| | | | | | Nothing is more decisively indicative of the real value of | necessity of a thing than the fact that, while its presence is | hardly noticeable, it is immediately missed and asked for | when it disappears; and it is thus that the paramount | importance of clothing asserts itself by the conspicuousness | of its absence. Of course the first purpose of dress is, or | should be, decency, and for this, quantity rather than | quality is looked for. But, as with the little cloud no larger | than man's hand, so from the primary fig-leaf or first | element of dress, how great things have arisen! In respect | of amplification, dress may be said to have attained its | maximum when men wore ruffs which nearly concealed | their heads, and shoes a quarter of a yard longer than their | feet; but

"fashion"

has its day, and now dress | threatens to dwindle into something not far from its original | or fig-leaf dimensions. Another perfectly legitimate object | of dress is attractiveness, so that by its aid our persons may | be set off to the best advantage; dress should also be | individual and symbolic, so as to indicate clearly the | position and character which we desire to obtain and hold. | It is not of men's attire that we have now to speak; that has | been settled for them by the tailors' strike, which practically | ordained that he that was shabby should be shabby, or even | shabbier still, and he that had allowed himself to be thrust | into the straitened trousers and scanty coatee of last year | should continue to exhibit his proportions long after the | grotesqueness of his figure had been recognized even | himself. But it is of the dress of our women that we are | compelled to testify, and it can hardly be denied that at the | present moment it offends grievously in three particulars. | It is inadequate for decency; it lacks that truthfulness which | is, and should be, the base of all that is attractive and | beautiful; and in its symbolism it is in the highest degree | objectionable, for it not only aims at what is unreal and | false, but it simulates that which is positively hateful and | meretricious, so that it is difficult now for even a practised | eye to distinguish the high-born maiden or matron of | Belgravia from the Anonymas who haunt the drive and fill | our streets. | This indictment is, it may be said, a severe one; but if we | examine, so far as male critics may venture to do, the | costume of a fashionable woman of the day, it can hardly | be said to be unjust. The apparent object of modern female | dress is to assimilate its wearers as nearly as possible in | appearance to women of a certain class ~~ the class to | which it was formerly hardly practicable to allude, and yet | be intelligible to young ladies; but all that is changed, and | the habits and customs of the women of the | demi-monde are now studied as if they | were indeed curious, but exceptionally admirable also, and | thus a study unseemly and unprofitable has begotten a spirit | of imitation which has achieved a degrading success.

| "Our modest matrons meet,"

not

"to stare the | strumpet down,"

but to compare notes, to get hints, | and to engage in a kind of friendly rivalry ~~ in short, too | pay that homage to Vice, and in a very direct way too, | which Vice is said formerly to have paid to Virtue. Paint | and powder are of course the first requisites for the end in | view and these adjuncts have to be laid on with such skill | as the or her toilette-maid | possesses, which is sometimes so small as to leave their | handiwork disgustingly coarse and apparent. There are | pearl-powder, violet-powder, rouge, bistro for the eyelids, | bella donna for the eyes, whitelead and blacklead, yellow | dye and mineral acids for the hair ~~ all tending to the utter | destruction of both hair and skin. The effect of this

| "diaphanous"

complexion and

"nurified"

| hair (we borrow the expressions) in a person intended by | nature to be dark, or swarthy, is most comical; sometimes | the whitelead is used so unsparingly that it has quite a blue | tint, which glistens until the face looks more like a death's | head anointed with phosphorus and oil for theatrical | purposes than the head of a Christian gentlewoman. It may | be interesting to know, and we have the information from | high, because fashionable | authority, that the rein of golden locks and blue-white | visages is drawing to a close, and that it is to be followed | by bronze complexion and blue-black hair ~~ | we presume. When | fashionable Madame has, to her own satisfaction, painted | and varnished her face, she then proceeds, like Jezebel, to | tire her head, and, whether she has much hair or little, she | fixes on to the back of it a huge nest of coarse hair | generally well baked in order to free it from the parasites | with which it abounded when it first adorned the person of | some Russian or North German peasant girl. Or course this | gives an unnaturally large and heavy appearance to the | cerebellar region; but nature is not exactly what is aimed at, | still less refinement. If this style be not approved of, there | is yet another fashion ~~ namely, to cut the hair short in a | crop, it, curl it, frizzle it, | bleach it, burn it, and otherwise torture it until it has about | as much life in it as last year's hay; and then to shampoo it, | rumple it, and tousle it, until the effect is to produce the | aspect of a madwoman in one of her worst fits. This | method, less troublesome and costly than the other, may be | considered even more striking, so that it is largely adopted | by a number of persons who are rather disreputable, and | poor. As is well known, not all of the asinine tribe wear | asses' ears; nevertheless some of these votaries of dress find | their ears too long, or too large, or ill-placed, or, what | comes to the same thing, inconveniently placed, but a | prettier or better-shaped pair are easily purchased, | admirably moulded in gutta-percha or some other plastic | material; they are delicately coloured, fitted up with | earrings and a spring apparatus, and they are then adjusted | on to the head, the despised natural ears being of course | carefully hidden from view. It is long enough since a | bonnet meant shelter to the face or protection to the head; | that fragment of a bonnet which at present represents the | head gear, and which was some years ago worn on the back | of the head and nape of the neck, is now poised on the | front, and ornamented with birds, portions of beasts, | reptiles, and insects. We have seen a bonnet composed of a | rose and a couple of feathers, another of two or three | butterflies or as many beads and a bit of lace, and a third | represented by five green leaves joined at the stalks. A | white or spotted veil is thrown over the visage, in order that | the adjuncts that properly belong to the theatre may not be | immediately detected in the glare of daylight; and thus, | with diaphanous tinted face, large painted eyes, and | stereotyped smile, the lady goes forth looking much more | as if she had stepped out of the green room of a theatre, or | from a Haymarket saloon, than from an English home. But | it is in evening costume that our women have reached the | minimum of dress and the maximum of brass. We | remember a venerable old lady whose ideas of decorum | were such that in her speech all above the foot was ankle, | and all below the chin was chest; but now the female | bosom is less the subject of a revelation that the feature of | an exposition, and charms that were once reserved are now | made the common property of every looker on. A costume | which has been described as consisting of a smock, a | waistband, and a frill seems to exceed the bounds of honest | liberality, and resembles most perhaps the attire mentioned | by Rabelais, . Not very long ago two gentlemen | were standing together at the Opera. ? inquired | one, with a significant glance, directing the eyes of his | companion to the uncovered bust of a lady immediately | below. , was the suggestive reply. We are not | aware whether the speaker was consciously or | unconsciously reproducing a well-known archiepiscopal | mot. Though our neighbours are | not strait-laced, so far as bathing-costume is concerned, | they are less tolerant of the nude than we are in this | highly-favoured land. There was lately a story in one of the | French papers that at a certain ball a lady was requested to | leave the room because a chain of wrought gold, suspended | from shoulder to shoulder, was the sole protection which it | seemed to her well to wear on her bosom. To have made | the toilette correspond throughout, the dress should have | consisted of a crinoline skirt, which, though not so | ornamental, would have been not less admirable and more | effective. Of course there are women to whom nature has | been niggardly in the matter of roundness of form, but even | these need not despair; if they cannot show their own busts, | they can show something nearly as good, since we read the | following, which we forbear to translate: ~~ . | Of those limbs which it is still forbidden to expose | absolutely, the form and contour can at least be put in relief | by insisting on the skirts being gored and straightened to | the utmost; indeed, some of the riding-habits we have seen | worn are in this respect so contrived that, when viewed | from behind, especially when the wearer is not of too | fairy-like proportions, they resemble a pair of tight trousers | rather than the full flowing robe which we remember as so | graceful and becoming to a woman. It will be observed | that the general aim of all these adventitious aids is to give | an impression of earth and the fullness thereof, to appear to | have a bigger cerebellum, a more sensuous development of | limb, and a greater abundance of flesh than can be either | natural or true; but we are almost at a loss how to express | the next point of ambition with which the female mind has | become inspired. The women who are not as those who | love their lords wish to be ~ indeed, as we have heard, | those who have no lords of their own to love ~~ have | conceived the notion that, by simulating an

| "interesting condition"

(we select the phrase accepted | as the most delicate), they will add to their attractions; and | for this purpose an article of toilet ~~ an India-rubber | anterior bustle ~~ called the | , | | has been invented, and is worn beneath the dress, | nominally to make the folds fall properly, but in reality, as | the name betrays, to give the appearance of a woman | advanced in pregnancy. No person will be found to say | that the particular condition, when real, is unseemly or | ridiculous. What it is when assumed, and for such a | purpose ~~ whether it is not all that and something worse | ~~ we leave our readers to decide for themselves. It is said | that one distinguished personage first employed crinoline in | order to render more graceful her appearance while in this | situation; but these ladies with their ridiculous | , without excuse as without | shame, travesty nature in their own persons in a way which | a low-comedy actress would be ashamed to do in a | tenth-rate theatre. The name is French, let us hope the idea is | also; and this reminds us of the title of a little piece lately | played in Paris by amateurs for some charitable purpose ~~ | . No; in France they may | indeed say, ? And if each separate point of | female attire and decoration is a sham, so the whole is often | a deception and a fraud. It is not true that by taking thought | one cannot add a cubit to one's stature, for ladies, by taking | thought about it, do add, if not a cubit, at least | considerably, to their height, which, like almost everything | about them, is often unreal. With high heels, | , and hat, we may calculate | that about four or five inches are altogether borrowed for | the occasion. Thus it comes to be a grave matter of doubt, | when a man marries, how much is real of the woman who | has become his wife, or how much of her is her own only in | the sense that she has bought, and possibly may have paid | for, it. To use the words of an old writer, . Of the | wife elect, her ones, her debts, and her caprices may be the | only realities which she can bestow on her husband. All | the rest ~~ hair, teeth, complexion, ears, bosom, figure, | including the ~~ are alike | an imposition and a falsehood. In such case we should | recommend, for the sake of both parties, that during at least | the wedding tour, the same precautions should be observed | as when Louis XV. travelled with . | It may be said that in all this we are ungenerous and | ungrateful, and that in discussing the costume of women we | are touching on a question which pertains to women more | than to men. But is that so? Are we not by thus exposing | what is false, filthy, and meretricious, seeking to lead what | was once dignified by the name of

"the fair sex"

| from a course alike unbecoming and undignified to one | more worthy of the sex and its attributes Most men like to | please women, and most women like to please men. For, as | has been well said, . We have a right to suppose | that women do not adopt a fashion or a costume unless they | suppose that it will add to their attractions in general, and | possibly also please men in particular. This being so, it | may be well to observe that these fashions do not please or | attract men, for we know they are but the inventions of | some vulgar selfish or | . We may add that if we | want to study the nude we can do so in the sculpture | galleries, or among the Tableaux Vivants, at our ease; and | that for well-bred or well-educated and well-born women, | or even for only fashionable and fast women, to | approximate in their manners, habits, and dress to the | members of the demi-monde is a | mistake, and a grievous one, if they wish to be really and | adequately appreciated by men whose good opinion, if not | more, they would desire to possess.