[A ]| How Miss picked every painted card; 001:16,005[A ]| And busy both with hand and eye, 001:16,006[A ]| Soon reared a house two storeys high; 001:16,007[A ]| Van's genius, without thought or lecture, 001:16,008[A ]| Is hugely turned to architecture: 001:16,009[A ]| He saw the edifice, and smiled, 001:16,010[A ]| Vowed it was pretty for a child: 001:16,011[A ]| It was so perfect in its kind, 001:16,012[A ]| He kept the model in his mind. 001:16,013[A ]| But when he found the boys at play, 001:16,014[A ]| And saw them dabbling in the clay; 001:16,015[A ]| He stood behind a stall to lurk, 001:16,016[A ]| And mark the progress of their work: 001:16,017[A ]| With true delight observed 'em all 001:16,018[A ]| Raking up mud to build a wall; 001:16,019[A ]| The plan he much admired, and took 001:16,020[A ]| The model in his table-book; 001:16,021[A ]| Thought himself now exactly skilled, 001:16,022[A ]| And so resolved a house to build: 001:16,023[A ]| A real house, with rooms and stairs, 001:16,024[A ]| Five times at least as big as theirs, 001:16,025[A ]| Taller than Miss's by two yards; 001:16,026[A ]| Not a sham thing of clay or cards. 001:16,027[A ]| And so he did; for in a while 001:16,028[A ]| He built up such a monstrous pile, 001:16,029[A ]| That no two chairmen could be found 001:16,030[A ]| Able to lift it from the ground; 001:16,031[A ]| Still at Whitehall it stands in view, 001:16,032[A ]| Just in the place where it first grew: 001:16,033[A ]| There all the little schoolboys run 001:16,034[A ]| Envying to see themselves outdone. 001:16,035[A ]| From such deep rudiments as these 001:16,036[A ]| Van is become by due degrees 001:16,037[A ]| For building famed, and justly reckoned 001:16,038[A ]| At court, Vitruvius the second. 001:16,039[A ]| No wonder, since wise authors show, 001:16,040[A ]| That best foundations must be low. 001:16,041[A ]| And now the Duke has wisely taken him 001:16,042[A ]| To be his architect at Blenheim. 001:16,043[A ]| But raillery for once apart, 001:16,044[A ]| If this rule holds in every art, 001:16,045[A ]| Or if his Grace were no more skilled in 001:16,046[A ]| The art of battering walls than building; 001:16,047[A ]| We might expect to see next year 001:16,048[A ]| A mousetrap-man chief engineer. 001:17,000[' ]| 001:17,001[A ]| The Queen has lately lost a part 001:17,002[A ]| Of her entirely English heart, 001:17,003[A ]| For want of which by way of botch, 001:17,004[A ]| She pieced it up again with Scotch. 001:17,005[A ]| Blessed revolution, which creates 001:17,006[A ]| Divided hearts, united states. 001:17,007[A ]| See how the double nation lies; 001:17,008[A ]| Like a rich coat with skirts of frieze: 001:17,009[A ]| As if a man in making posies 001:17,010[A ]| Should bundle thistles up with roses. 001:17,011[A ]| Whoever yet a union saw 001:17,012[A ]| Of kingdoms, without faith or law. 001:17,013[A ]| Henceforward let no statesman dare, 001:17,014[A ]| A kingdom to a ship compare; 001:17,015[A ]| Lest he should call our commonweal, 001:17,016[A ]| A vessel with a double keel: 001:17,017[A ]| Which just like ours, new rigged and manned, 001:17,018[A ]| And got about a league from land, 001:17,019[A ]| By change of wind to leeward side 001:17,020[A ]| The pilot knew not how to guide. 001:17,021[A ]| So tossing faction will o'erwhelm 001:17,022[A ]| Our crazy double-bottomed realm. 001:18,000[' ]| 001:18,000[' ]| 001:18,001[A ]| Well, 'tis as Bickerstaff had guessed, 001:18,002[A ]| Though we all took it for a jest: 001:18,003[A ]| Partridge is dead, nay more, he died 001:18,004[A ]| E'er he could prove the good squire lied. 001:18,005[A ]| Strange, an astrologer should die, 001:18,006[A ]| Without one wonder in the sky; 001:18,007[A ]| Not one of all his crony stars, 001:18,008[A ]| To pay their duty at his hearse? 001:18,009[A ]| No meteor, no eclipse appeared? 001:18,010[A ]| No comet with a flaming beard? 001:18,011[A ]| The run has rose, and gone to bed, 001:18,012[A ]| Just as if Partridge were not dead: 001:18,013[A ]| Nor hid himself behind the moon, 001:18,014[A ]| To make a dreadful night at noon: 001:18,015[A ]| He at fit periods walks through Aries, 001:18,016[A ]| Howe'er our earthly motion varies, 001:18,017[A ]| And twice a year he'll cut the Equator, 001:18,018[A ]| As if there had been no such matter. 001:18,019[A ]| Some wits have wondered what analogy 001:18,020[A ]| There is 'twixt cobbling and astrology; 001:18,021[A ]| How Partridge made his optics rise, 001:18,022[A ]| From a shoe-sole to reach the skies. 001:18,023[A ]| A list the cobblers' temples ties, 001:18,024[A ]| To keep the hair out of their eyes; 001:18,025[A ]| From whence 'tis plain the diadem 001:18,026[A ]| That princes wear, derives from them; 001:18,027[A ]| And therefore crowns are nowadays 001:18,028[A ]| Adorned with golden stars and rays; 001:18,029[A ]| Which plainly shows the near alliance 001:18,030[A ]| Betwixt cobbling and the planet's science. 001:18,031[A ]| Besides, that slow-paced sign Boo+tes, 001:18,032[A ]| As 'tis miscalled, we know not who 'tis; 001:18,033[A ]| But Partridge ended all disputes, 001:18,034[A ]| He knew his trade, and called it boots. 001:18,035[A ]| The horne=d moon, which heretofore 001:18,036[A ]| Upon their shoes the Romans wore, 001:18,037[A ]| Whose wideness kept their toes from corns, 001:18,038[A ]| And whence we claim our shoeing-horns, 001:18,039[A ]| Shows how the art of cobbling bears 001:18,040[A ]| A near resemblance to the spheres. 001:18,041[A ]| A scrap of parchment hung by geometry 001:18,042[A ]| (A great refinement in barometry) 001:18,043[A ]| Can like the stars foretell the weather; 001:18,044[A ]| And what is parchment else but leather? 001:18,045[A ]| Which an astrologer might use, 001:18,046[A ]| Either for almanacs or shoes. 001:18,047[A ]| Thus Partridge, by his wit and parts, 001:18,048[A ]| At once did practise both these arts: 001:18,049[A ]| And as the boding owl, or rather 001:18,050[A ]| The bat, because her wings are leather, 001:18,051[A ]| Steals from her private cell by night, 001:18,052[A ]| And flies about the candle-light; 001:18,053[A ]| So learned Partridge could as well 001:18,054[A ]| Creep in the dark from leathern cell, 001:18,055[A ]| And in his fancy fly as far, 001:18,056[A ]| To peep upon a twinkling star. 001:18,057[A ]| Besides, he could confound the spheres, 001:18,058[A ]| And set the planets by the eares: 001:18,059[A ]| To show his skill, he Mars would join 001:18,060[A ]| To Venus in aspe=ct malign; 001:18,061[A ]| Then call in Mercury for aid, 001:18,062[A ]| And cure the wounds that Venus made. 001:18,063[A ]| Great scholars have in Lucian read, 001:18,064[A ]| When Philip King of Greece was dead, 001:18,065[A ]| His soul and spirit did divide, 001:18,066[A ]| And each part took a different side; 001:18,067[A ]| One rose a star, the other fell 001:18,068[A ]| Beneath, and mended shoes in hell. 001:18,069[A ]| Thus Partridge still shines in each art, 001:18,070[A ]| The cobbling and stargazing part; 001:18,071[A ]| And is installed as good a star 001:18,072[A ]| As any of the Caesars are. 001:18,073[A ]| Triumphant star! Some pity show 001:18,074[A ]| On cobblers militant below, 001:18,075[A ]| Whom roguish boys in stormy nights 001:18,076[A ]| Torment, by pissing out their lights; 001:18,077[A ]| Or through a chink convey their smoke, 001:18,078[A ]| Enclosed artificers to choke. 001:18,079[A ]| Thou, high exalted in thy sphere, 001:18,080[A ]| Mayst follow still thy calling there. 001:18,081[A ]| To thee the Bull will lend his hide, 001:18,082[A ]| By Phoebus newly tanned and dried. 001:18,083[A ]| For thee they Argo's hulk will tax, 001:18,084[A ]| And scrape her pitchy sides for wax. 001:18,085[A ]| Then Ariadne kindly lends 001:18,086[A ]| Her braided hair to make thee ends. 001:18,087[A ]| The point of Sagittarius' dart, 001:18,088[A ]| Turns to an awl, by heavenly art: 001:18,089[A ]| And Vulcan, wheedled by his wife, 001:18,090[A ]| Will forge for thee a paring-knife. 001:18,091[A ]| For want of room by Virgo's side, 001:18,092[A ]| She'll strain a point, and sit astride, 001:18,093[A ]| To take thee kindly in between, 001:18,094[A ]| And then the signs will be thirteen. 001:18,000[' ]| 001:18,095[A ]| Here, five foot deep, lies on his back 001:18,096[A ]| A cobbler, star-monger, and quack; 001:18,097[A ]| Who to the stars in pure good will, 001:18,098[A ]| Does to his best look upward still. 001:18,099[A ]| Weep all you customers that use 001:18,100[A ]| His pills, his almanacs, or shoes: 001:18,101[A ]| And you that did your fortunes seek, 001:18,102[A ]| Step to his grave but once a week, 001:18,103[A ]| This earth, which bears his body's print, 001:18,104[A ]| You'll find has so much virtue in't, 001:18,105[A ]| That I durst pawn my ears, 'twill tell 001:18,106[A ]| Whate'er concerns you full as well, 001:18,107[A ]| In physic, stolen goods, or love, 001:18,108[A ]| As he himself could, when above. 001:19,000[' ]| 001:19,000[' ]| 001:19,001[A ]| In times of old, when time was young, 001:19,002[A ]| And poets their own verses sung, 001:19,003[A ]| A verse could draw a stone or beam, 001:19,004[A ]| That now would overload a team; 001:19,005[A ]| Lead 'em a dance of many a mile, 001:19,006[A ]| Then rear 'em to a goodly pile. 001:19,007[A ]| Each number had its different power; 001:19,008[A ]| Heroic strains could build a tower; 001:19,009[A ]| Sonnets, or elegies to Chloris, 001:19,010[A ]| Might raise a house about two storeys; 001:19,011[A ]| A lyric ode would slate; a catch 001:19,012[A ]| Would tile; an epigram would thatch. 001:19,013[A ]| But, to their own, or landlord's cost, 001:19,014[A ]| Now poets feel this art is lost; 001:19,015[A ]| Not one of all our tuneful throng 001:19,016[A ]| Can raise a lodging for a song. 001:19,017[A ]| For Jove considered well the case; 001:19,018[A ]| Observed they grew a numerous race, 001:19,019[A ]| And should they build as fast as write, 001:19,020[A ]| 'Twould ruin undertakers quite. 001:19,021[A ]| This evil, therefore to prevent, 001:19,022[A ]| He wisely changed their element: 001:19,023[A ]| On earth, the god of wealth was made 001:19,024[A ]| Sole patron of the building trade, 001:19,025[A ]| Leaving the wits the spacious air, 001:19,026[A ]| With licence to build castles there: 001:19,027[A ]| And 'tis conceived their old pretence 001:19,028[A ]| To lodge in garrets, comes from thence. 001:19,029[A ]| Premising thus in modern way 001:19,030[A ]| The better half we have to say; 001:19,031[A ]| Sing muse, the house of poet Van 001:19,032[A ]| In higher strains then we began. 001:19,033[A ]| Van (for 'tis fit the reader know it) 001:19,034[A ]| Is both a herald and a poet; 001:19,035[A ]| No wonder then, if nicely skilled 001:19,036[A ]| In both capacities to build. 001:19,037[A ]| As herald, he can in a day 001:19,038[A ]| Repair a house gone to decay; 001:19,039[A ]| Or by achievement, arms, device, 001:19,040[A ]| Erect a new one in a trice. 001:19,041[A ]| And as a poet, he has skill 001:19,042[A ]| To build in speculation still. 001:19,043@c | ""Great Jove!"" 001:19,043[A ]| he cried, 001:19,043@c | ""the art restore 001:19,044@c | To build by verse as heretofore; 001:19,045@c | And make my muse the architect; 001:19,046@c | What palaces shall we erect! 001:19,047@c | No longer shall forsaken Thames 001:19,048@c | Lament his old Whitehall in flames: 001:19,049@c | A pile shall from its ashes rise 001:19,050@c | Fit to invade, or prop the skies."" 001:19,051[A ]| Jove smiled, and like a gentle god, 001:19,052[A ]| Consenting with his usual nod, 001:19,053[A ]| Told Van he knew his talent best, 001:19,054[A ]| And left the choice to his own breast. 001:19,055[A ]| So Van resolved to write a farce; 001:19,056[A ]| But well perceiving wit was scarce, 001:19,057[A ]| With cunning that defect supplies; 001:19,058[A ]| Takes a French play as lawful prize; 001:19,059[A ]| Steals thence his plot, and every joke, 001:19,060[A ]| Not once suspecting Jove would smoke; 001:19,061[A ]| And (like a wag) sat down to write, 001:19,062[A ]| Would whisper to himself, 001:19,062@c | ""A bite."" 001:19,063[A ]| Then from this motley mingled style 001:19,064[A ]| Proceeded to erect his pile. 001:19,065[A ]| So men of old, to gain renown, did 001:19,066[A ]| Build Babel with their own tongues confounded. 001:19,067[A ]| Jove saw the cheat, but thought it best 001:19,068[A ]| To turn the matter to a jest: 001:19,069[A ]| Down from Olympus top he slides, 001:19,070[A ]| Laughing as if he'd burst his sides: 001:19,071@d | ""Ay,"" 001:19,071[A ]| thought the god, 001:19,071@d | ""are these your tricks? 001:19,072@d | Why then, old plays deserve old bricks, 001:19,073@d | And since you're sparing of your stuff, 001:19,074@d | Your building shall be small enough."" 001:19,075[A ]| He spake, and grudging lent his aid; 001:19,076[A ]| The experienced bricks that knew their trade 001:19,077[A ]| (As being bricks at second hand) 001:19,078[A ]| Now move, and now in order stand. 001:19,079[A ]| The building, as the poet writ, 001:19,080[A ]| Rose in proportion to his wit: 001:19,081[A ]| And first the prologue built a wall 001:19,082[A ]| So wide as to encompass all. 001:19,083[A ]| The scene, a wood, produced no more 001:19,084[A ]| Than a few scrubby trees before. 001:19,085[A ]| The plot as yet lay deep, and so 001:19,086[A ]| A cellar next was dug below: 001:19,087[A ]| But this a work so hard was found, 001:19,088[A ]| Two acts it cost him underground. 001:19,089[A ]| Two other acts we may presume 001:19,090[A ]| Were spent in building each a room: 001:19,091[A ]| Thus far advanced, he made a shift 001:19,092[A ]| To raise a roof with act the fift. 001:19,093[A ]| The epilogue behind, did frame 001:19,094[A ]| A place not decent here to name. 001:19,095[A ]| Now poets from all quarters ran 001:19,096[A ]| To see the house of brother Van: 001:19,097[A ]| Looked high and low, walked often round, 001:19,098[A ]| But no such house was to be found: 001:19,099[A ]| One asks the waterman hard by, 001:19,100@e | ""Where may the poet's palace lie?"" 001:19,101[A ]| Another, of the Thames inquires, 001:19,102[A ]| If he has seen its gilded spires? 001:19,103[A ]| At length they in the rubbish spy 001:19,104[A ]| A thing resembling a goose-pie: 001:19,105[A ]| Thither in haste the poets throng, 001:19,106[A ]| And gaze in silent wonder long; 001:19,107[A ]| Till one in rapture thus began 001:19,108[A ]| To praise the pile, and builder Van. 001:19,109@d | ""Thrice happy poet, who may trail 001:19,110@d | Thy house about thee, like a snail; 001:19,111@d | Or harnessed to a nag, at ease, 001:19,112@d | Take journeys in it like a chaise; 001:19,113@d | Or in a boat, whene'er thou wilt 001:19,114@d | Canst make it serve thee for a tilt. 001:19,115@d | Capacious house! 'tis owned by all, 001:19,116@d | Thou'rt well contrived, though thou art small; 001:19,117@d | For every wit in Britain's isle 001:19,118@d | May lodge within thy spacious pile. 001:19,119@d | Like Bacchus thou, as poets feign, 001:19,120@d | Thy mother burnt, art born again; 001:19,121@d | Born like a Phoenix from the flame, 001:19,122@d | But neither bulk nor shape the same: 001:19,123@d | As animals of largest size 001:19,124@d | Corrupt to maggots, worms and flies. 001:19,125@d | A type of modern wit and style, 001:19,126@d | The rubbish of an ancient pile. 001:19,127@d | So chemists boast, they have a power 001:19,128@d | From the dead ashes of a flower 001:19,129@d | Some faint resemblance to produce; 001:19,130@d | But not the virtue, taste, or juice. 001:19,131@d | So modern rhymers wisely blast 001:19,132@d | The poetry of ages past, 001:19,133@d | Which after they have overthrown, 001:19,134@d | They from its ruins build their own."" 001:20,000[' ]| 001:20,001[A ]| When Cupid did his grandsire Jove entreat, 001:20,002[A ]| To form some beauty by a new receipt; 001:20,003[A ]| Jove sent and found far in a country scene, 001:20,004[A ]| Truth, innocence, good nature, look serene: 001:20,005[A ]| From which ingredients, first the dexterous boy 001:20,006[A ]| Picked the demure, the awkward, and the coy: 001:20,007[A ]| The Graces from the court did next provide 001:20,008[A ]| Breeding, and wit, and air, and decent pride. 001:20,009[A ]| These Venus cleansed from every spurious grain 001:20,010[A ]| Of nice, coquette, affected, pert and vain. 001:20,011[A ]| Jove mixed up all, and his best clay employed; 001:20,012[A ]| Then called the happy composition Floyd. 001:21,000[' ]| 001:21,000[' ]| 001:21,000[' ]| 001:21,001[A ]| Phoebus now shortening every shade, 001:21,002[A ]| Up to the Northern Tropic came, 001:21,003[A ]| And thence beheld a lovely maid 001:21,004[A ]| Attending on a royal dame. 001:21,005[A ]| The god laid down his feeble rays, 001:21,006[A ]| Then lighted from his glittering coach; 001:21,007[A ]| But fenced his head with his own bays 001:21,008[A ]| Before he durst the nymph approach. 001:21,009[A ]| Under those sacred leaves, secure 001:21,010[A ]| From common lightning of the skies, 001:21,011[A ]| He fondly thought he might endure 001:21,012[A ]| The flashes of Ardelia's eyes. 001:21,013[A ]| The nymph, who oft had read in books, 001:21,014[A ]| Of that bright god whom bards invoke, 001:21,015[A ]| Soon knew Apollo by his looks, 001:21,016[A ]| And guessed his business ere he spoke. 001:21,017[A ]| He in the old celestial cant, 001:21,018[A ]| Confessed his flame, and swore by Styx, 001:21,019[A ]| Whate'er she would desire, to grant; 001:21,020[A ]| But wise Ardelia knew his tricks. 001:21,021[A ]| Ovid had warned her to beware 001:21,022[A ]| Of strolling gods, whose usual trade is, 001:21,023[A ]| Under pretence of taking air, 001:21,024[A ]| To pick up sublunary ladies. 001:21,025[A ]| Howe'er, she gave no flat denial, 001:21,026[A ]| As having malice in her heart; 001:21,027[A ]| And was resolved upon a trial, 001:21,028[A ]| To cheat the god in his own art. 001:21,029@c | ""Hear my request,"" 001:21,029[A ]| the virgin said, 001:21,030@c | ""Let which I please of all the nine 001:21,031@c | Attend whene'er I want their aid, 001:21,032@c | Obey my call, and only mine."" 001:21,033[A ]| By vow obliged, by passion led, 001:21,034[A ]| The god could not refuse her prayer; 001:21,035[A ]| He waved his wreath thrice o'er her head, 001:21,036[A ]| Thrice muttered something to the air. 001:21,037[A ]| And now he thought to seize his due, 001:21,038[A ]| But she the charm already tried, 001:21,039[A ]| Thalia heard the call and flew 001:21,040[A ]| To wait at bright Ardelia's side. 001:21,041[A ]| On sight of this celestial prude, 001:21,042[A ]| Apollo thought it vain to stay, 001:21,043[A ]| Nor in her presence durst be rude, 001:21,044[A ]| But made his leg and went away. 001:21,045[A ]| He hoped to find some lucky hour, 001:21,046[A ]| When on their queen the muses wait; 001:21,047[A ]| But Pallas owns Ardelia's power, 001:21,048[A ]| For vows divine are kept by fate. 001:21,049[A ]| Then full of rage Apollo spoke, 001:21,050@d | ""Deceitful nymph, I see thy art; 001:21,051@d | And though I can't my gift revoke, 001:21,052@d | I'll disappoint its nobler part. 001:21,053@d | ""Let stubborn pride possess thee long, 001:21,054@d | And be thou negligent of fame, 001:21,055@d | With every muse to grace thy song, 001:21,056@d | Mayst thou despise a poet's name. 001:21,057@d | ""Of modest poets thou be first, 001:21,058@d | To silent shades repeat thy verse, 001:21,059@d | Till Fame and Echo almost burst, 001:21,060@d | Yet hardly dare one line rehearse. 001:21,061@d | ""And last, my vengeance to complete, 001:21,062@d | May you descend to take renown, 001:21,063@d | Prevailed on by the thing you hate, 001:21,064@d | A Whig, and one that wears a gown."" 001:22,000[' ]| 001:22,000[' ]| 001:22,001[A ]| In ancient times, as story tells, 001:22,002[A ]| The saints would often leave their cells, 001:22,003[A ]| And stroll about, but hide their quality, 001:22,004[A ]| To try good people's hospitality. 001:22,005[A ]| It happened on a winter night, 001:22,006[A ]| (As authors of the legend write) 001:22,007[A ]| Two brother hermits, saints by trade, 001:22,008[A ]| Taking their tour in masquerade, 001:22,009[A ]| Disguised in tattered habits, went 001:22,010[A ]| To a small village down in Kent; 001:22,011[A ]| Where, in the stroller's canting strain, 001:22,012[A ]| They begged from door to door in vain; 001:22,013[A ]| Tried every tone might pity win, 001:22,014[A ]| But not a soul would let them in. 001:22,015[A ]| Our wandering saints in woeful state, 001:22,016[A ]| Treated at this ungodly rate, 001:22,017[A ]| Having through all the village passed, 001:22,018[A ]| To a small cottage came at last; 001:22,019[A ]| Where dwelt a good old honest yeoman, 001:22,020[A ]| Called in the neighbourhood, Philemon. 001:22,021[A ]| Who kindly did the saints invite 001:22,022[A ]| In his poor hut to pass the night; 001:22,023[A ]| And then the hospitable sire 001:22,024[A ]| Bid Goody Baucis mend the fire; 001:22,025[A ]| While he from out the chimney took 001:22,026[A ]| A flitch of bacon off the hook; 001:22,027[A ]| And freely from the fattest side, 001:22,028[A ]| Cut out large slices to be fried: 001:22,029[A ]| Then stepped aside to fetch 'em drink, 001:22,030[A ]| Filled a large jug up to the brink; 001:22,031[A ]| And saw it fairly twice go round; 001:22,032[A ]| Yet (what was wonderful) they found 001:22,033[A ]| 'Twas still replenished to the top, 001:22,034[A ]| As if they ne'er had touched a drop. 001:22,035[A ]| The good old couple was amazed, 001:22,036[A ]| And often on each other gazed: 001:22,037[A ]| For both were frighted to the heart, 001:22,038[A ]| And just began to cry, 001:22,038@x | ""What art!"" 001:22,039[A ]| Then softly turned aside to view, 001:22,040[A ]| Whether the lights were burning blue. 001:22,041[A ]| The gentle pilgrims soon aware on't, 001:22,042[A ]| Told them their calling, and their errand: 001:22,043@y | ""Good folks, you need not be afraid, 001:22,044@y | We are but saints,"" 001:22,044[A ]| the hermits said; 001:22,045@y | ""No hurt shall come to you, or yours; 001:22,046@y | But, for that pack of churlish boors, 001:22,047@y | Not fit to live on Christian ground, 001:22,048@y | They and their houses shall be drowned: 001:22,049@y | Whilst you shall see your cottage rise, 001:22,050@y | And grow a church before your eyes."" 001:22,051[A ]| They scarce had spoke; when fair and soft 001:22,052[A ]| The roof began to mount aloft; 001:22,053[A ]| Aloft rose every beam and rafter; 001:22,054[A ]| The heavy wall climbed slowly after. 001:22,055[A ]| The chimney widened, and grew higher, 001:22,056[A ]| Became a steeple with a spire. 001:22,057[A ]| The kettle to the top was hoist, 001:22,058[A ]| And there stood fastened to a joist: 001:22,059[A ]| But with the upside down, to show 001:22,060[A ]| Its inclination for below; 001:22,061[A ]| In vain; for some superior force 001:22,062[A ]| Applied at bottom, stops its course, 001:22,063[A ]| Doomed ever in suspense to dwell, 001:22,064[A ]| 'Tis now no kettle, but a bell. 001:22,065[A ]| A wooden jack, which had almost 001:22,066[A ]| Lost, by disuse, the art to roast, 001:22,067[A ]| A sudden alteration feels, 001:22,068[A ]| Increased by new intestine wheels: 001:22,069[A ]| And what exalts the wonder more, 001:22,070[A ]| The number made the motion slower, 001:22,071[A ]| The flier, which though't had leaden feet, 001:22,072[A ]| Turned round so quick you scarce could see't; 001:22,073[A ]| Now slackened by some secret power, 001:22,074[A ]| Can hardly move an inch an hour. 001:22,075[A ]| The jack and chimney, near allied, 001:22,076[A ]| Had never left each other's side; 001:22,077[A ]| The chimney to a steeple grown, 001:22,078[A ]| The jack would not be left alone; 001:22,079[A ]| But up against the steeple reared, 001:22,080[A ]| Became a clock, and still adhered: 001:22,081[A ]| And still its love to household cares 001:22,082[A ]| By a shrill voice at noon declares, 001:22,083[A ]| Warning the cook-maid not to burn 001:22,084[A ]| That roast meat which it cannot turn. 001:22,085[A ]| The groaning chair was seen to crawl, 001:22,086[A ]| Like an huge snail half up the wall; 001:22,087[A ]| There stuck aloft, in public view; 001:22,088[A ]| And with small change, a pulpit grew. 001:22,089[A ]| The porringers, that in a row 001:22,090[A ]| Hung high, and made a glittering show, 001:22,091[A ]| To a less noble substance changed, 001:22,092[A ]| Were now but leathern buckets, ranged. 001:22,093[A ]| The ballads pasted on the wall, 001:22,094[A ]| Of Joan of France, and English Moll, 001:22,095[A ]| Fair Rosamund, and Robin*Hood, 001:22,096[A ]| ""The little children in the wood"": 001:22,097[A ]| Now seemed to look abundance better, 001:22,098[A ]| Improved in picture, size, and letter; 001:22,099[A ]| And high in order placed describe 001:22,100[A ]| The heraldry of every tribe. 001:22,101[A ]| A bedstead of the antique mode, 001:22,102[A ]| Compact of timber many a load; 001:22,103[A ]| Such as our grandsires wont to use, 001:22,104[A ]| Was metamorphosed into pews; 001:22,105[A ]| Which still their ancient nature keep, 001:22,106[A ]| By lodging folks disposed to sleep. 001:22,107[A ]| The cottage by such feats as these, 001:22,108[A ]| Grown to a church by just degrees; 001:22,109[A ]| The hermits then desire their host 001:22,110[A ]| To ask for what he fancied most. 001:22,111[A ]| Philemon having paused a while, 001:22,112[A ]| Returned 'em thanks in homely style; 001:22,113[A ]| Then said, 001:22,113@c | ""My house is grown so fine, 001:22,114@c | Methinks I still would call it mine: 001:22,115@c | I'm old, and fain would live at ease, 001:22,116@c | Make me the parson, if you please."" 001:22,117[A ]| He spoke, and presently he feels 001:22,118[A ]| His grazier's coat fall down his heels; 001:22,119[A ]| He sees, yet hardly can believe, 001:22,120[A ]| About each arm a pudding-sleeve: 001:22,121[A ]| His waistcoat to a cassock grew, 001:22,122[A ]| And both assumed a sable hue; 001:22,123[A ]| But being old, continued just 001:22,124[A ]| As threadbare, and as full of dust. 001:22,125[A ]| His talk was now of tithes and dues: 001:22,126[A ]| Could smoke his pipe, and read the news; 001:22,127[A ]| Knew how to preach old sermons next, 001:22,128[A ]| Vamped in the preface and the text; 001:22,129[A ]| At christening well could act his part, 001:22,130[A ]| And had the service all by heart: 001:22,131[A ]| Wished women might have children fast, 001:22,132[A ]| And thought whose sow had farrowed last: 001:22,133[A ]| Against dissenters would repine, 001:22,134[A ]| And stood up firm for right divine: 001:22,135[A ]| Found his head filled with many a system, 001:22,136[A ]| But classic authors ~~ he ne'er missed 'em. 001:22,137[A ]| Thus having furbished up a parson, 001:22,138[A ]| Dame Baucis next they played their farce on: 001:22,139[A ]| Instead of homespun coifs were seen 001:22,140[A ]| Good pinners edged with colbertine: 001:22,141[A ]| Her petticoat transformed apace, 001:22,142[A ]| Became black satin, flounced with lace. 001:22,143[A ]| Plain Goody would no longer down; 001:22,144[A ]| 'Twas Madam, in her grogram gown. 001:22,145[A ]| Philemon was in great surprise, 001:22,146[A ]| And hardly could believe his eyes; 001:22,147[A ]| Amazed to see her look so prim: 001:22,148[A ]| And she admired as much at him. 001:22,149[A ]| Thus, happy in their change of life, 001:22,150[A ]| Were several years the man and wife: 001:22,151[A ]| When on a day, which proved their last, 001:22,152[A ]| Discoursing o'er old stories past, 001:22,153[A ]| They went by chance, amidst their talk, 001:22,154[A ]| To the churchyard, to fetch a walk; 001:22,155[A ]| When Baucis hastily cried out, 001:22,156@d | ""My dear, I see your forehead sprout!"" 001:22,157@c | ""Sprout,"" 001:22,157[A ]| quoth the man, 001:22,157@c | ""what's this you tell us? 001:22,158@c | I hope you don't believe me jealous: 001:22,159@c | But yet, methinks, I feel it true; 001:22,160@c | And really yours is budding too ~~ 001:22,161@c | Nay ~~ now I cannot stir my foot: 001:22,162@c | It feels as if 'twere taking root."" 001:22,163[A ]| Description would but tire my muse: 001:22,164[A ]| In short, they both were turned to yews. 001:22,165[A ]| Old Goodman Dobson, of the Green, 001:22,166[A ]| Remembers he the trees has seen; 001:22,167[A ]| He'll talk of them from noon to night, 001:22,168[A ]| And goes with folks to show the sight; 001:22,169[A ]| On Sundays, after evening prayer, 001:22,170[A ]| He gathers all the parish there: 001:22,171[A ]| Points out the place of either yew; 001:22,172[A ]| Here Baucis, there Philemon grew: 001:22,173[A ]| Till once, a parson of our town, 001:22,174[A ]| To mend his barn, cut Baucis down; 001:22,175[A ]| At which, 'tis hard to be believed, 001:22,176[A ]| How much the other tree was grieved: 001:22,177[A ]| Grew scrubby, died a-top, was stunted: 001:22,178[A ]| So, the next parson stubbed and burnt it. 001:23,000[' ]| <""In Pity to the Emptying Town""> 001:23,001[A ]| In pity to the emptying town 001:23,002[A ]| Some god May Fair invented, 001:23,003[A ]| When nature would invite us down, 001:23,004[A ]| To be by art prevented 001:23,005[A ]| What a corrupted taste is ours 001:23,006[A ]| When milkmaids in mock-state 001:23,007[A ]| Instead of garlands made of flowers 001:23,008[A ]| Adorn their pails with plate. 001:23,009[A ]| So are the joys which nature yields 001:23,010[A ]| Inverted in May Fair; 001:23,011[A ]| In painted cloth we look for fields, 001:23,012[A ]| And step in booths for air. 001:23,013[A ]| Here a dog dancing on his hams 001:23,014[A ]| And puppets moved by wire 001:23,015[A ]| Do far exceed your frisking lambs 001:23,016[A ]| Or song of feathered quire. 001:23,017[A ]| Howe'er such verse as yours, I grant 001:23,018[A ]| Would be but too inviting 001:23,019[A ]| Were fair Ardelia not my aunt, 001:23,020[A ]| Or were it Worsley's writing. 001:23,021[A ]| Then pray think this a lucky hit, 001:23,022[A ]| Nor ne'er expect another, 001:23,023[A ]| For honest Harry is no wit, 001:23,024[A ]| Though he's a younger brother. 001:24,000[' ]| 001:24,001[A ]| Now hardly here and there a hackney coach 001:24,002[A ]| Appearing, showed the ruddy morn's approach. 001:24,003[A ]| Now Betty from her master's bed has flown, 001:24,004[A ]| And softly stole to discompose her own. 001:24,005[A ]| The slipshod prentice from his master's door 001:24,006[A ]| Had pared the dirt, and sprinkled round the floor. 001:24,007[A ]| Now Moll had whirled her mop with dexterous airs, 001:24,008[A ]| Prepared to scrub the entry and the stairs. 001:24,009[A ]| The youth with broomy stumps began to trace 001:24,010[A ]| The kennel-edge, where wheels had worn the place. 001:24,011[A ]| The smallcoal man was heard with cadence deep; 001:24,012[A ]| Till drowned in shriller notes of chimney-sweep. 001:24,013[A ]| Duns at his Lordship's gate began to meet; 001:24,014[A ]| And Brickdust Moll had screamed through half a street. 001:24,015[A ]| The turnkey now his flock returning sees, 001:24,016[A ]| Duly let out a-nights to steal for fees. 001:24,017[A ]| The watchful bailiffs take their silent stands; 001:24,018[A ]| And schoolboys lag with satchels in their hands. 001:25,000[' ]| 001:25,000[' ]| 001:25,001[A ]| Whoever pleaseth to inquire, 001:25,002[A ]| Why yonder steeple wants a spire, 001:25,003[A ]| The grey old fellow poet Joe 001:25,004[A ]| The philosophic cause will show. 001:25,005[A ]| Once, on a time a Western blast, 001:25,006[A ]| At least twelve inches overcast, 001:25,007[A ]| Reckoning roof, weathercock and all, 001:25,008[A ]| Which came with a prodigious fall; 001:25,009[A ]| And tumbling topsyturvy round 001:25,010[A ]| Light with its bottom on the ground. 001:25,011[A ]| For by the laws of gravitation, 001:25,012[A ]| It fell into its proper station. 001:25,013[A ]| This is the little strutting pile, 001:25,014[A ]| You see just by the churchyard stile; 001:25,015[A ]| The walls in tumbling gave a knock; 001:25,016[A ]| And thus the steeple got a shock; 001:25,017[A ]| From whence the neighbouring farmer calls 001:25,018[A ]| The steeple ""Knock"", the vicar ""Walls"". 001:25,019[A ]| The vicar once a week creeps in, 001:25,020[A ]| Sits with his knees up to his chiin; 001:25,021[A ]| Here cons his notes, and takes a whet, 001:25,022[A ]| Till a small ragged flock is met. 001:25,023[A ]| A traveller, who by did pass, 001:25,024[A ]| Observed the roof behind the grass; 001:25,025[A ]| On tiptoe stood and reared his snout, 001:25,026[A ]| And saw the parson creeping out; 001:25,027[A ]| Was much surprised to see a crow 001:25,028[A ]| Venture to build his nest so low. 001:25,029[A ]| A schoolboy ran unto't and thought, 001:25,030[A ]| The crib was down, the blackbird caught. 001:25,031[A ]| A third, who lost his way by night, 001:25,032[A ]| Was forced, for safety, to alight, 001:25,033[A ]| And stepping o'er the fabric roof, 001:25,034[A ]| His horse had like to spoil his hoof. 001:25,035[A ]| Warburton took it in his noddle, 001:25,036[A ]| This building was designed a model, 001:25,037[A ]| Or of a pigeon-house, or oven, 001:25,038[A ]| To bake one loaf, and keep one dove in. 001:25,039[A ]| Then Mrs*Johnson gave her verdict, 001:25,040[A ]| And everyone was pleased, that heard it: 001:25,041@c | ""All that you make this stir about, 001:25,042@c | Is but a still which wants a spout."" 001:25,043[A ]| The Reverend Dr*Raymond guessed, 001:25,044[A ]| More probably than all the rest; 001:25,045[A ]| He said, but that it wanted room, 001:25,046[A ]| It might have been a pigmy's tomb. 001:25,047[A ]| The Doctor's family came by, 001:25,048[A ]| And little Miss began to cry; 001:25,049@d | Give me that house in my own hand; 001:25,050[A ]| Then Madam bid the chariot stand, 001:25,051[A ]| Called to the clerk in manner mild, 001:25,052@e | ""Pray reach that thing here to the child, 001:25,053@e | That thing, I mean, among the kale, 001:25,054@e | And here's to buy a pot of ale."" 001:25,055[A ]| The clerk said to her in a heat, 001:25,056@f | ""What? sell my master's country seat? 001:25,057@f | Where he comes every week from town; 001:25,058@f | He would not sell it for a crown."" 001:25,059@g | ""Poh! Fellow keep not such a pother, 001:25,060@g | In half an hour thou'lt make another."" 001:25,061[A ]| Says Nancy, 001:25,061@g | ""I can make for Miss, 001:25,062@g | A finer house ten times than this, 001:25,063@g | The Dean wil give me willow sticks, 001:25,064@g | And Joe my apron full of bricks."" 001:26,000[' ]| 001:26,001[A ]| The rod was but a harmless wand, 001:26,002[A ]| While Moses held it in his hand; 001:26,003[A ]| But soon as e'er he laid it down, 001:26,004[A ]| 'Twas a devouring serpent grown. 001:26,005[A ]| Our great magician, Hamet Sid, 001:26,006[A ]| Reverses what the prophet did: 001:26,007[A ]| His rod was honest English wood, 001:26,008[A ]| That senseless in a corner stood, 001:26,009[A ]| Till metamorphosed by his grasp, 001:26,010[A ]| It grew an all-devouring asp; 001:26,011[A ]| Would hiss and sting, and roll, and twist, 001:26,012[A ]| By the mere virtue of his fist: 001:26,013[A ]| But when he laid it down, as quick 001:26,014[A ]| Resumed the figure of a stick. 001:26,015[A ]| So to her midnight feats the hag 001:26,016[A ]| Rides on a broomstick for a nag, 001:26,017[A ]| That raised by magic of her breech, 001:26,018[A ]| O'er land and sea conveys the witch: 001:26,019[A ]| But with the morning dawn resumes 001:26,020[A ]| The peaceful state of common brooms. 001:26,021[A ]| They tell us something strange and odd, 001:26,022[A ]| About a certain magic rod, 001:26,023[A ]| That bending down its top divines 001:26,024[A ]| Whene'er the soil has golden mines: 001:26,025[A ]| Where there are none, it stands erect, 001:26,026[A ]| Scorning to show the least respect. 001:26,027[A ]| As ready was the wand of Sid 001:26,028[A ]| To bend where golden mines were hid; 001:26,029[A ]| In Scottish hills found precious ore, 001:26,030[A ]| Where none e'er looked for it before: 001:26,031[A ]| And by a gentle bow divined 001:26,032[A ]| How well a cully's purse was lined: 001:26,033[A ]| To a forlorn and broken rake, 001:26,034[A ]| Stood without motion, like a stake. 001:26,035[A ]| The rod of Hermes was renowned 001:26,036[A ]| For charms above and under ground; 001:26,037[A ]| To sleep could mortal eyelids fix, 001:26,038[A ]| And drive departed souls to Styx. 001:26,039[A ]| That rod was just a type of Sid's, 001:26,040[A ]| Which o'er a British senate's lids 001:26,041[A ]| Could scatter opium full as well, 001:26,042[A ]| And drive as many souls to hell. 001:26,043[A ]| Sid's rod was slender, white, and tall, 001:26,044[A ]| Which oft he used to fish withal: 001:26,045[A ]| A \place\ was fastened to the hook, 001:26,046[A ]| And many a score of gudgeons took; 001:26,047[A ]| Yet, still so happy was his fate, 001:26,048[A ]| He caught his fish, and saved his bait. 001:26,049[A ]| Sid's brethren of the conjuring tribe 001:26,050[A ]| A circle with their rod describe, 001:26,051[A ]| Which proves a magical redoubt, 001:26,052[A ]| To keep mischievous spirits out: 001:26,053[A ]| Sid's rod was of a larger stride, 001:26,054[A ]| And made a circle thrice as wide; 001:26,055[A ]| Where spirits thronged with hideous din, 001:26,056[A ]| And he stood there to take them in. 001:26,057[A ]| But, when the enchanted rod was broke, 001:26,058[A ]| They vanished in a stinking smoke. 001:26,059[A ]| Achilles' sceptre was of wood, 001:26,060[A ]| Like Sid's, but nothing near so good: 001:26,061[A ]| Though down from ancestors divine, 001:26,062[A ]| Transmitted to the hero's line, 001:26,063[A ]| Thence, through a long descent of kings, 001:26,064[A ]| Came an heirloom, as Homer sings, 001:26,065[A ]| Though this description looks so big, 001:26,066[A ]| That sceptre was a sapless twig; 001:26,067[A ]| Which, from the fatal day when first 001:26,068[A ]| It left the forest where 'twas nursed, 001:26,069[A ]| As Homer tells us o'er and o'er, 001:26,070[A ]| Nor leaf, nor fruit, nor blossom bore. 001:26,071[A ]| Sid's sceptre, full of juice, did shoot 001:26,072[A ]| In golden boughs, and golden fruit; 001:26,073[A ]| And he, the dragon never sleeping, 001:26,074[A ]| Guarded each fair Hesperian pippin. 001:26,075[A ]| No hobbyhorse, with gorgeous top, 001:26,076[A ]| The dearest in Charles Mather's shop, 001:26,077[A ]| Or glittering tinsel of May Fair, 001:26,078[A ]| Could with this rod of Sid's compare. 001:26,079[A ]| Dear Sid, then why wert thou so mad 001:26,080[A ]| To break thy rod like naughty lad? 001:26,081[A ]| You should have kissed it in your distress, 001:26,082[A ]| And then returned it to your mistress; 001:26,083[A ]| Or made it a Newmarket switch, 001:26,084[A ]| And not a rod for thy own breech. 001:26,085[A ]| But since old Sid has broken this, 001:26,086[A ]| His next may be a rod in piss. 001:27,000[' ]| 001:27,000[' ]| 001:27,001[A ]| Come, fair muse of Grub*Street, the dialogue write, 001:27,002[A ]| Betwixt Captain*Tom and a goodly old knight. 001:27,003[A ]| Quoth ancient Sir*Harry, 001:27,003@c | ""My dear Captain*Thomas, 001:27,004@c | Sure you and your subjects will not depart from us. 001:27,005@c | Then hold hat and heart, and right hand every man up, 001:27,006@c | And bawl out old Colt, and brave General*Stanhope. 001:27,007@c | Let the General's merits and mine be maintained: 001:27,008@c | Turn off the old brewer, and be not cross-grained. 001:27,009@c | In a protestant country, why are you for crosses? 001:27,010@c | And brewers will poison you all with molosses. 001:27,011@c | Besides, are not all the damned Jacobite brewers, 001:27,012@c | Still brewing of mischief, and so may be yours? 001:27,013@c | And papists are brewers, with faggots to burn us; 001:27,014@c | But if you love brewing, you may have a Furnese. 001:27,015@c | Then Stanhope shall send you each laurel he crops; 001:27,016@c | And laurels are sometimes as bitter as hops."" 001:27,017[A ]| When comely Sir*Harry had thus shot his bolt, 001:27,018[A ]| Then replied Captain*Tom, 001:27,018@d | ""God-a-mercy, old Colt, 001:27,019@d | You had better have been at your spade and your club, 001:27,020@d | Than take up our time with a tale of a tub. 001:27,021@d | You shall be discarded, I say't to your face; 001:27,022@d | We'll all play the game, and not bate you an ace. 001:27,023@d | Then let me advise you no longer to stay; 001:27,024@d | But pack up and shuffle, and cut it away. 001:27,025@d | And though you have wit, youth, beauty, and parts, 001:27,026@d | While we keep our clubs, you shall ne'er win our hearts. 001:27,027@d | Brave Stanhope for fighting will have his reward, 001:27,028@d | And the Queen, when she pleases, can make him a lord. 001:27,029@d | But we are true friends of the church and Sacheverell; 001:27,030@d | And vote for a manager surely we never will! 001:27,031@d | Besides, we have found too much heat in some rulers, 001:27,032@d | And will give them a brewer, because they want coolers. 001:27,033@d | If Christians love crosses, why should they be blamed? 001:27,034@d | You shall see us bear ours, and not be ashamed. 001:27,035@d | But we know what you aim at; you all would engross, 001:27,036@d | And not leave the church or the nation a cross."" 001:27,037[A ]| When the Captain had finished, away went old Numps; 001:27,038[A ]| He had got a bad game, and could not turn up trumps. 001:27,039[A ]| His eggs they are addled, and dough was his cake; 001:27,040[A ]| So fairly he left them to brew as they bake. 001:28,000[' ]| 001:28,001[A ]| Careful observers may foretell the hour 001:28,002[A ]| (By sure prognostics) when to dread a shower. 001:28,003[A ]| While rain depends, the pensive cat gives o'er 001:28,004[A ]| Her frolics, and pursues her tail no more. 001:28,005[A ]| Returning home at night you find the sink 001:28,006[A ]| Strike your offended sense with double stink. 001:28,007[A ]| If you be wise, then go not far to dine, 001:28,008[A ]| You spend in coach-hire more than save in wine. 001:28,009[A ]| A coming shower your shooting corns presage, 001:28,010[A ]| Old aches throb, your hollow tooth will rage: 001:28,011[A ]| Sauntering in coffee-house is Dulman seen; 001:28,012[A ]| He damns the climate, and complains of speen. 001:28,013[A ]| Meanwhile the south, rising with dabbled wings, 001:28,014[A ]| A sable cloud athwart the welkin flings; 001:28,015[A ]| That swilled more liquor than it could contain, 001:28,016[A ]| And like a drunkard gives it up again. 001:28,017[A ]| Brisk Susan whips her lines from the rope, 001:28,018[A ]| While the first drizzling shower is born aslope: 001:28,019[A ]| Such is that sprinkling which some careless quean 001:28,020[A ]| Flirts on you from her mop, but not so clean: 001:28,021[A ]| You fly, invoke the gods; then turning, stop 001:28,022[A ]| To rail; she singing, still whirls on her mop. 001:28,023[A ]| Nor yet the dust had shunned the unequal strife, 001:28,024[A ]| But aided by the wind, fought still for life; 001:28,025[A ]| And wafted with its foe by violent gust, 001:28,026[A ]| 'Twas doubtful which was rain, and which was dust. 001:28,027[A ]| Ah! where must needy poet seek for aid, 001:28,028[A ]| When dust and rain at once his coat invade? 001:28,029[A ]| Sole coat, where dust cemented by the rain 001:28,030[A ]| Erects the nap, and leaves a cloudy stain. 001:28,031[A ]| Now in contiguous drops the flood comes down, 001:28,032[A ]| Threatening with deluge this devoted town. 001:28,033[A ]| To shops in crowds the daggled females fly, 001:28,034[A ]| Pretend to cheapen goods, but nothing buy. 001:28,035[A ]| The templar spruce, while every spout's abroach, 001:28,036[A ]| Stays till 'tis fair, yet seems to call a coach. 001:28,037[A ]| The tucked-up seamstress walks with hasty strides, 001:28,038[A ]| While streams run down her oiled umbrella's sides. 001:28,039[A ]| Here various kinds by various fortunes led, 001:28,040[A ]| Commence acquaintance underneath a shed. 001:28,041[A ]| Triumphant Tories, and desponding Whigs, 001:28,042[A ]| Forget their feuds, and join to save their wigs. 001:28,043[A ]| Boxed in a chair the beau impatient sits, 001:28,044[A ]| While spouts run clattering o'er the roof by fits; 001:28,045[A ]| And ever and anon with frightful din 001:28,046[A ]| The leather sounds; he trembles from within. 001:28,047[A ]| So when Troy chairmen bore the wooden steed, 001:28,048[A ]| Pregnant with Greeks, impatient to be freed; 001:28,049[A ]| (Those bully Greeks, who, as the moderns do, 001:28,050[A ]| Instead of paying chairmen, run them through) 001:28,051[A ]| Laocoon struck the outside with his spear, 001:28,052[A ]| And each imprisoned hero quaked for fear. 001:28,053[A ]| Now from all parts the swelling kennels flow, 001:28,054[A ]| And bear their trophies with them as they go: 001:28,055[A ]| Filths of all hues and odours, seem to tell 001:28,056[A ]| What streets they sailed from, by the sight and smell. 001:28,057[A ]| They, as each torrent drives with rapid force 001:28,058[A ]| From Smithfield, or St*Pulchre's shape their course; 001:28,059[A ]| And in huge confluent join at Snow*Hill ridge, 001:28,060[A ]| Fall from the conduit prone to Holborn*Bridge. 001:28,061[A ]| Sweepings from butchers' stalls, dung, guts, and blood, 001:28,062[A ]| Drowned puppies, stinking sprats, all drenched in mud, 001:28,063[A ]| Dead cats and turnip-tops come tumbling down the flood. 001:29,000[' ]| 001:29,001[A ]| On Britain Europe's safety lies, 001:29,002[A ]| And Britain lost if Harley dies: 001:29,003[A ]| Harley depends upon your skill, 001:29,004[A ]| Think what you save or what you kill. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,001[B ]| Now the keen rigour of the winter's o'er, 001:30,002[B ]| No hail descends, and frosts can pinch no more, 001:30,003[B ]| Whilst other girls confess the genial spring, 001:30,004[B ]| And laugh aloud, or amorous ditties sing, 001:30,005[B ]| Secure from cold their lovely necks display, 001:30,006[B ]| And throw each useless chafing-dish away, 001:30,007[B ]| Why sits my Phyllis discontented here, 001:30,008[B ]| Nor feels the turn of the revolving year? 001:30,009[B ]| Why on that brow dwells sorrow and dismay, 001:30,010[B ]| Where loves were wont to sport, and smiles to play? 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,011[C ]| Ah Corydon! Survey the 'Change around, 001:30,012[C ]| Through all the 'Change no wretch like me is found: 001:30,013[C ]| Alas! the day, when I, poor heedless maid, 001:30,014[C ]| Was to your rooms in Lincoln's Inn betrayed, 001:30,015[C ]| Then how you swore, how many vows you made? 001:30,016[C ]| Ye listening zephyrs, that o'erheard his love, 001:30,017[C ]| Waft the soft accents to the gods above. 001:30,018[C ]| Alas! the day; for oh eternal shame! 001:30,019[C ]| I sold you handkerchiefs, and lost my fame. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,020[B ]| When I forget the favour you bestowed, 001:30,021[B ]| Red herrings shall be spawned in Tyburn*Road, 001:30,022[B ]| Fleet*Street transformed become a flowery green, 001:30,023[B ]| And mass be sung where operas are seen. 001:30,024[B ]| The wealthy cit, and the St*James's beau, 001:30,025[B ]| Shall change their quarters, and their joys forego; 001:30,026[B ]| Stockjobbing this to Jonathan's shall come, 001:30,027[B ]| At the Groom Porter's that play off his plum. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,028[C ]| But what to me does all that love avail, 001:30,029[C ]| If whilst I doze at home o'er porter's ale, 001:30,030[C ]| Each night with wine and wenches you regale? 001:30,031[C ]| My livelong hours in anxious cares are past, 001:30,032[C ]| And raging hunger lays my beauty waste. 001:30,033[C ]| On templars spruce in vain I glances throw, 001:30,034[C ]| And with shrill voice invite them as they go. 001:30,035[C ]| Exposed in vain my glossy ribbons shine, 001:30,036[C ]| And unregarded wave upon the twine. 001:30,037[C ]| The week flies round, and when my profit's known, 001:30,038[C ]| I hardly clear enough to change a crown. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,039[B ]| Hard fate of virtue thus to be distressed, 001:30,040[B ]| Thou fairest of thy trade, and far the best! 001:30,041[B ]| As fruitmen's stalls the summer market grace, 001:30,042[B ]| And ruddy peaches them; as first in place 001:30,043[B ]| Plum-cake is seen o'er smaller pastryware, 001:30,044[B ]| And ice on that; so Phyllis does appear 001:30,045[B ]| In playhouse and in park, above the rest 001:30,046[B ]| Of belles mechanic, elegantly dressed. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,047[C ]| And yet Crepundia, that conceited fair, 001:30,048[C ]| Amidst her toys, affects a saucy air, 001:30,049[C ]| And views me hourly with a scornful eye. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,050[B ]| She might as well with bright Cleora vie. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,051[C ]| With this large petticoat I strive in vain 001:30,052[C ]| To hide my folly past, and coming pain; 001:30,053[C ]| 'Tis now no secret; she, and fifty more, 001:30,054[C ]| Observe the symptoms I had once before. 001:30,055[C ]| A second babe at Wapping must be placed, 001:30,056[C ]| When I scarce bear the charges of the last. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,057[B ]| What I could raise I sent; a pound of plums, 001:30,058[B ]| Five shillings, and a coral for his gums: 001:30,059[B ]| Tomorrow I intend him something more. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,060[C ]| I sent a frock and pair of shoes before. 001:30,000[' ]| 001:30,061[B ]| However, you shall home with me tonight, 001:30,062[B ]| Forget your cares, and revel in delight. 001:30,063[B ]| I have in store a pint or two of wine, 001:30,064[B ]| Some cracknels, and the remnant of a chine. 001:30,065[B ]| And now on either side, and all around, 001:30,066[B ]| The weighty shop-boards fall, and bars resound; 001:30,067[B ]| Each ready seamstress slips her pattens on, 001:30,068[B ]| And ties her hood, preparing to be gone. 001:31,000[' ]| 001:31,001[A ]| Seven and Ten addyd to nyne, 001:31,002[A ]| Of Fraunce hir woe thys is the sygne, 001:31,003[A ]| Tamys rivere twys y-frozen, 001:31,004[A ]| Walk sans wtynge shoes ne hosen. 001:31,005[A ]| Then comyth foorthe, Ich understonde, 001:31,006[A ]| From Toune of Stoffe to fattyn Londe 001:31,007[A ]| An herdie Chiftan, woe the morne 001:31,008[A ]| To Fraunce, that evere he was borne. 001:31,009[A ]| Than shall the Fyshe beweyle his Bosse; 001:31,010[A ]| Nor shall grin Berris make up the Losse. 001:31,011[A ]| Yonge Symnele shall agayne miscarrye: 001:31,012[A ]| And Norways pryd agayne shall marreye. 001:31,013[A ]| And from the Tree where Blosums fele, 001:31,014[A ]| Ripe fruit shall come, and all is wele. 001:31,015[A ]| Reaums shall daunce honde in honde, 001:31,016[A ]| And it shall be merye in olde Inglonde. 001:31,017[A ]| Then olde Inglonde shall be noe more, 001:31,018[A ]| And no Man shall be sorie therefore. 001:31,019[A ]| Geryon shall have three Hedes agayne 001:31,020[A ]| Till Hapsburge makyth them but twayne. 001:32,000[' ]| 001:32,000[' ]| 001:32,000[' ]| 001:32,001[A ]| An orator dismal of Nottinghamshire, 001:32,002[A ]| Who has forty years let out his conscience to hire, 001:32,003[A ]| Out of zeal for his country, and want of a place, 001:32,004[A ]| Is come up, \7vi 7& 7armis\, to break the Queen's peace. 001:32,005[A ]| He has vamped up an old speech, and the court to their sorrow, 001:32,006[A ]| Shall hear him harangue against Prior tomorrow. 001:32,007[A ]| When once he begins, he never will flinch, 001:32,008[A ]| But repeats the same note a whole day, like a finch. 001:32,009[A ]| I have heard all the speech repeated by Hoppy, 001:32,010[A ]| And, mistakes to prevent, I have obtained a copy. 001:32,000[' ]| 001:32,011[B ]| Whereas, notwithstanding, I am in great pain, 001:32,012[B ]| To hear we are making a peace without Spain; 001:32,013[B ]| But, most noble senators, 'tis a great shame 001:32,014[B ]| There should be a peace, while I'm not in game. 001:32,015[B ]| The Duke showed me all his fine house; and the Duchess 001:32,016[B ]| From her closet brought out a full purse in her clutches: 001:32,017[B ]| I talked of a peace, and they both gave a start, 001:32,018[B ]| His Grace swore by God, and her Grace let a fart: 001:32,019[B ]| My long old-fashioned pocket was presently crammed; 001:32,020[B ]| And sooner than vote for a peace I'll be damned. 001:32,021[B ]| But some will cry ""Turncoat!", and rip up old stories, 001:32,022[B ]| How I always pretended to be for the Tories: 001:32,023[B ]| I answer; the Tories were in my good graces, 001:32,024[B ]| Till all my relations were put into places. 001:32,025[B ]| But still I'm in principle ever the same, 001:32,026[B ]| And will quit my best friends, while I'm not in game. 001:32,027[B ]| When I and some others subscribed our names 001:32,028[B ]| To a plot for expelling my master King*James; 001:32,029[B ]| I withdrew my subscription by help of a blot, 001:32,030[B ]| And so might discover, or gain by the plot: 001:32,031[B ]| I had my advantage, and stood at defiance, 001:32,032[B ]| For Daniel was got from the den of the lions: 001:32,033[B ]| I came in without danger; and was I to blame? 001:32,034[B ]| For rather than hang, I would be not in game. 001:32,035[B ]| I swore to the Queen that the Prince of Hanover 001:32,036[B ]| During her sacred life, should never come over: 001:32,037[B ]| I made use of a trope; that ""an heir to invite, 001:32,038[B ]| Was like keeping her monument always in sight."" 001:32,039[B ]| But when I thought proper, I altered my note; 001:32,040[B ]| And in her own hearing I boldly did vote, 001:32,041[B ]| That her Majesty stood in great need of a tutor, 001:32,042[B ]| And must have an old, or a young coadjutor: 001:32,043[B ]| For why; I would fain have put all in a flame, 001:32,044[B ]| Because, for some reasons, I was not in game. 001:32,045[B ]| Now my new benefactors have brought me about, 001:32,046[B ]| And I'll vote against peace, with Spain, or without: 001:32,047[B ]| Though the court gives my nephews, and brothers, and cousins, 001:32,048[B ]| And all my whole family, places by dozens; 001:32,049[B ]| Yet since I know where a full purse may be found, 001:32,050[B ]| And hardly pay eighteen pence tax in the pound: 001:32,051[B ]| Since the Tories have thus disappointed my hopes, 001:32,052[B ]| And will neither regard my figures nor tropes; 001:32,053[B ]| I'll speech against peace while Dismal's my name, 001:32,054[B ]| And be a true Whig, while I am not in game. 001:33,000[' ]| 001:33,001[A ]| When a holy black \Suede\, the Son of \Bob\, 001:33,002[A ]| With a \Saint\ at his Chin, and a \Seal\ in his Fob; 001:33,003[A ]| Shall not see one New Years-day in that Year, 001:33,004[A ]| Then let old \England\ make good Chear: 001:33,005[A ]| \Windsor\ and \Bristow\ then shall be 001:33,006[A ]| Joyned together in the Low-Countree. 001:33,007[A ]| Then shall the tall black \Daventry Bird\ 001:33,008[A ]| Speak against Peace right many a Word; 001:33,009[A ]| And some shall admire his conyng Witt, 001:33,010[A ]| For many good \Groats\ his Tongue shall slitt: 001:33,011[A ]| But spight of the \Harpy\ that \crawls on all four\, 001:33,012[A ]| There shall be Peace, pardie, and War no more. 001:33,013[A ]| But \Englond\ must cry alack and well a day, 001:33,014[A ]| If the \Stick\ be taken from the \dead Sea\. 001:33,015[A ]| And dear \Englond\, if ought I understond. 001:33,016[A ]| Beware of \Carrots\ from \Northumberland\. 001:33,017[A ]| \Carrots\ sown \Thyn\ a deep root may get, 001:33,018[A ]| If so be they are in \Sommer\ set: 001:33,019[A ]| Their \Conyngs mark\ thou, for I have been told, 001:33,020[A ]| They \Assassine\ when young, and \Poison\ when old. 001:33,021[A ]| Root out these \Carrots\, O Thou, whose \Name\ 001:33,022[A ]| Is backwards and forwards always the same; 001:33,023[A ]| And keep close to Thee always that \Name\, 001:33,024[A ]| Which backwards and forwards is almost the same. 001:33,025[A ]| And \Englond\ wouldst thou be happy still, 001:33,026[A ]| Bury those \Carrots\ under a \Hill\. 001:34,000[' ]| 001:34,001[A ]| This day (the year I dare not tell) 001:34,002[A ]| Apollo played the midwife's part; 001:34,003[A ]| Into the world Corinna fell, 001:34,004[A ]| And he endowed her with his art. 001:34,005[A ]| But Cupid with a satyr comes; 001:34,006[A ]| Both softly to the cradle creep: 001:34,007[A ]| Both stroke her hands, and rub her gums, 001:34,008[A ]| While the poor child lay fast asleep. 001:34,009[A ]| The Cupid thus: 001:34,009@c | ""This little maid 001:34,010@c | Of love shall always speak and write;"" 001:34,011@d | ""And I pronounce"", 001:34,011[A ]| the satyr said, 001:34,012@d | ""The world shall feel her scratch and bite."" 001:34,013[A ]| Her talent she displayed betimes; 001:34,014[A ]| For in a few revolving moons, 001:34,015[A ]| She seemed to laugh and squall in rhymes, 001:34,016[A ]| And all her gestures were lampoons. 001:34,017[A ]| At six years old, the subtle jade 001:34,018[A ]| Stole to the pantry-door, and found 001:34,019[A ]| The butler with my Lady's maid; 001:34,020[A ]| And you may swear the tale went round. 001:34,021[A ]| She made a song, how little Miss 001:34,022[A ]| Was kissed and slobbered by a lad: 001:34,023[A ]| And how, when Master went to piss, 001:34,024[A ]| Miss came, and peeped at all he had. 001:34,025[A ]| At twelve, a poet, and coquette; 001:34,026[A ]| Marries for love, half whore, half wife; 001:34,027[A ]| Cuckolds, elopes, and runs in debt; 001:34,028[A ]| Turns authoress, and is Curll's for life. 001:34,029[A ]| Her commonplace book all gallant is, 001:34,030[A ]| Of scandal now a cornucopia; 001:34,031[A ]| She pours it out in an \Atlantis\, 001:34,032[A ]| Or \Memoirs of the New Utopia\. 001:35,000[' ]| 001:35,000[' ]| 001:35,000[' ]| 001:35,001[A ]| Atlas, we read in ancient song, 001:35,002[A ]| Was so exceeding tall and strong, 001:35,003[A ]| He bore the skies upon his back, 001:35,004[A ]| Just as a pedlar does his pack; 001:35,005[A ]| But, as a pedlar overpressed, 001:35,006[A ]| Unloads upon a stall to rest; 001:35,007[A ]| Or when he can no longer stand, 001:35,008[A ]| Desires a friend to lend a hand; 001:35,009[A ]| So Atlas, lest the ponderous spheres 001:35,010[A ]| Should sink and fall about his ears, 001:35,011[A ]| Got Hercules to bear the pile, 001:35,012[A ]| That he might sit and rest awhile. 001:35,013[A ]| Yet Hercules was not so strong, 001:35,014[A ]| Nor could have borne it half so long. 001:35,015[A ]| Great statesmen are in this condition; 001:35,016[A ]| And Atlas is a politician; 001:35,017[A ]| A premier minister of state; 001:35,018[A ]| Alcides, one of second rate. 001:35,019[A ]| Suppose then Atlas ne'er so wise, 001:35,020[A ]| Yet when the weight of kingdom lies 001:35,021[A ]| Too long upon his single shoulders, 001:35,022[A ]| Sink down he must, or find upholders. 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,001[A ]| A widow kept a favourite cat, 001:36,002[A ]| At first a gentle creature; 001:36,003[A ]| But when he was grown sleek and fat, 001:36,004[A ]| With many a mouse, and many a rat, 001:36,005[A ]| He soon disclosed his nature. 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,006[A ]| The fox and he were friends of old, 001:36,007[A ]| Nor could they now be parted; 001:36,008[A ]| They nightly slunk to rob the fold, 001:36,009[A ]| Devoured the lambs, the fleeces sold, 001:36,010[A ]| And Puss grew lion-hearted. 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,011[A ]| He scratched her maid, he stole the cream, 001:36,012[A ]| He tore her best laced pinner; 001:36,013[A ]| Nor Chanticleer upon the beam, 001:36,014[A ]| Nor chick, nor duckling 'scapes, when Grim 001:36,015[A ]| Invites the fox to dinner. 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,016[A ]| The dame full wisely did decree, 001:36,017[A ]| For fear he should dispatch more, 001:36,018[A ]| That the false wretch should worried be: 001:36,019[A ]| But in a saucy manner he 001:36,020[A ]| Thus speeched it like a Lechmere. 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,021@c | ""Must I, against all right and law, 001:36,022@c | Like pole-cat vile be treated? 001:36,023@c | I! who so long with tooth and claw 001:36,024@c | Have kept domestic mice in awe, 001:36,025@c | And foreign foes defeated! 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,026@c | ""Your golden pippins, and your pies, 001:36,027@c | How oft have I defended? 001:36,028@c | 'Tis true, the pinner which you prize 001:36,029@c | I tore in frolic; to your eyes 001:36,030@c | I never harm intended. 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,031@c | ""I am a cat of honour ~~ "" 001:34,031@d | ""Stay,"" 001:36,032[A ]| Quoth she, 001:34,032@d | ""no longer parley; 001:36,033@d | Whate'er you did in battle slay, 001:36,034@d | By law of arms became your prey, 001:36,035@d | I hope you won it fairly. 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,036@d | ""Of this, we'll grant you stand acquit, 001:36,037@d | But not of your outrages: 001:36,038@d | Tell me, perfidious! was it fit 001:36,039@d | To make my cream a \perquisite\, 001:36,040@d | And steal to mend your wages? 001:36,000[' ]| 001:36,041@d | ""So flagrant is thy insolence, 001:36,042@d | So vile thy breach of trust is; 001:36,043@d | That longer with thee to dispense, 001:36,044@d | Were want of power, or want of sense: 001:36,045@d | Here, Towser! ~~ Do him justice."" 001:37,000[' ]| 001:37,001[A ]| Midas, we are in story told, 001:37,002[A ]| Turned everything he touched to gold: 001:37,003[A ]| He chipped his bread; the pieces round 001:37,004[A ]| Glittered like spangles on the ground: 001:37,005[A ]| A codling e'er it went his lip in, 001:37,006[A ]| Would straight become a golden pippin: 001:37,007[A ]| He called for drink, you saw him sup 001:37,008[A ]| Potable gold in golden cup. 001:37,009[A ]| His empty paunch that he might fill, 001:37,010[A ]| He sucked his victuals through a quill; 001:37,011[A ]| Untouched it passed between his grinders, 001:37,012[A ]| Or't had been happy for gold-finders. 001:37,013[A ]| He cocked his hat, you would have said 001:37,014[A ]| Mambrino's helm adorned his head. 001:37,015[A ]| Whene'er he chanced his hands to lay, 001:37,016[A ]| On magazines of corn or hay, 001:37,017[A ]| Gold ready coined appeared, instead 001:37,018[A ]| Of paltry provender and bread: 001:37,019[A ]| Hence we are by wise farmers told, 001:37,020[A ]| Old hay is equal to old gold; 001:37,021[A ]| And hence a critic deep maintains, 001:37,022[A ]| We learned to weigh our gold by grains. 001:37,023[A ]| This fool had got a lucky hit, 001:37,024[A ]| And people fancied he had wit: 001:37,025[A ]| Two gods their skill in music tried, 001:37,026[A ]| And both chose Midas to decide; 001:37,027[A ]| He against Phoebus' harp decreed, 001:37,028[A ]| And gave it for Pan's oaten reed: 001:37,029[A ]| The god of wit to show his grudge, 001:37,030[A ]| Clapped asses' ears upon the judge, 001:37,031[A ]| A goodly pair, erect and wide, 001:37,032[A ]| Which he could neither gild nor hide. 001:37,033[A ]| And now the virtue of his hands, 001:37,034[A ]| Was lost among Paotolus sands, 001:37,035[A ]| Against whose torrent while he swims, 001:37,036[A ]| The golden scurf peels off his limbs: 001:37,037[A ]| Fame spreads the news, and people travel 001:37,038[A ]| From far, to gather golden gravel; 001:37,039[A ]| Midas, exposed to all their jeers, 001:37,040[A ]| Had lost his art, and kept his ears. 001:37,041[A ]| This tale inclines the gentle reader, 001:37,042[A ]| To think upon a certain leader, 001:37,043[A ]| To whom from Midas down, descends 001:37,044[A ]| That virtue in the fingers' ends: 001:37,045[A ]| What else by perquisites are meant, 001:37,046[A ]| By pensions, bribes, and three per cent? 001:37,047[A ]| By places and commissions sold, 001:37,048[A ]| And turning dung itself to gold? 001:37,049[A ]| By starving in the midst of store, 001:37,050[A ]| As t'other Midas did before? 001:37,051[A ]| None e'er did modern Midas choose, 001:37,052[A ]| Subject or patron of his muse, 001:37,053[A ]| But found him thus their merit scan, 001:37,054[A ]| That Phoebus must give place to Pan: 001:37,055[A ]| He values not the poet's praise, 001:37,056[A ]| Nor will exchange his plums for bays: 001:37,057[A ]| To Pan alone, rich misers call, 001:37,058[A ]| And there's the jest, for Pan is \all\: 001:37,059[A ]| Here English wits will be to seek, 001:37,060[A ]| Howe'er, 'tis all one in the Greek. 001:37,061[A ]| Besides, it plainly now appears, 001:37,062[A ]| Our Midas too has asses' ears; 001:37,063[A ]| Where every fool in his mouth applies, 001:37,064[A ]| And whispers in a thousand lies; 001:37,065[A ]| Such gross delusions could not pass, 001:37,066[A ]| Through any ears but of an ass 001:37,067[A ]| But gold defiles with frequent touch, 001:37,068[A ]| There's nothing fouls the hands so much: 001:37,069[A ]| And scholars give it for the cause, 001:37,070[A ]| Of British Midas' dirty paws; 001:37,071[A ]| Which while the senate strove to scour, 001:37,072[A ]| They washed away the chemic power. 001:37,073[A ]| While he his utmost strength applied, 001:37,074[A ]| To swim against this popular tide, 001:37,075[A ]| The golden spoils flew off apace; 001:37,076[A ]| Here fell a pension, there a place: 001:37,077[A ]| The torrent, merciless, imbibes 001:37,078[A ]| Commissions, perquisites, and bribes; 001:37,079[A ]| By their own weight sunk to the bottom; 001:37,080[A ]| Much good may do 'em that have caught 'em. 001:37,081[A ]| And Midas now neglected stands, 001:37,082[A ]| With asses' ears, and dirty hands. 001:38,000[' ]| 001:38,000[' ]| 001:38,000[' ]| 001:38,001[A ]| If, dearest ""Dismal"", you for once can dine 001:38,002[A ]| Upon a single dish, and tavern wine, 001:38,003[A ]| Toland to you this invitation sends, 001:38,004[A ]| To eat the Calves' Head with your trusty friends. 001:38,005[A ]| Suspend a while your vain ambitious hopes, 001:38,006[A ]| Leave hunting after bribes, forget your tropes: 001:38,007[A ]| Tomorrow we our mystic feast prepare, 001:38,008[A ]| Where thou, our latest proselyte, shalt share: 001:38,009[A ]| When we, by proper signs and symbols tell, 001:38,010[A ]| How, by brave hands, the royal traitor fell; 001:38,011[A ]| The meat shall represent the tyrant's head, 001:38,012[A ]| The wine, his blood, our predecessors shed: 001:38,013[A ]| Whilst an alluding hymn some artist sings, 001:38,014[A ]| We toast confusion to the race of kings: 001:38,015[A ]| At monarchy we nobly show our spite, 001:38,016[A ]| And talk what fools call treason all the night. 001:38,017[A ]| Who, by disgrace or ill fortune sunk, 001:38,018[A ]| Feels not his soul enlivened when he's drunk? 001:38,019[A ]| Wine can clear up Godolphin's cloudy face, 001:38,020[A ]| And fill Jack*Smith with hopes to keep his place; 001:38,021[A ]| By force of wine even Scarborough is brave, 001:38,022[A ]| Hal grows more pert, and Somers not so grave: 001:38,023[A ]| Wine can give Portland wit, and Cleveland sense, 001:38,024[A ]| Montagu learning, Bolton eloquence; 001:38,025[A ]| Cholmondley, when drunk, can never lose his wand, 001:38,026[A ]| And Lincoln then imagines he has land. 001:38,027[A ]| My province is, to see that all be right, 001:38,028[A ]| Glasses and linen clean, and pewter bright; 001:38,029[A ]| From our mysterious club to keep out spies, 001:38,030[A ]| And Tories (dressed like waiters) in disguise. 001:38,031[A ]| You shall be coupled as you best approve, 001:38,032[A ]| Seated at table next the men you love. 001:38,033[A ]| Sunderland, Orford, Boyle and Richmond's Grace 001:38,034[A ]| Will come; and Hampden shall have Walpole's place. 001:38,035[A ]| Wharton, unless prevented by a whore, 001:38,036[A ]| Will hardly fail, and there is room for more: 001:38,037[A ]| But I love elbow-room whene'er I drink, 001:38,038[A ]| And honest Harry is too apt to stink. 001:38,039[A ]| Let no pretence of business make you stay, 001:38,040[A ]| Yet take one word of counsel by the way: 001:38,041[A ]| If Guernsey calls, send word you're gone abroad; 001:38,042[A ]| He'll tease you with King*Charles and Bishop*Laud, 001:38,043[A ]| Or make you fast, and carry you to prayers: 001:38,044[A ]| But if he will break in, and walk upstairs, 001:38,045[A ]| Steal by the back-door out, and leave him there; 001:38,046[A ]| Then order Squash to call a hackney chair. 001:38,000[' ]| 001:39,000[' ]| 001:39,000[' ]| 001:39,000[' ]| 001:39,000[' ]| 001:39,000[' ]| 001:39,001[A ]| Spite of Dutch friends and English foes, 001:39,002[A ]| Poor Britain shall have peace at last; 001:39,003[A ]| Holland got towns, and we got blows, 001:39,004[A ]| But Dunkirk's ours, we'll hold it fast: 001:39,005[A ]| We have got it in a string, 001:39,006[A ]| And the Whigs may all go swing, 001:39,007[A ]| For among good friends, I love to be plain; 001:39,008[A ]| All their false deluded hopes, 001:39,009[A ]| Will, or ought to end in ropes; 001:39,010[A ]| But the Queen shall enjoy her own again. 001:39,000[' ]| 001:39,011[A ]| Sunderland's run out of his wits, 001:39,012[A ]| And Dismal double-dismal looks; 001:39,013[A ]| Wharton can only swear by fits, 001:39,014[A ]| And strutting Hal is off the hooks; 001:39,015[A ]| Old Godolphin full of spleen, 001:39,016[A ]| Made false moves, and lost his Queen; 001:39,017[A ]| Harry looked fierce, and shook his ragged mane: 001:39,018[A ]| But a prince of high renown, 001:39,019[A ]| Swore he'd rather lose a crown, 001:39,020[A ]| Than the Queen shall enjoy her own again. 001:39,000[' ]| 001:39,021[A ]| Our merchants ships may cut the line, 001:39,022[A ]| And not be snapped by privateers, 001:39,023[A ]| And commoners who love good wine, 001:39,024[A ]| Will drink it now as well as peers: 001:39,025[A ]| Landed men shall have their rent, 001:39,026[A ]| Yet our stocks rise cent per cent, 001:39,027[A ]| The Dutch from hence shall no more millions drain; 001:39,028[A ]| We'll bring on us no more debts, 001:39,029[A ]| Nor with bankrupts fill gazettes, 001:39,030[A ]| And the Queen shall enjoy her own again. 001:39,000[' ]| 001:39,031[A ]| The towns we took ne'er did us good, 001:39,032[A ]| What signified the French to beat? 001:39,033[A ]| We spent our money and our blood, 001:39,034[A ]| To make the Dutchmen proud and great: 001:39,035[A ]| But the Lord of Oxford swears, 001:39,036[A ]| Dunkirk never shall be theirs, 001:39,037[A ]| The Dutch-hearted Whigs may rail and complain; 001:39,038[A ]| But true Englishmen will fill 001:39,039[A ]| A good health to General*Hill, 001:39,040[A ]| For the Queen now enjoys her own again. 001:40,000[' ]| 001:40,001[A ]| Old Lewis thus the terms of peace to burnish, 001:40,002[A ]| Has lately let out Dunkirk ready furnished: 001:40,003[A ]| But whether 'tis by lease, or copyhold, 001:40,004[A ]| Or tenure \7in 7capite\, we've not been told: 001:40,005[A ]| But this we hope, if yet he pulls his horns in, 001:40,006[A ]| He'll be obliged to give his tenants warning. 001:41,000[' ]| <\To\ Lord Harley, \since\ Earl of Oxford,> 001:41,000[' ]| <\on\ His Marriage> 001:41,001[A ]| Among the numbers who employ 001:41,002[A ]| Their tongues and pens to give you joy, 001:41,003[A ]| Dear Harley, generous youth, admit 001:41,004[A ]| What friendship dictates more than wit. 001:41,005[A ]| Forgive me, when I fondly thought 001:41,006[A ]| (By frequent observation taught) 001:41,007[A ]| A spirit so informed as yours 001:41,008[A ]| Could never prosper in amours. 001:41,009[A ]| The god of wit, and light, and arts, 001:41,010[A ]| With all acquired and natural parts, 001:41,011[A ]| Whose harp could savage beasts enchant, 001:41,012[A ]| Was an unfortunate gallant. 001:41,013[A ]| Had Bacchus after Daphne reeled, 001:41,014[A ]| The nymph had soon been brought to yield; 001:41,015[A ]| Or, had embroidered Mars pursued, 001:41,016[A ]| The nymph would ne'er have been a prude. 001:41,017[A ]| Ten thousand footsteps, full in view, 001:41,018[A ]| Mark out the way where Daphne flew. 001:41,019[A ]| For such is all the sex's flight, 001:41,020[A ]| They fly from learning, wit, and light: 001:41,021[A ]| They fly, and none can overtake 001:41,022[A ]| But some gay coxcomb, or a rake. 001:41,023[A ]| How then, dear Harley, could I guess 001:41,024[A ]| That you should meet, in love, success? 001:41,025[A ]| For, if those ancient tales be true, 001:41,026[A ]| Phoebus was as beautiful as you: 001:41,027[A ]| Yet Daphne never slacked her pace, 001:41,028[A ]| For wit and learning spoilt his face. 001:41,029[A ]| And, since the same resemblance held 001:41,030[A ]| In gifts, wherein you both excelled, 001:41,031[A ]| I fancied every nymph would run 001:41,032[A ]| From you, as from Latona's son. 001:41,033[A ]| Then where, said I, shall Harley find 001:41,034[A ]| A virgin of superior mind, 001:41,035[A ]| With wit and virtue to discover, 001:41,036[A ]| And pay the merit of her lover? 001:41,037[A ]| This character shall Cavendish claim, 001:41,038[A ]| Born to retrieve her sex's fame. 001:41,039[A ]| The chief among that glittering crowd, 001:41,040[A ]| Of titles, birth, and fortune proud, 001:41,041[A ]| (As fools are insolent and vain) 001:41,042[A ]| Madly aspired to wear her chain: 001:41,043[A ]| But Pallas, guardian of the maid, 001:41,044[A ]| Descending to her charge's aid, 001:41,045[A ]| Held out Medusa's snaky locks, 001:41,046[A ]| Which stupefied them all to stocks. 001:41,047[A ]| The nymph, with indignation, viewed 001:41,048[A ]| The dull, the noisy, and the lewd: 001:41,049[A ]| For Pallas, with celestial light, 001:41,050[A ]| Had purified her mortal sight; 001:41,051[A ]| Showed her the virtues all combined, 001:41,052[A ]| Fresh blooming, in young Harley's mind. 001:41,053[A ]| Terrestrial nymphs, by formal arts, 001:41,054[A ]| Display their various nets for hearts: 001:41,055[A ]| Their looks are all by method set, 001:41,056[A ]| When to be prude, and when coquette; 001:41,057[A ]| Yet, wanting skill and power to choose, 001:41,058[A ]| Their only pride is to refuse. 001:41,059[A ]| But, when a goddess would bestow 001:41,060[A ]| Her love on some bright youth below, 001:41,061[A ]| Round all the earth she casts her eyes; 001:41,062[A ]| And then, descending from the skies, 001:41,063[A ]| Makes choice of him she fancies best, 001:41,064[A ]| And bids the ravished youth be blessed. 001:41,065[A ]| Thus the bright empress of the morn 001:41,066[A ]| Chose, for her spouse, a mortal born: 001:41,067[A ]| The goddess made advances first, 001:41,068[A ]| Else what aspiring hero durst? 001:41,069[A ]| Though, like a virgin of fifteen, 001:41,070[A ]| She blushes when by mortals seen; 001:41,071[A ]| Still blushes, and with speed retires, 001:41,072[A ]| When Sol pursues her with his fires. 001:41,073[A ]| Diana thus, heaven's chastest queen, 001:41,074[A ]| Struck with Endymion's graceful mien, 001:41,075[A ]| Down from her silver chariot came, 001:41,076[A ]| And to the shepherd owed her flame. 001:41,077[A ]| Thus Cavendish, as Aurora bright, 001:41,078[A ]| And chaster than the Queen of Night, 001:41,079[A ]| Descended from her sphere to find 001:41,080[A ]| A mortal of superior kind. 001:42,000[' ]| 001:42,001[A ]| The shepherds and the nymphs were seen 001:42,002[A ]| Pleading before the Cyprian queen. 001:42,003[A ]| The counsel for the fair began, 001:42,004[A ]| Accusing that false creature, man: 001:42,005[A ]| The brief with weighty crimes was charged, 001:42,006[A ]| On which the pleader much enlarged; 001:42,007[A ]| That 001:42,007@c | ""Cupid now has lost his art, 001:42,008@c | Or blunts the point of every dart: 001:42,009@c | His altar now no longer smokes, 001:42,010@c | His mother's aid no youth invokes: 001:42,011@c | This tempts freethinkers to refine, 001:42,012@c | And brings in doubt their power divine. 001:42,013@c | Now love is dwindled to intrigue, 001:42,014@c | And marriage grown a money-league. 001:42,015@c | Which crimes aforesaid"" 001:42,015[A ]| (with her leave) 001:42,016@c | ""Where"" 001:42,016[A ]| (as he humbly did conceive) 001:42,017@c | ""Against our sovereign lady's peace, 001:42,018@c | Against the statute in that case, 001:42,019@c | Against her dignity and crown."" 001:42,020[A ]| Then prayed an answer, and sat down. 001:42,021[A ]| The nymphs with scorn beheld their foes: 001:42,022[A ]| When the defendant's counsel rose; 001:42,023[A ]| And, what no lawyer ever lacked, 001:42,024[A ]| With impudence owned all the fact: 001:42,025[A ]| But, what the gentlest heart would vex, 001:42,026[A ]| Laid all the fault on t'other sex. 001:42,027[A ]| That 001:42,027@d | ""Modern love is no such thing 001:42,028@d | As what those ancient poets sing; 001:42,029@d | A fire celestial, chaste, refined, 001:42,030@d | Conceived and kindled in the mind. 001:42,031@d | Which having found an equal flame, 001:42,032@d | Unites, and both become the same, 001:42,033@d | In different breasts together burn, 001:42,034@d | Together both to ashes turn. 001:42,035@d | But women now feel no such fire; 001:42,036@d | And only know the gross desire: 001:42,037@d | Their passions move in lower spheres, 001:42,038@d | Where'er caprice or folly steers: 001:42,039@d | A dog, a parrot, or an ape, 001:42,040@d | Or some worse brute in human shape, 001:42,041@d | Engross the fancies of the fair, 001:42,042@d | The few soft moments they can spare, 001:42,043@d | From visits to receive and pay; 001:42,044@d | From scandal, politics, and play, 001:42,045@d | From fans and flounces, and brocades, 001:42,046@d | From equipage and park-parades; 001:42,047@d | From all the thousand female toys, 001:42,048@d | From every trifle that employs 001:42,049@d | The out or inside of their heads, 001:42,050@d | Between their toilets and their beds. 001:42,051@d | ""In a dull stream, which moving slow 001:42,052@d | You hardly see the current flow; 001:42,053@d | If a small breeze obstructs the course, 001:42,054@d | It whirls about for want of force, 001:42,055@d | And in its narrow circle gathers 001:42,056@d | Nothing but chaff, and straws, and feathers: 001:42,057@d | The current of a female mind 001:42,058@d | Stops thus, and turns with every wind; 001:42,059@d | Thus whirling round, together draws 001:42,060@d | Fools, fops, and rakes, for chaff and straws. 001:42,061@d | Hence we conclude, no women's hearts 001:42,062@d | Are won by virtue, wit, and parts; 001:42,063@d | Nor are the men of sense to blame, 001:42,064@d | For breasts incapable of flame; 001:42,065@d | The fault must on the nymphs be placed, 001:42,066@d | Grown so corrupted in their taste."" 001:42,067[A ]| The pleader having spoke his best, 001:42,068[A ]| Had witness ready to attest, 001:42,069[A ]| Who fairly could on oath depose, 001:42,070[A ]| When questions on the fact arose, 001:42,071[A ]| That every article was true; 001:42,072@d | ""Nor further those deponents knew"": 001:42,073[A ]| Therefore he humbly would insist, 001:42,074[A ]| The bill might be with costs dismissed. 001:42,075[A ]| The cause appeared of so much weight, 001:42,076[A ]| That Venus, from her judgement-seat, 001:42,077[A ]| Desired them not to talk so loud, 001:42,078[A ]| Else she must interpose a cloud: 001:42,079[A ]| For if the heavenly folks should know 001:42,080[A ]| These pleadings in the courts below, 001:42,081[A ]| That mortals here disdain to love; 001:42,082[A ]| She ne'er could show her face above. 001:42,083[A ]| For gods, their betters, are too wise 001:42,084[A ]| To value that which men despise: 001:42,085@b | ""And then,"" 001:42,085[A ]| said she, 001:42,085@b | ""my son and I 001:42,086@b | Must stroll in air 'twixt land and sky; 001:42,087@b | Or else, shut out from heaven and earth, 001:42,088@b | Fly to the sea, my place of birth; 001:42,089@b | There live with daggled mermaids pent, 001:42,090@b | And keep on fish perpetual Lent."" 001:42,091[A ]| But since the case appeared so nice, 001:42,092[A ]| She thought it best to take advice. 001:42,093[A ]| The muses, by their king's permission, 001:42,094[A ]| Though foes to love, attend the session; 001:42,095[A ]| And on the right hand took their places 001:42,096[A ]| In order; on the left, the Graces: 001:42,097[A ]| To whom she might her doubts propose 001:42,098[A ]| On all emergencies that rose. 001:42,099[A ]| The muses oft were seen to frown; 001:42,100[A ]| The Graces half ashamed looked down; 001:42,101[A ]| And 'twas observed, there were but few 001:42,102[A ]| Of either sex, among the crew, 001:42,103[A ]| Whom she or her assessors knew. 001:42,104[A ]| The goddess soon began to see 001:42,105[A ]| Things were not ripe for a decree: 001:42,106[A ]| And said, she must consult her books, 001:42,107[A ]| The lover's \Fleta's\, Bractons, Cokes. 001:42,108[A ]| First to a dapper clerk she beckoned, 001:42,109[A ]| To turn to Ovid, book the second; 001:42,110[A ]| She then referred them to a place 001:42,111[A ]| In Virgil (\7vide\ Dido's case): 001:42,112[A ]| As for Tibullus's reports, 001:42,113[A ]| They never passed for laws in courts; 001:42,114[A ]| For Cowley's briefs, and pleas of Waller, 001:42,115[A ]| Still their authority was smaller. 001:42,116[A ]| There was on both sides much to say: 001:42,117[A ]| She'd hear the cause another day; 001:42,118[A ]| And so she did, and then a third: 001:42,119[A ]| She heard it ~~ there she kept her word; 001:42,120[A ]| But with rejoinders and replies, 001:42,121[A ]| Long bills and answers, stuffed with lies; 001:42,122[A ]| Demur, imparlance, and essoign, 001:42,123[A ]| The parties ne'er could issue join: 001:42,124[A ]| For sixteen years the cause was spun, 001:42,125[A ]| And then stood where it first begun. 001:42,126[A ]| Now, gentle Clio, sing or say, 001:42,127[A ]| What Venus meant by this delay. 001:42,128[A ]| The goddess much perplexed in mind, 001:42,129[A ]| To see her empire thus declined, 001:42,130[A ]| When first this grand debate arose 001:42,131[A ]| Above her wisdom to compose, 001:42,132[A ]| Conceived a project in her head, 001:42,133[A ]| To work her ends; which if it sped, 001:42,134[A ]| Would show the merits of the cause, 001:42,135[A ]| Far better than consulting laws. 001:42,136[A ]| In a glad hour Lucina's aid 001:42,137[A ]| Produced on earth a wondrous maid, 001:42,138[A ]| On whom the Queen of Love was bent 001:42,139[A ]| To try a new experiment: 001:42,140[A ]| She threw her law-books on the shelf, 001:42,141[A ]| And thus debated with herself. 001:42,142@b | ""Since men allege, they ne'er can find 001:42,143@b | Those beauties in a female mind, 001:42,144@b | Which raise a flame that will endure 001:42,145@b | For ever, uncorrupt and pure; 001:42,146@b | If 'tis with reason they complain, 001:42,147@b | This infant shall restore my reign. 001:42,148@b | I'll search where every virtue dwells, 001:42,149@b | From courts inclusive, down to cells, 001:42,150@b | What preachers talk, or sages write, 001:42,151@b | These I will gather and unite, 001:42,152@b | And represent them to mankind 001:42,153@b | Collected in the infant's mind."" 001:42,154[A ]| This said, she plucks in heaven's high bowers 001:42,155[A ]| A sprig of amaranthine flowers, 001:42,156[A ]| In nectar thrice infuses bays, 001:42,157[A ]| Three times refined in Titan's rays: 001:42,158[A ]| Then calls the Graces to her aid, 001:42,159[A ]| And sprinkles thrice the new-born maid: 001:42,160[A ]| From whence the tender skin assumes 001:42,161[A ]| A sweetness above all perfumes; 001:42,162[A ]| From whence a cleanliness remains, 001:42,163[A ]| Incapable of outward stains; 001:42,164[A ]| From whence that decency of mind, 001:42,165[A ]| So lovely in the female kind; 001:42,166[A ]| Where not one careless thought intrudes, 001:42,167[A ]| Less modest than the speech of prudes; 001:42,168[A ]| Where never blush was called in aid; 001:42,169[A ]| That spurious virtue in a maid; 001:42,170[A ]| A virtue but at second hand; 001:42,171[A ]| They blush because they understand. 001:42,172[A ]| The Graces next would act their part, 001:42,173[A ]| And showed but little of their art; 001:42,174[A ]| Their work was half already done, 001:42,175[A ]| The child with native beauty shone; 001:42,176[A ]| The outward form no help required: 001:42,177[A ]| Each breathing on her thrice, inspired 001:42,178[A ]| That gentle, soft, engaging air, 001:42,179[A ]| Which, in old times, adorned the fair; 001:42,180[A ]| And said, 001:42,180@x | ""Vanessa be the name, 001:42,181@x | By which thou shalt be known to fame: 001:42,182@x | Vanessa, by the gods enrolled: 001:42,183@x | Her name on earth ~~ shall not be told."" 001:42,184[A ]| But still the work was not complete; 001:42,185[A ]| When Venus thought on a deceit: 001:42,186[A ]| Drawn by her doves, away she flies, 001:42,187[A ]| And finds out Pallas in the skies: 001:42,188@b | ""Dear Pallas, I have been this morn 001:42,189@b | To see a lovely infant born: 001:42,190@b | A boy in yonder isle below, 001:42,191@b | So like my own, without his bow: 001:42,192@b | By beauty could your heart be won, 001:42,193@b | You'd swear it is Apollo's son: 001:42,194@b | But it shall ne'er be said, a child 001:42,195@b | So hopeful, has by me been spoiled; 001:42,196@b | I have enough besides to spare, 001:42,197@b | And give him wholly to your care."" 001:42,198[A ]| Wisdom's above suspecting wiles: 001:42,199[A ]| The Queen of Learning gravely smiles; 001:42,200[A ]| Down from Olympus comes with joy, 001:42,201[A ]| Mistakes Vanessa for a boy; 001:42,202[A ]| Then sows within her tender mind 001:42,203[A ]| Seeds long unknown to womankind, 001:42,204[A ]| For manly bosoms chiefly fit, 001:42,205[A ]| The seeds of knowledge, judgement, wit. 001:42,206[A ]| Her soul was suddenly endued 001:42,207[A ]| With justice, truth and fortitude; 001:42,208[A ]| With honour, which no breath can stain, 001:42,209[A ]| Which malice must attack in vain; 001:42,210[A ]| With open heart and bounteous hand: 001:42,211[A ]| But Pallas here was at a stand; 001:42,212[A ]| She knew in our degenerate days 001:42,213[A ]| Bare virtue could not live on praise, 001:42,214[A ]| That meat must be with money bought; 001:42,215[A ]| She therefore, upon second thought, 001:42,216[A ]| Infused, yet as it were by stealth, 001:42,217[A ]| Some small regard for state and weaith: 001:42,218[A ]| Of which, as she grew up, there stayed 001:42,219[A ]| A tincture in her prudent maid: 001:42,220[A ]| She managed her estate with care, 001:42,221[A ]| Yet liked three footmen to her chair. 001:42,222[A ]| But lest he should neglect his studies 001:42,223[A ]| Like a young heir, the thrifty goddess 001:42,224[A ]| (For fear young master should be spoiled) 001:42,225[A ]| Would use him like a younger child; 001:42,226[A ]| And, after long computing, found 001:42,227[A ]| 'Twould come to just five thousand pound. 001:42,228[A ]| The Queen of Love was pleased, and proud, 001:42,229[A ]| To see Vanessa thus endowed; 001:42,230[A ]| She doubted not but such a dame 001:42,231[A ]| Through every breast would dart a flame; 001:42,232[A ]| That every rich and lordly swain 001:42,233[A ]| With pride would drag about her chain; 001:42,234[A ]| That scholars would foresake their books 001:42,235[A ]| To study bright Vanessa's looks: 001:42,236[A ]| As she advanced, that womankind 001:42,237[A ]| Would by her model form their mind, 001:42,238[A ]| And all their conduct would be tried 001:42,239[A ]| By her, as an unerring guide. 001:42,240[A ]| Offending daughters oft would hear 001:42,241[A ]| Vanessa's praise rung in their ear: 001:42,242[A ]| Miss*Betty when she does a fault, 001:42,243[A ]| Lets fall a knife, or spills the salt, 001:42,244[A ]| Will thus be by her mother chid, 001:42,245@x | ""'Tis what Vanessa never did."" 001:42,246@b | ""Thus by the nymphs and swains adored, 001:42,247@b | My power shall be again restored, 001:42,248@b | And happy lovers bless my reign ~~ "" 001:42,249[A ]| So Venus hoped, but hoped in vain. 001:42,250[A ]| For when in time the martial maid 001:42,251[A ]| Found out the trick that Venus played, 001:42,252[A ]| She shakes her helm, she knits her brows, 001:42,253[A ]| And fired with indignation vows, 001:42,254[A ]| Tomorrow, ere the setting sun, 001:42,255[A ]| She'd all undo, that she had done. 001:42,256[A ]| But in the poets we may find, 001:42,257[A ]| A wholesome law, time out of mind, 001:42,258[A ]| Had been confirmed by fate's decree; 001:42,259[A ]| That gods, of whatsoe'er degree, 001:42,260[A ]| Resume not what themselves have given, 001:42,261[A ]| Or any brother god in heaven: 001:42,262[A ]| Which keeps the peace among the gods, 001:42,263[A ]| Or they must always be at odds. 001:42,264[A ]| And Pallas, if she broke the laws, 001:42,265[A ]| Must yield her foe the stronger cause; 001:42,266[A ]| A shame to one so much adored 001:42,267[A ]| For wisdom, at Jove's council-board. 001:42,268[A ]| Besides, she feared, the Queen of Love 001:42,269[A ]| Would meet with better friends above. 001:42,270[A ]| And though she must with grief reflect, 001:42,271[A ]| To see a mortal virgin decked 001:42,272[A ]| With graces, hitherto unknown 001:42,273[A ]| To female breasts, except her own; 001:42,274[A ]| Yet she would act as best became 001:42,275[A ]| A goddess of unspotted fame: 001:42,276[A ]| She knew, by augury divine, 001:42,277[A ]| Venus would fail in her design: 001:42,278[A ]| She studied well the point, and found 001:42,279[A ]| Her foe's conclusions were not sound, 001:42,280[A ]| From premises erroneous brought, 001:42,281[A ]| And therefore the deductions naught; 001:42,282[A ]| And must have contrary effects 001:42,283[A ]| To what her treacherous foe expects. 001:42,284[A ]| In proper season Pallas meets 001:42,285[A ]| The Queen of Love, whom thus she greets 001:42,286[A ]| (For Gods,we are by Homer told, 001:42,287[A ]| Can in celestial language scold), 001:42,288@e | ""Perfidious goddess! but in vain 001:42,289@e | You formed this project in your brain, 001:42,290@e | A project for thy talents fit, 001:42,291@e | With much deceit and little wit; 001:42,292@e | Thou hast, as thou shalt quickly see, 001:42,293@e | Deceived thyself, instead of me; 001:42,294@e | For how can heavenly wisdom prove 001:42,295@e | An instrument to earthly love? 001:42,296@e | Knowst thou not yet that men commence 001:42,297@e | Thy votaries, for want of sense? 001:42,298@e | Nor shall Vanessa be the theme 001:42,299@e | To manage thy abortive scheme; 001:42,300@e | She'll prove the greatest of thy foes: 001:42,301@e | And yet I scorn to interpose, 001:42,302@e | But using neither skill, nor force, 001:42,303@e | Leave all things to their natural course."" 001:42,304[A ]| The goddeess thus pronounced her doom: 001:42,305[A ]| When, lo! Vanessa in her bloom, 001:42,306[A ]| Advanced like Atalanta's star 001:42,307[A ]| But rarely seen, and seen from far: 001:42,308[A ]| In a new world with caution stepped, 001:42,309[A ]| Watched all the company she kept, 001:42,310[A ]| Well knowing from the books she read 001:42,311[A ]| What dangerous paths young virgins tread; 001:42,312[A ]| Would seldom at the park appear, 001:42,313[A ]| Nor saw the playhouse twice a year; 001:42,314[A ]| Yet not incurious, was inclined 001:42,315[A ]| To know the converse of mankind. 001:42,316[A ]| First issued from perfumers' shops 001:42,317[A ]| A crowd of fashionable fops; 001:42,318[A ]| They asked her, how she liked the play, 001:42,319[A ]| Then told the tattle of the day, 001:42,320[A ]| A duel fought last night at two; 001:42,321[A ]| About a Lady ~~ you know who; 001:42,322[A ]| Mentioned a new Italian, come 001:42,323[A ]| Either from Muscovy or Rome; 001:42,324[A ]| Gave hints of who and who's together; 001:42,325[A ]| Then fell to talking of the weather: 001:42,326@x | ""Last night was so extremely fine, 001:42,327@x | The ladies walked till after nine."" 001:42,328[A ]| Then in soft voice and speech absurd, 001:42,329[A ]| With nonsense every second word, 001:42,330[A ]| With fustian from exploded plays, 001:42,331[A ]| They celebrate her beauty's praise, 001:42,332[A ]| Run o'er their cant of stupid lies, 001:42,333[A ]| And tell the murders of her eyes. 001:42,334[A ]| With silent scorn Vanessa sat, 001:42,335[A ]| Scarce listening to their idle chat; 001:42,336[A ]| Further than sometimes by a frown, 001:42,337[A ]| When they grew pert, to pull them down. 001:42,338[A ]| At last she spitefully was bent 001:42,339[A ]| To try their wisdom's full extent; 001:42,340[A ]| And said, she valued nothing less 001:42,341[A ]| Than titles, figure, shape, and dress; 001:42,342[A ]| That, merit should be chiefly placed 001:42,343[A ]| In judgement, knowledge, wit, and taste; 001:42,344[A ]| And these, she offered to dispute, 001:42,345[A ]| Alone distinguished man from brute: 001:42,346[A ]| That, present times have no pretence 001:42,347[A ]| To virtue, in the noblest sense, 001:42,348[A ]| By Greeks and Romans understood, 001:42,349[A ]| To perish for our country's good. 001:42,350[A ]| She named the ancient heroes round, 001:42,351[A ]| Explained for what they were renowned; 001:42,352[A ]| Then spoke with censure, or applause, 001:42,353[A ]| Of foreign customs, rites, and laws; 001:42,354[A ]| Through nature, and through art she ranged, 001:42,355[A ]| And gracefully her subjects changed: 001:42,356[A ]| In vain: her hearers had no share 001:42,357[A ]| In all she spoke, except to stare. 001:42,358[A ]| Their judgement was upon the whole, 001:42,359@x | ""That lady is the dullest soul"" ~~ 001:42,360[A ]| Then tipped their forehead in a jeer, 001:42,361[A ]| As who should say ~~ 001:42,361@x | ""She wants it here; 001:42,362@x | She may be handsome, young and rich, 001:42,363@x | But none will burn her for a witch."" 001:42,364[A ]| A party next of glittering dames, 001:42,365[A ]| From round the purlieus of St*James, 001:42,366[A ]| Came early, out of pure good will, 001:42,367[A ]| To catch the girl in dishabille. 001:42,368[A ]| Their clamour lighting from their chairs, 001:42,369[A ]| Grew louder, all the way upstairs; 001:42,370[A ]| At entrance loudest, where they found 001:42,371[A ]| The room with volumes littered round. 001:42,372[A ]| Vanessa held Montaigne, and read, 001:42,373[A ]| Whilst Mrs*Susan combed her head: 001:42,374[A ]| They called for tea and chocolate, 001:42,375[A ]| And fell into their usual chat, 001:42,376[A ]| Discoursing with important face, 001:42,377[A ]| On ribbons, fans, and gloves and lace; 001:42,378[A ]| Showed patterns just from India brought, 001:42,379[A ]| And gravely asked her what she thought, 001:42,380[A ]| Whether the red or green were best, 001:42,381[A ]| And what they cost? Vanessa guessed, 001:42,382[A ]| As came into her fancy first, 001:42,383[A ]| Named half the rates, and liked the worst. 001:42,384[A ]| To scandal next ~~ 001:42,384@x | ""What awkward thing 001:42,385@x | Was that, last Sunday in the Ring?"" 001:42,386@x | ~~ ""I'm sorry Mopsa breaks so fast; 001:42,387@x | I said her face would never last."" 001:42,388@x | ""Corinna with that youthful air, 001:42,389@x | Is thirty, and a bit to spare. 001:42,390@x | Her fondness for a certain earl 001:42,391@x | Began when I was but a girl."" 001:42,392@x | ""Phyllis, who but a month ago 001:42,393@x | Was married to the Tunbridge beau, 001:42,394@x | I saw coquetting t'other night 001:42,395@x | In public with that odious knight."" 001:42,396[A ]| They rallied next Vanessa's dress; 001:42,397@x | ""That gown was made for old Queen*Bess."" 001:42,398@x | ""Dear madam, let me set your head: 001:42,399@x | Don't you intend to put on red?"" 001:42,400@x | ""A petticoat without a hoop! 001:42,401@x | Sure, you are not ashamed to stoop; 001:42,402@x | With handsome garters at your knees, 001:42,403@x | No matter what a fellow sees."" 001:42,404[A ]| Filled with disdain, with rage inflamed, 001:42,405[A ]| Both of her self and sex ashamed, 001:42,406[A ]| The nymph stood silent out of spite, 001:42,407[A ]| Nor would vouchsafe to set them right. 001:42,408[A ]| Away the fair detractors went, 001:42,409[A ]| And gave, by turns, their censures vent. 001:42,410@x | ""She's not so handsome, in my eyes: 001:42,411@x | For wit, I wonder where it lies."" 001:42,412@x | ""She's fair and clean, and that's the most; 001:42,413@x | But why proclaim her for a toast?"" 001:42,414@x | ""A babyface, no life, no airs, 001:42,415@x | But what she learnt at country fairs; 001:42,416@x | Scarce knows what difference is between 001:42,417@x | Rich Flanders lace, and colbertine."" 001:42,418@x | "I'll undertake my little Nancy 001:42,419@x | In flounces has a better fancy."" 001:42,420@x | ""With all her wit, I would not ask 001:42,421@x | Her judgement, how to buy a mask."" 001:42,422@x | ""We begged her but to patch her face, 001:42,423@x | She never hit one proper place; 001:42,424@x | Which every girl at five years old 001:42,425@x | Can do as soon as she is told."" 001:42,426@x | ""I own, that out-of-fashion stuff 001:42,427@x | Becomes the creature well enough."" 001:42,428@x | ""The girl might pass, if we could get her 001:42,429@x | To know the world a little better."" 001:42,430[A ]| (\To know the world\, a modern phrase, 001:42,431[A ]| For visits, ombre, balls and plays.) 001:42,432[A ]| Thus, to the world's perpetual shame, 001:42,433[A ]| The Queen of Beauty lost her aim. 001:42,434[A ]| Too late with grief she understood, 001:42,435[A ]| Pallas had done more harm than good; 001:42,436[A ]| For great examples are but vain, 001:42,437[A ]| Where ignorance begets disdain. 001:42,438[A ]| Both sexes armed with guilt and spite, 001:42,439[A ]| Against Vanessa's power unite; 001:42,440[A ]| To copy her, few nymphs aspired; 001:42,441[A ]| Her virtues fewer swains admired: 001:42,442[A ]| So stars beyond a certain height 001:42,443[A ]| Give mortals neither heat nor light. 001:42,444[A ]| Yet some of either sex, endowed 001:42,445[A ]| With gifts superior to the crowd, 001:42,446[A ]| With virtue, knowledge, taste and wit, 001:42,447[A ]| She condescended to admit: 001:42,448[A ]| With pleasing arts she could reduce 001:42,449[A ]| Men's talents to their proper use; 001:42,450[A ]| And with address each genius held 001:42,451[A ]| To that wherein it most excelled; 001:42,452[A ]| Thus making other wisdom known, 001:42,453[A ]| Could please them, and improve her own. 001:42,454[A ]| A modest youth said something new, 001:42,455[A ]| She placed it in the strongest view, 001:42,456[A ]| All humble worth she strove to raise; 001:42,457[A ]| Would not be praised, yet loved to praise. 001:42,458[A ]| The learned met with free approach, 001:42,459[A ]| Although they came not in a coach. 001:42,460[A ]| Some clergy too she would allow, 001:42,461[A ]| Nor quarrelled at their awkward bow. 001:42,462[A ]| But this was for Cadenus' sake; 001:42,463[A ]| A gownman of a different make; 001:42,464[A ]| Whom Pallas, once Vanessa's tutor, 001:42,465[A ]| Had fixed on for her coadjutor. 001:42,466[A ]| But Cupid, full of mischief, longs 001:42,467[A ]| To vindicate his mother's wrongs. 001:42,468[A ]| On Pallas all attempts are vain; 001:42,469[A ]| One way he knows to give her pain: 001:42,470[A ]| Vows, on Vanessa's heart to take 001:42,471[A ]| Due vengeance, for her patron's sake. 001:42,472[A ]| Those early seeds by Venus sown, 001:42,473[A ]| In spite of Pallas, now were grown; 001:42,474[A ]| And Cupid hoped they would improve 001:42,475[A ]| By time, and ripen into love. 001:42,476[A ]| The boy made use of all his craft, 001:42,477[A ]| In vain discharging many a shaft, 001:42,478[A ]| Pointed at colonels, lords, and beaux; 001:42,479[A ]| Cadenus warded off the blows: 001:42,480[A ]| For placing still some book betwixt, 001:42,481[A ]| The darts were in the cover fixed, 001:42,482[A ]| Or often blunted and recoiled, 001:42,483[A ]| On Plutarch's \Morals\ struck, were spoiled. 001:42,484[A ]| The Queen of Wisdom could foresee, 001:42,485[A ]| But not prevent the fates' decree; 001:42,486[A ]| And human caution tries in vain 001:42,487[A ]| To break that adamantine chain. 001:42,488[A ]| Vanessa, though by Pallas taught, 001:42,489[A ]| By love invulnerable thought, 001:42,490[A ]| Searching in books for wisdom's aid, 001:42,491[A ]| Was, in the very search, betrayed. 001:42,492[A ]| Cupid, though all his darts were lost, 001:42,493[A ]| Yet still resolved to spare no cost; 001:42,494[A ]| He could not answer to his fame 001:42,495[A ]| The triumphs of that stubborn dame; 001:42,496[A ]| A nymph so hard to be subdued, 001:42,497[A ]| Who neither was coquette nor prude. 001:42,498@f | ""I find,"" 001:42,498[A ]| says he, 001:42,498@f | ""she wants a doctor, 001:42,499@f | Both to adore her and instruct her; 001:42,500@f | I'll give her what she most admires, 001:42,501@f | Among those venerable sires. 001:42,502@f | Cadenus is a subject fit, 001:42,503@f | Grown old in politics and wit; 001:42,504@f | Caressed by ministers of state, 001:42,505@f | Of half mankind the dread and hate. 001:42,506@f | Whate'er vexations love attend, 001:42,507@f | She need no rivals apprehend. 001:42,508@f | Her sex, with universal voice, 001:42,509@f | Must laugh at her capricious choice."" 001:42,510[A ]| Cadenus many things had writ; 001:42,511[A ]| Vanessa much esteemed his wit; 001:42,512[A ]| And called for his poetic works; 001:42,513[A ]| Meantime the boy in secret lurks, 001:42,514[A ]| And while the book was in her hand, 001:42,515[A ]| The urchin from his private stand 001:42,516[A ]| Took aim, and shot with all his strength 001:42,517[A ]| A dart of such prodigious length, 001:42,518[A ]| It pierced the feeble volume through, 001:42,519[A ]| And deep transfixed her bosom too. 001:42,520[A ]| Some lines more moving than the rest, 001:42,521[A ]| Stuck to the point that pierced her breast; 001:42,522[A ]| And born directly to the heart, 001:42,523[A ]| With pains unknown increased her smart. 001:42,524[A ]| Vanessa, not in years a score, 001:42,525[A ]| Dreams of a gown of forty-four; 001:42,526[A ]| Imaginary charms can find, 001:42,527[A ]| In eyes with reading almost blind; 001:42,528[A ]| Cadenus now no more appears 001:42,529[A ]| Declined in health, advanced in years. 001:42,530[A ]| She fancies music in his tongue, 001:42,531[A ]| Nor further looks, but thinks him young. 001:42,532[A ]| What mariner is not afraid, 001:42,533[A ]| To venture in a ship decayed? 001:42,534[A ]| What planter will attempt to yoke 001:42,535[A ]| A sapling with a fallen oak? 001:42,536[A ]| As years increase, she brighter shines, 001:42,537[A ]| Cadenus with each day declines, 001:42,538[A ]| And he must fall a prey to time, 001:42,539[A ]| While she continues in her prime. 001:42,540[A ]| Cadenus, common forms apart, 001:42,541[A ]| In every scene had kept his heart; 001:42,542[A ]| Had sighed and languished, vowed and writ, 001:42,543[A ]| For pastime, or to show his wit; 001:42,544[A ]| But time, and books, and state affairs, 001:42,545[A ]| Had spoiled his fashionable airs; 001:42,546[A ]| He now could praise, esteem, approve, 001:42,547[A ]| But understood not what was love: 001:42,548[A ]| His conduct might have made him styled 001:42,549[A ]| A father, and the nymph his child. 001:42,550[A ]| That innocent delight he took 001:42,551[A ]| To see the virgin mind her book, 001:42,552[A ]| Was but the master's secret joy 001:42,553[A ]| In school to hear the finest boy. 001:42,554[A ]| Her knowledge with her fancy grew; 001:42,555[A ]| She hourly pressed for something new: 001:42,556[A ]| Ideas came into her mind 001:42,557[A ]| So fast, his lessons lagged behind: 001:42,558[A ]| She reasoned, without plodding long, 001:42,559[A ]| Nor ever gave her judgement wrong. 001:42,560[A ]| But now a sudden change was wrought, 001:42,561[A ]| She minds no longer what he taught. 001:42,562[A ]| She wished her tutor were her lover; 001:42,563[A ]| Resolved she would her flame discover: 001:42,564[A ]| And when Cadenus would expound 001:42,565[A ]| Some notion subtle or profound, 001:42,566[A ]| The nymph would gently press his hand, 001:42,567[A ]| As if she seemed to understand; 001:42,568[A ]| Or dextrously dissembling chance, 001:42,569[A ]| Would sigh, and steal a secret glance. 001:42,570[A ]| Cadenus was amazed to find 001:42,571[A ]| Such marks of a distracted mind; 001:42,572[A ]| For though she seemed to listen more 001:42,573[A ]| To all he spoke, than e'er before; 001:42,574[A ]| He found her thoughts would absent range, 001:42,575[A ]| Yet guessed not whence could spring the change. 001:42,576[A ]| And first he modestly conjectures 001:42,577[A ]| His pupil might be tired with lectures; 001:42,578[A ]| Which helped to mortify his pride, 001:42,579[A ]| Yet gave him not the heart to chide; 001:42,580[A ]| But in a mild dejected strain, 001:42,581[A ]| At last he ventured to complain: 001:42,582[A ]| Said, she should be no longer teased; 001:42,583[A ]| Might have her freedom when she pleased: 001:42,584[A ]| Was now convinced he acted wrong, 001:42,585[A ]| To hide her from the world so long; 001:42,586[A ]| And in dull studies to engage, 001:42,587[A ]| One of her tender sex and age. 001:42,588[A ]| That every nymph with envy owned, 001:42,589[A ]| How she might shine in the \9grand 9monde\, 001:42,590[A ]| And every shepherd was undone 001:42,591[A ]| To see her cloistered like a nun. 001:42,592[A ]| This was a visonary scheme, 001:42,593[A ]| He waked, and found it but a dream; 001:42,594[A ]| A project far above his skill, 001:42,595[A ]| For nature must be nature still. 001:42,596[A ]| If he was bolder than became 001:42,597[A ]| A scholar to a courtly dame, 001:42,598[A ]| She might excuse a man of letters; 001:42,599[A ]| Thus tutors often treat their betters. 001:42,600[A ]| And since his talk offensive grew, 001:42,601[A ]| He came to take his last adieu. 001:42,602[A ]| Vanessa, filled with just disdain, 001:42,603[A ]| Would still her dignity maintain, 001:42,604[A ]| Instructed from her early years 001:42,605[A ]| To scorn the art of female tears. 001:42,606[A ]| Had he employed his time so long, 001:42,607[A ]| To teach her what was right and wrong, 001:42,608[A ]| Yet could such notions entertain, 001:42,609[A ]| That all his lectures were in vain? 001:42,610[A ]| She owned the wandering of her thoughts, 001:42,611[A ]| But he must answer for her faults. 001:42,612[A ]| She well remembered to her cost, 001:42,613[A ]| That all his lessons were not lost. 001:42,614[A ]| Two maxims she could still produce, 001:42,615[A ]| And sad experience taught their use: 001:42,616[A ]| That virtue, pleased by being shown, 001:42,617[A ]| Knows nothing which it dare not own; 001:42,618[A ]| Can make us without fear disclose 001:42,619[A ]| Our inmost secrets to our foes: 001:42,620[A ]| That common forms were not designed 001:42,621[A ]| Directors to a noble mind. 001:42,622@g | ""Now,"" 001:42,622[A ]| said the nymph, 001:42,622@g | ""to let you see 001:42,623@g | My actions with your rules agree, 001:42,624@g | That I can vulgar forms despise, 001:42,625@g | And have no secrets to disguise: 001:42,626@g | I knew by what you said and writ, 001:42,627@g | How dangerous things were men of wit, 001:42,628@g | You cautioned me against their charms, 001:42,629@g | But never gave me equal arms: 001:42,630@g | Your lessons found the weakest part, 001:42,631@g | Aimed at the head, but reached the heart."" 001:42,632[A ]| Cadenus felt within him rise 001:42,633[A ]| Shame, disappointment, guilt, surprise. 001:42,634[A ]| He knew not how to reconcile 001:42,635[A ]| Such language, with her usual style: 001:42,636[A ]| And yet her words were so expressed 001:42,637[A ]| He could not hope she spoke in jest. 001:42,638[A ]| His thoughts had wholly been confined 001:42,639[A ]| To form and cultivate her mind. 001:42,640[A ]| He hardly knew, till he was told, 001:42,641[A ]| Whether the nymph were young or old; 001:42,642[A ]| Had met her in a public place, 001:42,643[A ]| Without distinguishing her face. 001:42,644[A ]| Much less could his declining age 001:42,645[A ]| Vanessa's earliest thoughts engage. 001:42,646[A ]| And if her youth indifference met, 001:42,647[A ]| His person must contempt beget. 001:42,648[A ]| Or grant her passion be sincere, 001:42,649[A ]| How shall his innocence be clear? 001:42,650[A ]| Appearances were all so strong, 001:42,651[A ]| The world must think him in the wrong; 001:42,652[A ]| Would say, he made a treacherous use 001:42,653[A ]| Of wit, to flatter and seduce: 001:42,654[A ]| The town would swear he had betrayed, 001:42,655[A ]| By magic spells, the harmless maid; 001:42,656[A ]| And every beau would have his jokes, 001:42,657[A ]| That scholars were like other folks: 001:42,658[A ]| That when platonic flights were over, 001:42,659[A ]| The tutor turned a mortal lover. 001:42,660[A ]| So tender of the young and fair? 001:42,661[A ]| It showed a true paternal care ~~ 001:42,662@x | ""Five thousand guineas in her purse: 001:42,663@x | The doctor might have fancied worse ~~ "" 001:42,664[A ]| Hardly at length he silence broke, 001:42,665[A ]| And faltered every word he spoke; 001:42,666[A ]| Interpreting her complaisance, 001:42,667[A ]| Just as a man \9sans 9consequence\. 001:42,668[A ]| She rallied well, he always knew, 001:42,669[A ]| Her manner now was something new; 001:42,670[A ]| And what she spoke was in an air, 001:42,671[A ]| As serious as a tragic player. 001:42,672[A ]| But those who aim at ridicule 001:42,673[A ]| Should fix upon some certain rule, 001:42,674[A ]| Which fairly hints they are in jest, 001:42,675[A ]| Else he must enter his protest: 001:42,676[A ]| For, let a man be ne'er so wise, 001:42,677[A ]| He may be caught with sober lies; 001:42,678[A ]| A science, which he never taught, 001:42,679[A ]| And, to be free, was dearly bought: 001:42,680[A ]| For, take it in its proper light, 001:42,681[A ]| 'Tis just what coxcombs call, a ""bite"". 001:42,682[A ]| But not to dwell on things minute; 001:42,683[A ]| Vanessa finished the dispute, 001:42,684[A ]| Brought weighty arguments to prove 001:42,685[A ]| That reason was her guide in love. 001:42,686[A ]| She thought he had himself described, 001:42,687[A ]| His doctrines when she first imbibed; 001:42,688[A ]| What he had planted, now was grown; 001:42,689[A ]| His virtues she might call her own; 001:42,690[A ]| As he approves, as he dislikes, 001:42,691[A ]| Love or contempt, her fancy strikes. 001:42,692[A ]| Self-love, in nature rooted fast, 001:42,693[A ]| Attends us first, and leaves us last: 001:42,694[A ]| Why she likes him, admire not at her, 001:42,695[A ]| She loves herself, and that's the matter. 001:42,696[A ]| How was her tutor wont to praise 001:42,697[A ]| The geniuses of ancient days! 001:42,698[A ]| (Those authors he so oft had named 001:42,699[A ]| For learning, wit, and wisdom famed); 001:42,700[A ]| Was struck with love, esteem and awe, 001:42,701[A ]| For persons whom he never saw. 001:42,702[A ]| Suppose Cadenus flourished then, 001:42,703[A ]| He must adore such godlike men. 001:42,704[A ]| If one short volume could comprise 001:42,705[A ]| All that was witty, learned, and wise, 001:42,706[A ]| How would it be esteemed, and read, 001:42,707[A ]| Although the writer long were dead? 001:42,708[A ]| If such an author were alive, 001:42,709[A ]| How would all for his friendship strive; 001:42,710[A ]| And come in crowds to see his face: 001:42,711[A ]| And this she takes to be her case: 001:42,712[A ]| Cadenus answers every end, 001:42,713[A ]| The book, the author, and the friend. 001:42,714[A ]| The utmost her desires will reach, 001:42,715[A ]| Is but to learn what he can teach; 001:42,716[A ]| His converse is a system, fit 001:42,717[A ]| Alone to fill up all her wit; 001:42,718[A ]| While every passion of her mind 001:42,719[A ]| In him is centred and confined. 001:42,720[A ]| Love can with speech inspire a mute, 001:42,721[A ]| And taught Vanessa to dispute. 001:42,722[A ]| This topic, never touched before, 001:42,723[A ]| Displayed her eloquence the more: 001:42,724[A ]| Her knowledge, with such pains acquired, 001:42,725[A ]| By this new passion grew inspired: 001:42,726[A ]| Through this she made all objects pass, 001:42,727[A ]| Which gave a tincture o'er the mass: 001:42,728[A ]| As rivers, though they bend and twine, 001:42,729[A ]| Still to the sea their course incline: 001:42,730[A ]| Or, as philosophers, who find 001:42,731[A ]| Some favourite system to their mind, 001:42,732[A ]| In every point to make it fit, 001:42,733[A ]| Will force all nature to submit. 001:42,734[A ]| Cadenus, who could ne'er suspect 001:42,735[A ]| His lessons would have such effect, 001:42,736[A ]| Or be so artfully applied, 001:42,737[A ]| Insensibly came on her side; 001:42,738[A ]| It was an unforeseen event, 001:42,739[A ]| Things took a turn he never meant. 001:42,740[A ]| Whoe'er excels in what we prize, 001:42,741[A ]| Appears a hero to our eyes; 001:42,742[A ]| Each girl when pleased with what is taught, 001:42,743[A ]| Will have the teacher in her thought: 001:42,744[A ]| When Miss delights in her spinnet, 001:42,745[A ]| A fiddler may a fortune get; 001:42,746[A ]| A blockhead with melodious voice 001:42,747[A ]| In boarding schools can have his choice; 001:42,748[A ]| And oft the dancing-master's art 001:42,749[A ]| Climbs from the toe to touch the heart. 001:42,750[A ]| In learning let a nymph delight, 001:42,751[A ]| The pedant gets a mistress by't. 001:42,752[A ]| Cadenus, to his grief and shame, 001:42,753[A ]| Could scarce oppose Vanessa's flame; 001:42,754[A ]| But though her arguments were strong, 001:42,755[A ]| At least could hardly wish them wrong. 001:42,756[A ]| Howe'er it came, he could not tell, 001:42,757[A ]| But sure she never talked so well. 001:42,758[A ]| His pride began to interpose, 001:42,759[A ]| Preferred before a crowd of beaux: 001:42,760[A ]| So bright a nymph to come unsought, 001:42,761[A ]| Such wonder by his merit wrought: 001:42,762[A ]| 'Tis merit must with her prevail, 001:42,763[A ]| He never knew her judgement fail; 001:42,764[A ]| She noted all she ever read, 001:42,765[A ]| And had a most discerning head. 001:42,766[A ]| 'Tis an old maxim in the schools, 001:42,767[A ]| That vanity's the food of fools; 001:42,768[A ]| Yet now and then your men of wit 001:42,769[A ]| Will condescend to take a bit. 001:42,770[A ]| So when Cadenus could not hide, 001:42,771[A ]| He chose to justify his pride; 001:42,772[A ]| Construing the passion she had shown, 001:42,773[A ]| Much to her praise, more to his own. 001:42,774[A ]| Nature in him had merit placed, 001:42,775[A ]| In her, a most judicious taste. 001:42,776[A ]| Love, hitherto a transient guest, 001:42,777[A ]| Ne'er held possession of his breast; 001:42,778[A ]| So, long attending at the gate, 001:42,779[A ]| Disdained to enter in so late. 001:42,780[A ]| Love, why do we one passion call? 001:42,781[A ]| When 'tis a compound of them all; 001:42,782[A ]| Where hot and cold, where sharp and sweet, 001:42,783[A ]| In all their equipages meet; 001:42,784[A ]| Where pleasures mixed with pains appear, 001:42,785[A ]| Sorrow with joy, and hope with fear; 001:42,786[A ]| Wherein his dignity and age 001:42,787[A ]| Forbid Cadenus to engage. 001:42,788[A ]| But friendship in its greatest height, 001:42,789[A ]| A constant, rational delight, 001:42,790[A ]| On virtue's basis fixed to last, 001:42,791[A ]| When love's allurements long are past; 001:42,792[A ]| Which gently warms, but cannot burn; 001:42,793[A ]| He gladly offers in return: 001:42,794[A ]| His want of passion will redeem, 001:42,795[A ]| With gratitude, respect, esteem: 001:42,796[A ]| With that devotion we bestow, 001:42,797[A ]| When goddesses appear below. 001:42,798[A ]| While thus Cadenus entertains 001:42,799[A ]| Vanessa in exalted strains, 001:42,800[A ]| The nymph in sober words entreats 001:42,801[A ]| A truce with all sublime conceits. 001:42,802[A ]| For why such raptures, flights, and fancies, 001:42,803[A ]| To her, who durst not read romances; 001:42,804[A ]| In lofty style to make replies, 001:42,805[A ]| Which he had taught her to despise. 001:42,806[A ]| But when her tutor will affect 001:42,807[A ]| Devotion, duty, and respect, 001:42,808[A ]| He fairly abdicates his throne, 001:42,809[A ]| The government is now her own; 001:42,810[A ]| He has a forfeiture incurred: 001:42,811[A ]| She vows to take him at his word, 001:42,812[A ]| And hopes he will not think it strange 001:42,813[A ]| If both should now their stations change. 001:42,814[A ]| The nymph will have her turn, to be 001:42,815[A ]| The tutor; and the pupil, he: 001:42,816[A ]| Though she already can discern, 001:42,817[A ]| Her scholar is not apt to learn; 001:42,818[A ]| Or wants capacity to reach 001:42,819[A ]| The science she designs to teach: 001:42,820[A ]| Wherein his genius was below 001:42,821[A ]| The skill of every common beau; 001:42,822[A ]| Who, though he cannot spell, is wise 001:42,823[A ]| Enough to read a lady's eyes; 001:42,824[A ]| And will each accidental glance 001:42,825[A ]| Interpret for a kind advance. 001:42,826[A ]| But what success Vanessa met, 001:42,827[A ]| Is to the world a secret yet: 001:42,828[A ]| Whether the nymph, to please her swain, 001:42,829[A ]| Talks in a high romantic strain; 001:42,830[A ]| Or whether he at last descends 001:42,831[A ]| To like with less seraphic ends; 001:42,832[A ]| Or, to compound the business, whether 001:42,833[A ]| They temper love and books together; 001:42,834[A ]| Must never to mankind be told, 001:42,835[A ]| Nor shall the conscious muse unfold. 001:42,836[A ]| Meantime the mournful Queen of Love 001:42,837[A ]| Led but a weary life above. 001:42,838[A ]| She ventures now to leave the skies, 001:42,839[A ]| Grown by Vanessa's conduct wise: 001:42,840[A ]| For though by one perverse event 001:42,841[A ]| Pallas had crossed her first intent; 001:42,842[A ]| Though her design was not obtained; 001:42,843[A ]| Yet had she much experience gained; 001:42,844[A ]| And, by the project vainly tried, 001:42,845[A ]| Could better now the cause decide. 001:42,846[A ]| She gave due notice, that both parties, 001:42,847[A ]| \7Coram 7Regina 7prox' 7die 7Martis\, 001:42,848[A ]| Should at their peril without fail, 001:42,849@b | ""Come and appear, and save their bail."" 001:42,850[A ]| All meet, and silence thrice proclaimed, 001:42,851[A ]| One lawyer to each side was named. 001:42,852[A ]| The judge discovered in her face 001:42,853[A ]| Resentments for her late disgrace; 001:42,854[A ]| And, full of anger, shame and grief, 001:42,855[A ]| Directed them to mind their brief; 001:42,856[A ]| Nor spend their time to show their reading; 001:42,857[A ]| She'd have a summary proceeding. 001:42,858[A ]| She gathered, under every head, 001:42,859[A ]| The sum of what each lawyer said; 001:42,860[A ]| Gave her own reasons last; and then 001:42,861[A ]| Decreed the cause against the men. 001:42,862[A ]| But in a weighty cause like this, 001:42,863[A ]| To show she did not judge amiss, 001:42,864[A ]| Which evil tongues might else report, 001:42,865[A ]| She made a speech in open court; 001:42,866[A ]| Wherein she grievously complains, 001:42,867@b | ""How she was cheated by the swains: 001:42,868@b | On whose petition (humbly showing 001:42,869@b | That women were not worth the wooing; 001:42,870@b | And that unless the sex would mend, 001:42,871@b | The race of lovers soon must end) 001:42,872@b | She was at Lord knows what expense 001:42,873@b | To form a nymph of wit and sense; 001:42,874@b | A model for her sex designed, 001:42,875@b | Who never could one lover find. 001:42,876@b | She saw her favour was misplaced; 001:42,877@b | The fellows had a wretched taste; 001:42,878@b | She needs must tell them to their face, 001:42,879@b | They were a stupid, senseless race: 001:42,880@b | And were she to begin again, 001:42,881@b | She'd study to reform the men; 001:42,882@b | Or add some grain of folly more 001:42,883@b | To women than they had before, 001:42,884@b | To put them on an equal foot; 001:42,885@b | And this, or nothing else, would do't. 001:42,886@b | This might their mutual fancy strike, 001:42,887@b | Since every being loves its like. 001:42,888@b | ""But now, repenting what was done, 001:42,889@b | She left all business to her son: 001:42,890@b | She puts the world in his possession, 001:42,891@b | And let him use it at discretion."" 001:42,892[A ]| The crier was ordered to dismiss 001:42,893[A ]| The court, so made his last ""Oyez!"" 001:42,894[A ]| The goddess would no longer wait; 001:42,895[A ]| But rising from her chair of state, 001:42,896[A ]| Left all below at six and seven, 001:42,897[A ]| Harnessed her doves, and flew to heaven. 152:43,000[' ]| 152:43,000[' ]| 152:43,001[A ]| Harley, the nation's great support, 152:43,002[A ]| Returning home one day from court 152:43,003[A ]| (His mind with public cares possessed, 152:43,004[A ]| All Europe's business in his breast) 152:43,005[A ]| Observed a parson near Whitehall, 152:43,006[A ]| Cheapening old authors on a stall. 152:43,007[A ]| The priest was pretty well in case, 152:43,008[A ]| And showed some humour in his face; 152:43,009[A ]| Looked with an easy, careless mien, 152:43,010[A ]| A perfect stranger to the spleen; 152:43,011[A ]| Of size that might a pulpit fill, 152:43,012[A ]| But more inclining to sit still. 152:43,013[A ]| My Lord, who (if a man may say't) 152:43,014[A ]| Loves mischief better than his meat, 152:43,015[A ]| Was now disposed to crack a jest; 152:43,016[A ]| And bid friend Lewis go in quest 152:43,017[A ]| (This Lewis is an arrant shaver, 152:43,018[A ]| And very much in Harley's favour); 152:43,019[A ]| In quest, who might this parson be, 152:43,020[A ]| What was his name, of what degree: 152:43,021[A ]| If possible, to learn his story, 152:43,022[A ]| And whether he were Whig or Tory? 152:43,023[A ]| Lewis his patron's humour knows; 152:43,024[A ]| Away upon his errand goes; 152:43,025[A ]| And quickly did the matter sift, 152:43,026[A ]| Found out that it was Dr*Swift: 152:43,027[A ]| A clergyman of special note, 152:43,028[A ]| For shunning those of his own coat; 152:43,029[A ]| Which made his brethen of the gown, 152:43,030[A ]| Take care betimes to run him down: 152:43,031[A ]| No libertine, nor over-nice, 152:43,032[A ]| Addicted to no sort of vice; 152:43,033[A ]| Went where he pleased, said what he thought; 152:43,034[A ]| Not rich, but owed no man a groat. 152:43,035[A ]| In state opinions \9a` 9la 9mode\, 152:43,036[A ]| He hated Wharton like a toad; 152:43,037[A ]| Had given the faction many a wound, 152:43,038[A ]| And libelled all the Junta round; 152:43,039[A ]| Kept company with men of wit, 152:43,040[A ]| Who often fathered what he writ; 152:43,041[A ]| His works were hawked in every street, 152:43,042[A ]| But seldom rose above a sheet: 152:43,043[A ]| Of late indeed the paper-stamp 152:43,044[A ]| Did very much his genius cramp; 152:43,045[A ]| And since he could not spend his fire, 152:43,046[A ]| He now intended to retire. 152:43,047[A ]| Said Harley, 152:43,047@b | ""I desire to know 152:43,048@b | From his own mouth, if this be so? 152:43,049@b | Step to the Doctor straight, and say, 152:43,050@b | I'd have him dine with me today."" 152:43,051[A ]| Swift seemed to wonder what he meant, 152:43,052[A ]| Nor would believe my Lord had sent; 152:43,053[A ]| So never offered once to stir, 152:43,054[A ]| But coldly said, 152:43,054@a | ""Your servant, sir."" 152:43,055@b | ""Does he refuse me?"", 152:43,055[A ]| Harley cried. 152:43,056@b | ""He does, with insolence and pride."" 152:43,057[A ]| Some few days after, Harley spies 152:43,058[A ]| The Doctor fastened by the eyes, 152:43,059[A ]| At Charing*Cross, among the rout, 152:43,060[A ]| Where painted monsters dangle out. 152:43,061[A ]| He pulled the string, and stopped his coach, 152:43,062[A ]| Beckoning the Doctor to approach. 152:43,063[A ]| Swift, who could neither fly nor hide, 152:43,064[A ]| Came sneaking to the chariot-side, 152:43,065[A ]| And offered many a lame excuse: 152:43,066[A ]| He never meant the least abuse ~~ 152:43,067@a | ""My Lord ~~ the honour you designed ~~ 152:43,068@a | Extremely proud ~~ but I had dined ~~ 152:43,069@a | I'm sure I never should neglect ~~ 152:43,070@a | No man alive has more respect ~~ "" 152:43,071@b | ""Well, I shall think of that no more, 152:43,072@b | If you'll be sure to come at four."" 152:43,073[A ]| The Doctor now obeys the summons, 152:43,074[A ]| Likes both his company and commons; 152:43,075[A ]| Displays his talent, sits till ten; 152:43,076[A ]| Next day invited, comes again: 152:43,077[A ]| Soon grows domestic, seldom fails 152:43,078[A ]| Either at morning, or at meals; 152:43,079[A ]| Comes early, and departeth late: 152:43,080[A ]| In short, the gudgeon took the bait. 152:43,081[A ]| My Lord would carry on the jest, 152:43,082[A ]| And down to Windsor takes his guest. 152:43,083[A ]| Swift much admires the place and air, 152:43,084[A ]| And longs to be a canon there; 152:43,085[A ]| In summer, round the park to ride, 152:43,086[A ]| In winter ~~ never to reside. 152:43,087@b | ""A canon! that's a place too mean: 152:43,088@b | No, Doctor, you shall be a dean; 152:43,089@b | Two dozen canons round your stall, 152:43,090@b | And you the tyrant o'er them all: 152:43,091@b | You need but cross the Irish seas, 152:43,092@b | To live in plenty, power and ease."" 152:43,093[A ]| Poor Swift departs, and, what is worse, 152:43,094[A ]| With borrowed money in his purse; 152:43,095[A ]| Travels at least a hundred leagues, 152:43,096[A ]| And suffers numberless fatigues. 152:43,097[A ]| Suppose him, now, a dean complete, 152:43,098[A ]| Demurely lolling in his seat; 152:43,099[A ]| The silver virge, with decent pride, 152:43,100[A ]| Stuck underneath his cushion-side: 152:43,101[A ]| Suppose him gone through all vexations, 152:43,102[A ]| Patents, instalments, abjurations, 152:43,103[A ]| First-fruits and tenths, and chapter-treats, 152:43,104[A ]| Dues, payments, fees, demands and ~~ cheats 152:43,105[A ]| (The wicked laity's contriving, 152:43,106[A ]| To hinder clergymen from thriving), 152:43,107[A ]| Now all the Doctor's money's spent, 152:43,108[A ]| His tenants wrong him in his rent; 152:43,109[A ]| The farmers, spitefully combined, 152:43,110[A ]| Force him to take his tithes in kind; 152:43,111[A ]| And Parvisol discounts arrears, 152:43,112[A ]| By bills for taxes and repairs. 152:43,113[A ]| Poor Swift, with all his losses vexed, 152:43,114[A ]| Not knowing where to turn him next, 152:43,115[A ]| Above a thousand pounds in debt; 152:43,116[A ]| Takes horse, and in a mighty fret, 152:43,117[A ]| Rides day and night at such a rate, 152:43,118[A ]| He soon arrives at Harley's gate; 152:43,119[A ]| But was so dirty, pale, and thin, 152:43,120[A ]| Old Read would hardly let him in. 152:43,121[A ]| Said Harley, 152:43,121@b | ""Welcome, reverend Dean! 152:43,122@b | What makes your worship look so lean? 152:43,123@b | Why sure you won't appear in town, 152:43,124@b | In that old wig and rusty gown? 152:43,125@b | I doubt your heart is set on pelf 152:43,126@b | So much, that you neglect yourself. 152:43,127@b | What! I suppose now stocks are high, 152:43,128@b | You've some good purchase in your eye; 152:43,129@b | Or is your money out at use?"" ~~ 152:43,130@a | ""Truce, good my Lord, I beg a truce!"" 152:43,131[A ]| (The Doctor in a passion cried), 152:43,132@a | ""Your raillery is misapplied: 152:43,133@a | Experience I have dearly bought, 152:43,134@a | You know I am not worth a groat: 152:43,135@a | But it's a folly to contest, 152:43,136@a | When you resolve to have your jest; 152:43,137@a | And since you now have done your worst, 152:43,138@a | Pray leave me where you found me first."" 152:44,000[' ]| <\The First Ode of the Second Book of Horace\> 152:44,000[' ]| <\Paraphrased and Addressed to Richard*Steele, Esq%\> 152:44,001[A ]| Dick, thou'rt resolved, as I am told, 152:44,002[A ]| Some strange arcana to unfold, 152:44,003[A ]| And with the help of Buckley's pen 152:44,004[A ]| To vamp the ""good old cause"" again: 152:44,005[A ]| Which thou (such Burnett's shrewd advice is) 152:44,006[A ]| Must furbish up and nickname ""Crisis"". 152:44,007[A ]| Thou pompously wilt let us know 152:44,008[A ]| What all the world knew long ago, 152:44,009[A ]| (E'er since Sir*William*Gore was mayor, 152:44,010[A ]| And Harley filled the Commons' chair) 152:44,011[A ]| That we a German prince must own 152:44,012[A ]| When Anne for heaven resigns her throne. 152:44,013[A ]| But more than that, thou'lt keep a rout 152:44,014[A ]| With ~~ who is \in\ ~~ and who is \out\, 152:44,015[A ]| Thou'lt rail devoutly at the peace, 152:44,016[A ]| And all its secret causes trace, 152:44,017[A ]| The bucket-play 'twixt Whigs and Tories, 152:44,018[A ]| Their ups and downs, with fifty stories 152:44,019[A ]| Of tricks, the Lord*of*Oxford knows, 152:44,020[A ]| And errors of our plenipo's. 152:44,021[A ]| Thou'lt tell of leagues among the great 152:44,022[A ]| Portending ruin to our state, 152:44,023[A ]| And of that dreadful \9coup 9d'e=clat\, 152:44,024[A ]| Which has afforded thee much chat, 152:44,025[A ]| The Queen forsooth (despotic!) gave 152:44,026[A ]| Twelve coronets, without thy leave! 152:44,027[A ]| A breach of liberty, 'tis owned, 152:44,028[A ]| For which no heads have yet atoned! 152:44,029[A ]| Believe me, what thou'st undertaken 152:44,030[A ]| May bring in jeopardy thy bacon; 152:44,031[A ]| For madmen, children, wits and fools 152:44,032[A ]| Should never meddle with edged tools. 152:44,033[A ]| But since thou'rt got into the fire, 152:44,034[A ]| And canst not easily retire, 152:44,035[A ]| Thou must no longer deal in farce, 152:44,036[A ]| Nor pump to cobble wicked verse; 152:44,037[A ]| Until thou shalt have eased thy conscience, 152:44,038[A ]| Of spleen, of politics and nonsense, 152:44,039[A ]| And when thou'st bid adieu to cares, 152:44,040[A ]| And settled Europe's grand affairs, 152:44,041[A ]| 'Twill then, perhaps, be worth thy while 152:44,042[A ]| For Drury*lane to shape thy style: 152:44,043@b | ""To make a pair of jolly fellows, 152:44,044@b | The son and father, join to tell us, 152:44,045@b | How sons may safely disobey, 152:44,046@b | And father never should say nay, 152:44,047@b | By which wise conduct they grow friends, 152:44,048@b | At last ~~ and so the story ends."" 152:44,049[A ]| When first I knew thee, Dick, thou wert 152:44,050[A ]| Renowned for skill in Faustus' art, 152:44,051[A ]| Which made thy closet much frequented 152:44,052[A ]| By buxom lasses ~~ some repented 152:44,053[A ]| Their luckless choice of husbands ~~ others, 152:44,054[A ]| Impatient to be like their mothers, 152:44,055[A ]| Received from thee profound directions 152:44,056[A ]| How best to settle their affections; 152:44,057[A ]| Thus thou, a friend to the distressed, 152:44,058[A ]| Didst in thy calling do thy best. 152:44,059[A ]| But now the senate (if things hit 152:44,060[A ]| And thou at Stockbridge wert not bit) 152:44,061[A ]| Must feel thy eloquence and fire, 152:44,062[A ]| Approve thy schemes, thy wit admire, 152:44,063[A ]| Thee with immortal honours crown, 152:44,064[A ]| Whilst patriot-like thou'lt strut and frown. 152:44,065[A ]| What, though by enemies 'tis said, 152:44,066[A ]| The laurel, which adorns thy head, 152:44,067[A ]| Must one day come in competition, 152:44,068[A ]| By virtue of some sly petition: 152:44,069[A ]| Yet mum for that, hope still the best, 152:44,070[A ]| Nor let such cares disturb thy rest. 152:44,071[A ]| Methinks I hear thee loud as trumpet, 152:44,072[A ]| As bagpipe shrill, or oyster-strumpet, 152:44,073[A ]| Methinks I see thee, spruce and fine, 152:44,074[A ]| With coat embroidered richly shine, 152:44,075[A ]| And dazzle all the idol faces 152:44,076[A ]| As through the Hall thy worship paces: 152:44,077[A ]| (Though this I speak but at a venture, 152:44,078[A ]| Supposing thou hast tick with Hunter) 152:44,079[A ]| Methinks I see a blackguard rout 152:44,080[A ]| Attend thy coach, and hear them shout 152:44,081[A ]| In approbation of thy tongue, 152:44,082[A ]| Which (in their style) is ""purely hung"". 152:44,083[A ]| Now, now you carry all before ye, 152:44,084[A ]| Nor dares one Jacobite or Tory 152:44,085[A ]| Pretend to answer one syl-lable, 152:44,086[A ]| Except the matchless hero Abel. 152:44,087[A ]| What though her Highness and her spouse 152:44,088[A ]| In Antwerp keep a frugal house, 152:44,089[A ]| Yet not forgetful of a friend, 152:44,090[A ]| They'll soon enable thee to spend, 152:44,091[A ]| If to Macartney thou wilt toast, 152:44,092[A ]| And to his pious patron's ghost. 152:44,093[A ]| Now manfully thou'lt run a tilt 152:44,094@b | ""On popes, for all the blood they've spilt, 152:44,095@b | For massacres, and racks, and flames, 152:44,096@b | For lands enriched by crimson streams, 152:44,097@b | For inquisitions taught by Spain, 152:44,098@b | Of which the Christian world complain."" 152:44,099[A ]| Dick, we agree ~~ all's true, thou'st said, 152:44,100[A ]| As that my muse is yet a maid. 152:44,101[A ]| But, if I may with freedom talk, 152:44,102[A ]| All this is foreign to thy walk: 152:44,103[A ]| Thy genius has perhaps a knack 152:44,104[A ]| At trudging in a beaten track, 152:44,105[A ]| But is for state affairs as fit, 152:44,106[A ]| As mine for politics and wit. 152:44,107[A ]| Then let us both in time grow wise, 152:44,108[A ]| Nor higher than our talents rise; 152:44,109[A ]| To some snug cellar let's repair 152:44,110[A ]| From duns and debts, and drown our care; 152:44,111[A ]| Now quaff of honest ale a quart, 152:44,112[A ]| Now venture at a pint of port, 152:44,113[A ]| With which inspired we'll club each night 152:44,114[A ]| Some tender sonnet to indite, 152:44,115[A ]| And with Tom*D'Urfey, Philips, Dennis, 152:44,116[A ]| Immortalize our Dolls and Jennies. 152:45,000[' ]| <\Scriblerian Verses\> 152:45,000[' ]| <1> 152:45,001[A ]| The Doctor and Dean, Pope, Parnell and Gay 152:45,002[A ]| In manner submissive most humbly do pray, 152:45,003[A ]| That your Lordship would once let your cares all alone 152:45,004[A ]| And climb the dark stairs to your friends who have none: 152:45,005[A ]| To your friends who at least have no cares but to please you 152:45,006[A ]| To a good honest Junta that never will tease you. 152:45,007[A ]| From the Doctor's chamber, 152:45,008[A ]| past eight. 152:45,000[' ]| <2> 152:45,009[A ]| Let not the Whigs our Tory club rebuke; 152:45,010[A ]| Give us our Earl, the devil take their Duke. 152:45,011[A ]| \7Quaedam 7quae 7attinent 7ad 7Scriblerum\, 152:45,012[A ]| Want your assistance now to clear 'em. 152:45,013[A ]| One day it will be no disgrace, 152:45,014[A ]| In ""Scribler"" to have had a place. 152:45,015[A ]| Come then, my Lord, and take your part in 152:45,016[A ]| The important \History*of*Martin\. 152:45,000[' ]| <3> 152:45,017[A ]| My Lord, forsake your politic utopians, 152:45,018[A ]| To sup, like Jove, with blameless Ethiopians. 152:45,019[A ]| Pope. 152:45,020[A ]| In other words, you with the staff, 152:45,021[A ]| Leave John*of*Bucks, come here and laugh. 152:45,022[A ]| Dean. 152:45,023[A ]| For frolic mirth give o'er affairs of state, 152:45,024[A ]| Tonight be happy, be tomorrow great. 152:45,025[A ]| Parnell. 152:45,026[A ]| Give clans your money, us your smile, 152:45,027[A ]| Your scorn to Townshend and Argyll. 152:45,028[A ]| Doctor. 152:45,029[A ]| Leave courts, and hie to simple swains, 152:45,030[A ]| Who feed no flock upon no plains. 152:45,031[A ]| Gay. 152:45,000[' ]| <4> 152:45,032[A ]| A pox of all senders 152:45,033[A ]| For any pretenders 152:45,034[A ]| Who tell us these troublesome stories, 152:45,035[A ]| In their dull humdrum key 152:45,036[A ]| Of ""\7arma 7virumque\ 152:45,037[A ]| \7Hannoniae 7qui 7primus 7ab 7oris\ ~~"" 152:45,038[A ]| A fig too for Hanmer 152:45,039[A ]| Who prates like his \9grande*me`re\, 152:45,040[A ]| And all his old friends would rebuke 152:45,041[A ]| In spite of the carle 152:45,042[A ]| Give us but our Earl, 152:45,043[A ]| And the devil may take their Duke. 152:45,044[A ]| Then come and take part in 152:45,045[A ]| The \Memoirs*of*Martin\, 152:45,046[A ]| Lay by your white staff and grey habit, 152:45,047[A ]| For trust us, friend Mortimer, 152:45,048[A ]| Should you live years forty more 152:45,049[A ]| \7Haec 7olim 7meminisse 7juvabit.\ 152:45,050[A ]| \By order of the club\ 152:45,051[A ]| A%*Pope 152:45,052[A ]| J%*Gay 152:45,053[A ]| J%*Swift 152:45,054[A ]| J%*Arbuthnot 152:45,055[A ]| T%*Parnel 152:46,000[' ]| <\The Faggot\> 152:46,000[' ]| 152:46,000[' ]| 152:46,001[A ]| Observe the dying father speak: 152:46,002@b | ""Try, lads, can you this bundle break;"" 152:46,003[A ]| Then, bids the youngest of the six, 152:46,004[A ]| Take up a well-bound heap of sticks. 152:46,005[A ]| They thought it was an old man's maggot; 152:46,006[A ]| And strove by turns to break the faggot: 152:46,007[A ]| In vain ~~ the complicated wands 152:46,008[A ]| Were much too strong for all their hands. 152:46,009@b | ""See,"" 152:46,009[A ]| said the sire, 152:46,009@b | ""how soon 'tis done"": 152:46,010[A ]| Then, took and broke them one by one. 152:46,011@b | So strong you'll be, in friendship tied; 152:46,012@b | So quickly broke if you divide. 152:46,013@b | Keep close then, boys, and never quarrel. 152:46,014[A ]| Here ends the fable and the moral. 152:46,015[A ]| The tale may be applied in few words 152:46,016[A ]| To treasurers, controllers, stewards, 152:46,017[A ]| And others, who in solemn sort 152:46,018[A ]| Appear with slender wands at court: 152:46,019[A ]| Not firmly joined to keep their ground, 152:46,020[A ]| But lashing one another round: 152:46,021[A ]| While, wise men think they ought to fight 152:46,022[A ]| With quarter-staffs instead of white: 152:46,023[A ]| Or constable with staff of peace, 152:46,024[A ]| Should come and make the clattering cease; 152:46,025[A ]| Which now disturbs the Queen and court, 152:46,026[A ]| And gives the Whigs and rabble sport. 152:46,027[A ]| In history, we never found 152:46,028[A ]| The consul's fasces were unbound; 152:46,029[A ]| Those Romans were too wise to think on't, 152:46,030[A ]| Except to lash some grand delinquent. 152:46,031[A ]| How would they blush to hear it said, 152:46,032[A ]| The praetor broke the consul's head; 152:46,033[A ]| Or, consul in his purple gown, 152:46,034[A ]| Came up, and knocked the praetor down. 152:46,035[A ]| Come, courtiers; every man his stick: 152:46,036[A ]| Lord Treasurer, for once be quick: 152:46,037[A ]| And, that they may the closer cling, 152:46,038[A ]| Take your blue ribbon for a string. 152:46,039[A ]| Come, trimming Harcourt; bring your mace; 152:46,040[A ]| And squeeze it in, or quit your place: 152:46,041[A ]| Dispatch; or else that rascal Northey 152:46,042[A ]| Will undertake to do it for thee: 152:46,043[A ]| And, be assured, the court will find him 152:46,044[A ]| Prepared to leap o'er sticks, or bind 'em. 152:46,045[A ]| To make the bundle strong and safe, 152:46,046[A ]| Great Ormonde lend thy general's staff: 152:46,047[A ]| And, if the crozier could be crammed in, 152:46,048[A ]| A fig for Lechmere, King, and Hampden. 152:46,049[A ]| You'll then defy the strongest Whig, 152:46,050[A ]| With both his hands to bend a twig; 152:46,051[A ]| Though with united strength they all pull, 152:46,052[A ]| From Somers down to Craggs and Walpole. 152:47,000[' ]| <\The Author upon Himself\> 152:47,001[A ]| By an old red-pate, murdering hag pursued, 152:47,002[A ]| A crazy prelate, and a royal prude. 152:47,003[A ]| By dull divines, who look with envious eyes, 152:47,004[A ]| On every genius that attempts to rise; 152:47,005[A ]| And pausing o'er a pipe, with doubtful nod, 152:47,006[A ]| Give hints, that poets ne'er believe in God. 152:47,007[A ]| So, clowns on scholars as on wizards look, 152:47,008[A ]| And take a folio for a conjuring book. 152:47,009[A ]| Swift had the sin of wit, no venial crime; 152:47,010[A ]| Nay, 'twas affirmed, he sometimes dealt in rhyme: 152:47,011[A ]| Humour, and mirth, had place in all he writ: 152:47,012[A ]| He reconciled divinity and wit. 152:47,013[A ]| He moved, and bowed, and talked with too much grace; 152:47,014[A ]| Nor showed the parson in his gait or face; 152:47,015[A ]| Despised luxurious wines, and costly meat; 152:47,016[A ]| Yet, still was at the tables of the great. 152:47,017[A ]| Frequented lords; saw those that saw the Queen; 152:47,018[A ]| At Child's or Truby's never once had been; 152:47,019[A ]| Where town and country vicars flock in tribes, 152:47,020[A ]| Secured by numbers from the laymen's gibes; 152:47,021[A ]| And deal in vices of the graver sort, 152:47,022[A ]| Tobacco, censure, coffee, pride, and port. 152:47,023[A ]| But, after sage monitions from his friends, 152:47,024[A ]| His talents to employ for nobler ends; 152:47,025[A ]| To better judgements willing to submit, 152:47,026[A ]| He turns to politics his dangerous wit. 152:47,027[A ]| And now, the public interest to support, 152:47,028[A ]| By Harley Swift invited comes to court. 152:47,029[A ]| In favour grows with ministers of state; 152:47,030[A ]| Admitted private, when superiors wait: 152:47,031[A ]| And, Harley, not ashamed his choice to own, 152:47,032[A ]| Takes him to Windsor in his coach, alone. 152:47,033[A ]| At Windsor Swift no sooner can appear, 152:47,034[A ]| But, St*John comes and whispers in his ear; 152:47,035[A ]| The waiters stand in ranks; the yeomen cry, 152:47,036[A ]| ""Make room"", as if a duke were passing by. 152:47,037[A ]| Now Finch alarms the Lords; he hears for certain, 152:47,038[A ]| This dangerous priest is got behind the curtain: 152:47,039[A ]| Finch, famed for tedious elocution, proves 152:47,040[A ]| That Swift oils many a spring which Harley moves. 152:47,041[A ]| Walpole and Ailslabie, to clear the doubt, 152:47,042[A ]| Inform the Commons, that the secret's out: 152:47,043@x | ""A certain Doctor is observed of late, 152:47,044@x | To haunt a certain minister of state: 152:47,045@x | From whence, with half an eye we may discover, 152:47,046@x | The peace is made, and Perkin must come over."" 152:47,047[A ]| York is from Lambeth sent, to show the Queen 152:47,048[A ]| A dangerous treatise writ against the spleen; 152:47,049[A ]| Which by the style, the matter, and the drift, 152:47,050[A ]| 'Tis thought could be the work of none but Swift. 152:47,051[A ]| Poor York! The harmless tool of others' hate; 152:47,052[A ]| He sues for pardon, and repents too late. 152:47,053[A ]| Now Madam*Ko+nigsmark her vengeance vows 152:47,054[A ]| On Swift's reproaches for her murdered spouse: 152:47,055[A ]| From her red locks her mouth with venom fills; 152:47,056[A ]| And thence into the royal ear instils. 152:47,057[A ]| The Queen incensed, his services forgot, 152:47,058[A ]| Leaves him a victim to the vengeful Scot; 152:47,059[A ]| Now, through the realm a proclamation spread, 152:47,060[A ]| To fix a price on his devoted head. 152:47,061[A ]| While innocent, he scorns ignoble flight; 152:47,062[A ]| His watchful friends preserve him by a sleight. 152:47,063[A ]| By Harley's favour once again he shines: 152:47,064[A ]| Is now caressed by candidate divines; 152:47,065[A ]| Who change opinions with the changing scene: 152:47,066[A ]| Lord! how they were mistaken in the Dean! 152:47,067[A ]| Now, Delaware again familiar grows; 152:47,068[A ]| And in Swift's ear thrusts half his powdered nose. 152:47,069[A ]| The Scottish nation, whom he durst offend, 152:47,070[A ]| Again apply that Swift would be their friend. 152:47,071[A ]| By faction tired, with grief he waits a while, 152:47,072[A ]| His great contending friends to reconcile. 152:47,073[A ]| Performs what friendship, justice, truth require: 152:47,074[A ]| What could he more, but decently retire? 152:48,000[' ]| <\In Sickness\> 152:48,000[' ]| <\WRITTEN SOON AFTER THE AUTHOR'S COMING TO LIVE\> 152:48,000[' ]| <\IN IRELAND, UPON THE QUEEN'S DEATH, OCTOBER 1714\> 152:48,001[A ]| 'Tis true ~~ then why should I repine, 152:48,002[A ]| To see my life so fast decline? 152:48,003[A ]| But, why obscurely here alone? 152:48,004[A ]| Where I am neither loved nor known. 152:48,005[A ]| My state of health none care to learn; 152:48,006[A ]| My life is here no soul's concern. 152:48,007[A ]| And, those with whom I now converse, 152:48,008[A ]| Without a tear will tend my hearse. 152:48,009[A ]| Removed from kind Arbuthnot's aid, 152:48,010[A ]| Who knows his art but not his trade; 152:48,011[A ]| Preferring his regard for me 152:48,012[A ]| Before his credit or his fee. 152:48,013[A ]| Some formal visits, looks, and words, 152:48,014[A ]| What mere humanity affords, 152:48,015[A ]| I meet perhaps from three or four, 152:48,016[A ]| From whom I once expected more; 152:48,017[A ]| Which those who tend the sick for pay 152:48,018[A ]| Can act as decently as they. 152:48,019[A ]| But, no obliging, tender friend 152:48,020[A ]| To help at my approaching end, 152:48,021[A ]| My life is now a burden grown 152:48,022[A ]| To others, e'er it be my own. 152:48,023[A ]| Ye formal weepers for the sick, 152:48,024[A ]| In your last offices be quick: 152:48,025[A ]| And spare my absent friends the grief 152:48,026[A ]| To hear, yet give me no relief; 152:48,027[A ]| Expired today, entombed tomorrow, 152:48,028[A ]| When known, will save a double sorrow. 152:49,000[' ]| <\The Fable of the Bitches\> 152:49,000[' ]| 152:49,000[' ]| 152:49,001[A ]| A bitch that was full pregnant grown, 152:49,002[A ]| By all the dogs and curs in town; 152:49,003[A ]| Finding her ripened time was come, 152:49,004[A ]| Her litter teeming from her womb, 152:49,005[A ]| Went here and there, and everywhere, 152:49,006[A ]| To find an easy place to lay her. 152:49,007[A ]| At length to Music's house she came, 152:49,008[A ]| And begged like one both blind and lame; 152:49,009@b | ""My only friend, my dear,"" 152:49,009[A ]| said she, 152:49,010@b | ""You see 'tis mere necessity, 152:49,011@b | Hath sent me to your house to whelp, 152:49,012@b | I'll die, if you deny your help."" 152:49,013[A ]| With fawning whine, and rueful tone, 152:49,014[A ]| With artful sigh and feigned groan, 152:49,015[A ]| With couchant cringe, and flattering tale, 152:49,016[A ]| Smooth Bawty did so far prevail; 152:49,017[A ]| That Music gave her leave to litter, 152:49,018[A ]| But mark what followed ~~ faith, she bit her. 152:49,019[A ]| Whole baskets full of bits and scraps, 152:49,020[A ]| And broth enough to fill her paps, 152:49,021[A ]| For well she knew her numerous brood, 152:49,022[A ]| For want of milk, would suck her blood. 152:49,023[A ]| But when she thought her pains were done, 152:49,024[A ]| And now 'twas high time to be gone; 152:49,025[A ]| In civil terms, 152:49,025@c | ""My friend,"" 152:49,025[A ]| says she, 152:49,026@c | ""My house you've had on courtesy; 152:49,027@c | And now I earnestly desire, 152:49,028@c | That you would with your cubs retire: 152:49,029@c | For should you stay but one week longer, 152:49,030@c | I shall be starved with cold and hunger."" 152:49,031[A ]| The guest replied, 152:49,031@b | ""My friend, your leave, 152:49,032@b | I must a little longer crave; 152:49,033@b | Stay till my tender cubs can find 152:49,034@b | Their way ~~ for now you see they're blind; 152:49,035@b | But when we've gathered strength, I swear, 152:49,036@b | We'll to our barn again repair."" 152:49,037[A ]| The time passed on, and Music came, 152:49,038[A ]| Her kennel once again to claim; 152:49,039[A ]| But Bawty, lost to shame and honour, 152:49,040[A ]| Set her cubs at once upon her; 152:49,041[A ]| Made her retire, and quit her right, 152:49,042[A ]| And loudly cried 152:49,042@b | ""A bite, a bite."" 152:49,000[' ]| 152:49,043[A ]| Thus did the Grecian wooden horse, 152:49,044[A ]| Conceal a fatal armed force; 152:49,045[A ]| No sooner brought within the walls, 152:49,046[A ]| But Ilium's lost, and Priam falls. 152:50,000[' ]| <\Horace, Lib. 2, Sat. 6\> 152:50,000[' ]| 152:50,001[A ]| I often wished that I had clear 152:50,002[A ]| For life, six hundred pounds a year, 152:50,003[A ]| A handsome house to lodge a friend, 152:50,004[A ]| A river at my garden's end, 152:50,005[A ]| A terrace walk, and half a rood 152:50,006[A ]| Of land, set out to plant a wood. 152:50,007[A ]| Well: now I have all this and more, 152:50,008[A ]| I ask not to increase my store; 152:50,009[A ]| And should be perfectly content, 152:50,010[A ]| Could I but live on this side Trent; 152:50,011[A ]| Nor cross the Channel twice a year, 152:50,012[A ]| To spend six months with statesmen here. 152:50,013[A ]| I must by all means come to town, 152:50,014[A ]| 'Tis for the service of the crown. 152:50,015@b | ""Lewis; the Dean will be of use, 152:50,016@b | Send for him up, take no excuse."" 152:50,017[A ]| The toil, the danger of the seas; 152:50,018[A ]| Great ministers ne'er think of these; 152:50,019[A ]| Or let it cost five hundred pound, 152:50,020[A ]| No matter where the money's found; 152:50,021[A ]| It is but so much more in debt, 152:50,022[A ]| And that they ne'er considered yet. 152:50,023@c | ""Good Mr*Dean, go change your gown, 152:50,024@c | Let my Lord know you're come to town."" 152:50,025[A ]| I hurry me in haste away, 152:50,026[A ]| Not thinking it is levee day; 152:50,027[A ]| And find his honour in a pound, 152:50,028[A ]| Hemmed by a triple circle round, 152:50,029[A ]| Chequered with ribbons blue and green, 152:50,030[A ]| How should I thrust myself between? 152:50,031[A ]| Some wag observes me thus perplexed, 152:50,032[A ]| And smiling, whispers to the next, 152:50,033@d | ""I thought the Dean had been too proud, 152:50,034@d | To jostle here among a crowd."" 152:50,035[A ]| Another in a surly fit, 152:50,036[A ]| Tells me I have more zeal than wit, 152:50,037@e | ""So eager to express your love, 152:50,038@e | You ne'er consider whom you shove, 152:50,039@e | But rudely press before a duke."" 152:50,040[A ]| I own, I'm pleased with this rebuke, 152:50,041[A ]| And take it kindly meant to show 152:50,042[A ]| What I desire the world should know. 152:50,043[A ]| I get a whisper, and withdraw, 152:50,044[A ]| When twenty fools I never saw 152:50,045[A ]| Come with petitions fairly penned, 152:50,046[A ]| Desiring I would stand their friend. 152:50,047[A ]| This, humbly offers me his case: 152:50,048[A ]| That, begs my interest for a place. 152:50,049[A ]| A hundred other men's affairs 152:50,050[A ]| Like bees are humming in my ears. 152:50,051@x | ""Tomorrow my appeal comes on, 152:50,052@x | Without your help the cause is gone ~~ "" 152:50,053@x | ""The Duke expects my Lord and you, 152:50,054@x | About some great affair, at two ~~"" 152:50,055@x | ""Put my Lord*Bolingbroke in mind, 152:50,056@x | To get my warrant quickly signed: 152:50,057@x | Consider, 'tis my first request."" 152:50,058@x | Be satisfied, I'll do my best ~~ 152:50,059[A ]| Then presently he falls to tease: 152:50,060@x | ""You may for certain, if you please; 152:50,061@x | I doubt not, if his Lordship knew ~~ 152:50,062@x | And Mr*Dean, one word from you ~~ "" 152:50,063[A ]| 'Tis (let me see) three years and more 152:50,064[A ]| (October next, it will be four) 152:50,065[A ]| Since Harley bid me first attend, 152:50,066[A ]| And chose me for an humble friend; 152:50,067[A ]| Would take me in his coach to chat, 152:50,068[A ]| And question me of this and that; 152:50,069[A ]| As 152:50,069@b | ""What's o-clock?"" 152:50,069[A ]| and 152:50,069@b | ""How's the wind? 152:50,070@b | Whose chariot's that we left behind?"" 152:50,071[A ]| Or gravely try to read the lines 152:50,072[A ]| Writ underneath the country signs; 152:50,073[A ]| Or, 152:50,073@b | ""Have you nothing new today 152:50,074@b | From Pope, from Parnell or from Gay?"" 152:50,075[A ]| Such tattle often entertains 152:50,076[A ]| My Lord and me as far as Staines: 152:50,077[A ]| As once a week we travel down 152:50,078[A ]| To Windsor and again to town; 152:50,079[A ]| Where all that passes, \7inter 7nos\, 152:50,080[A ]| Might be proclaimed at Charing*Cross. 152:50,081[A ]| Yet some I know with envy swell, 152:50,082[A ]| Because they see me used so well: 152:50,083@x | ""How think you of our friend the Dean? 152:50,084@x | I wonder what some people mean; 152:50,085@x | My Lord and he are grown so great, 152:50,086@x | Always together, \9t^te*a`*te^te\: 152:50,087@x | What, they admire him for his jokes ~~ 152:50,088@x | See but the fortune of some folks!"" 152:50,089[A ]| There flies about a strange report 152:50,090[A ]| Of some express arrived at court; 152:50,091[A ]| I'm stopped by all the fools I meet, 152:50,092[A ]| And catechized in every street. 152:50,093@x | ""You, Mr*Dean, frequent the great; 152:50,094@x | Inform us, will the Emperor treat? 152:50,095@x | Or do the prints and papers lie?"" 152:50,096@a | Faith, Sir, you know as much as I. 152:50,097@x | ""Ah Doctor, how you love to jest! 152:50,098@x | 'Tis now no secret"" ~~ 152:50,098[A ]| I protest 152:50,099[A ]| 'Tis one to me. 152:50,099@x | ""Then, tell us, pray 152:50,100@x | When are the troops to have their pay?"" 152:50,101[A ]| And though I solemnly declare 152:50,102[A ]| I know no more than my Lord*Mayor, 152:50,103[A ]| They stand amazed, and think me grown 152:50,104[A ]| The closet mortal ever known. 152:50,105[A ]| Thus in a sea of folly tossed, 152:50,106[A ]| My choicest hours of life are lost; 152:50,107[A ]| Yet always wishing to retreat; 152:50,108[A ]| Oh, could I see my country seat! 152:50,109[A ]| There leaning near a gentle brook, 152:50,110[A ]| Sleep, or peruse some ancient book; 152:50,111[A ]| And there in sweet oblivion drown 152:50,112[A ]| Those cares that haunt a court and town. 152:51,000[' ]| <\To the Earl*of*Oxford, Late Lord*Treasurer\> 152:51,000[' ]| 152:51,000[' ]| 152:51,001[A ]| How blessed is he, who for his country dies: 152:51,002[A ]| Since death pursues the coward as he flies. 152:51,003[A ]| The youth, in vain, would fly from Fate's attack, 152:51,004[A ]| With trembling knees, and terror at his back; 152:51,005[A ]| Though fear should lend him pinions like the wind, 152:51,006[A ]| Yet swifter Fate will seize him from behind. 152:51,007[A ]| Virtue repulsed, yet knows not to repine; 152:51,008[A ]| But shall with unattainted honour shine; 152:51,009[A ]| Nor stoops to take the Staff, nor lays it down, 152:51,010[A ]| Just as the rabble please to smile or frown. 152:51,011[A ]| Virtue, to crown her favourites, loves to try 152:51,012[A ]| Some new unbeaten passage to the sky; 152:51,013[A ]| Where Jove a seat among the gods will give 152:51,014[A ]| To those who die, for meriting to live. 152:51,015[A ]| Next, faithful silence hath a sure reward: 152:51,016[A ]| Within our breast be every secret barred: 152:51,017[A ]| He who betrays his friend, shall never be 152:51,018[A ]| Under one roof, or in one ship with me. 152:51,019[A ]| For, who with traitors would his safety trust, 152:51,020[A ]| Lest with the wicked, heaven involve the just? 152:51,021[A ]| And, though the villain 'scape a while, he feels 152:51,022[A ]| Slow vengeance, like a bloodhound at his heels. 152:52,000[' ]| <\Dean*Swift's Answer to the Reverend*Dr*Sheridan\> 152:52,001[A ]| Sir, 152:52,002[A ]| In reading your letter alone in my hackney, 152:52,003[A ]| Your damnable riddle, my poor brains did rack nigh. 152:52,004[A ]| And when with much labour the matter I cracked, 152:52,005[A ]| I found you mistaken in matter of fact. 152:52,006[A ]| A woman's no sieve (for with that you begin) 152:52,007[A ]| Because she lets out more, then e'er she takes in. 152:52,008[A ]| And that she's a riddle, can never be right, 152:52,009[A ]| For a riddle is dark, but a woman is \light\. 152:52,010[A ]| But grant her a sieve, I can say something archer, 152:52,011[A ]| Pray what is a man? he's a fine-linen searcher. 152:52,012[A ]| Now tell me a thing that wants interpretation, 152:52,013[A ]| What name for a maid, was the first man's damnation? 152:52,014[A ]| If your worship will please to explain me this rebus, 152:52,015[A ]| I swear from henceforward you shall be my Phoebus. 152:52,000[' ]| 152:52,000[' ]| 152:52,000[' ]| 152:53,000[' ]| <\The Dean*of*St*Patrick's to Thomas*Sheridan\> 152:53,001[A ]| I cannot but think that we live in a bad age, 152:53,002[A ]| \7O 7tempora, 7o 7mores!\ as 'tis in the adage. 152:53,003[A ]| My foot was but just set out from my cathedral, 152:53,004[A ]| When into my hands comes a letter from the droll. 152:53,005[A ]| I can't pray in quiet for you and your verses, ~~ 152:53,006[A ]| But now let us hear what the muse from your car says. 152:53,007[A ]| Hum ~~ excellent good ~~ your anger was stirred: 152:53,008[A ]| Well, punners and rhymers must have the last word. 152:53,009[A ]| But let me advise you, when next I hear from you, 152:53,010[A ]| To leave off this passion which does not become you: 152:53,011[A ]| For we who debate on a subject important, 152:53,012[A ]| Must argue with calmness, or else will come short on't. 152:53,013[A ]| For myself, I protest, I care not a fiddle 152:53,014[A ]| For a riddle and sieve, or a sieve and a riddle: 152:53,015[A ]| And think of the sex as you please, I'd as lief 152:53,016[A ]| You call them a riddle, as call them a sieve. 152:53,017[A ]| Yet still you are out (though to vex you I'm loth), 152:53,018[A ]| For I'll prove it impossible they can be both. 152:53,019[A ]| A schoolboy knows this, for it plainly appears 152:53,020[A ]| That a sieve dissolves riddles by help of the shears; 152:53,021[A ]| For you can't but have heard of a trick among wizards, 152:53,022[A ]| To break open riddles with shears or with scissors. 152:53,023[A ]| Think again of the sieve, and I'll hold you a wager, 152:53,024[A ]| You dare not to question my minor or major. 152:53,025[A ]| A sieve keeps half in, and therefore, no doubt, 152:53,026[A ]| Like a woman it keeps in less than it lets out. 152:53,027[A ]| Why sure, Mr*Poet, your head got a jar 152:53,028[A ]| By riding this morning too long in your car: 152:53,029[A ]| And I wish your few friends, when they next see your car go, 152:53,030[A ]| For the sake of your senses would lay an embargo. 152:53,031[A ]| You threaten the stocks: I say you are scurrilous, 152:53,032[A ]| And you durst not talk thus if I saw you at our alehouse. 152:53,033[A ]| But as for your threats, you may do what you can, 152:53,034[A ]| I despise any poet that truckled to Dan. 152:53,035[A ]| But keep a good tongue, or you'll find, to your smart, 152:53,036[A ]| From rhyming in cars you may swing in a cart. 152:53,037[A ]| You found out my rebus with very much modesty; 152:53,038[A ]| But thanks to the lady: I'm sure she's too good to ye; 152:53,039[A ]| Till she lent you her help, you were in a fine twitter: 152:53,040[A ]| You hit it, you say ~~ you're a delicate hitter. 152:53,041[A ]| How could you forget so ungratefully a lass? 152:53,042[A ]| And if you be my Phoebus, pray who was your Pallas? 152:53,043[A ]| As for your new rebus, or riddle, or crux, 152:53,044[A ]| I will either explain, or repay it by trucks; 152:53,045[A ]| Though your lords, and your dogs, and your catches, methinks, 152:53,046[A ]| Are harder than ever were put by the Sphinx. 152:53,047[A ]| And thus I am fully revenged for your late tricks, 152:53,048[A ]| Which is at present all from 152:53,049[A ]| Dean*of*St*Patrick's. 152:53,000[' ]| 152:53,000[' ]| 152:53,000[' ]| 152:54,000[' ]| <\A Left-Handed Letter to Dr*Sheridan\> 152:54,001[A ]| Sir, 152:54,002[A ]| Delany reports it, and he has a shrewd tongue, 152:54,003[A ]| That we both act the part of the clown and the cow-dung; 152:54,004[A ]| We lie cramming ourselves, and are ready to burst, 152:54,005[A ]| Yet still are no wiser than we were at first. 152:54,006[A ]| \7Pudet 7haec 7opporbria\, I freely must tell ye, 152:54,007[A ]| \7Et 7diu 7potuisse, 7et 7non 7potuisse 7refelli.\ 152:54,008[A ]| Though Delany advised you to plague me no longer, 152:54,009[A ]| You reply and rejoin like Hoadly of Bangor. 152:54,010[A ]| I must now, at one sitting, pay off my old score: 152:54,011[A ]| How many to answer? One, two, three, four. 152:54,012[A ]| But because the three former are long ago past, 152:54,013[A ]| I shall, for method sake, begin with the last. 152:54,014[A ]| You treat me like a boy that knocks down his foe, 152:54,015[A ]| Who, ere t'other gets up, demands the riding blow. 152:54,016[A ]| Yet I know a young rogue, that thrown flat on the field, 152:54,017[A ]| Would, as he lay under, cry out ,""Sirrah, yield"": 152:54,018[A ]| So, the French, when our generals soundly did pay 'em, 152:54,019[A ]| Went triumphant to church, and sang stoutle \7Te*Deum\: 152:54,020[A ]| So the famous Tom*Leigh, when quite run aground, 152:54,021[A ]| Comes off by out-laughing the company round. 152:54,022[A ]| In every vile pamphlet you'll read the same fancies, 152:54,023[A ]| Having thus overthrown all our further advances. 152:54,024[A ]| My offers of peace you ill understood. 152:54,025[A ]| Friend Sheridan, when will you know your own good? 152:54,026[A ]| 'Twas to teach you in modester language your duty; 152:54,027[A ]| For, were you a dog, I could not be rude t'ye. 152:54,028[A ]| As a good quiet soul, who no mischief intends 152:54,029[A ]| To a quarrelsome fellow, cries, ""Let us be friends."" 152:54,030[A ]| But we like Antaeus and Hercules fight, 152:54,031[A ]| The oftener you fall, the oftener you write; 152:54,032[A ]| And I'll use you as he did that overgrown clown, 152:54,033[A ]| I'll first take you up, and then take you down: 152:54,034[A ]| And, 'tis your own case, for you never can wound 152:54,035[A ]| The worst dunce in your school, till he's heaved from the ground. 152:55,000[' ]| <\The Dean to Thomas*Sheridan\> 152:55,001[A ]| Sir, 152:55,002[A ]| When I saw you today, as I went with Lord*Anglesey, 152:55,003[A ]| Lord! said I, who's that person? how awkwardly dangles he! 152:55,004[A ]| When whip you trot up, without minding your betters, 152:55,005[A ]| To the very coach side, and threaten your letters. 152:55,006[A ]| Is the poison and dagger you boast in your jaws, trow? 152:55,007[A ]| Are you still in your cart with \7convitia 7ex 7plaustro\? 152:55,008[A ]| But to scold is your trade, which I soon should be foiled in, 152:55,009[A ]| For scolding is just \7quasi 7diceres\ ~~ school-din: 152:55,010[A ]| And I think I may say, you could many shillings get, 152:55,011[A ]| Were you dressed like a bawd, and sold oysters at Billingsgate. 152:55,012[A ]| But coach it or cart it, I'd have you know, sirrah, 152:55,013[A ]| I'll write, though I am forced to write in a wheelbarrow: 152:55,014[A ]| Nay, hector and swagger, you'll still find me staunch, 152:55,015[A ]| And you and your cart shall give me \9carte 9blanche\. 152:55,016[A ]| Since you write in a cart, keep it \7tecta 7et 7sarta\, 152:55,017[A ]| 'Tis all you have for't; 'tis your best Magna*Carta; 152:55,018[A ]| And I love you so well, as I told you long ago, 152:55,019[A ]| That I'll never give my vote for \7Delanda*Cart-ago\. 152:55,020[A ]| Now you write from your cellar ~~ I still find out your art, 152:55,021[A ]| You rhyme, as folks fence, in \9tierce\ and \9carte\. 152:55,022[A ]| Your ink is your poison, your pen is what not; 152:55,023[A ]| Your ink is your drink, your pen is your pot. 152:55,024[A ]| To my goddess Melpomene, pride of her sex, 152:55,025[A ]| I gave, as you beg, your most humble respects: 152:55,026[A ]| The rest of your compliment I dare not tell her, 152:55,027[A ]| For she never descends so low as the cellar; 152:55,028[A ]| But before you can put yourself under her banners, 152:55,029[A ]| She declares from her throne you must learn better manners. 152:55,030[A ]| If once in your cellar my Phoebus should shine, 152:55,031[A ]| I'll tell you I'd not give a fig for your wine; 152:55,032[A ]| So I'll leave him behind, for I certainly know it, 152:55,033[A ]| What he ripens above ground, he sours below it. 152:55,034[A ]| But why should we fight thus, my partner so dear, 152:55,035[A ]| With three hundred and sixty-five poems a year? 152:55,036[A ]| Let's quarrel no longer, since Dan and George*Rochfort 152:55,037[A ]| Will laugh in their sleeves: I can tell you they watch for't. 152:55,038[A ]| Then George will rejoice, and Dan will sing high day: 152:55,039[A ]| \7Hoc 7Ithacus 7velit, 7et 7magni 7mercentur 7Atridae\. 152:55,040[A ]| Jon%*Swift. 152:55,000[' ]| 152:55,000[' ]| 152:55,000[' ]| 152:55,000[' ]| 152:55,000[' ]| 152:55,000[' ]| <15th 1718.> 152:56,000[' ]| <\To Thomas*Sheridan\> 152:56,001[A ]| Dear Tom, I'm surprised that your verse did not jingle; 152:56,002[A ]| But your rhyme was not double, 'cause your sight was but single. 152:56,003[A ]| For, as Helsham observes, there's nothing can chime, 152:56,004[A ]| Or fit more exact than one eye and one rhyme. 152:56,005[A ]| If you had not took Physic, I'd pay off your bacon, 152:56,006[A ]| But now I'll write short, for fear you're short taken. 152:56,007[A ]| Besides, Dick forbid me, and called me a fool; 152:56,008[A ]| For he says, short as 'tis, it will give you a stool. 152:57,000[' ]| <\Sheridan, a Goose\> 152:57,001[A ]| Tom, for a goose you keep but base quills, 152:57,002[A ]| They're fit for nothing else but pasquils. 152:57,003[A ]| I've often heard it from the wise, 152:57,004[A ]| That inflammations in the eyes 152:57,005[A ]| Will quickly fall upon the tongue, 152:57,006[A ]| And thence, as famed John*Bunyan sung, 152:57,007[A ]| From out the pen will presently 152:57,008[A ]| On paper dribble daintily. 152:57,009[A ]| Suppose I called you goose, it is hard 152:57,010[A ]| One word should stick thus in your gizzard. 152:57,011[A ]| You're my goose, and no other man's; 152:57,012[A ]| And you know all my geese are swans: 152:57,013[A ]| Only one scurvy thing I find, 152:57,014[A ]| Swans sing when dying, geese when blind. 152:57,015[A ]| But now I smoke where lies the slander, ~~ 152:57,016[A ]| I called you goose instead of gander; 152:57,017[A ]| For that, dear Tom, ne'er fret and vex, 152:57,018[A ]| I'm sure you cackle like the sex. 152:57,019[A ]| I know the gander always goes 152:57,020[A ]| With a quill stuck across his nose. 152:57,021[A ]| So your eternal pen is still, 152:57,022[A ]| Or in your claw, or in your bill. 152:57,023[A ]| But whether you can tread or hatch, 152:57,024[A ]| I've something else to do than watch. 152:57,025[A ]| As for you're writing I am dead, 152:57,026[A ]| I leave it for the second head. 152:57,000[' ]| 152:57,000[' ]| 152:58,000[' ]| <\Mary the Cook-Maid's Letter to Dr*Sheridan\> 152:58,001[C ]| Well; if ever I saw such another man since my mother bound my 152:58,001[C ]| head 152:58,002[C ]| You a gentleman! marry come up, I wonder where you were bred? 152:58,003[C ]| I am sure such words does not become a man of your cloth, 152:58,004[C ]| I would not give such language to a dog, faith and troth. 152:58,005[C ]| Yes; you called my master a knave; fie Mr*Sheridan, 'tis a shame 152:58,006[C ]| For a parson, who should know better things, to come out with 152:58,006[C ]| such a name. 152:58,007[C ]| Knave in your teeth, Mr*Sheridan, 'tis both a shame and a sin, 152:58,008[C ]| And the Dean my master is an honester man than you and all your 152:58,008[C ]| kin: 152:58,009[C ]| He has more goodness in his little finger, than you have in your 152:58,009[C ]| whole body, 152:58,010[C ]| My master is a pardonable man, and not a spindle-shanked 152:58,010[C ]| hoddy-doddy. 152:58,011[C ]| And now whereby I find you would fain make an excuse, 152:58,012[C ]| Because my master one day, in anger, called you goose. 152:58,013[C ]| Which, and I am sure I have been his servant four years since 152:58,013[C ]| October, 152:58,014[C ]| And he never called me worse than ""sweetheart"", drunk or sober: 152:58,015[C ]| Not that I know his Reverence was ever concerned to my 152:58,015[C ]| knowledge, 152:58,016[C ]| Though you and your come-rogues keep him out so late in your 152:58,016[C ]| wicked college. 152:58,017[C ]| You say you will eat grass on his grave: a Christian eat grass! 152:58,018[C ]| Whereby you now confess yourself to be a goose or an ass: 152:58,019[C ]| But that's as much as to say, that my master should die before ye; 152:58,020[C ]| Well, well, that's as God pleases, and I don't believe that's a true 152:58,020[C ]| story, 152:58,021[C ]| And to say I told you so, and you may go tell my master; what care 152:58,021[C ]| I? 152:58,022[C ]| And I don't care who knows it, 'tis all one to Mary. 152:58,023[C ]| Everybody knows, that I love to tell truth, and shame the devil; 152:58,024[C ]| I am but a poor servant, but I think gentlefolks should be civil. 152:58,025[C ]| Besides, you found fault with our victuals one day that you was 152:58,025[C ]| here, 152:58,026[C ]| I remember it was upon a Tuesday, of all days in the year. 152:58,027[C ]| And Saunders the man says, you are always jesting and mocking, 152:58,028@b | ""Mary"" 152:58,028[C ]| said he, (one day, as I was mending my master's stocking,) 152:58,029@b | ""My master is so fond of that minister that keeps the school; 152:58,030@b | I thought my master a wise man, but that man makes him a fool."" 152:58,031@c | ""Saunders"" 152:58,031[C ]| said I, 152:58,031@c | ""I would rather than a quart of ale, 152:58,032@c | He would come into our kitchen, and I would pin a dishclout to 152:58,032@c | his tail."" 152:58,033[C ]| And now I must go, and get Saunders to direct this letter, 152:58,034[C ]| For I write but a sad scrawl, but sister Marget she writes better. 152:58,035[C ]| Well, but I must run and make the bed before my master comes 152:58,035[C ]| from prayers, 152:58,036[C ]| And see now, it strikes ten, and I hear him coming upstairs: 152:58,037[C ]| Whereof I could say more to your verses, if I could write written 152:58,037[C ]| hand, 152:58,038[C ]| And so I remain in a civil way, your servant to command, 152:58,039[C ]| MARY. 152:59,000[' ]| <\A Letter to the Reverend Dr*Sheridan\> 152:59,000[' ]| 152:59,001[A ]| Whate'er your predecessors taught us, 152:59,002[A ]| I have a great esteem for Plautus; 152:59,003[A ]| And think your boys may gather there-hence 152:59,004[A ]| More wit and humour than from Terence. 152:59,005[A ]| But as to comic Aristophanes, 152:59,006[A ]| The rogue's too bawdy and too prophane is. 152:59,007[A ]| I went in vain to look for Eupolis, 152:59,008[A ]| Down in the Strand just where the new pole is, 152:59,009[A ]| For I can tell you one thing, that I can, 152:59,010[A ]| You will not find it in the Vatican. 152:59,011[A ]| He and Cratinus used, as Horace says, 152:59,012[A ]| To take his greatest grandees for asses. 152:59,013[A ]| Poets, in those days, used to venture high, 152:59,014[A ]| But these are lost full many a century. 152:59,015[A ]| Thus you may see, dear friend, \7ex 7pede\ hence 152:59,016[A ]| My judgement of the old comedians. 152:59,017[A ]| Proceed to tragics, first Euripides 152:59,018[A ]| (An author, where I sometimes dip a-days) 152:59,019[A ]| Is rightly censured by the Stagirite, 152:59,020[A ]| Who says, his numbers do not fadge a-right. 152:59,021[A ]| A friend of mine, that author despises 152:59,022[A ]| So much, he swears the very best piece is, 152:59,023[A ]| For aught he knows, as bad as Thespis's. 152:59,024[A ]| And that a woman, in those tragedies 152:59,025[A ]| Commonly speaking, but a sad jade is. 152:59,026[A ]| At least, I'm well assured, that no folk lays 152:59,027[A ]| The weight on him, they do on Sophocles. 152:59,028[A ]| But above all I prefer Aeschylus, 152:59,029[A ]| Whose moving touches, when they please, kill us. 152:59,030[A ]| And now I find my muse but ill able 152:59,031[A ]| To hold out longer in trisyllable. 152:59,032[A ]| I chose these rhymes out, for their difficulty. 152:59,033[A ]| Will you return as hard ones, if I call t'ye? 152:60,000[' ]| <\To Mr*Delany\> 152:60,001[A ]| To you, whose virtues I must own 152:60,002[A ]| With shame, I have too lately known; 152:60,003[A ]| To you, by art and nature taught 152:60,004[A ]| To be the man I long have sought, 152:60,005[A ]| Had not ill fate, perverse and blind, 152:60,006[A ]| Placed you in life too far behind; 152:60,007[A ]| Or what I should repine at more, 152:60,008[A ]| Placed me in life too far before; 152:60,009[A ]| To you the muse this verse bestows, 152:60,010[A ]| Which might as well have been in prose; 152:60,011[A ]| No thought, no fancy, no sublime, 152:60,012[A ]| But simple topics told in rhyme. 152:60,013[A ]| Three gifts for conversation fit 152:60,014[A ]| Are humour, raillery and wit: 152:60,015[A ]| The last, as boundless as the wind, 152:60,016[A ]| Is well conceived though not defined; 152:60,017[A ]| For, sure, by wit is only meant 152:60,018[A ]| Applying what we first invent: 152:60,019[A ]| What humour is, not all the tribe 152:60,020[A ]| Of logic-mongers can describe; 152:60,021[A ]| Here, only nature acts her part, 152:60,022[A ]| Unhelped by practice, books, or art. 152:60,023[A ]| For wit and humour differ quite, 152:60,024[A ]| That gives surprise, and this delight: 152:60,025[A ]| Humour is odd, grotesque, and wild, 152:60,026[A ]| Only by affectation spoiled, 152:60,027[A ]| 'Tis never by invention got, 152:60,028[A ]| Men have it when thy know it not. 152:60,029[A ]| Our conversation to refine 152:60,030[A ]| True humour must with wit combine; 152:60,031[A ]| From both, we learn to rally well; 152:60,032[A ]| Wherein French writers most excel: 152:60,033[A ]| Voiture in various lights displays 152:60,034[A ]| That irony which turns to praise; 152:60,035[A ]| His genius first found out the rule 152:60,036[A ]| For an obliging ridicule: 152:60,037[A ]| He flatters with peculiar air 152:60,038[A ]| The brave, the witty, and the fair; 152:60,039[A ]| And fools would fancy he intends 152:60,040[A ]| A satire where he most commends. 152:60,041[A ]| But as a poor pretending beau 152:60,042[A ]| Because he fain would make a show, 152:60,043[A ]| Nor can afford to buy gold lace, 152:60,044[A ]| Takes up with copper in the place; 152:60,045[A ]| So, the pert dunces of mankind 152:60,046[A ]| Whene'er they would be thought refined, 152:60,047[A ]| Because the difference lies abstruse 152:60,048[A ]| 'Twixt raillery and gross abuse, 152:60,049[A ]| To show their parts will scold and rail, 152:60,050[A ]| Like porters o'er a pot of ale. 152:60,051[A ]| Such is that clan of boisterous bears 152:60,052[A ]| Always together by the ears; 152:60,053[A ]| Shrewd fellows, and arch wags, a tribe 152:60,054[A ]| That meet for nothing but to gibe; 152:60,055[A ]| Who first run one another down, 152:60,056[A ]| And then fall foul on all the town; 152:60,057[A ]| Skilled in the horse-laugh and dry rub, 152:60,058[A ]| And called by excellence, ""the Club"": 152:60,059[A ]| I mean your Butler, Dawson, Carr, 152:60,060[A ]| All special friends, and always jar. 152:60,061[A ]| The mettled and the vicious steed 152:60,062[A ]| Do not more differ in their breed, 152:60,063[A ]| Nay, Voiture is as like Tom*Leigh, 152:60,064[A ]| As rudeness is to repartee. 152:60,065[A ]| If what you said, I wish unspoke, 152:60,066[A ]| 'Twill not suffice, it was a joke. 152:60,067[A ]| Reproach not though in jest a friend 152:60,068[A ]| For those defects he cannot mend; 152:60,069[A ]| His lineage, calling, shape or sense 152:60,070[A ]| If named with scorn, gives just offence. 152:60,071[A ]| What use in life, to make men fret? 152:60,072[A ]| Part in worse humour than they met? 152:60,073[A ]| Thus all society is lost, 152:60,074[A ]| Men laugh at one another's cost; 152:60,075[A ]| And half the company is teased 152:60,076[A ]| That came together to be pleased: 152:60,077[A ]| For all buffoons have most in view 152:60,078[A ]| To please themselves by vexing you. 152:60,079[A ]| When jests are carried on too far, 152:60,080[A ]| And the loud laugh proclaims the war; 152:60,081[A ]| You keep your countenance for shame 152:60,082[A ]| Yet still you think your friend to blame. 152:60,083[A ]| And though men cry, they love a jest, 152:60,084[A ]| 'Tis but when others stand the test, 152:60,085[A ]| For would you have their meaning known? 152:60,086[A ]| They love a jest ~~ when 'tis their own. 152:60,087[A ]| You wonder now to see me write 152:60,088[A ]| So gravely, where the subject's light. 152:60,089[A ]| Some part of what I here design 152:60,090[A ]| Regards a friend of yours and mine, 152:60,091[A ]| Who full of humour, fire and wit, 152:60,092[A ]| Not always judges what is fit; 152:60,093[A ]| But loves to take prodigious rounds, 152:60,094[A ]| And sometimes walks beyond his bounds. 152:60,095[A ]| You must, although the point be nice, 152:60,096[A ]| Venture to give him some advice. 152:60,097[A ]| Few hints from you will set him right, 152:60,098[A ]| And teach him how to be polite. 152:60,099[A ]| Let him, like you, observe with care 152:60,100[A ]| Whom to be hard on, whom to spare: 152:60,101[A ]| Nor indiscreetly to suppose 152:60,102[A ]| All subjects like Dan*Jackson's nose. 152:60,103[A ]| To study the obliging jest, 152:60,104[A ]| By reading those who teach it best. 152:60,105[A ]| For prose, I recommend Voiture's, 152:60,106[A ]| For verse, (I speak my judgement) yours: 152:60,107[A ]| He'll find the secret out from thence 152:60,108[A ]| To rhyme all day without offence; 152:60,109[A ]| And I no more shall then accuse 152:60,110[A ]| The flirts of his ill-mannered muse. 152:60,111[A ]| If he be guilty, you must mend him, 152:60,112[A ]| If he be innocent, defend him. 152:61,000[' ]| <\On Dan*Jackson's Picture\> 152:61,001[A ]| Whilst you three merry poets traffic 152:61,002[A ]| To give us a description graphic 152:61,003[A ]| Of Dan's large nose, in modern Sapphic, 152:61,004[A ]| I spend my time in making sermons, 152:61,005[A ]| Or writing libels on the Germans, 152:61,006[A ]| Or murmuring at Whigs' preferments. 152:61,007[A ]| But when I would find rhyme for Rochfort, 152:61,008[A ]| And look in English, French, and Scotch for't, 152:61,009[A ]| At last I'm fairly forced to botch for't. 152:61,010[A ]| Bid Lady*Betty recollect her, 152:61,011[A ]| And tell who was it could direct her 152:61,012[A ]| To draw the face of such a sceptre. 152:61,013[A ]| I must confess that as to me, sirs, 152:61,014[A ]| Though I never saw her hold the scissors, 152:61,015[A ]| I now could safely swear it is hers. 152:61,016[A ]| 'Tis true no nose could come in better, 152:61,017[A ]| 'Tis a vast subject stuffed with matter, 152:61,018[A ]| Which all may handle, none may flatter. 152:61,019[A ]| Take courage, Dan, this plainly shows, 152:61,020[A ]| That not the wisest mortal knows 152:61,021[A ]| What fortune may befall his nose. 152:61,022[A ]| Show me the brightest Irish toast, 152:61,023[A ]| Who from her lover e'er could boast, 152:61,024[A ]| Above a song or two at most: 152:61,025[A ]| For thee three poets are drudging all, 152:61,026[A ]| To praise the cheeks, chin, nose, the bridge and all, 152:61,027[A ]| Both of the picture and original. 152:61,028[A ]| Thy nose's length and fame extend 152:61,029[A ]| So far, dear Dan, that every friend 152:61,030[A ]| Tries who shall have it by the end. 152:61,031[A ]| And future poets, as they rise, 152:61,032[A ]| Shall read with envy and surprise, 152:61,033[A ]| Thy nose outshining Celia's eyes. 152:62,000[' ]| <\Dan*Jackson's Reply\> 152:62,000[' ]| 152:62,001[B ]| Wearied with saying grace and prayer, 152:62,002[B ]| I hastened down to country air, 152:62,003[B ]| To read your answer, and prepare 152:62,004[B ]| Reply to't. 152:62,005[B ]| But your fair lines so grossly flatter, 152:62,006[B ]| Pray do they praise me or bespatter? 152:62,007[B ]| I must suspect you mean the latter, 152:62,008[B ]| Ah sly-boot! 152:62,009[B ]| It must be so; what else, alas, 152:62,010[B ]| Can mean my culling of a face, 152:62,011[B ]| And all that stuff of toilet, glass, 152:62,012[B ]| And box-comb? 152:62,013[B ]| But be't as 'twill, this you must grant, 152:62,014[B ]| That you're a daub, whilst I but paint, 152:62,015[B ]| Then which of us two is the quaint-er 152:62,016[B ]| coxcomb? 152:62,017[B ]| I value not your jokes of noose, 152:62,018[B ]| Your gibes and all your foul abuse, 152:62,019[B ]| More than the dirt beneath my shoes, 152:62,020[B ]| Nor fear it. 152:62,021[B ]| Yet one thing vexes me, I own, 152:62,022[B ]| Thou sorry scarecrow of skin and bone, 152:62,023[B ]| To be called lean by a skeleton, 152:62,024[B ]| Who'd bear it? 152:62,025[B ]| 'Tis true indeed, to curry friends, 152:62,026[B ]| You seem to praise to make amends, 152:62,027[B ]| And yet before your stanza ends 152:62,028[B ]| You flout me 152:62,029[B ]| 'Bout latent charms beneath my clothes; 152:62,030[B ]| For everyone that knows me, knows 152:62,031[B ]| That I have nothing like my nose 152:62,032[B ]| About me. 152:62,033[B ]| I pass now where you steer and laugh 152:62,034[B ]| 'Cause I call Dan my better half, 152:62,035[B ]| Oh, there you think you have me safe! 152:62,036[B ]| But hold sir, 152:62,037[B ]| Is not a penny often found 152:62,038[B ]| To be much greater than a pound? 152:62,039[B ]| By your good leave, my most profound 152:62,040[B ]| And bold sir, 152:62,041[B ]| Dan's noble metal, Sherry base; 152:62,042[B ]| So Dan's the better, though the less, 152:62,043[B ]| An ounce of gold's worth ten of brass, 152:62,044[B ]| Dull pedant. 152:62,045[B ]| As to your spelling, let me see, 152:62,046[B ]| If S*H*E makes \sher\, and R*I makes \ry\, 152:62,047[B ]| Good spelling, master, your crany 152:62,048[B ]| Has lead on't. 152:63,000[' ]| <\Another Reply by the Dean\> 152:63,000[' ]| 152:63,001[B ]| Three days for an answer I have waited, 152:63,002[B ]| I thought an ace you'd ne'er have bated, 152:63,003[B ]| And art thou forced to yield, ill-fated 152:63,004[B ]| Poetaster? 152:63,005[B ]| Henceforth acknowledge, that a nose 152:63,006[B ]| Of thy dimension's fit for prose, 152:63,007[B ]| But everyone that knows Dan, knows 152:63,008[B ]| Thy master. 152:63,009[B ]| Blush for ill spelling, for ill lines, 152:63,010[B ]| And fly with hurry to Ramines; 152:63,011[B ]| Thy fame, thy genius now declines, 152:63,012[B ]| Proud boaster. 152:63,013[B ]| I hear with some concern you roar, 152:63,014[B ]| And flying think to quit the score, 152:63,015[B ]| By clapping billets on your door 152:63,016[B ]| And posts, sir. 152:63,017[B ]| Thy ruin, Tom, I never meant, 152:63,018[B ]| I'm grieved to hear your banishment, 152:63,019[B ]| But pleased to find you do relent 152:63,020[B ]| And cry on. 152:63,021[B ]| I mauled you when you looked so bluff, 152:63,022[B ]| But now I'll secret keep your stuff; 152:63,023[B ]| For know, prostration is enough 152:63,024[B ]| To the lion. 152:64,000[' ]| <\Sheridan's Submission\> 152:64,000[' ]| 152:64,000[' ]| <\7Cedo 7jam, 7misrae 7cognoscens 7proemia 7rixae,\> 152:64,000[' ]| <\7Si 7rixa 7est, 7whi 7tu 7pulsas, 7ego 7vapulo 7tantum.\> 152:64,001[B ]| Poor Sherry, inglorious, 152:64,002[B ]| To Dan the victorious, 152:64,003[B ]| Presents, as 'tis fitting, 152:64,004[B ]| Petition and greeting. 152:64,005[B ]| To you victorious and brave, 152:64,006[B ]| Your new subdued and suppliant slave 152:64,007[B ]| Most humbly sues for pardon. 152:64,008[B ]| Who when I fought still cut me down, 152:64,009[B ]| And when I, vanquished, fled the town, 152:64,010[B ]| Pursued and laid me hard on. 152:64,011[B ]| Now lowly crouched, I cry ""Peccavi"", 152:64,012[B ]| And prostrate, supplicate \9pour 9ma 9vie\. 152:64,013[B ]| Your mercy I rely on. 152:64,014[B ]| For you, my conqueror and my king, 152:64,015[B ]| In pardoning, as in punishing, 152:64,016[B ]| Will show yourself a lion. 152:64,017[B ]| Alas, sir I had no design, 152:64,018[B ]| But was unwarily drawn in; 152:64,019[B ]| For spite I ne'er had any. 152:64,020[B ]| 'Twas the damned squire with the hard name, 152:64,021[B ]| The de'il too that owed me a shame, 152:64,022[B ]| The devil and Delany. 152:64,023[B ]| They tempted me to attack your highness, 152:64,024[B ]| And then, with wonted wile and slyness, 152:64,025[B ]| They left me in the lurch. 152:64,026[B ]| Unhappy wretch! for now, I ween, 152:64,027[B ]| I've nothing left to vent my spleen 152:64,028[B ]| But ferula and birch; 152:64,029[B ]| And they, alas, yield small relief, 152:64,030[B ]| Seem rather to renew my grief, 152:64,031[B ]| My wounds bleed all anew: 152:64,032[B ]| For every stroke goes to my heart, 152:64,033[B ]| And at each last I feel the smart 152:64,034[B ]| Of lash laid on by you. 152:65,000[' ]| <\The Author's Manner of Living\> 152:65,001[A ]| On rainy days alone I dine, 152:65,002[A ]| Upon a chick, and pint of wine. 152:65,003[A ]| On rainy days, I dine alone, 152:65,004[A ]| And pick my chicken to the bone: 152:65,005[A ]| But this my servants much enrages, 152:65,006[A ]| No scraps remain to save board-wages. 152:65,007[A ]| In weather fine I nothing spend, 152:65,008[A ]| But often sponge upon a friend: 152:65,009[A ]| Yet where he's not so rich as I; 152:65,010[A ]| I pay my club, and so God b' y' ~~ 152:66,000[' ]| <\Stella's Birthday\> 152:66,000[' ]| 152:66,001[A ]| Stella this day is thirty-four, 152:66,002[A ]| (We shan't dispute a year or more:) 152:66,003[A ]| However Stella, be not troubled, 152:66,004[A ]| Although thy size and years are doubled, 152:66,005[A ]| Since first I saw thee at sixteen, 152:66,006[A ]| The brightest virgin on the green. 152:66,007[A ]| So little is thy form declined; 152:66,008[A ]| Made up so largely in thy mind. 152:66,009[A ]| Oh, would it please the gods to \split\ 152:66,010[A ]| Thy beauty, size, and years, and wit, 152:66,011[A ]| No age could furnish out a pair 152:66,012[A ]| Of nymphs so graceful, wise and fair: 152:66,013[A ]| With half the lustre of your eyes, 152:66,014[A ]| With half your wit, your years, and size: 152:66,015[A ]| And then before it grew too late, 152:66,016[A ]| How should I beg of gentle fate, 152:66,017[A ]| (That either nymph might have her swain,) 152:66,018[A ]| To split my worship too in twain. 152:67,000[' ]| <\A Quiet Life and a Good Name\> 152:67,000[' ]| 152:67,001[' ]| Nell scolded in so loud a din, 152:67,002[' ]| That Will durst hardly venture in: 152:67,003[' ]| He marked the conjugal dispute; 152:67,004[' ]| Nell roared incessant, Dick sat mute: 152:67,005[' ]| But, when he saw his friend appear 152:67,006[' ]| Cried bravely, 152:67,006[B ]| ""Patience, good my dear."" 152:67,007[' ]| At sight of Will she bawled no more, 152:67,008[' ]| But hurried oout, and clapped the door. 152:67,009[C ]| ""Why Dick! the devil's in thy Nell,"" 152:67,010[' ]| Quoth Will; 152:67,010[C ]| ""thy house is worse than hell: 152:67,011[C ]| Why, what a peal the jade has rung! 152:67,012[C ]| Damn her, why don't you slit her tongue? 152:67,013[C ]| For nothing else will make it cease."" 152:67,014[B ]| ""Dear Will, I suffer this for peace; 152:67,015[B ]| I never quarrel with my wife, 152:67,016[B ]| I bear it for a quiet life. 152:67,017[B ]| Scripture you know exhorts us to it; 152:67,018[B ]| Bids us to \seek peace and ensue it\."" 152:67,019[' ]| Will went again to visit Dick 152:67,020[' ]| And entering in the very nick, 152:67,021[' ]| He saw virago Nell belabour, 152:67,022[' ]| With Dick's own staff, his peaceful neighbour; 152:67,023[' ]| Poor Will, who needs must interpose, 152:67,024[' ]| Received a brace or two of blows. 152:67,025[' ]| But now, to make my story short, 152:67,026[' ]| Will drew out Dick to take a quart, 152:67,027[C ]| ""Why Dick, thy wife has devilish whims: 152:67,028[C ]| Od's-buds, why don't you break her limbs? 152:67,029[C ]| If she were mine, and had such tricks, 152:67,030[C ]| I'd teach her how to handle sticks: 152:67,031[C ]| Zounds, I would ship her to Jamaica 152:67,032[C ]| And truck the carrion for tobacca; 152:67,033[C ]| I'd send her far enough away ~~ "" 152:67,034[B ]| ""Dear Will; but what would people say? 152:67,035[B ]| Lord! I should get so ill a name, 152:67,036[B ]| The neighbours round would cry out shame."" 152:67,037[' ]| Dick suffered for his peace and credit; 152:67,038[' ]| But who believed him when he said it? 152:67,039[' ]| Can he who makes himself a slave, 152:67,040[' ]| Consult his peace, or credit save? 152:67,041[' ]| Dick found it by his ill success, 152:67,042[' ]| His quiet small, his credit less. 152:67,043[' ]| She served him at the usual rate; 152:67,044[' ]| She stunned, and then she broke his pate. 152:67,045[' ]| And what he thought the hardest case, 152:67,046[' ]| The parish jeered him to his face: 152:67,047[' ]| Those men who wore the breeches last, 152:67,048[' ]| Called him a cuckold, fool and beast. 152:67,049[' ]| At home, he was pursued with noise; 152:67,050[' ]| Abroad, was pestered by the boys. 152:67,051[' ]| Within, his wife would break his bones, 152:67,052[' ]| Without, they pelted him with stones: 152:67,053[' ]| The prentices procured a riding 152:67,054[' ]| To act his patience and her chiding. 152:67,055[' ]| False patience, and mistaken pride! 152:67,056[' ]| There are ten thousand Dicks beside; 152:67,057[' ]| Slaves to their quiet and good name, 152:67,058[' ]| Are used like Dick, and bear the blame. 152:68,000[' ]| <\Phyllis\> 152:68,000[' ]| 152:68,001[' ]| Desponding Phyllis was endued 152:68,002[' ]| With every talent of a prude: 152:68,003[' ]| She trembled when a man drew near; 152:68,004[' ]| Salute her, and she turned her ear: 152:68,005[' ]| If o'er against her you were placed 152:68,006[' ]| She durst not look above your waist: 152:68,007[' ]| She'd rather take you to her bed, 152:68,008[' ]| Than let you see her dress her head; 152:68,009[' ]| In church you heard her, through the crowd 152:68,010[' ]| Repeat the absolution loud; 152:68,011[' ]| In church, secure behind her fan 152:68,012[' ]| She durst behold that monster, man: 152:68,013[' ]| There practised how to place her head, 152:68,014[' ]| And bit her lips to make them red; 152:68,015[' ]| Or on the mat devoutly kneeling 152:68,016[' ]| Would lift her eyes up to the ceiling, 152:68,017[' ]| And heave her bosom, unaware, 152:68,018[' ]| For neighbouring beaux to see it bare. 152:68,019[' ]| At length a lucky lover came, 152:68,020[' ]| And found admittance to the dame. 152:68,021[' ]| Suppose all parties now agreed, 152:68,022[' ]| The writings drawn, the lawyer fee'd, 152:68,023[' ]| The vicar and the ring bespoke: 152:68,024[' ]| Guess, how could such a match be broke? 152:68,025[' ]| See then what mortals place their bliss in! 152:68,026[' ]| Next morn betimes the bride was missing. 152:68,027[' ]| The mother screamed, the father chid; 152:68,028[' ]| Where can this idle wretch be hid? 152:68,029[' ]| No news of Phyl! The bridegroom came, 152:68,030[' ]| And thought his bride had skulked for shame, 152:68,031[' ]| Because her father used to say 152:68,032[' ]| The girl had such a bashful way. 152:68,033[' ]| Now John, the butler, must be sent 152:68,034[' ]| To learn the road that Phyllis went; 152:68,035[' ]| The groom was wished to saddle Crop; 152:68,036[' ]| For John must neither light nor stop; 152:68,037[' ]| But find her whereso'er she fled, 152:68,038[' ]| And bring her back, alive or dead. 152:68,039[' ]| See here again the devil to do; 152:68,040[' ]| For truly John was missing too. 152:68,041[' ]| The horse and pillion both were gone! 152:68,042[' ]| Phyllis, it seems, was fled with John. 152:68,043[' ]| Old Madam, who went up to find 152:68,044[' ]| What papers Phyl had left behind, 152:68,045[' ]| A letter on the toilet sees, 152:68,046@b | To my much honoured father, ~~ these: 152:68,047[' ]| ('Tis always done, romances tell us, 152:68,048[' ]| When daughters run away with fellows) 152:68,049[' ]| Filled with the choicest commonplaces, 152:68,050[' ]| By others used in the like cases; 152:68,051@b | ""That, long ago a fortune-teller 152:68,052@b | Exactly said what now befell her; 152:68,053@b | And in a glass had made her see 152:68,054@b | A serving-man of low degree. 152:68,055@b | It was her fate, must be forgiven, 152:68,056@b | For marriages were made in heaven: 152:68,057@b | His pardon begged, but to be plain, 152:68,058@b | She'd do't if 'twere to do again. 152:68,059@b | Thank God, 'twas neither shame nor sin; 152:68,060@b | For John was come of honest kin. 152:68,061@b | Love never thinks of rich and poor, 152:68,062@b | She'd beg with John from door to door: 152:68,063@b | Forgive her, if it be a crime, 152:68,064@b | She'll never do't another time. 152:68,065@b | She ne'er before in all her life 152:68,066@b | Once disobeyed him, maid nor wife. 152:68,067@b | One argument she summed up all in, 152:68,068@b | The thing was done and past recalling: 152:68,069@b | And therefore hoped she should recover 152:68,070@b | His favour, when his passion's over. 152:68,071@b | She valued not what others thought her, 152:68,072@b | And was ~~ his most obedient daughter."" 152:68,073[' ]| Fair maidens all attend the muse 152:68,074[' ]| Who now the wandering pair pursues. 152:68,075[' ]| Away they rode in homely sort, 152:68,076[' ]| Their journey long, their money short; 152:68,077[' ]| The loving couple well bemired; 152:68,078[' ]| The horse and both the riders tired: 152:68,079[' ]| Their victuals bad, their lodging worse; 152:68,080[' ]| Phyl cried, and John began to curse; 152:68,081[' ]| Phyl wished, that she had strained a limb, 152:68,082[' ]| When first she ventured out with him: 152:68,083[' ]| John wished, that he had broke a leg 152:68,084[' ]| When first for her he quitted Peg. 152:68,085[' ]| But what adventures more befell 'em, 152:68,086[' ]| The muse hath now no time to tell 'em. 152:68,087[' ]| How Johnny wheedled, threatened, fawned, 152:68,088[' ]| Till Phyllis all her trinkets pawned: 152:68,089[' ]| How oft she broke her marriage vows 152:68,090[' ]| In kindness to maintain her spouse, 152:68,091[' ]| Till swains unwholesome spoiled the trade; 152:68,092[' ]| For now the surgeon must be paid, 152:68,093[' ]| To whom those perquisites are gone, 152:68,094[' ]| In Christian justice due to John. 152:68,095[' ]| When food and raiment now grew scarce, 152:68,096[' ]| Fate put a period in the farce, 152:68,097[' ]| And with exact poetic justice; 152:68,098[' ]| For John is landlord, Phyllis hostess: 152:68,099[' ]| They keep, at Staines, the Old*Blue*Boar, 152:68,100[' ]| Are cat and dog, and rogue and whore. 152:69,000[' ]| <\The Progress of Beauty\> 152:69,001[A ]| When first Diana leaves her bed, 152:69,002[A ]| Vapours and steams her looks disgrace, 152:69,003[A ]| A frowzy dirty coloured red 152:69,004[A ]| Sits on her cloudy wrinkled face; 152:69,005[A ]| But, by degrees, when mounted high, 152:69,006[A ]| Her artificial face appears 152:69,007[A ]| Down from her window in the sky, 152:69,008[A ]| Her spots are gone, her visage clears. 152:69,009[A ]| 'Twixt earthly females and the moon, 152:69,010[A ]| All parallels exactly run; 152:69,011[A ]| If Celia should appear too soon, 152:69,012[A ]| Alas, the nymph would be undone! 152:69,013[A ]| To see her from her pillow rise 152:69,014[A ]| All reeking in a cloudy steam, 152:69,015[A ]| Cracked lips, foul teeth, and gummy eyes; 152:69,016[A ]| Poor Strephon, how would he blaspheme! 152:69,017[A ]| The soot or powder which was wont 152:69,018[A ]| To make her hair look black as jet, 152:69,019[A ]| Falls from her tresses on her front 152:69,020[A ]| A mingled mass of dirt and sweat. 152:69,021[A ]| Three colours, black, and red, and white, 152:69,022[A ]| So graceful in their proper place, 152:69,023[A ]| Remove them to a different light. 152:69,024[A ]| They form a frightful hideous face. 152:69,025[A ]| For instance, when the lily skips 152:69,026[A ]| Into the precincts of the rose, 152:69,027[A ]| And takes possession of the lips, 152:69,028[A ]| Leaving the purple to the nose. 152:69,029[A ]| So, Celia went entire to bed, 152:69,030[A ]| All her complexions safe and sound; 152:69,031[A ]| But when she rose, white, black, and red, 152:69,032[A ]| Though still in sight, had changed their ground. 152:69,033[A ]| The black, which would not be confined, 152:69,034[A ]| A more inferior station seeks, 152:69,035[A ]| Leaving the fiery red behind, 152:69,036[A ]| And mingles in her muddy cheeks. 152:69,037[A ]| The paint by perspiration cracks, 152:69,038[A ]| And falls in rivulets of sweat, 152:69,039[A ]| On either side you see the tracks, 152:69,040[A ]| While at her chin the confluents met. 152:69,041[A ]| A skilful housewife thus her thumb 152:69,042[A ]| With spittle while she spins, anoints, 152:69,043[A ]| And thus the brown meanders come 152:69,044[A ]| In trickling streams betwixt her joints. 152:69,045[A ]| But Celia can with ease reduce, 152:69,046[A ]| By help of pencil, paint and brush, 152:69,047[A ]| Each colour to its place and use, 152:69,048[A ]| And teach her cheeks again to blush. 152:69,049[A ]| She knows her early self no more: 152:69,050[A ]| But filled with admiration stands, 152:69,051[A ]| As other painters oft adore 152:69,052[A ]| The workmanship of their own hands. 152:69,053[A ]| Thus, after four important hours 152:69,054[A ]| Celia's the wonder of her sex; 152:69,055[A ]| Say, which among the heavenly powers 152:69,056[A ]| Could cause such marvellous effects? 152:69,057[A ]| Venus, indulgent to her kind, 152:69,058[A ]| Gave women all their hearts could wish 152:69,059[A ]| When first she taught them where to find 152:69,060[A ]| White lead and Lusitanian dish. 152:69,061[A ]| Love with white lead cements his wings, 152:69,062[A ]| White lead was sent us to repair 152:69,063[A ]| Two brightest, brittlest, earthly things, 152:69,064[A ]| A lady's face, and china-ware. 152:69,065[A ]| She ventures now to lift the sash, 152:69,066[A ]| The window is her proper sphere: 152:69,067[A ]| Ah, lovely nymph! be not too rash, 152:69,068[A ]| Nor let the beaux approach too near. 152:69,069[A ]| Take pattern by your sister star, 152:69,070[A ]| Delude at once, and bless our sight, 152:69,071[A ]| When you are seen, be seen from far, 152:69,072[A ]| And chiefly choose to shine by night. 152:69,073[A ]| In the Pall*Mall when passing by, 152:69,074[A ]| Keep up the glasses of your chair, 152:69,075[A ]| Then each transported fop will cry, 152:69,076@w | ""God damn me Jack, she's wondrous fair."" 152:69,077[A ]| But, art no longer can prevail 152:69,078[A ]| When the materials all are gone, 152:69,079[A ]| The best mechanic hand must fail, 152:69,080[A ]| When nothing's left to work upon. 152:69,081[A ]| Matter, as wise logicians say, 152:69,082[A ]| Cannot without a form subsist; 152:69,083[A ]| And form, say I, as well as they, 152:69,084[A ]| Must fail, if matter brings no grist. 152:69,085[A ]| And this is fair Diana's case; 152:69,086[A ]| For all astrologers maintain, 152:69,087[A ]| Each night a bit drops off her face, 152:69,088[A ]| While mortals say she's in her wane. 152:69,089[A ]| While Partridge wisely shows the cause 152:69,090[A ]| Efficient of the moon's decay, 152:69,091[A ]| That Cancer with his poisonous claws, 152:69,092[A ]| Attacks her in the Milky*Way: 152:69,093[A ]| But Gadbury, in art profound, 152:69,094[A ]| From her pale cheeks pretends to show, 152:69,095[A ]| That swain Endymion is not sound, 152:69,096[A ]| Or else, that Mercury's her foe. 152:69,097[A ]| But, let the cause be what it will, 152:69,098[A ]| In half a month she looks so thin, 152:69,099[A ]| That Flamsteed can, with all his skill 152:69,100[A ]| See but her forehead and her chin. 152:69,101[A ]| Yet, as she wastes, she grows discreet, 152:69,102[A ]| Till midnight never shows her head: 152:69,103[A ]| So rotting Celia strolls the street, 152:69,104[A ]| When sober folks are all abed. 152:69,105[A ]| For sure if this be Luna's fate, 152:69,106[A ]| Poor Celia, but of mortal race, 152:69,107[A ]| In vain expects a longer date 152:69,108[A ]| To the materials of her face. 152:69,109[A ]| When Mercury her tresses mows 152:69,110[A ]| To think of black lead combs is vain, 152:69,111[A ]| No painting can restore a nose, 152:69,112[A ]| Nor will her teeth return again. 152:69,113[A ]| Two balls of glass may serve for eyes, 152:69,114[A ]| White lead can plaster up a cleft, 152:69,115[A ]| But these alas, are poor supplies 152:69,116[A ]| If neither cheeks, nor lips be left. 152:69,117[A ]| Ye powers, who over love preside, 152:69,118[A ]| Since mortal beauties drop so soon, 152:69,119[A ]| If you would have us well supplied, 152:69,120[A ]| Send us new nymphs with each new moon. 152:70,000[' ]| <\The Progress of Poetry\> 152:70,001[A ]| The farmer's goose, who in the stubble, 152:70,002[A ]| Has fed without restraint, or trouble; 152:70,003[A ]| Grown fat with corn and sitting still, 152:70,004[A ]| Can scarce get o'er the barn-door sill: 152:70,005[A ]| And hardly waddles forth, to cool 152:70,006[A ]| Her belly in the neighbouring pool: 152:70,007[A ]| Nor loudly cackles at the door; 152:70,008[A ]| For cackling shows the goose is poor. 152:70,009[A ]| But when she must be turned to graze, 152:70,010[A ]| And round the barren common strays, 152:70,011[A ]| Hard exercise, and harder fare, 152:70,012[A ]| Soon make my dame grow lank and spare: 152:70,013[A ]| Her body light, she tries her wings, 152:70,014[A ]| And scorns the ground, and upward springs, 152:70,015[A ]| While all the parish, as she flies, 152:70,016[A ]| Hear sounds harmonious from the skies. 152:70,017[A ]| Such is the poet, fresh in pay, 152:70,018[A ]| (The third night's profits of his play;) 152:70,019[A ]| His morning-draughts till noon can swill, 152:70,020[A ]| Among his brethren of the quill: 152:70,021[A ]| With good roast beef his belly full, 152:70,022[A ]| Grown lazy, foggy, fat, and dull: 152:70,023[A ]| Deep sunk in plenty, and delight, 152:70,024[A ]| What poet e'er could take his flight? 152:70,025[A ]| Or stuffed with phlegm up to the throat, 152:70,026[A ]| What poet e'er could sing a note? 152:70,027[A ]| Nor Pegasus could bear the load, 152:70,028[A ]| Along the high celestial road; 152:70,029[A ]| The steed, oppressed, would break his girth, 152:70,030[A ]| To raise the lumber from the earth. 152:70,031[A ]| But, view him in another scene, 152:70,032[A ]| When all his drink is Hippocrene; 152:70,033[A ]| His money spent, his patrons fail, 152:70,034[A ]| His credit out for cheese and ale; 152:70,035[A ]| His two-year's coat so smooth and bare, 152:70,036[A ]| Through every thread it lets in air; 152:70,037[A ]| With hungry meals his body pined, 152:70,038[A ]| His guts and belly full of wind; 152:70,039[A ]| And, like a jockey in a race, 152:70,040[A ]| His flesh brought down to flying case: 152:70,041[A ]| Now his exalted spirit loathes 152:70,042[A ]| Incumbrances of food and clothes; 152:70,043[A ]| And up he rises like a vapour, 152:70,044[A ]| Supported high on wings of paper; 152:70,045[A ]| He singing flies, and flying sings, 152:70,046[A ]| While from below all Grub*Street rings.