| | | | | The Finance debate has, on the whole, been anything but | interesting. That the Minister of the Crown must submit | his taxation to the judgment of the representatives of the | people, is said to be the palladium of our glorious | constitution. Much blood was shed to establish it ~~ many | a struggle has been fought in its defence. But Minerva | herself lost all her majesty when unrobed; and we should be | sorry to introduce any admiring Montalembert to | contemplate the said palladium in | deshabille ~~ that is to say, at dinner-time. The sight | would convince him that there is but a step from the | sublime theory of the British constitution to the less | sublime practice under the regime of Sir G. C. Lewis. The | first thing that would meet his eye would be a huge desert | of musty-looking green benches, dented all along with the | yet warm impression of those absent sages whose | legislative vigour has yielded to Lewis and hunger. | Scattered here and there, like the congregation in a City | church, are a few care-worn partisans ~~ a noble young | whip is sprawling in uneasy slumber on the Treasury bench, | in an attitude which can only be compared to that of an | agonized frog ~~ the clerks are nodding in their bob-wigs | at the table, the Speaker is dozing in his full-bottomed wig | in the chair ~~ nothing seems to be awake save Spooner | and the clock. Yes, there is one exception, which is | sufficient to explain the rest. At the table, the lugubrious | Lewis is plodding his weary way through the | unmanageable figures which the tyrant Wilson has forced | him to father. It is impossible for those who have not heard | him to gather from the reports the faintest idea of the | soporific power of this organ of the constitution. His words | are squeezed out of him at intervals, like milk from a cow. | He has read the dictum of Demosthenes ~~ that action is | the first, second, and third requisite of an orator. | Accordingly, glueing his elbow to his side, he slaps the | table at fixed intervals with the palm of his hand. But this | clockwork proceeding being in no way governed by the | sense of his speech, the slaps generally go to emphasize the | prepositions. A sentence, printed as really spoken, using | dashes to express the minute-gun succession of his phrases, | would run thus: ~~ | | But it is not within the resources of typography to convey | an adequate idea of the contagious sleepiness of this | successor of Gladstone and of Pitt. | But a finance debate is not always so bad as this. Over and | above the displays of Mr. Disraeli and Mr. Gladstone, there | was on Monday night an interlude of a lighter character. | Finance is a dull thing, and a squire is a dull thing; but, just | as two negatives make an affirmative, a squire speaking on | finance is rather an amusing entertainment. On the first | night of the Session, it became evident that Mr. Gladstone | and Mr. Disraeli were likely to concur in a common attack | on the financial scheme of the

"Ministry of all the | Imbecilities;"

and when at last this fact beamed on the | dim recesses of the bucolic intellect, the squires shook with | unutterable wrath. The National Club groaned from the | roof-tree to the cellar ~~ from Mr. Spooner, who was | cursing the Pope in a Committee-room, to the chambermaid | who was telling her experiences in the kitchen. But for a | time it was smothered wrath. They waited for some overt | act. At last the overt act came; and on Monday night the | Cannon Balls ~~ we cannot say exploded, but ~~ went off. | Mr. Bentinck led the attack. His finely-chiselled features | had long given no obscure intimations of his gathering | wrath. He was wont to sit guarding the entrance to the | Opposition gangway, like another Cerberus, only that, the | three heads seem to have been hammered into one; and he | would keep his face turned ever in one direction, scowling | at where the hated Gladstone sat.

"True as the needle | to the pole,"

his speeches ~~ if continuous growls of | ten minutes' duration can be described under that name ~~ | were all devoted to the same holy cause. They invariably | consisted of an attack upon all politicians in general, and a | direct or indirect exposure of Mr. Gladstone's villanies in | particular. On Monday night, after having delivered | himself to his testimony in his usual strain, he concluded | with a vigorous denunciation of all manner of coalitions. | Unluckily, for this last sentiment, he was followed almost | immediately by a hoary sage ~~ another specimen of the | political Dodo ~~ Sir John Tyrell, who announced in pretty | plain terms his intention of coalescing with Lord | Palmerston. This portly squire was once a burning and a | shining light. But for some time past he has withdrawn | himself from all communication with a polluted Legislature, | and has been nursing his genius in the seclusion of rural | Essex, where the English language seems as yet to have | obtained a very limited development. His eccentric | grammar and wandering gossip kept the House in a roar of | laughter from the beginning to the end of his speech. He | began by informing the House that he was very much | surprised at right honourable and honourable gentlemen | sitting on so many benches ~~ a fact, we may remark, | which seems to be sufficiently explained by the limited | dimensions of the said benches ~~ but by which the worthy | old gentleman intended to imply the number of sections | into which the House was split. He then proceeded to an | interesting disquisition on the authorship of an article in the | Quarterly, and other matters | equally relevant, and concluded by lamenting that he was in | an incomprehensible position ~~ a remark in which all men | of sense were inclined to coincide, but which, it appears, | signifies, in the Essex dialect, a position ~~ a remark in | which all men of sense were inclined to coincide, but which, | it appears, signifies, in the Essex dialect, a position in | which he could not comprehend the movements of other | people. His best friends could only cheer him in the | intervals between their fits of laughter ~~ excepting always | the deep-mouthed of Newdegate, the intonations of which | have never been weakened by unseemly mirth. In due time | the division came; and the last defenders of British | Protestantism marched out to the number of 22. It is a sad | sign of our decaying morality that their virtuous resistance | to Jesuits, traitors, and coalitions roused no greater | sympathy. The only impression it seemed to produce on | the House was to make honourable members very cross at | being kept, at midnight, for three-quarters of an hour, | dividing twice, in a hot, crowded lobby. It is said that the | nascent party whose birth-throes we have restored the title | of Cannon-Balls ~~ which they resemble in density, if not | in weight ~~ have been called into existence by the late | episcopal appointments. We had not given the country | gentlemen credit for so much religious enthusiasm. We | should like to hear Mr. Bentinck's spiritual experiences, | and we hope he will invite us to tea whenever he gives | them. But whatever their theological relations may be, we | can well imagine that there must be a strong intellectual | sympathy between the Cannon-Ball prelates and the | Cannon-Ball M.P's.